Do you think a guy might be hitting on you? But you don’t know for sure?
It’s tricky to understand what a guy’s main intentions are, particularly when your own biases and emotions are getting in the way.
If you’re attracted to the guy, then you risk getting inside your own head and misinterpreting their behavior as signs that they really are hitting on you.
Or maybe you’ve never really had guys hitting on you in the past so you automatically assume that no guy could be.
So it’s imperative that you take a step back and analyze a guy’s behavior from a neutral standpoint.
The good news?
The signs that a guy is hitting on you are fairly obvious for most to see and they certainly don’t take a body-language expert to work them out.
You just need to know what to look for.
Alright, so wipe away your preconceived concepts. Let’s figure out if this guy is hitting on you.
Here are 10 signs a guy is hitting on you.
1. He is showing off
Look, there’s no getting around it: If a guy is hitting on you then he is going to try and show off to impress you.
Most guys know that they can’t just approach a girl and ask her out. He needs to increase his own value in order to attract the girl in the first place.
Depending on the guy, he might be really bold and direct. He could openly brag about his high income or the celebrities he hangs out with.
If he is clever, he’ll brag but in a more subtle way so it doesn’t look like bragging.
He’ll tell you stories about his life, where he’s traveled, the things he’s accomplished.
Or he’ll use his body to show you how athletically capable he is (we talk about that below).
2. He is trying really hard to be funny
The way some guys flirt is by being funny. In fact, for some guys, being funny is the only way they know how to flirt.
Research has uncovered that laughing or trying to make someone express amusement, is a strong indicator of romantic interest.
So if he is obviously trying really hard to make you laugh, then the signs point to him hitting on you.
This is very easy to notice when you’re in a group of people.
If he tells a joke to the group, and then he immediately looks at you to see your reaction, then that’s pretty obvious that he is trying to tell a joke purely for your benefit.
It shows that he wants to impress you. After all, he wants to make sure you find him funny!
Don’t worry, if he isn’t particularly funny but you want to go out with him, he will eventually calm down and cool it on the stupid jokes.
3. He is straight to the point and he compliments you
Some guys are more direct than others and they will have no problems letting you know what they love about you.
Maybe they’ll tell you that your smile is beautiful, or compliment your dress and how it matches with the color of your eyes.
Even if he is being a little too direct about it, it’s pretty obvious he is hitting on you if he can’t help but let you know how incredible you are.
Look, one compliment here and there probably isn’t something to ride home about, but if he is doing it constantly, then you can bet your bottom dollar that he is hitting on you.
A surefire sign that he is really hitting on you is if his compliments go deeper about who you are or compliments that aren’t as obvious.
It could be a unique tidbit about your personality that he finds fascinating, or it could be something unusual like the way you twirl your hair.
Not only is he hitting on you if he comes up with compliments like these, but he probably has a genuine crush on you as well.
Only a guy who is really paying attention to you would come up with unique and unusual compliments that you haven’t heard before.
4. He stands up taller, pulls his stomach in, and pushes his shoulders back
When he sees you’re nearby, his posture suddenly becomes nothing short of immaculate.
He wants to impress you and show you that he has a good body.
According to psychologist Joe Navaroo in Psychology Today, women are so subconsciously attracted to the “V” shape that men’s jackets are purposefully padded on the shoulders to ensure that men achieve this shape.
He subconsciously knows this! That’s why he does whatever he can to make his shoulders look bigger and wider than they are.
After all, he wants to give off the vibe that he is an alpha male that is capable of taking care of you.
Here are some signs to look out for to figure out if he is hitting you:
– Does he change his walking style when he passes you? Does he push his shoulders and chest back and spread his body to make him look bigger?
– When he sits near you, is he trying to use all of the space that he can?
-When he notices you, does he immediately push his shoulders back?
5. He remembers everything you tell him
Remember that time you were talking about Mike who broke up with, umm, what’s her name?
Don’t worry, he remembers. He recalls exactly what happened because you told him.
If he can remember everything you’ve mentioned that didn’t seem that important at the time, then you know he is intensely listening to you.
And if he is captivated by even banal things you say to him, then you can bet your bottom dollar he is into you.
After all, I mean let’s be honest for a moment.
Guys aren’t great at remembering things in conversations, so if he remembers every small detail of every conversation you’ve had, then he is without a doubt into you.
6. He wants to help you
Does he want to protect you? Would he drop whatever he’s doing and come to your place to fix something?
These are genuine signs that he likes you.
Even if you’ve just met a guy, if you mention a problem to him, and he talks endlessly about possible solutions in order to help you, then chances are he is hitting on you.
Because a guy wants to show to a woman he likes that he can step up to the plate and protect her.
In fact, this is explained best by a new concept in relationship psychology that’s generating a lot of buzz at the moment.
It is called the hero instinct.
It goes to the heart of why men want to help women they have romantic feelings for.
Simply put, men want to be a hero to the woman they care about. He wants to step up to the plate and help her whenever he can.
This is deeply rooted in his biology.
I know it sounds a bit silly. In modern times, women don’t need someone to be their “hero” to save the day.
And I couldn’t agree more.
But here’s the ironic truth. Men do still need to feel like they are a hero. Because it’s built into their DNA to seek out a relationship with a woman that makes them feel like one.
If he’s already helping you a lot, then chances are you’ve triggered his hero instinct. However, there are still things you can do that will bring out this instinct further.
To learn the words you can use, phrases you can say, and texts you can send to trigger the hero instinct in your guy, check out this excellent free video.
James Bauer, the relationship psychologist who first discovered the hero instinct, gives a terrific introduction to his concept.
I don’t often buy into popular new concepts in psychology or recommend videos. However, I think the hero instinct can be a game-changer when it comes to making a man commit.
7. He is getting close to you
How close a guy gets to you can really tell you a lot about what they’re feeling about you.
If he laughs excessively at your jokes or lightly touches your arm, or brushes your hand accidentally, then he is probably hitting on you.
He’ll use any excuse he can to find a way to touch you.
Paying close attention to casual moments between the two of you can tell you about how he is feeling.
After all, if he is attracted to you, then subconsciously he will want to get close to you.
His hormones and neurotransmitters in the brain are probably firing like crazy whenever he gets close to you, so he will definitely want to do it more.
Now again, keep in mind that shy guys who want to hit on you probably won’t have the courage to get close to you.
But what you can do in this situation is get close to him and see how he reacts. If he enjoys it, or even blushes because he is shy, then he probably likes you.
Also, remember that if a guy is hitting on you and pushing against your personal bubble, he should be doing it in a respectful and appropriate way that never makes you feel uncomfortable.
Grabbing, invasive, or groping hands that go too far without your consent are a giant red flag.
8. He can’t help but look deeply into your eyes
As the saying goes, eyes really do reveal a window into someone’s soul.
Or in this case, whether he is attracted to you.
If he watches you like a hawk (not in a creepy, weird way), he is showing that he is very interested in whatever it is you’re doing.
To be honest, eye contact is probably the biggest indicator of interest.
Now again, the level of eye contact a guy shows is going to depend on whether he is shy or confident.
If he is direct and confident, he’ll probably maintain eye contact and smile when you catch him looking.
If he is shy, he’ll probably look away when you catch him looking, but then return to your gaze moments later.
9. He’s always asking questions (and listening)
If a guy is asking you questions about details in your life, the way you feel about things, how you’re doing on a day-to-day basis, or anything that has to do with you, it’s because he’s interested in you.
Now maybe he’s just being nice or has a gregarious personality.
But maybe it’s because he really likes you and is hiding it.
How much does he remember about what you say? If he remembers a lot, it shows that he’s been listening to the answers you give him.
A man who listens is a man who cares, so he probably has feelings for you.
10. He can’t stop smiling around you
Call it fake. Call it being positive. But one thing is clear:
If he can’t help but smile around you, then it’s a clear sign that he might be hitting on you.
For one, he is probably trying to make a good impression. We all know that a smile can make anyone look better.
He also wants to appear happy around you and show you that he is a stand-up guy that you can also have fun with.
And two, he’s probably just enjoying your company. When anyone gets time to spend with someone they truly like, then you know that they’re going to relish that time.
You can’t fake true happiness. He loves spending time with you and he loves what he sees.
Now keep in mind:
You will also need to get a baseline of how he acts around other people before interpreting his smiling around you as a sign of affection.
If he smiles around every one, then he might just be a friendly, nice guy.
He also might see you as a friend.
But if he doesn’t act like that around others, then it’s most likely that he is hitting on you.
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.
I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.