No woman is attracted to a desperate guy. They are just, well, desperate.
If a guy is texting you too often, sending dozens of flirtatious texts in one day, or continually pushing for something more than you’re ready for, chances are he’s just not worth your time.
So it’s fair to say, you want to be able to recognize when a guy is being desperate.
That way, you can kick him to the curb and find a new guy that’s, you know, actually secure in himself.
Alright, so let’s find out.
Here are 17 signs a guy is being desperate over text.
1. He responds to you immediately
This is a huge sign that he is desperate and just can’t be alone for too long.
No matter what time of day you message, he responds back almost immediately. This, in and of itself, is a big red flag.
And, let me tell you, if you don’t respond almost immediately to a text message, it’s not mutual interest.
2. Mr. Texts-a-lot
If a guy keeps texting you or contacting you frequently through text, blogging or other means of technology without being invited to, he is most likely desperate.
He obviously doesn’t have many friends, or other girls on the go, so he constantly messages you.
He craves contact with you, and while he definitely likes you, if he constantly contacts you at different times during the day, and responds almost immediately to anything you send him, then this guy hasn’t got much else going on in his life besides his love for you.
That’s a giant red flag that this guy is desperate.
3. Anything you say goes
He agrees with everything you say. If you tell him to do something, he does it. This guy just wants to please you. He wants to feel important and wanted, but he never wants to be the one in control.
You’re behind the wheel in this relationship.
If you’re texting him and you’re trying to figure out where you guys can meet in person, if he just says, “Whatever place you want to go is fine”, then this guy might be desperate.
Why? Because he is so desperate to meet you, he literally doesn’t care about the location.
Or if when you’re texting, he agrees with everything you say, and even has the same opinions as you, then he is desperate to make a good impression on you.
In other words:
You have all the power and this guy will say anything to make you sure you both have a good connection.
4. He’s always available
If his schedule is always open and he can’t think of anything he has to do, and if he’s always saying yes to hanging out with you, then this guy is desperate.
Just like how he is available to text you at every moment, he is also available any time of any day to meet you.
He wants to see you as much as possible because he just likes being in your presence.
His actions demonstrate that he can’t get enough of you and that your time is precious to him.
It’s weird for someone to have their schedule literally ALWAYS open. It means this guy doesn’t have much going on in his life and is just always available for you to hang out with you.
5. He tries to turn the texting sexual
If your guy sends you a text and instead of just saying something cute, he makes a sexual comment or asks you to send him a photo of you, he is being desperate.
A confident guy will be sure to keep the flirting on the boundaries of your comfort level.
If he asks for something more than you’re comfortable giving him, let him know so he doesn’t seem desperate.
The fact of the matter is this:
A guy that crosses the boundaries when texting is desperate because they haven’t got anyone else to satisfy them.
They have to resort to texting you and getting naughty via texting!
This shows his real intentions with you, and it also shows that he hasn’t got any other options besides you.
6. He doesn’t text you like he is your hero
If this guy is seeking your approval and it feels like you have the power when you’re texting him, then it’s likely that he is feeling insecure because he doesn’t feel like your hero.
You see, for a guy to not act desperate and instead be confident, they need to feel like a woman’s protector and provider.
There’s a new theory in the relationship world that’s causing quite a stir – it’s called the hero instinct.
Coined by relationship expert James Bauer, this fascinating concept finally explains how men really think and feel in relationships.
And it’s something most women have never even heard of.
According to James Bauer, men don’t actually need a lot to feel content in their relationships. In fact, what they need has nothing to do with sex.
Men have certain innate drivers. And when a woman comes along and triggers them, it causes a powerful response. The result is a man who loves harder, commits wholeheartedly, and truly dedicates himself to the relationship.
So, how can you trigger your man’s hero instinct?
The easiest thing to do is to watch this simple and genuine video by James Bauer.
The truth is, once you understand how the hero instinct works, there’s no telling what heights your relationship can reach.
So if you want to give your man what he truly wants from you, make sure to check out James Bauer’s excellent video. In it, he reveals the exact texts and phrases you can use straight away.
7. He’s needy
How needy is he?
You can always gauge a person’s neediness level by how they are texting you.
Does he ask for validation?
Does he want to talk to you all day and night, every day of the week?
Does he want your every waking thought to be of him?
If you can say yes to these questions, then this guy is high on the needy meter.
A guy who is secure in himself and in his relationship with you will not be needy.
He’ll speak with you only when he feels like it, and won’t always be bothering you.
8. Overly nice
But a desperate guy will do anything to appease you, and will be overly nice to get somewhere.
They are just too ready to please you because they don’t know what else to do lately.
And it’s never a good sign when a guy is too nice for his own good.
If he’s overly nice, then he either has something to hide or he’s insecure in his masculinity.
9. No hint of sarcasm, gossip, or a sense of humor
A guy that can’t take good humor seriously or hardly uses sarcasm is desperate.
He is serious about your relationship together because he is so afraid of losing you.
He can’t joke or have fun because dating you is a serious matter for him and his life. He’s got nothing else going on in his life, so he needs to be serious.
If you can joke with a guy and he doesn’t understand or appreciate your sense of humor, then this guy is desperate.
He is too used to being in control, so you’ll never get chance to let him know that you’re joking because his mind is already made up that your relationship is very serious.
10. He’s afraid of losing you
Obsessive guys are always afraid of losing the object of his affection.
They think too much about what you’re doing and with whom you’re doing it.
They can’t just let go of you or the idea that, “oh she’s talking to this guy all day, maybe she likes him.”
This happens when a guy has no confidence in himself and is scared that he might lose you.
Through texting, he might ask you where you have been and who you have been hanging out with.
He wants to make sure that you aren’t talking and flirting with other guys. His insecurity comes out in his texts and he’ll make comments like, “I miss you”, or, “I have no life without you.”
A guy who is confident will not say these things.
This is a sign that he is overly dependent on you if he has to constantly think about where you are.
11. He makes plans with you at your convenience
If he asks you what your schedule is like the week after and then makes plans accordingly, then he’s again being desperate.
He wants nothing more than to spend time with you and make sure that at the end of it all, you’re always there for him.
He might just say yes to every thing you say so that he can make sure that every minute of his time is filled with ideas of how he can be near you. He makes plans with you because he wants to make a good impression on you and make sure that you are constantly thinking about him.
If he’s not already ready to make plans with you, then he is desperate for your attention. He needs to act fast so he can have time with you.
12. He’s overly concerned about getting to meet you IRL
Every time your texting, he tries to set up a meeting in IRL with you.
It is his only goal when he is chatting with you. He is desperate to meet you because he doesn’t want to lose his chance.
He thinks that if he can’t meet you by the end of the night, then he’s going to lose you.
So he is extra anxious about seeing you and falling into your physical arms because that’s the only way that he can feel secure in your relationship.
13. He cannot accept your compliments
An insecure guy can’t accept compliments. They think they’re undeserving of them. So if when you compliment him via text and he doesn’t know how to react, he’s definitely feeling insecure.
I remember that a girl I liked was sending me texts, and I complimented her on something she said in response. Instead of acknowledging the kind words, she looked uncomfortable and didn’t respond immediately.
She told me later that she doesn’t know how to accept compliments because she feels that she is not worthy enough to accept them
It made me feel unwanted and like my compliments weren’t appreciated. That is how you might be feeling with this guy.
A guy who is secure and confident will be happy to accept your compliment for what it is.
But if this guy can’t even acknowledge what you say, he is either insecure or helpless.
14. He asks for a lot of reassurance
This is a really bad sign!
Jealous, clingy and insecure guys are always asking for all the reassurance in the world.
They want to know that you love them and that you appreciate them, even if you haven’t done anything to give them any reason not to be reassured.
They want to make sure that you are in your feelings about them. They need to know that you’ll be there for them, that you won’t leave them and that you care about the relationship.
They might ask questions like, “are you happy with our relationship?” or, “are you sure that we’re good?”
If they keep asking this of you… get out now.
15. He’s always arguing with you in your texts
Arguments are never a good sign in any relationship. Arguing in your relationship means that you both have different opinions.
And because we don’t like to be around people who are different or have different opinions, we argue with them and avoid them at all costs.
If this guy is always arguing with you and asking you questions at the end of it, he is desperate to get some sort of positive response from you. He doesn’t get someone else’s point of view because he is so focused on what you want that he doesn’t even allow the other side to be heard.
16. He’s needy… always asking for more attention and reassurance.
Needy guys are always looking for attention, praise, gifts and reassurance from a girl.
It is like they think they’re invisible or that they are at fault for every bad thing that happens in the world.
They constantly need constant reassurance from you and if you don’t give it to them, they panic.
They message you to check on you because they are paranoid that something might happen and that’s why they want to be ready for every option.
Or maybe he posts constantly on social media, and then he messages you to ask you if you’ve seen it.
Or he might even question why you haven’t commented or liked his post yet.
If this guy is always asking for reassurance from you, get out now! He is desperate and insecure.
17. He is always starting the conversation
He is always starting your texting conversation. You rarely do.
This is a sign that this guy is desperate to have a conversation with you.
He is always asking you questions, even when there is no need to. He likes hearing your voice and he wants to know everything about you, including what you’re thinking about.
He doesn’t want to miss an opportunity of getting to know you better. He wants to make sure that he isn’t missing anything major.
If a guy is always trying to start a conversation with you, then he is not secure in himself and his relationship with you.
He is worried that if he doesn’t say something first, then the conversation will go away and so will your attention.
18. His texts are longer than yours
You give him one-word responses, and he pretty much writes you an essay. This guy spends time on his texts. He is dedicating way too much focus into trying to impress you.
It’s clear that he is more invested in his texts than you are. This guy is that much invested in getting you to respond to his texts and hanging around with him.
19. He asks for advice on everything
Insecure guys don’t have a clue how to deal with things themselves. So they always ask their friends and co-workers for advice on how to deal with problems in their relationship.
And in your case, he is sending you texts constantly asking for your opinion and advice. He is not confident in himself and his own solutions. He is always looking for your input because he wants you to tell him how to deal with his problems, or how to deal with everything.
It’s a clear sign that this guy is desperate for your approval and attention.
But if you want this guy t0 stop acting desperate, then what can you do?
I touched on the hero instinct earlier – it’s the perfect remedy for the situation you’re facing.
Because once a man’s hero instinct is triggered, he’ll only have eyes for you. You’ll reach a part of him that no woman has ever managed to reach before.
And in return, he’ll be compelled to commit to you and love you like he’s never loved another woman.
So if you’re ready to take that plunge and reach new heights in your relationship, make sure to check out relationship expert James Bauer’s invaluable advice.
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
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