You never really want to know how well your ex is doing when they step into a new relationship, but you can’t help but wonder.
Is he really as happy now as he once was with you, or is he having the same problems with his new girl that he made in his last relationship?
Here are 11 signs that your ex is actually unhappy in their new relationship, and how exactly you can tell:
1) Your ex speaks badly about your relationships
An unhappy ex is a bitter ex, and the last thing he wants to see when he’s in a terrible new relationship is his ex-girlfriend in an amazing new relationship.
You never want to feel like the bad guy when you end a relationship; at best, you might say that it was a mutual decision and you both had your faults, and at worst, you might blame your ex for causing all your issues.
But if you see your next relationship fall apart while your ex is thriving in theirs, then you can’t help but realize that the problem might be you. This is why the last thing your ex will want to do is acknowledge that you have a great new relationship.
He’ll act like your new guy is terrible, or that you two aren’t good for each other for some reason.
He will find any excuse to rag on your new relationship, simply because he wants to believe that the problem isn’t him.
2) The new person they’re dating is the opposite of you
Let’s say you’re the quiet, introverted, smart, and nerdy type.
And he loved every second of being with you (at least until the fighting started).
But now that he’s dating someone new, you noticed that it’s a girl who is the complete opposite of you. She’s loud, extroverted, and, to put it nicely, not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
So what in the world is going on? Did his taste in women suddenly change?
It’s simple: he’s doing everything he can to forget about you, and that means dating someone who doesn’t remind him of you at all.
Even if it means forcing himself to pretend he likes a completely different type of girl; he would rather do that than keep feeling the pain of losing you.
3) Your ex keeps seeing you
There’s really no reason to see each other as much as you do but you do anyway. Your ex finds multiple (seemingly valid) reasons to see you.
From shared obligations when you were together to mutual-friend gatherings you just can’t seem to skip, it still very much feels like you two are in a relationship.
What’s even more interesting is that they are keen on seeing you alone. Not only does your ex like seeing you, your ex also figures out ways to be in a room alone with you.
So, what if you’re enjoying seeing your ex so often? Could it be that you too want to get back together?
If so, I know how you can go about rekindling the connection between you.
And it’s as simple as sending a text message. A text so powerful, your ex will fear losing you for good.
I learned about this from Brad Browning, best-selling author of The Ex Factor. He goes by the moniker of “the relationship geek”, and for good reason.
In this free video, he’ll show you exactly what you can do to make your ex sit up and realize you’re the one for them.
No matter what your situation is — or how badly things ended between you — he’ll give you a number of useful tips that you can apply straight away.
4) They still stalk you on social media
The great thing about social media is that you can always tell when someone is stalking you.
He’s the first to view your stories — and he watches them more than once — and he also occasionally likes or comments on your posts.
There are times also when it seems like he’s reacting to your posts while pretending that he’s not.
For example, you might post on Instagram that you’re out with your friends or your new man and you’re having a great time; soon after, he will make the same kind of post, one-upping your happiness and making it seem like he’s having an even better time.
But his forced “happiness” ends the moment he realizes you couldn’t care less about what he’s up to.
5) You get drunk calls
Even the best of us can’t keep our emotions inside when we’re under the influence, so if your ex is still missing you and if he loves drowning his feelings in alcohol, then he’ll let you know when he’s at his weakest: lonely, frustrated, and drunk on a weekend at four in the morning.
So ask yourself: have you ever woken up to several missed calls and strange texts from your ex that were sent in the middle of the night?
If you ask him about it the next day, he might just say he butt-dialed you, or that he needed to ask you something trivial.
But the truth is his real feelings were aching to come out — he misses you and he hates his new girlfriend, for the simple fact that she isn’t you.
6) Their relationship has gone from 0 to 100
Oftentimes when a long-term relationship ends, you will see one of the ex-partners jump straight away into another relationship.
And we often call this the rebound; a short-term fling meant to help them forget about their failed relationship.
But that next relationship can also turn into something else — instead of just being a short-term fling, it can suddenly become the most serious relationship they’ve ever had.
So what does this mean?
If your ex’s next partner suddenly seems like their soulmate — even without the appropriate time and investment to build that kind of serious relationship — it’s because they’re forcing it.
They’re doing everything they can to pretend that they didn’t really need you, or that you were the wrong person, even if it means convincing themselves that they’ve finally found their one true love in another person.
But deep down inside, they know that this new relationship is little more than a fraud, and it’s bound to crash a burn eventually. They just want to get over you before this new thing meets its impending death.
7) They overshare about their “perfect” relationship
If your ex’s relationship is too good to be true, it’s probably because it is. Suddenly they’ve found The Right One.
Everywhere you look your ex is right there, bragging about the fairytale ending they’ve always wanted.
The relationship is overwhelmingly perfect — the photos, status updates, and even anecdotes you hear from friends.
They haven’t even known each other for that long and yet it seems like they’ve completely fallen for each other, flaws and all.
If your ex seems to be oversharing about their new relationship, consider the fact that they might also be overcompensating for something. Maybe the relationship isn’t as amazing as it is.
Your ex knows this deep down and the oversharing might be your ex’s way of convincing him or herself that it is this magical thing he or she expected it to be.
9) Your ex is emotionally unavailable
On the other side of the spectrum, there’s emotional unavailability.
Your ex doesn’t talk about the new relationship at all — almost as if the relationship doesn’t exist in the first place.
Your ex mentions the new partner in passing, with just as much the same gusto as when they describe a colleague from work.
Whenever you or your friends try to ask about details, they’re not really keen on sharing.
You get hit with a lot of “Oh it’s fine”s and “It’s good”s. It doesn’t take a super genius to see that your ex isn’t super happy with their current relationship.
10) Their friends still keep tabs on you
You were never really close with your ex’s friends which is why it’s a wonder they still keep tabs on you.
People you have only met a couple of times in your life, usually in your ex’s presence, are still very much interested in matters concerning your personal life, especially your dating life.
Deep down, you know your ex’s friends are acting as spies.
They want to know what’s going on with you so they can report back to your ex with all the juicy gossip and information, without making it seem too obvious that your ex is still very much interested in what’s going on in your life.
11) Your ex fights a lot with their partner
Fights are normal in any relationship. Even the most compatible couples argue from time to time.
But something isn’t quite right with your ex’s new relationship — it’s almost too easy to see that all he or she does is fight with their new partner.
Whenever you see your ex, they don’t seem all too happy with their new partner. The crossed arms, the avoidant glances, the puffing chest — you’ve experienced and seen this all before with your ex.
All it takes is one look to see that they’re clearly not good for each other.
Does that mean you have to do something? Not necessarily.
Your ex is no longer your partner. Their problems with their new problems are private and have nothing to do with you.
Before going on a rescue mission, consider the fact that your ex might not see you as anything more than a friend, so it’s probably best to let sleeping dogs lie unless there are overt signs that they’re looking to get back together with you.
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
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