An ex is like a minefield in a field of flowers.
You never know what you’re going to get if you try your luck and walk around. Some people end up staying friends with their ex; others end up never talking to their ex for the rest of their lives.
And for most of us, it’s a little of both – a love-hate relationship that doesn’t end until the day both individuals end up in new, happy, fulfilling relationships.
Trying to understand how your ex is feeling is the most complicated part of staying in touch with them after the relationship is over.
You might even be feeling that they’re becoming interested in you again, but of course, you don’t want to assume. So how can you tell if they’re starting to “feel” things for you again, or if you’re just imagining things?
Here are 10 common signs that your ex is possibly becoming interested in you again:
1) They’ve Stopped Dating Other People
What’s one thing – maybe the biggest thing – that holds you back from getting back together with your ex (assuming you still have feelings for them)?
Simple: they’re dating other people, and you don’t want to embarrass yourself and get rejected.
So there might be no clearer sign than this one that your ex is interested in reviving something with you: they’ve taken themselves off the market.
So think about it: when was the last time your ex actually went out on a date? Sure, you’re not privy to their love life and dating life, but if they want you to know, you’ll know.
And the truth is they’ll never openly admit that they aren’t dating because they want to be with you; the most you can do is put together the hints and see if the story in your head matches with the story you see with your ex.
2) They Love Talking About the Good Old Days
Most relationships have hard, bitter ends.
Even when a couple ends their relationship amicably, the last thing you want to do with your ex is sit around talking about all the great memories you have together.
On one hand, you both might feel resentment towards each other for ruining the relationship in your own ways, and on the other hand, bringing those memories up just leads to the opening of old wounds.
But an ex who can’t stop talking about the good old days is obviously an ex who wants to try giving the good old days another shot. They want you to realize just how amazing you had it with them, in the hopes that you’ll be the one to start a possible round two for your relationship.
3) They Push and Pull With You
Ever feel like your ex is more hot and cold with you now than they ever were in your relationship?
That’s also called the push and the pull.
One week they might be pushing themselves up against you (metaphorically) as much as humanly possible, spending as much time with you as they can without crossing any boundaries.
And the next week is the complete opposite – they’ll pull away and you won’t hear from them for days, only experiencing random sudden outbursts of anger that they can’t control.
So what in the world is going on, and how do you make it stop?
This push and pull is one of the clearest signs of someone who is deeply emotionally conflicted.
They love you but they also hate you, and they hate themselves for still having all these feelings for you.
They might want the relationship again but they know you two aren’t good for each other, ending up with anger and frustration at their current situation.
4) They Make Excuses To Spend Time With You
The truth is, unless you work with your ex or go to school with them, there is little actual reason to stay in contact with them after the relationship is over.
Even if you have tons of mutual friends, it’s not a complicated task to avoid your ex if you really want to.
So if you keep seeing and interacting with your ex long after the relationship is done, then listen: they’re doing it on purpose.
They want to keep engaging with you even if they know they shouldn’t, because they just can’t help themselves.
There’s no reason to believe all of these meetings are just coincidences.
Now if you think that do still have feelings for you, and you want to get them back, then you need to take action.
So what can you do in this situation? Send this “No Communication” text
— “You’re right. It’s best that we don’t talk right now, but I would like to be friends eventually.” —
This one needs to be sent to your ex at the right time for it to be truly effective.
But why I like it is that you’re communicating with them that you don’t really need to talk anymore. In essence, you’re saying that you don’t really need them to play any role in your life anymore.
Why is this so good?
You induce a “fear of loss” in your ex which will trigger their attraction for you again.
I learned about this text from Brad Browning, who has helped thousands of men and women get their exes back. He goes by the moniker of “the relationship geek”, for good reason.
In this free video, he’ll show you exactly what you can do to make your ex want you again.
No matter what your situation is — or how badly you’ve messed up since the two of you broke up — he’ll give you a number of useful tips that you can apply immediately.
Here’s a link to his free video again. If you really want your ex back, this video will help you do this.
5) They Show That They’ve Changed
You and your ex broke up for a reason, and there’s no chance in hell they aren’t aware of the things you didn’t like about them in the relationship.
After a period of self-reflection, we all go through the epiphany of, “Huh, maybe they’re right; maybe I was wrong”, about one thing or another.
So when an ex wants to reignite the flames between you two, one of the first things they’ll do is show you that they’ve changed.
If you hated that they were often disorganized and late, they’ll find ways to show their newfound talent for organization and promptness.
If they had a terrible temper during the relationship, they’ll make sure you know that they’ve started working on making long-term changes to fix themselves. All of this is done with the subtext: would you take me back now, knowing that I’m willing to make these changes?
6) They Love Trying To Make You Jealous
Does your ex get competitive when you’re around? When you’re within earshot, suddenly they’re a lot more vocal about their amazing dating life.
They’re a lot more affectionate around other people and make it a point to make sure you know all about their most recent exploits.
If the stuff they post on social media seems targeted towards you, or if they’re going out of their way to let you know about this awesome date they’ve had, chances are they’re intentionally trying to stoke jealousy in you.
They obviously still care about the relationship and what you think so they try to strike you where they think it will hurt the most.
7) They Reach Out
And not just in a “hey, can I get my shirt back” kind of way.
Lately, you’ve been noticing that communication has been a lot more consistent, so much so that you can start to expect it.
They reach out to you for absolutely no reason, and there seems to be no end in sight.
Not only that, but your ex is pretty quick when it comes to replying to you, which suggests that they’re keeping an eye out for your responses.
When you find them messaging you and initiating conversations a whole lot more than you do, it could be the starting point for their renewed interest in you.
8) They Try To Improve Themselves, and Let You Know
Suddenly they seem… better.
It’s clear that they’ve started working on some issues you’ve had with them because it’s coming through clearly in your more recent interactions.
What’s even more surprising is that they’re keeping you in the loop about it, maybe even crediting you for the newfound change.
If they’re saying stuff like “I’m a better person because of you” or “I’m changing because of what you said”, there’s a good chance your ex is doing this because they want you to notice the progress they’ve been making.
That’s not to say their growth isn’t genuine.
They could be really taking steps to make their life better, with the side bonus of making sure you see what a great partner they could be in the future.
9) They’re Still Emotionally Engaged With Your Life
Your ex doesn’t just ask about your day; you can tell that they’re interested in something deeper.
They’re not afraid to broach more personal subjects, ranging from how you felt after the break up to where you think your life is headed.
When you tell them about your life, they don’t just take it casually.
It’s easy to see that your ex is emotionally invested in these conversations by going off their reactions and their questions.
If they were just asking questions for the sake of asking them, they’d probably trail off after a couple of minutes.
But if you find yourself going deeper with each turn, it could be a sign of genuine interest from your ex.
10) They Don’t Mind Touching You
Exes can remain good friends after the breakup. It’s not rare for exes to share the same respect and intimacy on a platonic level.
What is a bit rare, is having more physical, intimate touches carry over after the breakup.
If your ex is showing signs of physical affection – maybe putting their hand on your shoulder, brushing against your arms, hugging you, or even holding your hand – there’s a good chance these gestures aren’t purely platonic.
What’s even more indicative is how they interact with other people. Do they touch other people as much as they touch you?
Do they seem careful around others so as to not incite jealousy from you? If so, there could be romance bubbling underneath the surface for your ex.
But if you really want your ex back for good?
You’ll need the help of Brad Browning. I mentioned him earlier, he’s developed some incredible techniques to help rebuild the love and trust between you and your ex.
And the best part?
With his practical advice and tips, you could be in contact with your ex much sooner than you think.
Are you ready to take the plunge and fight for the love you once shared together?
If so, check out Brad’s excellent free video.
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.
I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.
The above link will give you $50 off your first session - an exclusive offer for Love Connection readers.