19 signs an older man is falling in love with you

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So you’ve been dating an older man for a while now, and you’re wondering whether or not he has feelings of love towards you.

The truth is, it can be difficult at first glance to decipher what his intentions really are.

Don’t worry, there may be certain telltale cues as well as behaviors from him which will sometimes help show when an older guy starts getting emotionally attached to you.

Here are 19 signs an older man is falling in love with you – and how to know if he’s serious about you.

1) He moves around his schedule to spend time with you

Generally speaking, people get busier as they grow older. This is especially true for men.

They may have longer careers with more responsibilities and thus less time to devote towards socializing or other leisurely pursuits that younger folks can enjoy.

For an older man, time is a luxury resource for him and he doesn’t like to waste it.

So if you’re dating an older man and notice that he’s willing to change his schedule around so the two of you can spend more time together, this may be your first sign he’s falling in love.

This can mean either changing his plans with other people to meet up with you or rearranging certain events to spend time together.

Or maybe it means canceling his usual gym session in favor of going out to dinner and drinks every now and then.

This is what makes him happy right now – being with you.

Whatever it is, if he’s falling in love with you, expect to see him more often.

2) He listens more than he speaks

An older man has seen and done much in his life.

He’s gained the wisdom and maturity about their experiences over the years, so you could say they know what they’re talking about.

You may be thinking – why in the world would an older man listen to what I have to say?

Because he can.

An older man tends to listen more when he gets older because he’s gained the wisdom to know that listening is just as important, if not more.

If he’s smitten by you, he’ll never need to talk over you or interrupt you when he can learn about your thoughts and feelings from simply listening.

On top of all this, he knows you’ll appreciate him more when he listens –  even in conversations that may not seem important to him.

So when you notice that he’s paying more attention to you, listening more closely to what you have to say, and being less dismissive of your ideas when you talk, that’s a pretty good sign that he could be falling in love with you.

That’s because he wants you to feel comfortable around him while you express your views, ideas, and opinions. He wants the chance to get to know what makes you tick – just as much as he hopes for you to fund out about him, too.

3) He’s been putting you first

A younger man has similar priorities to an older, more mature man. The difference is that he would prioritize himself over anyone else.

Let me explain.

A younger man isn’t as interested in finding a long-term relationship. He has his own dreams to chase, and his own bucket list to accomplish.

He’s more set on establishing his career and having fun like traveling the world and going on adventures.

Simply put, he’d want to experience living the bachelor’s life.

An older man, on the other hand, has had his chance at these things already. He’s already been there, done that, and is looking for a relationship that can be both serious and stable.

So just in case, you notice the man you’re dating is putting you first before anything else, just know that he could already be falling head over heels for you.

How does he put you first?

It really goes beyond spending more time with you. Obviously, if he could, he’d make time for seeing you at all hours of the day, including weekends.

It’s really about him going out of his way to make sure that you’re happy and comfortable with everything he does.

When he goes on a trip, for example, it’s important to him that you know where he is at all times. He wouldn’t want you worrying because the signs are already there: he wants more from this relationship than just casual dating.

If an older man is falling in love with a younger woman like yourself, he’d put your thoughts and feelings into consideration before anything else.

4) He is more comfortable with himself and less critical of you

An older man won’t let little things get under his skin as a young man would. He’ll usually be able to see the positive side of things and not allow the trivial to interfere with his enjoyment of life.

As compared to younger men, hes’ seen and experienced more, is wise beyond his years, and is more secure with who he is and where he’s going in life.

It’s a sign of a man who has his act together.

An older guy who’s truly falling in love will be much kinder to and less critical about your flaws than he was when he was younger.

In fact, he’ll start seeing them as signs that you’re a real, three-dimensional human being – imperfect, but potentially could be perfect for him.

5) He makes sacrifices for you

A good way of telling if an older man is falling in love with you is when he makes bigger, more dramatic changes to his lifestyle for the sake of spending time together and being close to you. 

For example, he could give up smoking or switch to being vegan. He may even make some drastic changes to his appearance…like getting a haircut, shaving off his mustache, or growing a goatee.

Heck, he could consider moving closer to you if he lives far away, or decline a job offer that will require him to travel for the most part of a year.

What’s more, he’ll do this even if his living situation is perfect as it is.

If an older man is falling in love with you, he’d be happy to give up his freedom and comfort for the opportunity to spend more time with you and be closer to you.

6) He’s not afraid of being himself around you

An older man is focused on being mature and responsible about his emotions. He wants the best for everyone involved in the relationship, including himself.

This is the man who knows exactly what he wants and isn’t afraid to show it. He won’t apologize for himself or try to pretend like he doesn’t have needs.

If you’re seeing an older and more mature man, this could be a strong sign that he’s falling in love with you.

He won’t be embarrassed to share his feelings and ideas freely. He won’t apologize for his demands and preferences, and he won’t be afraid to reveal who he truly is, even if he’s dating someone younger like you.

He’ll be completely open about his feelings, even when they may be a little bit scary to share.

No walls or masks. No hiding behind false pretenses. No games. Just the purest form of who he really is.

7) He talks about his past than he normally would

One of those indicators that an older man is beginning to fall in love with you is that he begins talking about his past more frequently, and revealing things about himself that he wouldn’t ordinarily share.

He could talk about how he struggled with being bullied when he was younger. Or several failed business ventures that left him almost broke.

He could also start to open up about his misadventures in drugs and alcohol during college, and his former sexual partners back then.

He might also talk about how he had to work two or three jobs just to pay the rent when he first moved out on his own.

If you think about it, stories like these are preferred to be kept within the confines of our closest friends and family.

But if an older man starts telling you all about them, there’s a chance that he’s getting quite close to you. And this could mean only one thing: he may be falling in love with you.

As mentioned, most men would avoid discussing these topics, but a man who’s falling in love will want to talk about them with you since he trusts and values you enough to share very personal detail of his past experiences.

If he’s open and honest about these things, he’s looking to gain your respect, and maybe even your affection.

8) He opens up about his past relationships

An older man who’s falling in love with you might be more open to talking about his past relationships.

This might be hard for him because some men can become very guarded when it comes to experiences about failure, especially when it comes to love and intimacy.

Maybe he had a string of bad relationships in the past. Or perhaps he had an amazing string of successful relationships, but one or more of those women cheated on him.

In opening up about the good, bad, and ugly parts of his past relationships, he could be taking a chance, in the hopes that you’ll get a glimpse into his heart and soul, and eventually reciprocate.

The best part is that when he’s done talking about their exes, not only does he feel more liberated but you are now more aware of what he’s gone through in the past.

9) He introduces you to his family and friends

Dating a younger woman like yourself is often newsworthy in the world of an older man. Why? Because even if it’s sort of socially accepted, dating a younger woman is still generally taboo in today’s world.

Some people see an older man dating a younger woman as somewhat of a novelty and many times, friends, family members, and co-workers are dying to know all about you.

But to an older man in love, this doesn’t matter. He’ll be proud to tell everyone he knows about the woman he’s dating.

Sure, he might be nervous to tell his family and friends about you, but he’ll do it because you’re someone who’s become very special to him.

He’ll introduce you as soon as he can, even if it means inviting everyone over for dinner one night.

So if you find yourself already introduced or about to be acquainted with his family and friends, chances are there’s some serious chemistry going on between you two.

10) He wants to meet the important people in your life

As if meeting his family and friends aren’t enough, if an older, more mature man asks to meet the important people in your life, it’s a telling sign that he’s really into you.

Meeting family and friends is a big step for most young men. It’s sort of a rite of passage as they take their relationships to the next level, but it can be scary.

Believe me, they usually need more consideration and preparation before even setting the date.

On the other hand, older men have much more experience on their side, with many of them still being successful in their careers or businesses.

If you’re seeing someone who’s asked to be introduced to your circle of family and friends, then that may be a sign that he’s got it bad for you.

He’s confident about himself meeting your friends and family.

More importantly, he understands that there are societal comments on dating a younger woman.

So earning the trust and gaining the acceptance of those important in your life is a top priority.

11) He only has eyes for you

A young man in the dating scene tends to keep things light and fun. He also tends to keeps his eye out for other women in case he feels his current relationship isn’t working out.

An older man may still keep to this behavior, but he’s more willing to invest in his relationships.

So if you’re dating an older man and you notice that he’s only interested in spending time with you and is willing to do anything for your relationship, that’s a clear sign that he might be falling for you.

When an older man is falling in love,  he’ll have eyes for you and only you. He won’t be checking out women in the way he used to if he’s checking them out at all.

Remember those women who’d try to pick him up at parties? They all pale in comparison to you.

12) He’s been talking about the future

Age has given older men the wisdom and experience to plan their future. They map out a path for themselves without hesitating because they, more or less, know who they are.

If you’re dating an older guy, he might be expressing romantic feelings for you by talking about the future and what it would be like if you were together forever.

He says things like “when we…” or “someday I want us to….”

Now, hold on. Hear me out before you go crazy about the future and settling down.

It’s simply a natural reaction of a man who has fallen in love. He wants to know if the two of you would be able to weather the trials and tribulations of life together.

If he’s talking about you down the road, it means that he views you as someone who would be a great partner for him.

13) He asks you questions about the future.

It’s one thing for an older man to talk about the future. It’s another thing to include you in the conversation.

If he starts asking you questions about the future, it could be a sign that he wants to share in your life’s journey.

Would you want to live in the city or the country? Would you have healthy children who would have children of their own? Would you both still be physically attracted to one another after 20 years? Would you have a nice house with a white picket fence and 5 dogs and cats?

These questions don’t mean he wants to set up an elaborate future plan with you. Nor does it mean he expects you to know the answers to these questions already.

An older man might not have all of the details planned out, but know that he has thought a lot about your relationship from this point forward.

He’s simply thinking about the future and saying, “I think we would be great together.

14) He’s been more optimistic recently

An older, more mature man may not be as trusting and can be more skeptical about relationships. That’s because he’s been down this road before, been hurt enough times, or maybe he hasn’t had one in a while.

But when love is in the air, he’s more than ready to embrace it.  Life becomes more interesting and he starts seeing the positive side of everything. He becomes open to new experiences, especially those that involve the new woman in his life.

So when an older guy starts to fall in love with a younger woman, it might be an indication that he’s fallen head over heel and at last ready to move on and put the past behind him.

Does he seem more open when you’re out together? Does his smile reach all the way up into his eyes?   Is he looking at you with a glint of hope in his eyes?

These signs may not be so clear to you. But if you notice that his mood’s changed and he’s been displaying a more positive disposition, it might mean something more than just having a good day.

15) He goes out of his comfort zone for you

Older men like routine. They become creatures of habit over time, and they tend not to like when things are too different from what they’re used to.

However, when they begin dating younger women, they’re willing to do things that feel uncomfortable or out of their element.

So if you’re seeing an older man who seems to be falling for you, you can expect him to go out of his comfort zone to make sure that your life works with each other’s lives.

This could be something as simple as asking you for help with cooking dinner if he never does it at home alone.

It could also be both of you share certain interests but live in very far away places from one another. Chances are, he might be willing to move closer or fly there more often so that he can see you.

It can also mean going on an adventure together like taking surfing lessons or scuba diving lessons. 

The point is that as your connection deepens, he’d want to keep your relationship fresh and exciting to spice up your life with him. 

16) He wants to take care of you

Men, in general, are programmed to be the protector of their partners. They have this hero instinct that makes them want to take care of them.

This concept is actually introduced and discussed in the dating book, His Secret Obsession.

If you’re in a healthy relationship with an older man and he seems to show signs that he’s falling for you, he’ll do almost anything for you, including providing for you financially.

In fact, if he loves you, he will sacrifice almost everything he has to keep you safe and happy.

From buying you expensive gifts and taking you out to nice dinners to making sure no man ever touches you.

One more thing: you may think that men think a woman’s place is in the home.

That’s not true. A woman’s place is in the world.

And if an older man has fallen in love with you, he’ll make sure that you’re safe in it.

17) He is more romantic towards you

A young man in love is mostly about dating and sex. He’s more likely to focus on the physical attributes of women, be interested in going out on dates, and spending a lot of time together than anything else.

Understandably so, when it comes to sex and giving pleasure, he tends to be more focused on satisfying his own pleasure.

An older man, on the other hand, typically has had more relationships under his belt, so he knows how important it is to treat the woman he loves with romance.

So if you’re dating an older man who seems to fall in love with you, he’ll find every way possible to make you feel loved, appreciated, and respected wholeheartedly.

He’ll open doors for you, write you a love letter, or even cook you dinner for no reason at all.

He won’t be as focused on sex as a younger man, but when the opportunity arises, he’ll think not only about his own pleasure but also yours.

If an older man is falling in love with you, he’ll do something romantic for you, even if it’s silly, just to show you how much he cares.

18) He loves everything about your lifestyle choices

If an older man is falling for you, he’ll respect every decision you make in life. He won’t try to change your ways or force you to conform to his.

He’ll accept you just the way you are.

Your man will encourage your love of extreme sports and quirky fashion. Heck, he’ll even support your smoking and drinking habits.

He’ll never judge you for what you enjoy doing.

To be honest, it takes real guts and dedication from an older man when it comes to showing signs that he’s ready to commit long-term.

That’s because he understands that the last thing you’ll want is a controlling partner who can’t respect personal boundaries.

He’ll embrace the life choices that make you happy and always give his support when it comes to making big decisions down the line.

19) He introduces you as “the love of my life”

If an older man is falling for a younger woman by calling you “the love of his life,” then this guy definitely knows what it means to fall head-over-heels for someone special.

Besides being loaded with wisdom and experience, an older man has two very important assets that a younger man simply doesn’t possess.


He has enough time to really get to know you.

What’s more, he’s not going to pressure you into any hasty decision, especially about your relationship.

A younger man might decide he wants to be with you after two dates. But an older man will not make this judgment in a flash.

He’ll take his time and get to know you on a deep level. This will allow him to separate the real from the phony, and the superficial from the meaningful.

But that’s not all.

Life Experiences

An older man understands that life deals out pain and unfairness to everyone, rich or poor, famous or infamous. His life experiences will admit to that.

And you know he’s fallen hard for you if he’ll see to it that you understand this.

He won’t try to fix you when things are tough, nor push you to get you to achieve your goals.

Instead, he’ll help you deal with the problem in a way that is least painful for you. And he’ll simply help you find a path that is worthy of you.

If an older man is he’ll allow you to blossom into the person you were meant to be without getting in your way.

It’s a big thing

Calling you the “love of his life” is probably a very big thing for an older man.

It’s not something you hear from younger guys either, because they’re just not emotionally mature enough to handle it.

An older man knows what this phrase means and he won’t say it unless he truly feels it in his heart.

I mentioned this fascinating concept earlier: the hero instinct. When a man’s inner hero is triggered, he’s more likely to form a deep meaningful connection with someone they genuinely like, rather than just be in the relationship for the sake of not being alone.

Just by knowing the right things to say to him, you’ll open a part of him that no woman has ever reached before.

And the easiest way to do so is by watching this free video by James Bauer. In it, he’ll reveal simple phrases and texts you can use to make your man truly yours. 

Here’s a link to the excellent video again.

He makes you feel like you’re home with him

You’ve heard the classing saying, “Home is where the heart is.”

Well, it’s not every day that you find the perfect person for you. And it’s definitely not easy, too.

So when an older man is falling in love with you, he’ll make sure to do what he can to make you feel right at home with him.

What does that mean?

He’ll let you know in his own way that you fit perfectly into his life. He won’t try to change you or convince you that you should be someone else.

He will want to be your rock, protector, and champion. He will want to be the one you’ll go to when things get tough.

This is the kind that only comes from experience and knowing what it means to be truly loved.

When you’re with this man, you don’t have to pretend to be someone else or to prove anything to anyone. He won’t ask anything you won’t be willing to give.

Take a chance

Falling in love is a beautiful thing. There’s nothing quite like it and no one can ever tell you exactly how to do so or when to recognize the signs that it’s happening.

When an older man is falling in love with you, he’ll be sure to show you.

In fact, he’ll probably go out of his way to do so. You’ll know the signs just like you know the signs when someone is smitten by you.

Just pay attention. No matter how subtle, the signs are there if you’re open enough to see them.

He’ll give you a glimpse into his innermost feelings and offer you a window into a part of himself that’s often hidden from everyone else.

He’ll let you know that you’re the woman he wants to be with.

Now, this is important:

Remember, love doesn’t have an age. It’s one of the few feelings that knows no bounds.

He may be 10 or 20 years older than you but he has more wisdom that comes with age and experience. He will have lived a rich, full life and he will have a lot to share compared to other men half his age.

You might be wondering that an older man is just after one thing: your youth.

That couldn’t be further from the truth.

He has no problem at all with the fact that you’re 10 or 20 years his junior. In his mind, you’re the same age he was when he fell in love with you.

And the beautiful part about this is, that’s the way you’ll always be in his eyes.

You’ll learn that as you spend more time in your relationship, and you’ll grow from just being loved by him to being loved for who you are.

Who knows, he very well could potentially be the man you’ll spend the rest of your life with.

I touched on the hero instinct earlier – it’s the perfect remedy for the situation you’re facing. 


Because once a man’s hero instinct is triggered, he’ll only have eyes for you. You’ll reach a part of him that no woman has ever managed to reach before. 

And in return, he’ll be compelled to commit to you and love you like he’s never loved another woman. 

So if you’re ready to take that plunge and reach new heights in your relationship, make sure to check out relationship expert James Bauer’s invaluable advice.

Click here to watch the excellent free video.

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