10 signs an emotionally unavailable woman is in love with you

Falling in love has got to be one of the greatest things you can experience in life. However, it’s not always easy. Most of the time, falling in love can be complicated – especially if the person you fall in love with is an emotionally unavailable woman!

They’re the type of women who do not like to commit or put a label on a relationship. They avoid emotional intimacy as well as vulnerability.

Now, since you’re here, I’d assume that you’re currently experiencing this in your life. Perhaps you’re trying to figure out if she really has feelings for you or is just leading you on.

If that’s the case, you’ve come to the right place. In this article, we’ll discuss ten (10) signs that an emotionally unavailable woman is in love with you despite not telling you.

1) She sends mixed signals

When a woman is emotionally unavailable, they tend to detach and avoid potential partners. But when she falls in love, they give mixed signals.

You know the type… One minute, you think she likes you, the next time, she’ll be avoiding you. You’ll notice her words and actions contradict each other.

She may seem hot and cold – and this can be frustrating and confusing for anyone! But it’s a sign she’s struggling with her feelings.

So what do you do? Give her space and time to sort out her emotions, and in this process, try to communicate your own needs and boundaries.

2) She gets defensive

Another sign that an emotionally unavailable woman is in love with you is when she gets defensive. If you bring up the topic of love or commitment, she will deny it or shut down.

This is because emotional unavailability often stems from a fear of intimacy and vulnerability. But despite her use of numerous defense mechanisms, you’ll notice a hint of care and affection in her actions.

So, the next time you try to approach the topic of having a possible relationship, be careful. Maybe try to be a little sensitive. The last thing she’d want to feel is pressure from you.

With time and patience, she may become more comfortable discussing her feelings.

3) She seeks your attention

Despite their emotional barriers, they still crave attention and affection. They may also become easily irritated when all of a sudden you get busy and cannot spend as much time with them as you did in the past.

If she’s constantly seeking your attention and approval, it could be a sign that she is in love with you. She may send flirty texts, try to make plans with you, or simply want to spend time with you.

But if you’re still unsure, pay attention to how much time and energy she’s investing in your relationship.

If she’s making an effort to spend time with you and get to know you better, it could be a sign that she is starting to let her guard down.

4) She guilt-trips you

One of the less positive signs that an emotionally unavailable woman is in love with you is when she guilt-trips you.

She could constantly try to make you feel bad about yourself. She’ll not own up to her mistakes. Instead, she’ll figure out a way to blame you for it. If you argue with her, she will accuse you of oppressing her.

Why is she acting like this, you ask? She may have experienced heartbreak in a prior relationship, so she’s taking precautions to prevent it from happening again.

She may also use passive-aggressive behavior or emotional manipulation to try to get what she wants. This is often a sign that she is struggling with her own feelings and is unsure how to express them.

If you notice this behavior from her, let her know that you respect her feelings but that you’ll not tolerate emotional manipulation. With clear boundaries and open communication, you may be able to help her work through her emotions and express her love in a healthier way.

5) She denies it, but her actions were confirmed by a professional

While this article will shed light on the main signs she’s in love with you, it can be helpful to speak to a relationship coach about your situation.

With a professional relationship coach, you can get advice tailored to your unique situation…

Relationship Hero is a popular site where highly trained relationship coaches help people work through complex relationship issues, like figuring out a partner’s intentions and behavior. Their popularity boils down to how skilled their coaches are. 

Why am I so confident that they can help you?

Well, after recently experiencing a tough patch in my own relationship, I reached out to them for help. From the moment I got in touch, I was given genuine, helpful advice, and was finally able to see my relationship issues with real clarity.

I was blown away by how kind and empathetic my coach was. 

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6) She may show signs of jealousy or possessiveness

This is another unpleasant trait of someone who’s emotionally unavailable – when they can’t express their affection or love on a more positive note, they tend to act out by showing jealousy or possessiveness.

It’s flattering at first, sure. Maybe even slightly reassuring. But in the long run, it’s not ideal. This can be a tricky situation to navigate because this behavior often stems from a fear of losing control and vulnerability.

It also might have something to do with her past. Remember, there are root causes to this… Maybe a past boyfriend cheated on her before, or maybe a parent betrayed their family. Who knows, right?

But if her behavior isn’t “adorable” anymore, and it’s bothering or troubling you, let her know. Tell her that you also need your own space and independence.

Hopefully, it’ll be a wake-up call for her to clear the air, so she can also work through her fears and hesitation.

7) She tries to show her affection in small gestures

But that’s the deal with women like this – you don’t know what kind of mood you’re getting. Because unlike other women who can easily express their love, you would have to figure out what her actions really mean before you can be sure that she’s in love with you.

Now, this can get exhausting, mainly if you express your feelings for her without hesitation. But in her own little way, she’ll be cryptic about her love for you.

This could mean sending you a thoughtful text message, making you a cup of coffee in the morning, or simply giving you a warm hug.

These small gestures may not be as grand or romantic as you’d like, but they are a sign that she’s starting to let her guard down and express her feelings in her own way.

8) She tries to avoid conflict

Aside from having a hard time opening up, they often struggle with conflict and confrontation. So if she has feelings for you, she may try to avoid uncomfortable or difficult conversations.

This can be frustrating and challenging, but it’s also a sign that she’s starting to trust and value your relationship – take it as a protective mechanism – she doesn’t want to cause any trouble to an already unpredictable relationship.

It’s not that she’s dodging you or avoiding you. She just doesn’t want to destroy what you have. Remember, in her mind, the things between you two are volatile, so if there’s a way to preserve the status quo, she’ll take it.

9) She may become more vulnerable and share personal details about her life

Ah, yes, vulnerability. This quality gets so much negativity from some people. I know how difficult it can be to share personal details about my life and emotions.

Even if I already trust you, there would still be something that’s going to hold me back. But if I’m in love with someone, I may start to become more vulnerable and open up about my feelings.

And for someone who’s emotionally unavailable, best believe that she’ll give you a glimpse into her heart and will let you see a side of her you don’t often see.

However, she only does so for a short amount of time. She’ll probably pull back in trying to express her feelings to avoid future heartbreak.

10) She will try to compromise

And connected to her issues with vulnerability and avoiding conflict, she will try to meet you halfway. Yes, an attempt at diplomacy.

When things are heated between the two of you, she’ll be willing to make some adjustments. People who are emotionally unavailable often have the tendency to take control and not really pay that much attention to their partner’s emotions and needs.

So if you see her caring and trying to accommodate your feelings, well, you may matter more to her more than she lets you know.

Final thoughts

Trying to figure out how someone feels about you is not easy. Especially if that someone always uses excuses to try to avoid proper communication and confrontation.

This could get exhausting. But do remember that feelings can be really overwhelming for people in general, imagine if it happens to someone who’s still working through a lot of issues.

While I don’t condone their mixed signals or their closed-off, careless tendencies, there are a number of reasons why they do it.

So if you ever find yourself in this roller coaster situation, be ready. It’s really not for the faint of heart. And if it comes to a point where the situation is already damaging your mental health…

Keep in mind that YOU get to decide what you do about your feelings.

At the end of the day, you get to decide whether you stay and wait or accept and leave.