Married men fall in love with single women every day.
But it’s no secret that sometimes they just want to play around.
Is the married guy in your life truly interested in you on a deep level or just enjoying some extracurricular activities?
I’m here to help you figure out if he’s just after a fling or whether he wants something real and long-term.
15 signs a married man is in love with a single woman
1) His schedule opens up for you
One of the top signs a married man is in love with a single woman is that his schedule opens up for you as if by magic.
As a married man with a career, he’s likely quite busy – and that’s even more true if he has kids.
But when you find that he’s making time for you and opening his schedule up whenever possible then it’s a real sign that there’s more than an infatuation going on.
If it was just sex or he was only mildly fond of you, he likely wouldn’t be going out of his way to visit you on a Thursday evening or early on Saturday morning.
This is the behavior of a man in love.
2) His body language tells the truth
Body language is like a decoder that almost always works.
There are ways that men try to act more confident physically, but sooner or later you will see the truth shine through in how they move and orient their body.
The key is to pay attention to the subtle signs that he shows which come through in the way he stands, touches you, walks and fidgets.
In particular, look out for this married man to try to close the distance between the two of you.
You should also look for classic clues like him often orienting his body towards you.
“A married man who likes you more than a friend will find ways to be closer to you physically. He may tilt his head sideways as he thinks about what you’re saying or find reasons to make physical contact, such as touching your hand and bumping your shoulder,” writes Sarah Khan.
“He may touch you on the back when he’s next to you, and he will likely always be facing you with his feet pointed towards you when engaged in the conversation.”
3) He’s charming as hell
Married men that I’ve met are usually pretty worn down and frazzled.
I’m not ragging on marriage by any means and it can be an amazing thing for some folks, but my point is that a guy who’s hitched can be really drained of energy.
That’s why you should look out for a married man who is charming as hell when he’s around you.
He could just be a classic Cassanova, but at the same time, it’s more likely that he’s putting on a bit of a show with you.
Does he blush a little when you laugh at his jokes and try his best to help you, cozy up to you, and charm your socks off?
He’s probably doing more than just trying to get you out of your jeans.
He could be trying to get into your heart.
4) He opens up about his marriage problems
One of the most telling signs a married man is in love with a single woman is that he tells her about his marriage issues.
These aren’t exactly the kind of subjects you’re going to chat with a casual stranger about.
And if he gets deep into the emotional baggage and all the rest of it then there’s also a good chance he’s falling for you.
If he just wanted a roll in the hay, why bother opening up to you about his years of living with another woman and the way it’s affecting him emotionally?
This kind of opening up usually means something more than just idle chit-chat.
“If a married man is falling in love with you and especially if he wants to act on it, he is very well aware that his feelings are not something he should be proud of. So, he will do whatever is in his power to justify himself,” explains relationship expert Carlos Cavallo.
“Therefore, he will probably talk to you about his marriage. And let’s face it – married life is hard for a lot of people. He will open up to you about all the alleged problems he’s been having with his wife for years.”
5) His eye contact is intense
Eye contact can speak volumes.
Sometimes it’s just burning sexual desire, however.
So what I want to emphasize here is to think about this in the right way.
One of the biggest signs a married man is in love with a single woman is that he makes intense eye contact even when he’s already “got” her.
In other words, even if you’re already having an affair and he’s quite confident he’s got your interest, he still makes significant eye contact with you.
“Whether he catches your eye with a lingering glance, or stares right at you, both may be signs he’s interested; even more so if he shoots you a coy smile as an accompaniment,” writes Michelle Stevens.
The married man who makes consistent and intense eye contact with you is often aiming at something deeper.
When he’s just cruising by for a fling he’ll often skimp on the eye contact.
6) He talks about the future with you
One of the biggest signs a married man is in love with a single woman is when he jokes or talks about the future together with her.
If your married man is discussing his future plans or yours then he’s probably falling for you more than a little.
If you think about it, he really should be thinking about the future with his wife and family, not with you.
But even if he’s just discussing it in general as an idea or a dream, that’s still significant.
Marriage has significant bonds that aren’t easy to break.
But the fact that he’s even remotely speculating about what the future might hold in a way that doesn’t talk about his wife means he’s likely got some serious feelings for you.
7) He’s in touch with you often
Similar to how a married man who’s into you will open up time in his schedule, he will also respond to your calls and texts.
If you’re on social media he’ll be active there as much as possible.
There are natural times when he’ll be busy with family or work too much to respond right away, but you’ll be able to clearly tell that he’s putting in a real effort to get back to you as soon as he can.
You’ll be able to tell that he’s in touch with you as often as he can be and that it’s not just a convenient “arrangement” for him.
This is the difference between a throwaway affair and a fling that can turn into real love.
The difference is that he wants to spend his free time with you even when he’s tired or overwhelmed.
Because you make his world a brighter place.
8) He goes the extra mile for you
There’s a deep-seated part of men that want to look after and impress the woman they love.
This isn’t in a gold star “yay me” type of way, it’s more profound than that.
This goes all the way back to the cavemen and all that good stuff.
Relationship author and psychologist James Bauer calls it “the hero instinct.”
Other relationship experts have explored this as well, and they essentially note that when he truly loves you he wants to go the extra mile for you.
“If he’s in love with you, he will want to be your personal hero; a person who is always there for you, your confidante, and your best friend. You will notice his hero instinct in both his text messages and the way he acts in person,” writes Selma June.
9) Your values and beliefs matter to him
One of the truest signs a married man is in love with a single woman is that he cares about her beliefs and values.
When a married guy truly listens to you and wants to know about what you care about and what drives you then he’s thinking of you as potentially more than an affair partner.
He’s thinking of you as his new partner, period.
If you disagree on important items he’ll do his best to be understanding and gracious. It will be easy to tell that he doesn’t want to lose you and wants to try to see things from your point of view.
If you have directly clashing plans or priorities to him you’ll be able to tell it upsets him and he wants to understand why and see if there’s a way he can fit around it or reach an understanding with you.
10) He makes plans to leave his wife
This is one of the most important of all the signs a married man is in love with a single woman:
He makes plans to leave his wife.
And when I say plans, I mean plans.
It’s easy for a married guy who’s just looking to string you along to make all sorts of vague promises and talk about his marriage in a negative way.
He may hint or even say he’s going to leave his wife but that day never seems to materialize…
This is different:
When he’s truly falling for you he actually means it. We’re talking logistics and what day he should call the damn moving truck. Bet on it.
11) He plays ‘what if’ with you
One of the other very notable signs a married man is in love with a single woman is that he plays “what if” with you.
What if comes in two main forms:
“What if” the past had been different and he’d ended up with you from the start and married you instead years ago…
“What if” the future could be different and you could really be together and build something that lasts…
These two what-ifs can be far more than pillow talk.
It all depends on his intention and his speaking skills. Some guys are very smooth talkers who are pros at roping a woman in as part of their emotional games.
Other guys who are a bit shyer or awkward find it harder to talk and only say this kind of thing when they really mean it.
12) He gets jealous of other guys
It’s a standard fact that guys get a little jealous when someone is around the woman they like.
One of the main signs a married man is in love with a single woman is that he’s very interested in your dating life and gets a bit jealous of guys hitting on you.
If he’s a mature and decent man this won’t always be super apparent.
He can be good at cloaking it or laughing it off. But look for that twitch of annoyance or tension when an attractive man is close to you or talking to you.
“He’ll not like the idea of you getting too friendly with other guys. If he sees someone talking or flirting with you, he’ll get jealous,” writes Rachael Pace.
This means that he’s not just passing time with you or in it for some physical or distractive reasons.
He’s in it for you, and he doesn’t want to see another guy come to snatch away the treasure that he’s found. (You’re the treasure).
13) He tells his wife about you
Clearly, if he has told his wife about you then this has transitioned out of being “just an affair.”
Getting caught cheating is one thing.
Telling his wife voluntarily that he’s interested in another woman is something else entirely.
It’s actually one of the top signs a married man is in love with a single woman.
Because apart from personal ethics there’s just no advantage in him telling his wife about you unless he’s serious about starting something with you that’s going to last.
14) He introduces you to his friends
This can be a tricky one because if his friends also know his wife then he’s not going to do this unless he already decided to leave her.
Another option is that they may be close friends who don’t know his wife who he trusts to keep this relationship under wraps.
He introduces you because when a married man is falling in love he wants his friends and those close to him to know. He wants their assessment about you as well.
If this was just a hookup he wouldn’t much care about introducing you to those he cares about.
But when it’s more suddenly he gets a lot more interested in including you in his social life as much as possible.
15) He cares about your love life
When a married man wants some fun and maybe a distraction he sees you when he can and enjoys your company.
But one of the clearest signs a married man is in love with a single woman is that he cares about her love life and wants to know more.
He’s no passive observer or occasional male talent showing up to rock her world.
He’s an interested party who wants to enquire more about the rules of long-term romance.
If you’re a single woman who’s into a married guy then watch out for this sign.
If he’s asking about who else you’re seeing or trying to get clues about how you feel about him then there’s a good chance that Cupid’s nailed him.
Why do married men fall in love with someone else?
The reasons married men fall in love with someone else vary with each man.
For one reason or another, it’s clear they’re not getting their needs met in their marriage.
Sometimes this is on a physical level and the spark of sexual desire has died out. Other times the sex is fine and they’re just not feeling appreciated or having emotional problems with their wife.
In some situations, it’s a bit of both.
But no matter the reason, it can either be a matter of him shaking off stress and using you to work through his own selfish issues…
Or the start of something new and real together.
Is this married man worth your time?
If this guy is checking off each box on the list above then he’s worth your time.
There are no guarantees with love, especially with a married man.
You could try pulling away and seeing how he reacts.
But on the other hand, they do say that fortune favors the bold (was that the Romans or the Greeks? Well…it’s true).
If you’re noticing that he’s displaying these classic signs of falling in love then it’s worth thinking about whether this could be the real deal.
The cynics will tell you that being the other woman is always a losing game.
But all I’ll say is that you have to take a risk to win the reward.
Best of luck out there.
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