13 signs a married man is fighting his feelings for you

We sometimes include products we think are useful for our readers. If you buy through links on this page, we may earn a small commission. Read our affiliate disclosure.

When it comes to married men, it can be tricky to figure out where they stand emotionally.

Did they only see you as an affair? Are they actually catching feelings? Or are they completely loyal to their wife and just seemed interested?

Luckily, a man can’t hide it easily when he is fighting his feelings for you, and here are some signs that will give him away:

1) He seems really interested but then pulls back

If he is fighting his feelings for you, he is likely to be interested in you at first.

However, he will then start to pull back and distance himself after he realizes his feelings for you are growing.

This will be especially true if you two are spending time alone. If he is interested in you but fighting his feelings, he will be less likely to want to spend lots of time alone with you.

You will notice this the most at the beginning of the relationship.

If you two are dating and he is interested in you, he will likely want to spend lots of time alone with you.

However, as he starts to realize his feelings for you are growing, he will start to pull back. He may even start to avoid spending time alone with you.

This brings me to my next point:

2) He becomes distant

If a married man is fighting his feelings for you, he will likely become distant.

He may start to be less interested in the relationship, and he may even start to pull away from you.

If you notice that he has stopped initiating contact, or he is just not as available anymore, he may be fighting his feelings for you. He may even start to spend less time with you in general.

If he is interested in you but fighting his feelings, he may be trying to put extra space between you two because he is not sure about his feelings.

This will be visible in his behavior as well:

3) He is not consistent in his behavior

A man who is fighting his feelings for you will likely be inconsistent in his behavior.

This is because he will be unsure about his feelings for you, and this will cause him to be inconsistent in his actions.

You may find he does not call when he previously said he would. You may also notice him canceling plans last minute.

He may also not be as considerate of you as he was previously.

If you notice that his actions don’t seem to match up with the man you first met, he may be fighting his feelings for you.

Sometimes, he might be confusing, though:

4) He is majorly jealous even though you’re not together

If a man is fighting his feelings for you, he may become jealous even though you are not together.

He may even be jealous of other men you are around.

Jealousy is a huge sign that a man is fighting his feelings for you because it is a sign that he is not comfortable with you being involved with other men.

Jealousy can also be a sign of insecurity. If you notice that a married man is jealous of other men even though he is not with you, he may be fighting his feelings for you.

5) He is not clear about what he wants from this relationship

If a man is fighting his feelings for you, he may not be clear about what he wants from this relationship.

You may notice that he is not making plans to see you, he may not be asking you out, and he may not even be sure if he wants you in his life.

He may just seem distant and uninterested in the future of this relationship.

If a man is interested in you but fighting his feelings, he will likely not be clear about what he wants from this relationship because he is trying to protect his feelings.

He will never want to talk about the relationship, and often he might even shut down, which is my next point:

6) He shuts down a lot, especially when you connect more

A man who is fighting his feelings for you will likely shut down a lot when you connect more.

This is because you are triggering his feelings, and he is not sure how to deal with them.

You may notice that he just stops talking. He may even leave the room or end the conversation abruptly when you two are connecting more.

He may also seem like he is somewhere else. He may look like he is not present in the conversation or like he is thinking about something else.

If a man is interested in you but fighting his feelings, he will likely shut down a lot when you two connect more because you are triggering his feelings and that scares him.

Luckily, there is one aspect of his feelings he can’t hide:

7) His body language gives his true feelings away

The way a man holds his body can actually tell you a lot about how he is feeling.

You may notice that a man who is fighting his feelings for you will unconsciously put his hands in his pockets, or he may cross his arms as if he is closing himself off.

You may also notice that he will slouch or sit with his legs open in a defensive position.

If you notice a man closing off his body or putting his hands in his pockets, he may be fighting his feelings for you.

But also, you will notice him mirroring your body language because he does like you a lot.

8) When you connect more, he starts to talk about his wife

If a man is fighting his feelings for you, he may start to tell you more about his wife.

He may start asking you questions about your relationship and your past relationships. He may want to talk about his kids, his wife, and how great she is.

He may also want to talk about how much he loves his wife.

If a man is interested in you but fighting his feelings, he may start to talk about his wife because you are triggering his feelings and he starts to feel guilty.

He is likely subconsciously trying to protect his heart by focusing on his wife.

9) The chemistry is there, but he is hesitant

A man who is fighting his feelings for you may have chemistry with you but be hesitant about it.

This can be seen in the way he holds himself around you or the decisions he makes in your relationship.

If he is hesitant about the relationship, you may notice that he is not as consistent.

He may not initiate contact as often, or he may not make plans with you. You may also notice that he is not as affectionate and that he is more hesitant with his touch.

But the hesitancy is not the only thing you’ll notice:

10) He seems tense around you

If a man is fighting his feelings for you, he may be tense around you or take on a more serious persona.

He may also not be as relaxed or playful as he was when you first met him.

If you notice that a man is tense around you, he may be fighting his feelings for you because he is not sure how he feels about you.

11) He seems sincere, even though he is inconsistent

Another sign that a man is fighting his feelings for you is that he may be sincere and he seems like he cares about you.

When you are around, you may notice that he is polite, asks about your day, and seems generally interested in you.

But even though he is being sincere, his actions are inconsistent because they don’t match up all the time

If a man is fighting his feelings for you, this can be confusing because it seems like everything should be great but the consistency isn’t there because he is still torn.

12) He asks you personal questions

You will notice that a man is secretly into you when he is genuinely interested in getting to know you.

If he is asking you questions and genuinely wants to get to know you as a person, this is a sign that he may be fighting his feelings for you.

If a man isn’t interested in your life, he likely has no feelings for you.

13) Sometimes he opens up and shares things with you

A prime sign that a man is fighting his feelings for you is that he is open to sharing things with you.

This is because he may be trying to get to know you and open up about his life.

If a man seems interested in sharing things with you, this is a big sign.

You see, he might be really into you, but then a part of him sometimes still holds back.

Every now and then, his real self will come out, though, and he’ll share something with you.

Final thoughts – what should you do?

If a married man is fighting his feelings for you, it is up to you to decide what to do with that information.

Do you want to engage in this relationship, or would you rather find someone who is actually available?

In the end, you need to decide, because there is always a chance he will change his mind and stay with his wife and family.

If you want to risk your heart, then that’s okay, but you need to be aware that he is not choosing you 100% right now.

Respect yourself enough to know when to walk away!

Can a relationship coach help you too?

If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.

I know this from personal experience…

A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.

If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.

In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.

I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.

Click here to get started.

The above link will give you $50 off your first session - an exclusive offer for Love Connection readers.