You work with a married man, and the sparks have been flying since your first day at work.
There is just something about this person that makes you smile and laugh and feel like you’re in good company on a daily basis.
But there’s also intangibility to the relationship that makes it hard to pinpoint exactly what it is he likes about you.
Here are 15 signs he likes you but is hiding it!
1) He smiles when you walk into the room
This is a good and bad sign. Yes, it’s good because he is genuinely happy to see you (unlike the smug married man who has been so blindsided by your appearance that he only grunts a greeting and does not really register your existence).
But it’s also a bad sign because he’s doing his best not to laugh and smile at least as much as you do.
It is obvious that there is something more going on there than simply being polite and nice.
Your souls have recognized each other, and it is pretty impossible to ignore this good feeling that you share when you are close to each other.
However, keep in mind that this is a slippery slope.
Be careful how you respond to his behavior, or you may end up completely confused or hurt.
2) You see him staring at you from across the office
He was a wallflower before you came along, but now that you are around all the time, he can’t keep his eyes off of you.
He is afraid to be caught staring, and when he sees that his coworkers are looking at him, he quickly looks away as though nothing has happened.
You can see him fighting the urge to stare at you as you stare at him, but he can tell that you both want more.
He is probably trying to hide his feelings, but that’s an impossible task with the two of you together.
You’re probably both too afraid to let it go, and you can’t take your eyes off of each other. It’s nice to be noticed and admired, that is for sure.
Here is the scary part – the fact that he is married will give you a knot in the stomach that you won’t be able to get rid of so easily.
3) He compliments your work, but never your appearance or personality
When you are in his presence, he seems to be very interested in what you’re saying, and he wants to support you.
This is a very good sign because it is obvious that he considers you intelligent and capable.
He does not let your appearance or your personality distract him from being interested in what you have to say.
He is probably just as interested in your mind as he is in your body!
But when it comes to this complicated relationship, there is something you can do to feel better.
And it’s as simple as taking a breath.
When I was struggling the most in life, I was introduced to an incredible free breathwork video created by the shaman, Rudá Iandê.
With a focus on dissolving stress and boosting inner peace, it was hard to resist giving it a go.
But with the turbulence of emotions I was facing and the pain of being in love with a married man, I didn’t have high hopes. I had little self-esteem and confidence? Out of the window.
So what made this breathwork video so effective?
Well, it comes down to the man behind it all. Rudá created these unique flows using a combination of ancient shamanic techniques and healing breathwork sequences.
He’s spent years developing them to help people find their inner peace.
So, if you feel a disconnect with yourself due to your involvement with a married colleague, I’d recommend checking out Rudá’s free breathwork video.
He’ll give you the tools to start injecting peace and confidence back into your life, from the very first breathwork exercise.
4) He always makes plans with you on the weekends and never with his wife
This could be pretty tricky, and you can be sure that it can cause quite serious problems.
Your colleague may not even be aware of just how badly he can impact both of you and is probably driven by emotions and hormones.
He probably does not consider the consequences of his actions and is following his spontaneous emotions in order to make him happy.
This is where you should put your foot down and prevent further complications by avoiding contact as much as possible.
If you do not want to become the other woman, you should be aware that trying to deal with it can be very complicated.
Simply avoid being around him as much as possible and try to limit contact during the week at work.
5) He stands up when you walk into the room and holds the door for you
This is both a good and bad sign.
Good because he is treating you like a lady, bad because he does not want anyone to know how much he really likes you.
He might be using the opportunity to sneak a kiss or squeeze your hand when no one is looking.
If he’s married, then this could spell trouble for both of you, and someone may get hurt in the end.
The truth is, his behavior won’t go unnoticed, and people will probably start to talk sooner or later.
Be prepared that the story will spread around the office like wildfire.
The only thing he can do is to keep his feelings for you a secret because he knows that there isn’t much else he can do about it.
6) You can tell by his body language that he wants to know you better but is scared of what his wife could do
In essence, if he has admitted to himself that he has certain feelings for you, he is probably struggling to accept the fact that he is going down a very dangerous road.
He probably does not want to hurt his wife and make her feel bad. But at the same time, he cannot keep his emotions inside anymore.
There is just too much chemistry between you two for him to ignore it!
No matter what you do, it is not going to be easy for either of you.
Be honest with yourself and think about what you want in life.
What if you could change the way you approach relationships for good?
What if you could find the type of love you know you deserve?
Well, to achieve this, you’ve first got to reconstruct your reality and the relationship you have with yourself. Only then will your love life stand a chance of succeeding.
I learned this (and much more) from the world-renowned shaman Rudá Iandé. In this excellent free video, Rudá explains how you can lift the mental chains and get back to the core of your being.
A word of caution – Rudá isn’t your typical shaman.
He’s not going to tell you that everything will be alright. Nor will he sprout meaningless positivity solely aimed at comforting you.
Instead, he’s going to force you to look inwards. You’re going to face the real you and get to know that person much better.
It’s a powerful approach, but one that works, especially if you want to revolutionize your relationships with others.
If you think you’re up for the challenge, if you’re ready to find the love you deserve, there’s no better time to start than today.
7) He talks about his marriage problems but never mentions any specific things that are wrong
The truth is all the married men looking for a relationship outside their marriage talk badly about their married life.
Your male colleague might not have specific reasons for wanting to leave his wife, but he does complain about his marriage a lot, and nothing makes him happy anymore.
He wants a change in his life, but he is not sure what that change should be.
He may be thinking about starting a life with you, so he can finally feel happy and fulfilled again.
Depending on your standpoint, make sure you tell him what you expect of him and what he can expect of you.
The thing is, your emotions will probably ignite soon, making it harder for you to make rational decisions, and you might not know what you’re doing.
8) He watches you every chance he gets but always looks like something is up when you look back
Here’s the deal- if he watches you often, he is probably interested in you, but he is trying not to be too obvious.
Just keep in mind that this is a tricky game, and one wrong move can ruin everything.
This is usually the early phase of falling in love with someone.
The period when both people are trying to get to know each other better and see whether they have a future together can be fun.
Give yourself the chance to think things through and see what the best approach would be.
If he watches you a lot, he might be attracted to you, but if it is the other way round and you like him, then there is a good chance that you can use this opportunity to make an impression on him.
9) He touches you often
To show his interest, he might reach out and touch your hair while he is talking to you.
He might grab your hand when you walk together or even just look at your figure up close.
But beware, if he starts hugging you often, that could easily lead to a kiss or maybe even something more.
There is no better aphrodisiac than being genuinely wanted by a person we are in love with, so be careful if you don’t want to get into something you would regret.
Again, this can be easily avoided by limiting contact and avoiding being in the same room unless it is absolutely necessary.
You can even ask a coworker you can trust to be your wingman and help you out when you are not sure what to do or how to handle a situation.
10) He buys gifts for you
Obviously, if he starts buying things that he absolutely doesn’t have to buy for you is a clear sign of having emotions that are not friendly but can lead to something more.
He brings you flowers, candies, or little presents that show his appreciation to you.
This could be a sign he is trying to get closer to you and show his gratitude for the things that you do for him, but also to see if you would consider seeing him outside of work.
He might also just want to buy your affection, so be careful not to get too carried away, especially if you are not ready to get into a relationship with him.
Like I have said, he might be buying you affection and trying to get closer to you, but don’t ignore the fact that it could also be a way for him to control or manipulate you.
11) You notice that lately, you work together often
If you notice that you have been working together often, then this is probably not a coincidence.
He may have asked for you to be put on his team, or he may have let you know that the boss wanted him to work with the best people out there.
The quality of your work is probably one of the reasons why he finds himself so attracted to you and why he wants to spend more time with you, but there is probably a lot more behind it.
This probably means he is planning to make a move on you, which could be a good sign if you want something more.
There are only two problems with this: first of all, you may not be ready to start a relationship with him, but second, he might try to use the fact that he works together with you as an excuse or reason for getting closer to you.
It is important that if this is the case that you don’t agree to anything or take his invitations for granted.
12) He texts you even when you are not together
He might not be able to stop himself from texting you every time he’s on his phone.
This can happen out of curiosity, but also because he’s genuinely interested in you.
However, if he texts you when he is not with his wife and starts telling you how wonderful you are, that could be a bad sign to keep an eye out for if you are not ready to start something you are not sure you are ready for.
The situation can get pretty complicated because you work together, so everything that happens between the two of you will probably be monitored closely.
13) He asks you to hang out
At first, he might not have mentioned hanging out as much as he does now.
He probably invited you to dinner once, and even though it was a nice gesture, you might have declined it.
The thing is that if he keeps inviting you to dinner, the chances are that he sees you as someone who could be part of his future plans.
If there is no reason for him to be around you so much that would allow him to build up your relationship, then this might mean he has other intentions.
You can always tell him that you are busy or that you are not comfortable being around him right now.
If he thinks he has reason to keep you at the top of his list, then this could be a good sign if you are actually interested in pursuing a relationship with him.
14) He takes you on business trips
Working with a male colleague who shows initiative or gives you mixed signals will probably lead to spending lots of time in your office.
At one point, once the energy you share starts heating up, he will probably start being a little bit bolder and organize business trips even where there is no real need for you to be there.
It can be his way to see how you will behave around him and if you are ready to cross the line.
It is important that you remember that this can be a very subtle way of trying to get close to you, and there are no guarantees that he won’t try something new with you once he gets more comfortable.
If he starts being flirty with you, it means that he is ready to be more open about his intentions.
Take a close look at the occasions he behaves like this.
If he does this only around other people, then it could also be an indication that things are not quite as serious as they seem.
On the other hand, if he acts like nothing is going on when people are around, but gets quite open when you are alone, then you should know that he is probably just trying to start an affair with you without jeopardizing his family life.
15) You feel like you have a secret
It all boils down to this – once you start noticing his behavior and affection, you will start having all sorts of emotions.
At one point, you will probably start feeling like you have a big secret that you need to protect.
That can be quite exciting and might even lead to a romance that you could not have imagined.
However, bear in mind that he is married, so before anything happens, make sure you think things through so you don’t get hurt.
Stopping things in their tracks will help you to protect yourself from the heartache and move on to someone who is available and single.
It all comes down to this – you have the power to control the situation and dictate where it should go.
If you are not ready to be all secretive about your feelings, then you should stop working together and focus on something more stable.
You would be amazed how many people are willing to throw away a great job opportunity just because they are not sure of their feelings.
Remember that you don’t have to do anything at all – don’t let him get too close if that doesn’t feel right.
This kind of situation might seem promising, but it is important that you understand that you have the power to choose what you want in life and what do you want to agree on.
It is not easy to be in love with someone who is already married.
Been there, done that. It is so painful and heartbreaking that it took me a long time to recover.
As you probably felt it by yourself, it feels exciting and thrilling, but you can bet that it can also blow up pretty quickly.
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Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
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