17 signs a guy doesn’t want to hang out with you (complete list)

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Have you ever found yourself with a guy that you really like and are dying to spend more time with but he always has an excuse not to hang out? 

It’s been happening a lot lately and it’s driving you crazy. 

You’re starting to feel like he doesn’t want to see you? Keep reading – this post has all the sneaky tells!

Check out this list of 17 signs a guy doesn’t want to hang out with you.

17 signs a guy doesn’t want to hang out with you

1) He’s only keen on chatting online and never wants to meet you in person

Here’s the truth: 

If a guy always wants to chat online or over the phone but never wants to meet you in person, he’s probably blowing off steam and has no real interest in you.

You can’t really get to know someone online and it’s not going to help your relationship.

He’s probably just talking to you because he thinks it will get him out of trouble with his friends. 

He’s probably not a serious individual who wants to spend time with you. He’s a guy who has no real friends and needs his love life taken care of.

The best way to handle this?

Stop talking to him and ignore him. You can’t dump him because he doesn’t want a girlfriend – he wants to be a bachelor for the rest of his life.

2) He makes empty promises

Another sign that he doesn’t want to hang out with you is if he makes empty promises about spending time with you.

He might make small-talk with you and hint at wanting a relationship but then makes vague plans to meet up in the future that are never followed through.

This is an indicator that he’s thinking of other people while talking to you and has no interest in spending time with you in the future.

Go solve it:

You have to be a little cold and tell him how you feel. Tell him how his empty promises make you feel and politely ask him if he’s serious about seeing you.

3) He flirts with other women in front of you

Flirting with other women in front of you is a clear sign that he doesn’t want to see you or hang out with you.

It’s not a good thing if your guy is constantly flirting around with other girls and treating you like an afterthought.

It’s not easy. It’s enough to make you want to give up on love and walk away. 

4) He’s always unavailable for casual conversation

You don’t notice this immediately. It’s subtle, but it’s really important to watch out for. 

If a guy is always logged in to his online social networking site, it’s a clear sign that he doesn’t want to hang out with you.

It shows he isn’t interested in casual conversation and has no interest in being social. 

No matter how much he flirts, the chances are high that he doesn’t have any real interest in you at all. He’s just playing games on his smartphone and not really paying attention to you or anyone else around him.

So it all adds up to this:

He doesn’t want to hang out with you and will never take the time to get to know you in person.

5) He’s afraid to introduce you to his friends

Have you wondered why a guy always holds back from introducing you to his friends? 

It’s a tell-tale sign that he doesn’t want to see you.

Guys have cliques, just like girls do. So if he’s trying to keep you in the dark and away from his friends? It’s a clear sign that he doesn’t want to see you.

But also keep in mind:

He might protect you from other people’s judgments or insecurities.

He might be trying to keep you away from certain people in his life.

Just work on getting close to him and figuring out what he’s hiding from you. Be direct about it and don’t let him push you away.

6) All of his excuses are lame

When a guy is all up in your face with excuses why he can’t hang out with you, it’s not a good thing. 

And if all of his excuses are lame? He’s not even worth your time.

So how do you spot lame excuses?

It’s really easy. 

If he uses the tired old excuse of being too tired, it means he’s sick and tired of you and wants to get rid of you. 

If he keeps telling you that he doesn’t have a car, it means he refuses to take the time to see you. He doesn’t want a girlfriend – just someone to hang out with until something better comes along.

So take the next step:

Don’t waste time on lame excuses. You don’t need to be with a guy who can’t be serious about spending time with you.

7) His body language is closed off 

If he’s always looking away from you, it’s a clear sign he doesn’t want to hang out with you.

But also take this into consideration:

As a guy gets comfortable with his girlfriend, his body language will change. He’ll start being more open and expressive with his hands and face. 

8) He lets his voice mail pick up calls

This means he’s not trying to talk to you, or he’s at least minimizing his contact with you.

Either way, he’s really not interested in hanging out with you and wants to avoid speaking with you as much as possible.

According to psychiatrist David S. Breskin, M.D., “Everyone has a unique set of subconscious verbal and nonverbal signals that allows us to quickly gauge the status of our relationships with others.”

This is what he calls, “The Mirroring System.” This system is always on, and it’s how we communicate, emotional and non-verbal feedback to others.

So, when a guy lets his voice mail pick up for you – there’s no question that he’s not interested in seeing you.

9) He always puts himself first

Since relationships are all about give and take, if a guy is always putting himself first – he probably doesn’t want to hang out with you.

But don’t let that fool you: He’s not interested in being a jerk. 

It’s actually because he values his time, and he’s afraid of commitment. 

From an evolutionary standpoint, men want to ensure they aren’t wasting their time on something they’re incapable of completing (like a committed relationship).

So how to deal with this guy? 

Depending on how much time you spend with him and the level of commitment he’s willing to show you, it could be possible to change his behavior. 

But the most important thing is to not waste your time on him.

10) He’s still on Tinder even though you’ve met and hit it off

You might be lucky enough to meet a guy who’s on Tinder when you first start getting to know him.

But if he was interested in hanging out with you, he’d make the effort to get off of Tinder and spend more time with you.

He wouldn’t be spending time on his phone trying to get dates with other women when he has you! 

So if he’s always on Tinder even though you’ve already spent time together, it’s definitely not a good sign. 

Look for signs that he’s a player and isn’t really interested in you. The best way to fix this problem is to just cut it off and move on – you deserve better than that.

11) He flakes out on every planned activity

Let’s say you made plans with a guy on a Tuesday night, and he’s all up in your face about it for the first few days. He wants to know where you’re going to go, when you’re going to meet up, and where he can pick you up.

Fast forward a week: Now that it’s Tuesday night? He’s suddenly too busy or “can’t remember” what the date was altogether.

This is classic flaking behavior and a clear sign of disinterest.

It’s time for you to consider the possibility that this guy doesn’t care about building a relationship with you.

12) You have to initiate the conversation

Think about this for a moment: 

Does he contact you first, or do you have to contact him?

If it’s always the latter, it’s a clear sign that he’s not interested. He just doesn’t have time for you.

Or if he expects you to pay on the date, that’s another bad sign. 

He doesn’t care enough to spend time with you. If he only wants to hang out when it’s convenient for him, that’s not a relationship.

For example, if you’re always shooting him messages to hang out and he only contacts you when he wants to hang out, that’s a huge sign that he’s not all up in your face

It might be painful for you to accept but get over it. You’ll be happier without him in your life.

13) All his replies are short and brief

Short and brief replies mean he’s probably not interested in hanging out with you.

If you shoot him a long message about something that happened, he’ll only respond back with a short “OK” or “That’s cool.”

If you ask him how his day was, he’ll only respond with, “Good.” He won’t give you any details.

It’s very difficult to carry on an intelligent conversation with someone who only gives short replies to your questions. 

A true relationship means you’re able to communicate with each other and talk about your problems.

In case you’re struggling to build a relationship with this man, it’s time to re-evaluate and ask yourself if you’re wasting your time.

14) He’s overly critical of your appearance and personality 

This is definitely a huge sign that he’s not interested in hanging out with you. He’s more concerned about himself than your feelings.

A relationship isn’t all about him getting what he wants – it’s about both of you being committed to each other and devoted to one another.

Here’s an example: 

If he’s overly critical of your appearance, he’ll tell you that, “You’re too fat,” or that, “You need to work out more often.”

This is extremely disrespectful and will negatively impact your self-esteem. 

But if he’s overly critical of your personality? He might tell you that you’re too talkative, or that you’re uninteresting.

This is something most guys don’t tend to realize. 

He might say these things to you because he’s probably insecure about his own life and personality. 

This is a form of manipulation, so if he does this, cut off all contact with him. You’re too good for that kind of hurtful behavior!

15) He cancels dates last minute

Relationship expert, Dr. April Masini, says that this is another big sign that he’s not interested in hanging out with you:

“Men who cancel on dates last minute may have no intention of ever meeting you again. They have their phone number, but are unwilling to return your calls or show up.”

This is also a sign that he really doesn’t have time for you because if he was interested in hanging out with you, he’d work to make it happen.


You deserve to be treated with respect and dignity, so if this guy isn’t willing to do that, he’s not worth your time. You’ll find someone who will want to treat you like a queen.

16) He keeps talking about his exes like they’re his biggest confidantes

When a man happens to mention his exes in a conversation with you, it could be a bad sign.

It’s normal to talk about your exes when you’re single, or maybe even with friends, but when they’re brought up so frequently and in such detail, it’s a clear sign that he doesn’t want to hang out with you.

According to relationship expert, Dr. Juli Fraga, talking about your exes is a huge sign of disrespect for your current partner/ significant other.

If he keeps bringing up his exes, it could be a sign that he’s not over them yet and still thinking about them. 

But if you’re in love with him and want to be with him, there’s only one thing you can do: 

Wait it out until he gets over them.

17) He barely acknowledges your presence in public

Look, the fact that he doesn’t even acknowledge your presence in a public setting is a total red flag.

This is like, “Hey, I’m not even interested enough to greet you or acknowledge your existence. You’re just someone who keeps me company and sometimes feels good to hang out with.”

A relationship means both people are hanging out with each other because they want to, not because they have to. 

He shouldn’t make you feel as if you’re doing him a favor by spending time with him.

Just after a few dates, he probably won’t even want to see you in public. 

Final thoughts

When it comes to finding a relationship, you need to be able to read these signs and understand that most of them are dead giveaways. 

Love yourself enough to know when someone doesn’t want to be with you.

The moment you realize that he’s not into you, take the high road and cut him off. Don’t waste your time.

Hope this article makes your dating life easier and stress-free.

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