There are certain clues when a man is falling in love.
But with a more reserved and quiet man they can be harder to notice.
Here’s how to pick up on the love signals he’s sending, however subtle they are.
15 surprising signs a guarded man is falling in love (complete list)
1) He pays attention to the little things
One of the most surprising signs a guarded man is falling in love is that he pays attention to the little things.
Although he may not be extroverted or comfortable revealing his feelings for you, he shows it in the details.
He remembers key dates such as your birthday or religious and cultural celebrations.
He also remembers what you tell him and cares when you have a health or emotional problem or concern.
He doesn’t forget details and he clearly is listening when you talk.
2) He supports you in various ways
Another one of the surprising signs a guarded man is falling in love is that he’s supportive of you in various ways, but pretends it’s just what “any guy would do.”
Well, you can be the judge of that.
Is his helpful behavior the same as other men or is he going a step above?
Guarded men don’t like to let someone in, and tend to be very secretive when they have feelings for you.
Yet when you need something, there he is: ready to provide.
This could be in a literal way such as helping you move, giving you key advice or trying to guide you through a tough emotional time.
But whatever it is, you’ll find yourself pleasantly surprised by the ways in which this reserved man shows up for you on a consistent basis.
Does he do that for everyone or just you?
Because if it’s just you then he’s likely getting very strong feelings for you.
3) He helps out when he doesn’t have to
Another one of the surprising signs a guarded man is falling in love is that he helps you out in practical ways whenever he can.
He wants to be a stand-up guy for you and show you that he can take care of you in a typical masculine way.
You see, for guys, it’s all about triggering their inner hero.
I learned about this from the hero instinct. Coined by relationship expert James Bauer, this fascinating concept is about what really drives men in relationships, which is ingrained in their DNA.
And it’s something most women don’t know anything about.
Once triggered, these drivers make men into the heroes of their own lives. They feel better, love harder, and commit stronger when they find someone who knows how to trigger it.
Now, you may be wondering why it’s called “the hero instinct”? Do guys really need to feel like superheroes to commit to a woman?
Not at all. Forget about Marvel. You won’t need to play the damsel in distress or buy your man a cape.
The truth is, it comes at no cost or sacrifice to you. With only a few small changes in how you approach him, you’ll tap into a part of him no woman has tapped into before.
The easiest thing to do is to check out James Bauer’s excellent free video here. He shares some easy tips to get you started, such as sending him a 12 word text that will trigger his hero instinct right away.
Because that’s the beauty of the hero instinct.
It’s only a matter of knowing the right things to say to make him realize that he wants you and only you.
4) He’s not always focused on sex with you
Another one of the surprising signs a guarded man is falling in love is that he isn’t always focused on sex around you.
He’s clearly attracted and into you physically, but that’s not the only way in which he likes you.
He likes talking to you, being with you and spending time with you.
He’s focused on your overall relationship, not just time in the bedroom.
Not only is that fairly rare these days, it’s also a sign that he’s not just playing it cool to score intimacy, he’s unexpressive it because it’s his personality…
5) He clearly feels strong emotions when he’s around you
Another one of the surprising signs a guarded man is falling in love is that you see him trying to suppress his emotions around you unsuccessfully.
So the question is:
How can you tell if someone is keeping in strong emotions?
Common signs include:
Becoming short of breath or swallowing like he has a lump in his throat
Averting his gaze during intimate moments as if he’s going to cry
Stuttering and being unsure what to say during periods of particular closeness
If you’re dealing with a guarded man who you can’t read at all, it’s a little different.
After all, when he’s showing no signs whatsoever, how are you supposed to know if he’s hiding emotion or not.
Well, there is a way to turn up the emotional volume so much that even he won’t be able to hide it.
To do this, you only need to change the emotions he associates with you and make him picture what a brand new relationship with you would look like.
In his excellent short video, James Bauer gives you a step-by-step method for women who want to change the way their ex feels about them. He reveals the texts you can send and things you can say that will trigger deep feelings inside him.
Because once you paint a new picture about what your life together could be like, you could end up creating the relationship you’ve always dreamt of.
6) He loves to meet your friends and colleagues
One of the other surprising signs a guarded man is falling in love is that he clearly likes meeting your friends and colleagues.
Maybe he’s just a really friendly guy, right?
Well, it’s certainly possible.
But keep in mind that a guarded and reserved man doesn’t tend to be a social butterfly.
So if he’s out here trying to meet your friends and coworkers, it’s probably more than random friendliness.
It’s a lot more like what someone does when they’re romantically interested in someone else.
7) He wants know your future plans
The future is fluid and it’s always evolving.
But one of the surprising signs a guarded man is falling in love is that he talks about the future.
This isn’t necessarily about the future with you, specifically.
A guarded man is likely to cloak it in general chats about what the future holds.
But if you look beneath the surface you’ll see a man who’s trying to be there for you in a “manly” way.
This relates back to the unique concept I mentioned earlier: the hero instinct.
When a man feels respected, useful, and needed, he’s more likely to romantically commit.
And the best part is, triggering his hero instinct can be as simple as knowing the right thing to say over a text.
You can learn exactly what to do by watching this simple and genuine video by James Bauer.
8) He’s interested in what makes you tick
Another one of the surprising signs a guarded man is falling in love is that he’s very interested in what makes you tick.
He wants to know about things like:
- How you were raised and your main influences growing up
- What you believe and why
- Your dating history
- Your work history
- What matters most to you
- Your family and friends
He will likely ask about these things but in a subtle way, being reserved as he is.
If you express openness to talking, he’ll take the hint and ask more.
It’s really up to you about whether or not you respond to his signs of strong romantic interest.
If a usually closed guy is asking in detail about things like this, then he’s in the grip of stronger feelings than you might think.
9) He opens up, but only to you
Another of the surprising signs a guarded man is falling in love is that he opens up.
But just to you.
As the proclaimers sing in their 2014 song ”Unguarded Moments”
“You take a chance and love someone
There’s nothing left to lose
Just let go and give in
Then you’ll win, then you’ll win.”
The optimism of this song is ultimately counterbalanced by its depressing ending, but it’s a good example of how things go when you’re forming a romantic connection.
Something pierces through the illusion and pretence of ordinary life.
And you feel a connection that’s not just about “liking” someone, it’s about relating to their soul.
10) He loves to talk to you, even if he’s shy
Another one of the surprising signs a guarded man is falling in love is that he talks to you as much as possible, even though he’s clearly shy and reserved.
This can be a bit disconcerting at first, but it’s a good thing.
The fact of the matter is this:
Yes, men come in all different shapes and sizes.
They also have personalties ranging from reserved to crazy extroverted.
But once you get past all those personality differences there’s a really crucial common denominator.
The truth is, understanding men is much easier than most women realize – we tend to overcomplicate things a lot.
I learned this from relationship expert Carlos Cavallo. He’s one of the world’s leading experts on relationship psychology and what men want from a relationship.
In this free video, he’ll explain everything you need to know about how to get through to your man, no matter how reserved and closed off he is.
11) He’s a bit envious if you give attention to other men
Another one of the surprising signs a guarded man is falling in love is that he gets a bit jealous when you give attention to other men.
He just doesn’t like it, even though he tries to hide that.
Of course, this can easily cross the line into possessiveness or passive-aggressive attempts to guilt and shame you for spending time with who you choose.
But on the subtler and classier side this will generally manifest as just a bit of soft concern.
You may hear an edge in his voice or see him look down as if trying to hide his expression when he sees you were out with another guy.
Over texting or messages it will generally show up as him delaying his responses or sounding a bit colder than usual.
12) He spends as much time with you as he can
When a guarded man is falling in love he does what other men do, just more subtly.
One of the unexpected and surprising signs a guarded man is falling in love is that he will go out of his way to spend more time for you.
The thing is that he’ll try to make it look like it’s just business or like he just “happened” to need to do something with you or get together with you to chat about something.
Part of the reason for this is that a guarded man has often become that way out of being hurt by love in the past.
“Those of us with guarded hearts have most likely fallen in love too quickly in the past and ended up getting hurt.
However, despite having learned from our bad experience, it’s in our nature to fall for anyone who treats us well from the get-go.”
13) He talks about the future with you
Another one of the surprising signs a guarded man is falling in love is that he talks about the future with you.
This is far from a common occurrence for a man who’s reserved.
The fact that he’s bringing up the future in any way with you is a big step.
And it’s a great sign that his feelings for you have gone far beyond the casual.
He wouldn’t be talking about the way ahead in any way with you if it was just idle speculation.
He’s interested in something real with you and is thinking about the road ahead.
14) He trusts you more than he trusts others
Another one of the surprising signs a guarded man is falling in love is that he trusts you more than he trusts others.
This may show through in small ways at first, since a guarded man is far from a showboat.
He will perhaps lend you some money, ask your opinion on a subject that’s personal to him, or give you advice about work or another topic that you’re trying to resolve.
He’s trusting you with his thoughts and feelings and showing you that you matter to him.
This is a big deal, especially from a man who tends to be more reserved and guarded in his interactions with others.
15) He actively tries to hide how he feels for you
Last and not least, one of the most surprising signs a guarded man is falling in love is that there is no sign.
In fact, the sign is the lack of signs.
Now, this may sound like a contradiction, but it’s not.
The reason it’s not a contradiction is this:
There’s a big difference between indifference and pretending to be indifferent.
In one case, the guarded man may be reasonably friendly and normal without opening up much. He won’t start conversations or interact with you unnecessarily, but he behaves civilly and really quite indifferently.
In the second case, the guarded man behaves notably coldly, as if you have somehow rubbed him the wrong way. He may almost look as if he’s upset with you or trying to keep from saying something to you.
That’s him trying to hide his feelings for you.
The complete lack of signs is often the strongest sign of all.
A guarded man can be hard to read, as I noted at the beginning.
But when he’s showing many of the signs above and you’re having more and more “unguarded moments” together, you know that something is happening.
Guarded men don’t let their guard down just for fun.
They do it when they’re interested.
By now you should have a better idea of why knowing where your man stands on committing to you.
So the key now is getting through to your man in a way that empowers both him and you.
I mentioned the concept of the hero instinct earlier — by appealing directly to his primal instincts, you won’t only solve this issue, but you’ll take your relationship further than ever before.
And since this free video reveals exactly how to trigger your man’s hero instinct, you could make this change from as early as today.
With James Bauer’s incredible concept, he’ll see you as the only woman for him. So if you’re ready to take that plunge, before sure to check out the video now.
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.
I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.