There are few things more awkward than being in a relationship where the girl you like so much never initiates texting but she always responds.
This behavior can be super confusing, so I’m here to tell you 10 tips on how to deal with that:
1) Be patient
If she’s been in a relationship or just getting over a breakup, it’s possible that her emotions are all over the place.
In this case, she may not be fully ready for a new relationship.
Give her the time and space she needs, and she’ll let you know when she’s ready to take the next step.
Similarly, if she’s in an intense period of work or study, she may not be able to focus her attention on a new relationship, even if she wants it.
Be patient, and be there when she’s ready.
Finally, sometimes people just move at different paces.
Maybe she’s generally more cautious or less impulsive than you are.
Maybe she needs more time to warm up to you than you do to warm up to her.
Whatever the reason, be patient with her, and she’ll likely get to the point where she wants the relationship to move forward.
You see, when a person needs a little more time to warm up to someone, they sometimes refrain from initiating conversations.
That doesn’t mean that she doesn’t like you or doesn’t want to be with you, she might just need a little bit more time to figure out her feelings.
If she responds with engaging messages, like she enjoys the conversation, definitely don’t give up and stay patient.
However, if you notice that she responds, but her responses are dry, one-worded, and uninterested, then maybe it’s time to let it go.
2) Don’t respond to the behavior you don’t want to see more of
Try not to respond to the fact that she never initiates texting, and don’t respond to her not responding to your texts.
If she never texts you first, don’t take it personally.
There are many reasons why she may not be initiating conversation or why she may be taking longer to reply to your texts.
The most important thing is to not respond to the behavior you don’t want to see more of.
So, if you really want to see what’s going on, you could try not texting her for a few hours or simply waiting a bit.
If she doesn’t reach out, that still doesn’t mean she isn’t into you, as I said, there are lots of reasons why she might not initiate a conversation.
Instead of ignoring her for days, try talking to her first. Don’t respond with the same behavior.
If talking doesn’t help either, she might really not be into you, sorry.
3) Confront her about it
If you want to engage in a conversation with her and she never initiates it, then you could directly confront her about it.
You could say something like “I’d love to talk to you about your day” or “I’d love to know more about your trip” and see what she says.
If you feel like you need to confront her about her general lack of texting or her not texting you back, then do it when you don’t feel triggered by it.
This way, you’re not responding to the behavior you don’t want to see more of, but you’re questioning her about it.
You see, while you are triggered, you might say something you don’t really mean, so it’s best to wait until you’ve calmed down before you confront her about her behavior.
Confronting her doesn’t mean you need to be rude, simply point it out and say “Hey, I’ve noticed this, am I just being crazy, or is there a reason for it?”
Maybe she has a perfectly valid reason for not initiating conversations.
Talking about it openly will help clear things up.
4) Be confident and assertive when you talk to her
If you’re generally being very shy and reserved around her or seem like you’re not very confident or assertive, then you may have the opposite problem.
You may come across as too eager and desperate.
So, try to be confident and assertive when you talk to her.
A great way to do that is to mirror back her body language.
But not only that, focus on speaking slowly and calmly when you talk to her and use good eye contact.
This will make you seem more confident and assertive and will make her feel more comfortable with you.
But that’s not all, you also have to make sure that you are respecting yourself.
If she isn’t responding, don’t send her 5 texts in a span of an hour.
Instead, simply give her some time and distract yourself, this will show her that you have your own life going on and you don’t rely on her to be happy.
5) Give her space and time
Communicate to her that you’re aware of her need for space and time.
That you don’t want to rush her and that you understand that she needs more time.
The best way to do that is by reflecting her own words back to her.
For example, if she says that she needs more time for herself, you could say “I completely understand that you need more time for yourself.”
Basically, you want to let her know that you get it. That you’re not pressuring her or trying to rush her into anything.
Then, take some time and space for yourself, too.
This can be a great time to work on yourself a bit and see where you are currently mentally and emotionally.
Maybe she wants to ease into the relationship, which is why she isn’t initiating any conversations.
In that case, use that opportunity to also reflect on the relationship and how you feel about it all.
6) Communicate your feelings clearly
If you want to know what she’s feeling and what’s on her mind, you could ask her.
You could say something like “I really want to know what’s on your mind. Is there anything you want to talk about?”
From there, you’ll probably get more information than you were expecting.
Sometimes, people just need to get their thoughts out in the open. So, if you ask her what’s on her mind, she might just tell you.
In the same way, you can also communicate your own feelings clearly and openly.
Tell her that you really like her, but that her passive behavior is making you wonder if she enjoys the time together just as much.
Talking about it openly is scary because she might tell you something you don’t want to hear, but isn’t it better to live with clarity than in delusion?
7) Try to understand what she wants
She may tell you that she wants more space or time.
That she wants to keep things casual and not move too fast.
If she tells you that she needs more time and space, you could say something like “I completely understand that you need more time and distance. That’s a good thing because it means that this isn’t moving too quickly for you.”
Similarly, if she tells you that she wants to keep things casual, you could say “I completely understand that you want to keep this casual. It’s important to me that you feel comfortable and that nothing moves too quickly for you.”
You see, there could be 10000 things going on in her mind, and you will never know until you talk to her.
Understanding where she is coming from is your only way of successfully resolving this situation.
Try to understand what she wants and where you stand with her.
8) Show her you enjoy being around her
If you want her attention, affection, and time, be sure to show her that you enjoy being around her.
That you find her interesting and that you want to spend time with her.
If you enjoy being around her, she’ll feel it. If you enjoy being around her, she’ll want to spend more time with you.
You see, maybe she is a bit insecure, too.
In that case, she might not initiate conversations because she is afraid of annoying you or that you might not want her anymore.
A simple way to show her that you are enjoying being around her is to ask her if she wants to hang out with you more often.
You could also tell her that you enjoy spending time with her and that you will be grateful if she could spend more time with you.
When you reassure her like that, you make sure that she knows how much you appreciate her.
9) Take care of yourself physically and mentally
If you’re stressed, anxious, or depressed, you’re not in a good place to be around your crush.
Take care of yourself physically and mentally before you attempt to be around her.
You’ll feel better and will be better equipped to handle any situation that may arise. Make sure that you’re in a good place before attempting to engage with her.
You see, when you are in a bad place mentally, you are more likely to lash out, be moody, or simply not present with her.
This won’t help your chances with her at all, trust me.
Instead, simply take some time and take care of yourself on all levels.
You’ll feel better and will be ready to handle any situation that might arise.
10) Don’t interpret her behavior as disinterest
If you follow all of this advice and she’s still not texting you first or responding to you, don’t interpret that as disinterest.
She may just be taking longer to warm up to you or feel comfortable with you. You may need to spend more time together before she opens up to you more.
You may need to spend more time communicating with her and getting to know her better before she feels like she can share things with you.
Keep trying, and don’t interpret her behavior as disinterest.
Let me tell you something: some girls really like a guy, but they won’t initiate a conversation because they believe it’s the guy’s job.
Nothing more than that! So while you are there racking your brain as to what you are doing wrong, she might think you are the perfect guy for her!
That’s why it’s important to not jump to any conclusions right away.
Take your time and see if she responds.
It will be okay
Did you know that people can often sense how you feel about them? It’s true – and if you are feeling frustrated about being in a relationship where she never initiates text but always responds, she is likely picking up on those negative emotions.
So, don’t let yourself be paralyzed by your frustrations – take the tips above and channel your energy into positive action. Your crush will appreciate it!
Trust me, there are tons of reasons why she might not initiate any conversations with you but always responds, and most of them have little to do with you!
So, talk to her about it if it really bothers you, or simply watch her body language around you to figure out if she likes you!
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
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