When it comes to relationships, there is no one way to deal with conflict or issues. Each and every couple handles them differently.
Some couples are super open about their feelings, talking about problems and addressing them together. But sometimes, things might be more complicated.
Here are 11 things it means when your girlfriend says she needs time to process her feelings:
1) She’s still looking for the right words
When she says she needs time to process her feelings, she doesn’t know what to say.
This might mean you’re dealing with an undefined feeling, like anxiety, sadness, or anger, or that she has no words for the specific feeling she’s experiencing.
Maybe she isn’t sure if she’s mad or hurt, or if she’s just surprised by the way things went down.
If she has trouble finding the right words, it’s helpful if you don’t pressure her to come up with the right label right away.
This will help her calm down and process the situation in her own way so that she can then figure out what she’s really feeling.
You see, this doesn’t need to be anything bad, sometimes people are overwhelmed by good emotions and don’t know what to say.
Try to give her some time.
2) She needs time to think about what happened
Maybe she’s not even sure what you did or said that upset or hurt her.
It’s common to need time to process an event — like a big fight, an argument with a friend, or a stressful day at work — and figure out what went wrong and where you stand with the people involved.
She may not know what you did wrong, but she might have a sense that something happened.
This can be frustrating if you’re eager for answers, but it’s better to let her have time and space to think about what happened.
If you jump on top of her and demand an explanation as soon as she says she needs time to process her feelings, you’re not helping her calm down and figure out what happened.
You’re only making her feel more pressured.
Think about it: did something happen that might have hurt her?
Or maybe she needs time to process how you’re feeling.
3) What would a relationship coach say?
While this article will shed light on the main reasons she needs time to process her feelings, it can be helpful to speak to a relationship coach about your situation.
With a professional relationship coach, you can get advice tailored to your unique situation…
Relationship Hero is a popular site where highly trained relationship coaches help people work through complex relationship issues, like needing time to think.
Their popularity boils down to how skilled their coaches are.
Why am I so confident that they can help you?
Well, after recently experiencing a tough patch in my own relationship, I reached out to them for help.
From the moment I got in touch, I was given genuine, helpful advice, and was finally able to see my relationship issues with real clarity.
I was blown away by how kind and empathetic my coach was.
Within minutes, you could be receiving life-changing advice on how to navigate and repair the issues you’re facing in your relationship.
4) You messed up somehow
If she’s upset about something you did, she may not know how to talk about it.
She may not even be sure what the problem is. You aren’t obligated to figure it out for her, either.
She needs time to process the situation and come to terms with how she feels about what you did.
Let her think about it and discuss it when she’s ready.
Don’t try to push her for answers or squirm your way out of it. Instead of trying to figure out what you did wrong, focus on being patient and letting her come to a conclusion on her own.
If she brings it up, apologize and try to make it right. If she doesn’t, let her know that you want to understand what happened so that you can avoid it in the future.
You see, there is a chance that you messed up somehow if she needs time to process her feelings.
Think about it: did you do anything?
Is she mad at you?
Maybe you flirted with another girl, or worse yet, did something else with her.
Or perhaps something else you did hurt your girlfriend.
Whatever it is, figure out if you messed up somehow, that could be the reason she needs time to process her feelings.
The good news?
If you give her some time, there is a chance that you can make up!
5) This doesn’t mean she doesn’t care about you
If your girlfriend needs time to process her feelings and she’s been hurt by something you did, she may think that she doesn’t have the right to be upset or mad.
That could be the case if she’s been taught that emotions like anger and sadness are bad or wrong, or if she’s struggling with an unhealthy relationship with her own emotions.
If this is the case, you can help her process her feelings and be proud of them.
Let her know that it’s okay to be upset and that you want to understand what happened so you can make it right.
However, remember one thing: needing time to process her feelings can mean a lot of things, but it doesn’t mean she doesn’t care about you.
You see, if she didn’t care, she would have dumped you right away, but she is trying to figure out what happened and how you can make it right.
If she’s trying to understand, that means she cares.
Don’t take her lack of emotion as an indication that she doesn’t care about you.
There is a chance that if you give her time, she will be able to explain what happened and show you that she does care about you.
6) You did something that’s making her feel bad about herself
Maybe you made a comment that made her feel less confident, like saying she’s not as funny as she used to be or that she’s not as attractive as she used to be.
Maybe you made a bad joke at her expense or about something that’s sensitive for her.
Perhaps you forgot about a special occasion or important date, or maybe you didn’t do something you said you would do.
Whatever the case, she may not know how to start the conversation, or she may be waiting for the right time.
When she says she needs time to process her feelings, this could be the issue.
These situations can be tricky because you don’t want to make her feel like she has to explain herself or that she did something wrong.
You don’t want to make her feel bad or guilty, either.
Let her know that you’re sorry if you upset her without asking what you did wrong.
Let her know that you want to make it right without making her feel bad for wanting your mistake corrected.
7) She is stressed or anxious over something else and that’s triggering her feelings
Maybe you didn’t do anything wrong, but she’s still upset.
She could be stressed or anxious over something else in her life, like work, school, family, or friends.
Her feelings could be coming from a different source.
If this is the case, she needs time to calm down and deal with the source of her anxiety before she can focus on you.
Let her know that you’re there for her and that you can wait until she’s in a better state of mind so that she can fully process what happened with you.
You see, needing time to process her feelings doesn’t need to have anything to do with you.
Quite the contrary – she might just have a lot on her mind.
If you give her the space she needs, she will be able to fully process her feelings and get back to you.
8) She doesn’t know how to articulate what she’s feeling just yet
If she’s not sure what she’s feeling, she may not know how to put the words together.
This is another sign that she needs time to process the situation and come to terms with what happened.
If you try to pressure her to explain what she’s feeling, you’re only impeding her ability to process and come to a conclusion on her own.
Let her know that you’re there for her and that you want to understand what happened without putting pressure on her.
As her partner, you want to help, not hinder.
Let her know that you’re there for her when she’s ready to talk. She may need a few hours, a few days, or even a few weeks to process what happened and come up with the right words.
However, this doesn’t mean that she doesn’t love you or that anything is terribly wrong – she might just need a while to come to terms with her emotions.
9) She’s not comfortable talking about it right now
If she’s not ready to talk about what happened, she’s not ready to talk about it. You don’t have to force her to explain what’s going on in her head.
Let her know that you’re there for her and that you’re interested in hearing what happened, but only when she’s ready to talk.
Don’t try to force the issue by asking her what happened or by pressing for details.
If you do, you’ll only make her feel more pressured and uncomfortable.
She needs time to calm down and come to terms with what happened.
She may not ever be ready to talk about it if she’s not comfortable doing so. You can’t rush these types of situations.
You just have to be patient and let her come to terms with what happened in her own way and on her own time.
You see, it’s really simple: if she needs time, she needs time.
10) You need to take a step back instead of pushing for answers right away
You may be eager to find out what happened and why she’s upset.
If so, you might be pushing her to talk about what happened before she’s ready.
Hearing you push for details will only make her feel more pressured and uncomfortable.
She needs space and time to process her feelings and come to terms with what happened.
Instead of pressuring her to explain what happened, let her know that you’re there for her. Be patient and give her the space she needs to come to terms with what happened.
When she’s ready, she’ll open up and share what happened with you. Be patient and let her come to terms with what happened on her own terms.
Trust me, you don’t want to push her right now.
11) She doesn’t know how she feels yet
If this is the case, she might be feeling confused, sad, angry, or a combination of emotions.
Her feelings might be all over the place, or she might not even be sure if she has feelings at all.
This is normal after an upsetting event. It takes time for the emotions to surface and develop.
You shouldn’t pressure her to quickly figure out how she feels.
There’s no set amount of time that is right for everyone.
Instead, give her space and time to work through the feelings that are brewing inside of her.
You see, if she needs time to process her feelings, that is just a different way of saying she has no idea what she is feeling right now.
If that’s the case, it’s okay to let her have space and time to figure it out.
Again, don’t freak out, it doesn’t mean that she is mad at you or has any negative feelings towards you, she might just need time to process what happened.
Give it time
I know, that’s not what you want to hear right now, but you just have to give it some time.
The thing is, she cares about you, otherwise, she wouldn’t go through the trouble of processing her feelings.
Give her some time, it’s the best shot you have at making things right again!
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.
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I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.
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