“She flirts with me then ignores me” – 10 reasons why and what to do about it

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Have you seen a girl who seems to be flirting with you, then suddenly ignores you? This may have happened to you more than once. If so, it’s time for some introspection. Maybe you need to take a second look at some of your actions. 

Here’s a list of ten reasons why, and what you can do about it.

10 reasons why she flirts with you and then ignores you.

1) You aren’t trying hard enough to woo her 

Maybe you just aren’t doing enough. You’re probably being nice and complimentary, but also trying to be yourself. 

Why don’t you try adding a bit more energy to your efforts? 

By being a little more provocative and engaging, you may actually catch her a bit off guard and make her reconsider. 

Also, keep in mind that she made a move first, which means that at least on some level she’s interested. Don’t give up just yet!

2) You’re a little too intimidating

Let’s face it:

There’s nothing wrong with being a little more physical than others, but if you have a tendency to come across as rough and demanding, then she may be afraid of you.

It may be intimidating to her because she’s not sure what your intentions are and you don’t seem like the kind of guy who would play fair. 

She’s probably careful about how she expresses her attraction to you or doesn’t express it at all. Since she flirts with you but doesn’t return your interest, you need to try something new.

Try being a little more open and casual about things. 

3) She’s just playing games with you 

I know this sounds harsh, but there are girls who just aren’t looking for boyfriends and aren’t interested in serious relationships. 

Their flirting is simply a way to pass time and have fun, with no strings attached. They like to play these kinds of games and enjoy seeing men chasing them around. 

If this sounds like her, then you need to stay away from her games. In fact, you should even drop hints that she’s not your type so that she doesn’t get the wrong idea about you.

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4) She wants to be friends only 

There are girls who play this kind of game, too. 

Their attraction is clearly sexual, and they want to be intimate with you, but they make it clear that they’re not looking for anything more than fun and friendship. 

If you catch them off guard by being a little more aggressive and trying to open things up, then this could be the way to go. 

Try treating her like a close friend and see if she reacts positively. It’s important that you actually want to be around her.


Don’t make her feel like you’re forcing yourself to spend time with her. She may not be attracted to you if she doesn’t really enjoy your company or feel comfortable around you.

Then it’s best if you just stay friends. If this is what’s happening, then she’ll let you know. There’s no need to force it.

5) You’re not her type 

Every relationship has its own unique challenges. 

Sometimes, you just have to accept that a girl isn’t interested in you and move on. Sometimes you can get through to a girl who doesn’t seem to be interested in you, but only if she seems interested enough in herself. 

Perhaps she flirts with you and then ignores you because she’s just not interested in you. There are many reasons why one person isn’t the right person for another, and it’s best, to be honest about what you’re looking for in a relationship and choose someone who is looking for the same thing.

I’ve been there before and I know that it’s not easy to deal with. It sucks when you’re interested in a girl but she isn’t interested in you. But the best thing to do is to accept this and move on.

6) She has feelings for you but is scared of rejection and being hurt 

There are many reasons that may cause a girl to flirty with you, but then suddenly ignore you, including being scared of rejection. 

Maybe she was curious about how the other person felt about her, so she decided to test the water and flirt a little bit. But when she’s put off, it makes her realize that maybe you aren’t as serious about a relationship as she is. 

This is especially true if she has been hurt before in a similar situation.

Here’s an example:

She might flirt with you but then lose interest as soon as she realizes that you’re not interested in a relationship. 

So she needs to go into herself and think about what she’s feeling and why that might be. Sometimes, we can’t explain our feelings for somebody else, because we don’t want to show them that we’re hurt or vulnerable.

What’s even better if the girl is honest about her feelings? The more honest she is, the more you’ll know what to do and where things are going.

7) You make yourself too available to her

This is a mistake that some men make, especially if they’re enjoying the attention. If a girl likes you and is interested in being with you, then she’s not going to want you to be so available to her. 

Let me explain:

She might like you and want to spend more time with you, but if you’re always available to her, it’s going to be difficult for her to be interested in anything else. 

It’s better that she gets the message that you’re not interested in anything serious and leave it at that.

So if you notice this, just give her a little space and see how she reacts. She might start spending more time with you again.

8) You’re uncomfortable with your intentions 

Maybe you’re not sure what you want or what your intentions are. 

If you don’t have a clear intention about whether you want a relationship with her, then she’s going to read into your behavior and misread it. 

Remember that women are very good at picking up on our moods and body language. So if you can tell that she’s trying to flirt with you but she’s unsure whether or not you like her, then just give her some space and see how she reacts.

Maybe she’ll realize that you’re unsure of yourself and let you know how she’s feeling. But if not, then her silence is enough to let you know that she isn’t interested.

9) You don’t have enough in common with her 

Here’s an interesting fact:

Couples that were matched for personality were more satisfied with their relationship down the line, even if they weren’t matched for good looks. 

She might flirt with you but reject you when she realizes that you’re not on the same page in terms of how you feel. Some women are only looking for casual encounters, and others are looking for long-term relationships. 

It’s not to say that all women want a serious relationship, but if you’re clear about what you’re looking for and she isn’t on the same page with you, then it can be frustrating.

10) She’s being nice to you to make someone else jealous 

This is a big one.

What about when a girl flirts with you and then ignores you because she’s looking for someone else? 

These are girls who are trying to make other guys jealous so that they’ll be more interested in her.

You can easily spot this behavior. 

For example, if a girl gets a lot of attention from men, then she might try to make you jealous by flirting with you and then ignoring you. This is her way of saying that she’s not interested in you, but at the same time, trying to lure the other guy in. 

Sometimes the girl herself might not even be aware of these behaviors. She’ll realize that she’s doing this when she notices that other guys are putting more effort into getting her attention.

What to do about it?

Now that you know the reasons why a girl might flirt with you and then ignore you, what can you do about it? 

Here are 6 ways that you can handle it:

1) Be a great conversationalist 

Back to the reason, she might be afraid to talk to you or ask you out. 

Is it because she’s nervous and doesn’t know what to say? Is she afraid of looking stupid? 

If you notice that she’s being very nervous around you, then just make her feel comfortable. Don’t put her on the spot, but rather talk about something that’s interesting. 

Make sure that the conversation is flowing, but not too fast that it makes her uncomfortable.

But let’s face it: 

Initial conversations with women can be tough. However, you can turn a potentially awkward moment into a moment of connection simply by finding common ground with them.

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2) Change up your approach

Now it’s your turn to change your approach. 

Maybe she’s been trying to get your attention by acting like a crazy person and then ignoring you. 

Or maybe she’s been giving you mixed signals so that you don’t know what she really wants. 

The best thing is to just be yourself when you talk to her. If you’re too nervous or unsure of yourself, then she’s not going to feel comfortable talking to you. So just be your usual self in conversation with her and see what happens.

Here are some tips to make your approach more natural:

– Ask more questions, instead of making statements. 

– Don’t worry about what you’re going to say, just go with the flow and have fun. 

– A great way to keep the conversation going is by asking for her opinions. For example, if you’re talking about a movie, ask her how she feels about the movie or if she liked it or not. This is a great way to see where her interests lie and also build on your conversation together. 

3) Make her jealous by flirting with other women

You might think that this step is kind of underhanded or manipulative, but it can be a powerful antidote to her flirting with you and then ignoring you. 

Why does this work? 

Well, if she’s been trying to make other guys jealous by ignoring you, then this is your chance to turn the tables on her. Here’s how: 

– Wait for a situation where there are other women around you that attract your attention. But don’t make a scene about it; just play it cool and act as if nothing happened. 

– Keep her close to you and make sure that you’re still having a great conversation with her. 

– Don’t forget to glance back at the other woman that’s trying to get your attention. 

This can be a really powerful way to make her jealous and prove to her that you’re not as weak or inexperienced as she thinks.

4) Be direct 

Sometimes you need to make your intentions clear. 

If she’s still acting aloof and you’re trying everything you can to get her attention, then it’s time to make a move. 

The worst thing that you can do is play games back and forth with each other for weeks or months, only to end up in the same place where you started. It’s time for her to know your intentions so that she can know whether she wants you or not.

Your best bet is to be direct about your intentions. In other words, to tell her what you want (i.e. if you want a relationship or not), without beating around the bush. If she’s not interested in you, she’ll tell you that, whether by her actions or her words.

If she doesn’t say anything and just continues trying to get your attention, then it’s a sign that she’s not interested in having a serious relationship with you. It also means that she might be playing games with other guys too.

5) Be very aware of your non-verbal signals (e.g., smiling, etc.)

Non-verbal signals play a big role in determining women’s attraction to you.

When you’re talking to a girl and she’s giving you mixed signals, headaches, or something similar, then it’s up to you to keep your cool. 

Sometimes girls will do this because they’re nervous and don’t know what to say. Other times, they’ll do this because of insecurity. 

To keep your cool when a girl gives you mixed signals is really important. If you seem like you’re overly anxious, then she might think that either: 

It’s far better to keep your cool and let her feel more comfortable around you, rather than forcing her to be in a situation where she doesn’t know what to do. 

6) Find common ground and show your true personality

As I’ve mentioned above, the best way to get a girl’s attention is by having fun and talking about interesting things. 

If you can’t think of anything to talk about with her, then find common ground. For example, if you know a lot of the same things that she does, then it’s a good place to start a conversation.

Here are some examples of great common ground: 

  • Music (if you share an interest in music) or movies. 
  • Sports. 
  • Hobbies or interests. 

If you both like to ride bikes or love music, then it’s a great way to start talking about something that you both care about. 

It can feel awkward if she’s acting really excited while you’re being really calm or emotionless. It can make her feel like you’re not interested in her, even though that’s not true at all.

Final thoughts

We’ve covered a number of reasons why a girl might flirt with you and then ignore you as well as ways to deal with this situation.

Remember that the most important thing is to relax and enjoy yourself. If you’re having fun, then she will too. 

It also helps if you keep things light-hearted. Don’t try to be too serious or make a big deal about it; just be yourself, and let the situation unfold naturally. 

But if you want to take things to the next level with this girl, you don’t need to play games or act like someone you aren’t. 

In fact, there are a few simple techniques you can use that’ll change the way you approach women for good. 

You can check them out in this free video by Kate Spring. 

I mentioned her earlier – she’s a relationship expert who shares the most basic but effective, biology-driven techniques for getting through to women on a deep level. 

Since learning about her, my dating game is stronger than ever. And the best part?

I actually understand how women work in love and relationships now. No more second-guessing, no more ending up in the friend zone. 

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There are no strings attached, just pure, valuable advice on upping your game around women. 

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