Reconnecting with an ex-boyfriend after 30 years: 10 tips if this is you

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30 years have passed since you and this guy broke up. 

Now (3 decades later!) you have the chance to reconnect with him.

But you’re probably wondering, is this even possible?

Can you reconnect and/or get back together with your ex-boyfriend after all this time?

Yes, you can! And the truth is, it’s not as hard as you may think.

Let me share some tips with you.

10 tips to reconnect with an ex-boyfriend

1) Be honest with yourself

First of all, you have to ask yourself some questions:

  • Do you really want to reconnect with him?
  • Are you ready?
  • Are you lonely? (It’s OK to admit it!)

Reconnecting with your ex-boyfriend could have emotional consequences, so before you do it, it’s best to ask yourself what you really want.

Even if 30 years have passed, seeing him could bring back a lot of pleasant and unpleasant memories. 

He might not be the same person he was when you two were together. He might have changed, and that’s more than OK.

However, if you truly want to see him and get to know him again, you should go for it!

The main idea here is to reconnect for all the right reasons, not the wrong ones.

2) Bring out his inner hero 

If you’re determined to reconnect with your ex-boyfriend after all these years and the idea of trying again appeals to you, you should do it the right way. 

You can avoid making the same mistakes and learn how to make him feel needed. How?

There’s a new theory in the relationship world that’s causing quite a stir – it’s called the hero instinct

Coined by relationship expert James Bauer, this fascinating concept finally explains how men really think and feel in relationships. 

And it’s something most women have never even heard of. 

According to James Bauer, men don’t actually need a lot to feel content in their relationships. To most people’s surprise, it has nothing to do with sex. 

You see, men have innate drivers. These are natural responses that they’re not even aware of. But when a woman comes along and triggers them, it causes a powerful response. 

The result is a man who loves harder, commits wholeheartedly, and truly dedicates himself to the relationship. 

So, how can you trigger your ex-boyfriend’s hero instinct? 

Well, you certainly don’t need to act like a damsel in distress or buy him a cape. It’s quite simple, actually. 

All you have to do is give him certain signals that make him feel needed in the relationship. These allow him to step to the plate and feel fulfilled in his role as your partner.

And these signals are revealed in this simple and genuine video by James Bauer

The truth is, once you understand how the hero instinct works, there’s no telling what heights your relationship can reach. 

So if you want to give your ex-boyfriend what he truly wants from you, make sure to check out James Bauer’s excellent video. In it, he reveals the exact texts and phrases you can use straight away.

Here’s a link to the free video again.

3) Be yourself; don’t try too hard to impress him!

The biggest mistake that women make when they try to reconnect with their ex-boyfriends is to try too hard.

They try to impress them by talking about their lives, and all the good things that have happened to them since they’ve broken up.

While this may sound like a good idea, it might not work. Your ex-boyfriend might think you’re still trying to impress him, and he might not be interested in hearing about your life anymore. 

Instead of trying to impress him, try talking about the things that you have in common.

You can talk about the things you both like, dislike, and think are important.

This is a great way to get to know your ex-boyfriend again, and it’s also a great way to build up a friendship with him.

The best thing you can do when you reconnect with your ex-boyfriend is to just be yourself. You’re not kids anymore, so there’s no need to deceive each other.

4) Be patient with him

If you’re trying to reconnect with your ex-boyfriend, then he’s probably doing the same thing. 

He might be feeling the same way that you are, and he might have a harder time making the first move than you do. 

If this is the case, then it’s important to be patient. Don’t push him away if he doesn’t make a move, and don’t try to make him feel bad about what he’s feeling. 

Instead, just be there for him when he wants to talk about things that were important in your relationship. 

Take the time to listen and understand where he’s coming from and try not to judge him based on what he did 30 years ago.

5) Don’t rush things too much!

When you’re trying to reconnect with your ex-boyfriend, it’s best to take things slowly

He probably has a lot of emotions and feelings that he has to deal with, and if you try to rush things, then you might end up making him go into defense mode.

This is the last thing you want to do when you’re trying to reconnect with him!

Instead of rushing things, take them one day at a time.

Or, if you remember, I mentioned this fascinating concept earlier: the hero instinct. When a man’s inner hero is triggered, he’s more likely to reconnect with you faster. 

Just by knowing the right things to say to him, you’ll open a part of him that no woman has ever reached before.And the easiest way to do so is by watching this free video by James Bauer. In it, he’ll reveal simple phrases and texts you can use to make your ex-boyfriend truly yours. 

Here’s a link to the excellent video again.

6) Don’t force him to talk about things that hurt you in the past 

While it’s important for you to talk about the things that hurt you in your relationship, it’s also important for your ex-boyfriend to want to talk about them.  

Maybe he’s not ready to talk about them, and it might be upsetting for him if you try and force him to do so. 

Instead, think about the fact that 30 years have passed since you two were together, and the things that have happened don’t really matter anymore.

Appreciate the fact that you’ll have the chance to get to know him again, and hope for a brighter future!

7) Don’t be afraid to make a mistake or two

When you’re trying to reconnect with your ex-boyfriend and maybe get back together, it’s impossible to know how things will turn out. 

The path you’re going to take is going to have some bumps along the way. Just because you’ve been together in the past, it doesn’t mean that you know how to make things work in the present.

So, don’t be afraid of making mistakes. 

Instead, focus on the fact that you could have a bright future with your ex-boyfriend ahead of you, and don’t worry about anything else.

8) Don’t try to get back together with your ex-boyfriend too soon!

If you’re reconnecting with your ex after 30 years, then it might seem like the time is right for you both to get back together, too. But this is not always the case! 

He may have a lot of feelings for you, but still; you shouldn’t rush things. 

What you can do is try to get closer to him. Talk about the things that you both used to love, and see if you can fall in love with each other again.

Getting back together too soon could have negative effects on you, and could make things worse for both of you. 

Even if you want to get back together, it’s best to wait a little bit and give yourself some time to think about what you’re going to do next in your life.

9) Paint him a picture of how your new life could be

If you’re trying to reconnect with your ex-boyfriend, then you should paint him a picture of how things could be if you two were part of each other’s lives again.

This will help him see the potential in what could be. It will also help him see things from your point of view.

To do this, you only need to change the emotions he associates with you and make him picture what a brand new relationship with you would look like. 

In his excellent short video, James Bauer gives you a step-by-step method for women who want to change the way their ex feels about them. He reveals the texts you can send and things you can say that will trigger deep feelings inside him. 

Because once you paint a new picture of what your life together could be like, you could end up creating the relationship you’ve always dreamt of.

Watch his excellent free video here.

10) Make sure your ex-boyfriend is available

While the idea of reconnecting with your ex-boyfriend might sound peachy to you, his family might not be that excited about it. 

If he’s not available (happily married, in a relationship), then you might want to think twice about reconnecting with him.

There is such a thing as the right time for reconnecting with an ex-boyfriend, and this might not be it!

It goes without saying that you should be careful not to hurt anyone by trying to reunite with your ex.

Can you still love someone after 30 years apart?

It’s dangerous to assume that you can only love someone for a certain period of time. The love between you and your ex-boyfriend is unique, and this means that there’s no time limit on it.

You can still love who he was back then or your memories together, and you can learn to love him as a person today.

What you’re going to have to focus on is getting to know him again and then deciding what you feel about him.

Experts say that there could still be a place for him in your heart, even if 30 years have passed because you have a unique bond with him. The same applies to him.

It’s not going to be easy for you to get back into his life again, and it’s going to take a lot of effort on his part, too. 

However, it’s possible, and you should not give up on him just because it’s been a while.

Why do old flames get in contact?

There are a lot of reasons why women try to reconnect with an ex.  

A lot of these reasons have to do with curiosity, and some women have a strange attraction to their ex-boyfriends that they just can’t shake off.

Not even after 30 years!

These women have an urge to re-experience the feelings that they had for their ex-boyfriends, and this is how they do it.

Other times it’s about getting closure on their past. Or, another reason is to help heal a broken heart.

Relationship psychologists say that women feel the need to reconnect with an ex-boyfriend because they miss the time that they spent together.

It’s also common for women to reconnect with an ex-boyfriend in order to find out if their relationship was really as bad as it seemed. 

These are all legitimate reasons why women would want to reconnect with an ex-boyfriend, but there’s no way to know for sure.

Final thoughts

I touched on the hero instinct earlier – it’s the perfect remedy for the situation you’re facing. 


Because once your ex-boyfriend’s hero instinct is triggered, he’ll only have eyes for you. You’ll reach a part of him that no woman has ever managed to reach before.

And in return, he’ll be compelled to reconnect with you and love you like he’s never loved another woman. 

So if you’re ready to take that plunge and reach new heights in your relationship, make sure to check out relationship expert James Bauer’s invaluable advice.

Click here to watch the excellent free video.

Can a relationship coach help you too?

If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.

I know this from personal experience…

A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.

If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.

In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.

I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.

Click here to get started.