I know how strange it is to have your guy friend suddenly start to ignore you. You go from spending all your free time hanging out together to wondering if he’s mad at you or if he’s been kidnapped by aliens!
The best way to find out what’s going on is to talk to him about it, but if you can’t get him to talk to you, here’s a list of 34 possible reasons he’s ignoring you.
Let’s jump right in:
1) He’s realized that he’s in love with you
Surprised? Maybe you shouldn’t be.
A lot of people think that a platonic relationship between a heterosexual man and woman is impossible to maintain in the long run. Eventually, one or both parties will realize that they want more than just friendship.
Now, I’m not sure I agree that it’s impossible for a guy and girl to be friends, but I do think that the chances of one of them developing romantic feelings are pretty high.
He’s probably as surprised as you are. He thought you were friends and then something happened – maybe he saw you flirting with another guy or he caught himself checking you out – and suddenly, you were no longer just his friend.
He’s not sure how to handle this new situation and needs some time to figure things out, which brings me to my next point…
2) He’s nervous about telling you how he feels
So, he’s figured out that he’s in love with you and now he’s ignoring you because, well, he’s nervous about telling you how he feels.
I mean, try to see it from his point of view: How do you tell someone you’ve been friends with for a long time that you’re in love with them?
He doesn’t know where to begin. And what about your reaction?
What if you don’t feel the same way?
3) He’s scared about being rejected
Let’s face it, you could end up rejecting him which will not only hurt his feelings but it could jeopardize your whole relationship. Does he want to take that risk?
4) He’s afraid of getting too close to you
It’s also possible that he’s had some bad relationships in the past and he’s scared of getting hurt again.
He’s afraid of getting too close to you and things not working out. Is ignoring you the best reaction? No, but he’s just scared and hasn’t had a chance to process his feelings yet.
5) He doesn’t want to be in the friend zone
And maybe he’s been hinting about his feelings for a while and you’ve been ignoring him.
Could he have been flirting with you this whole time? Have you failed to see the signs?
Maybe he thinks he was pretty clear about his feelings and that you’ve put him in the friend zone. Well, he’s sick of being in the friend zone, that’s why he’s ignoring you.
6) He’s playing hard to get
And how does he plan to get out of the friend zone? By playing hard to get of course!
He thinks that by ignoring you he’ll get you to come running after him. He hopes you’ll realize that you need him in your life and that you have feelings for him too.
It’s a risky move, but it’s gotten you thinking hasn’t it?
7) He thinks you have feelings for him
Maybe it’s the other way around.
Do you have feelings for him?
Well, even if you don’t, it’s possible that you said or did something to give him the impression that you do.
If he thinks you have feelings for him and he doesn’t feel the same way, he could be ignoring you because he doesn’t know how to let you down without hurting you or damaging your friendship.
Let’s look at the other (non-romantic) possible reasons he’s ignoring you.
8) He’s busy with work or school
Sometimes a guy just has a lot on his plate.
Now, maybe you’ve gotten used to him replying to your texts as soon as you send them, but that’s when he’s got time on his hands.
Think about it: Does he have an important meeting coming up? Does he have to prepare a presentation for his boss? Does he have any exams coming up? Could it be something else?
It’s quite possible that he’s not ignoring you on purpose, he just hasn’t had a chance to get in touch yet.
9) You said something to hurt his feelings
Or… maybe he is ignoring you because you hurt his feelings.
Sometimes we say something that we think is completely innocent and end up hurting the other person. Think back to when you last saw each other or spoke – what did you say to him?
Do you remember any awkwardness?
If you think you said something that could have hurt him then you need to make it up to him asap!
10) He’s embarrassed about something
Another reason he could be ignoring you is that he’s embarrassed about something.
Maybe he said or did something that he now regrets. For example, you guys went to a bar and he’d had one too many drinks and tried to kiss you.
Now he’s embarrassed about how he behaved and is scared that he may have ruined your friendship.
11) He thinks you’re mad at him
And maybe he thinks you’re mad at him. Do you think he’s a total idiot for trying to kiss you? He doesn’t blame you, he’s mad at himself too.
He’s probably just waiting for some time to pass so that you can cool off. He’s hoping that you’ll forget about what happened after a few days and you guys can pick up where you left off.
12) He feels neglected
I have to admit that I’ve been guilty of neglecting my guy friend. We used to hang out all the time and then I started going out with this amazing guy and suddenly, I didn’t have time for my friend anymore.
I was head-over-heels in love and I wanted to spend every second with my new boyfriend. My guy friend stopped talking to me for a whole month!
Of course, I was too busy to notice that something was up at first, and by the time I had, he was inconsolable. It took a lot of begging and pleading on my part to be forgiven but I’ve learned my lesson: guys come and go but friends are forever!
Does this sound like you?
13) He doesn’t like the guy you’re dating
We’ve all been there – every once in a while a friend of ours will date someone we don’t like. But does that mean we should ignore them? Probably not, but each case is unique.
Maybe the guy you’re dating is extremely rude to your friend. Maybe he’s super offensive and condescending but you haven’t noticed.
Your friend tried to tell you that your new guy makes him uncomfortable but you ignored him so now he’s keeping his distance…
14) He’s busy with his new girlfriend
Spending all his free time with you made sense when he was single. But now that he has a new girlfriend, he doesn’t want to hang out with his friends, he wants to spend all his free time with her.
Cut him some slack, he’s in love. The relationship is still new and exciting. He’ll make time for you once the infatuation wears off.
15) You made fun of him and now he’s ashamed
Here’s the thing:
When we’re super close to someone we tend to relax a bit too much and well, speak before we think.
I once made fun of my friend because of his balding head. I had no idea he would be sensitive about it! I thought guys didn’t care about such things. Turns out I couldn’t have been more wrong! He probably felt the way I would if he had told me I was fat! I felt like such a jerk.
So if you did something similar, it’s possible that your friend isn’t talking to you because he feels ashamed.
16) You forgot his birthday
How could you?!
Personally, I don’t think that my birthday is a big deal. I might feel bad if my mum forgot about my birthday but otherwise if someone forgets to say, “Happy Birthday”, it doesn’t matter to me. But I know that birthdays matter to other people so I make sure to have everyone’s birthday on my calendar (I can’t rely on Facebook for such an important thing).
Maybe your friend thinks birthdays are a big deal and he can’t believe that you could forget such an important date. To him, the fact that you forgot means that you don’t care about him.
He’s ignoring you to show you how hurt he is.
What you need now is some kind of grand gesture to show him how much he means to you! How about a belated surprise party?
17) He’s had a bad day and wants to be alone
Although it may feel like it, the earth doesn’t actually revolve around you!
If you’re wondering what you did or said to make him mad or sad and if you’re wondering what it is about you that’s making him ignore you – you may want to stop and think that maybe it has nothing to do with you.
Everyone has a bad day from time to time. And while sometimes we want to talk about what happened, at other times we just want to be left alone.
Maybe he just needs some downtime to think or meditate or even binge-watch a new Netflix show.
My point is that it’s quite possible that this has nothing to do with you and that your friend will get in touch with you when he feels ready to talk.
18) He’s been dealing with a personal issue
Look, opening up emotionally doesn’t exactly come naturally to most guys. It’s possible that your friend has a personal issue that he doesn’t want to discuss with anyone.
Now, I know what you’re thinking, “But, I’m his friend, he can tell me anything” but that’s just not how it works.
You can let him know that you’re there for him if he needs to talk about it, but you also need to accept that he may want to deal with whatever it is by himself
19) He’s been dealing with a health issue
I hope this isn’t the case, but some people tend to withdraw from their loved ones when they’re dealing with a health issue.
If he’s sick, he probably feels like nobody would get what he’s going through, not even you.
He could also be feeling overwhelmed by his diagnosis and unsure of how to cope with it, which is why he’s ignoring your texts.
20) You’re too demanding
It’s possible that your guy friend is ignoring you because he needs a break from you.
Put yourself in his shoes: Wouldn’t you want a break from someone who is as demanding and self-centered as you are?
I mean, he’s always there for you when you need him, and you tend to abuse that. You call him in the middle of the night to talk about your ex or about how someone at work pissed you off.
What about him? Do you ever listen to his problems? This takes us to the next possible reason…
21) You weren’t there for him when he needed you
It’s all about you and what you need. But what about what he needs? Friendship is supposed to be a two-way street.
Your guy friend is happy to help you out when you need him and you can count on him to be there for you whenever you need him, but can he count on you?
If he needed you and you weren’t there for him, if you couldn’t put him first for once, then I think you can guess why he’s been ignoring you.
22) He wants to hang out with his male friends
The truth is that sometimes guys just want to be guys.
That doesn’t mean that he doesn’t care about your friendship, it just means that he needs some guy time.
What is guy time?
It’s when guys can relax and not worry about how they act. They can talk about girls, fart, make crude jokes, and drink beer. You know, guy stuff.
23) You were disrespectful
Another reason he could be ignoring you is if you were disrespectful.
Maybe you made some kind of rude comment about his girlfriend or someone else close to him – not cool.
If this sounds like something you did, you need to apologize and make things right.
24) His girlfriend is jealous of you
I know what you’re thinking, “It’s not fair!”
It’s not fair, it really isn’t.
I mean, how can he let her dictate who he hangs out with?
But unfortunately, when a guy is in a relationship he’s going to put his woman first, even if that means ignoring his friend. Anything to keep her happy.
25) He doesn’t like your recent behavior
Maybe you haven’t been acting like yourself lately. Maybe you’ve been going through something that’s affecting your judgment and he can’t stand to be around you.
For example, you’re upset that your boyfriend has broken up with you and now you’re going through a self-destructive phase of partying, drinking, and experimenting with drugs. Your friend has tried to get you to stop but you won’t listen, in fact, you’re quite rude to him when he tries to talk about it.
26) His guy friends are making fun of him for spending so much time with you
I know it seems silly but guys can be mean with their jokes.
If his friends keep making fun of him for spending all his time with a girl that he’s not even sleeping with, it’s possible that his manhood has been hurt and he feels like he needs to take a step back from you.
Does that justify him ignoring you? Of course not, but I’m just trying to explain what he could be going through. After all, guys will be guys.
27) He doesn’t think you care about him
It’s also possible that he is ignoring you because he doesn’t think you care about him or value his friendship.
Maybe he thinks that you don’t make enough of an effort and that you put work and your other relationships first. If that’s the case, he’s probably sick of being the only one making an effort to keep this friendship going.
28) He’s had some kind of an emergency
I know it’s a bit far-fetched but it happens.
Picture this: You’re waiting for him at your favorite café and he’s running late. You keep calling his cell but he’s not picking up. You start to get angry and to wonder why he’s ignoring your calls. What could be so important that he can’t even pick up and tell you he’s going to be late or that he can’t make it?
And while you’re sitting there thinking all of that, he’s lying unconscious in a hospital because he was in an accident. Or maybe there was a fire in his building and he had to run out and forgot to take his phone.
These are of course some terrible scenarios but they do happen…
29) He needs some space
Is it possible that you guys have been spending too much time together? Have you become too clingy?
If that’s the case, maybe he just needs some space to himself. Give him a couple of days to breathe, to see some other people, and do something that doesn’t involve you.
And you know what? You should call up some other friends and see what they’re up to. After all, he’s not your only friend.
30) He’s sick of hearing about your love problems
No matter how nice your guy friend is, at some point he’s going to get sick of hearing about your love problems. I mean, can’t you talk about anything else?
This is especially true if he’s secretly in love with you.
So stop talking about other guys already!
31) He doesn’t feel like you ever listen to him
Could your guy friend be ignoring you because he doesn’t feel like you listen to him? You keep talking about yourself and hardly ever give him a chance to put a word in edgewise.
You don’t ask him how his day was or what’s new in his life, and when he tries to talk to you about something important, you’re quick to change the subject.
If this sounds like you, you need to learn to listen and give other people the attention that they deserve, otherwise, you may lose a friend or two.
32) He’s self-absorbed
Hey, sometimes a guy ignores you because he’s a self-absorbed douchebag. It’s as simple as that.
He’s quick to call you when he needs something from you or when he’s bored, but now he’s happy doing something that doesn’t involve you and he doesn’t bother responding to your texts or calls.
33) He’s a narcissist
Narcissists are more common than you might think.
If your guy friend is a narcissist, he could be ignoring you because he feels like he’s not getting the attention or admiration that he deserves.
Or maybe he’s resentful that you share your time with other people.
In short, he’s not getting what he wants, so why should he keep in touch?
34) You’re imagining it
Finally, I have to ask: Are you quite sure he’s ignoring you?
If you don’t think there’s any reason for him to ignore you, it’s quite possible that you’re imagining it.
Anything is possible, from his phone not working to him not seeing you across the street or hearing you call out his name.
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
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