Ladies, is your man acting jealous around you? Even when you are married or in a committed relationship?
Jealousy is a powerful force.
But what can we do about it when it enters our intimate relationships and marriages?
Our partner might feel an extreme amount of jealousy even though everything feels fine on the surface.
Your man might be completely in love with you, feel successful in his goals and aspirations, look like he is in great shape, and living the life of his dreams. And yet, we are emotional beings. Jealousy can creep in.
Jealousy is also a strong motivational factor to push us to achieve and improve ourselves.
It’s not always a negative force. But it can also be counterproductive when it holds us back or distorts how we relate to one another.
We can all feel jealous even when we are happy and content with our lives, relationships, and circumstances.
So, let’s investigate this powerful emotion in some more depth.
I’ll help you explore 10 reasons why your man might be acting jealous.
1) He’s acting jealous because he feels like he’s not good enough for his wife
When it comes to our partnerships, we need to be careful not to become too caught up in our ideas of possessiveness. Your man might be feeling like he is completely responsible for you. And if he is struggling with his career or feels like he can’t provide for himself and his loved ones, it can hit him very hard.
A man might base the value of his relationship on having an attractive partner, or someone who finds him desirable. He might want to feel supportive, kind, yet powerful, open to experimentation, or even dominating.
Knowing what you want and need will help you understand why you might be feeling jealous of what other people are
But remember, we never really know the inner dynamics of what goes on in other people’s conversations and relationships.
We should instead focus on what is in front of us. The more we understand our relationships and if they provide what we inherently need and can adjust and give.
When jealousy enters into our relationships it can make us feel undesirable or not good enough, which can lead to negative consequences.
If your man feels like he isn’t good enough for you, he might start to show signs that he is jealous of your relationships with other men or start to feel inadequate.
2) He’s jealous because his wife is happy
There are a lot of reasons why your partner might be jealous of his wife.
Maybe she’s spending more time with her friends or she’s getting ahead in her career at a faster rate than he is.
Your man might be taking on a high-risk, physical job that leaves him exhausted and underappreciated. It can be difficult for men to talk about what goes on in their daily work, especially when power dynamics are involved and when they feel the need to provide for you.
Your panther or husband might start to feel exhausted and resentful towards you because you can relax and enjoy life differently than he can, or work an intellectual job that he doesn’t have the chance to do.
But whatever the reason, try to notice how he might be feeling jealous:
- Is it over a financial matter?
- Or how you are spending your time off work differently?
- Or how you are spending money?
- Or who you are spending your time with?
- Or how you are treating one another?
The more you understand the root of the jealousy, the more you can understand the situation and help him open up about it.
3) He’s jealous because his wife loves her job
Jealousy can cause distance between partners. If you love your work and he finds it something that he dreads going to, a rift can be formed between the two of you.
If your man feels like he has to work hard at something that he’s demanding and that he does not enjoy or stress him out, he might feel jealous that you don’t have to go through the same experience.
Jealousy can drive people to distance themselves from their loved ones.
It can make us feel like we’re not good enough for them. In some cases, jealousy can lead to violence, an emotional breakdown in communication, or even separation.
4) He’s jealous because she’s spending time with her good friends
One of the most common reasons why a married man may act jealous is because he feels like he’s losing out on important aspects of his wife’s life. He wants to feel connected to you and hopefully, you have the same desire.
He may feel like you are spending more time with friends than he is and that he’s not able to have the same experiences with his mates.
It’s hard to find a work and life balance, especially when you are comparing what each other does with their time in a relationship. Remember to be sensitive to the differences that you might be going through.
Maybe you are going out with friends more than he is. Maybe you are spending more time at home relaxing than he is.
He might be feeling neglected because you are not spending as much time with him as often as you used to.
In this case, it’s easy for him to get stuck in a feedback loop where jealousy pulls him away from his wife and makes him start to feel resentful.
5) He’s jealous because she doesn’t spend enough time with him
Jealousy is often based on a misunderstanding.
Jealousy can be based on something that your spouse does, like spending too much time in the city or working long hours, or having opportunities that the other will not be offered in life.
But if you’re jealous of your spouse because they’re happy, that’s not a good reason to be jealous.
“Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own… Jealousy is a disease, love is a healthy condition. The immature mind often mistakes one for the other, or assumes that the greater the love, the greater the jealousy.” (- Robert A. Heinlein)
6) He’s jealous because he can’t do things she can do
Sometimes, we’re jealous because we can’t do what our spouse or partner does.
For example, if your spouse has a great job and you don’t, you may feel jealous.
Similarly, if your spouse is happy and you’re not, you may feel jealous.
If your partner is taking time off work to tend to family, or children or to work on a project, a partner can quickly become jealous because he might also need a break but won’t admit it.
The key is trying to find ways to communicate and listen and pay attention to what one another is going through.
7) He’s jealous of his wife because she looks better than him
Perhaps a man gets jealous of his wife because she has more time to go to the gym or prioritize her health over his. This might affect his self-confidence, especially if other men are noticing her.
When we’re jealous, we often feel that we have to outdo our partner in everything.
We may try to do better than they have done, or we may become critical of them.
This can lead to a lot of fights and tension.
8) He’s jealous because he can’t think of anything good to say about her
One of the most common reasons why someone behaves in jealousy is because they can’t think of anything good to say about someone else. There might be some animosity between the two people or someone may not like the other as much as they let on.
Your partner might be worried that they might not be good enough for his wife or partner or start to think that she might be happier with another man.
This can be a difficult conversation to have, but it’s important to remember that we all have different strengths and weaknesses.
And the things that we love most about someone might not even be apparent to them. But we have a way to either build someone up, or if we are jealous, we can start to make them feel less of a person.
9) He’s jealous because he wants his wife or partner all to himself
Some men become jealous because they want their wife or partner all to themselves.
This might be because they feel that she doesn’t share him with anyone else, or he feels that her relationship is not fair.
In this case, jealousy is a sign of insecurity. When we’re jealous, we often think that our partner is having an affair or is interested in someone else. It can be hard to see what we bring to the relationship.
10) He’s jealous because he thinks he’s been rejected by her in some way.
Often, men are jealous because they feel that their partner has rejected them.
This can be by not being supportive of him when he needs to talk, turning away from his sexual desires, or ignoring his base needs. You might be busy with your life or tending to your career and children.
Are you making him feel appreciated and helping to bring out the best in him?
This is a very difficult feeling to deal with, and it might be hard to admit that you’re jealous.
If you think that you’ve been rejected by your partner or spouse, it’s important to discuss this with him or her and find out why they might feel this way.
“Jealousy, that dragon which slays love under the pretense of keeping it alive.” (- Havelock Ellis)
But have you considered this?
Maybe you need to take a different approach to address issues of jealousy in your relationship.
Maybe you need to work on the most important one you’ll ever have before you can fix the others:
The one you have with yourself.
I learned about this from the shaman Rudá Iandê. In his excellent, free video on cultivating healthy relationships, Rudá reveals where most of us go wrong in our relationships.
So why should you listen to Rudá’s life-changing advice?
Well, he uses techniques derived from ancient shamanic teachings, but he puts his modern-day twist on them. He may be a shaman, but he’s made the same mistakes in love that you and I have.
And now he’s found the solution, he wants to share it with you.
So if you’re done with feeling less than worthy, if you’re tired of toxic relationships, and you want to cultivate real, genuine love, check out his simple yet effective advice.
So Now What? I still encounter jealousy.
Jealousy is a normal feeling, but it can become a problem if it’s not managed properly.
Jealousy can be based on something that your spouse or partner does or something that is imagined.
It’s important to have clear communication with your partner. Get to know your man. Get to know what motivates him.
Understand what his day is like and what his intrinsic motivational forces are. The more you understand what he is going through, the more you will know why he is doing what he is doing.
So, stay curious, open, loving, and try to get to know each other well. In this way, jealousy will have less of a chance to creep up and surprise you later on.
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
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