Have you ever encountered a guy at work who’s kind of cute, has great potential, smart, kind, but does just the silliest things whenever you see him around?
Maybe he gives you an awkward high-five whenever he passes by your desk. The thing is though, your desk is completely out of his way to wherever it is he’s going and there‘s nothing that warrants a high-five at the moment.
Or maybe he laughs a little too loudly at something you joke about and if you’re going to be honest, you’re not exactly the next great standup comic in this century.
How about a guy who you asked a serious question and he just kind of stared at you with a semi-smile frozen on his face.
He doesn’t act that way with other people.
So now you’re probably thinking, “What is up with that?”
It’s all harmless stuff, but if a guy is doing all these goofy things because he likes you, why doesn’t he just come right out and say so?
Oh, if it were only that simple for guys to say exactly what’s going on in their minds. Relationships wouldn’t be so complicated and women wouldn’t be left a little confused and a lot frustrated.
If you have a silly guy in your life — a co-worker, a gym buddy, a guy friend, or even an acquaintance — and you’re wondering why he might act the way he does, we’ve put together a list of the 10 reasons why a guy acts silly around you. Hopefully, this helps to shed some light on things they do.
1) He wants to catch your attention
He knows you and you know him. He’s barely spoken two words to you in person, and he doesn’t even say hi to you or maintain eye contact when you catch him looking. But when you’re both hanging out with the same group of people, he’s so high energy and cracking jokes and is super sociable — practically the life of the party.
A guy who acts silly around you wants to catch your attention.
According to a study on Language and Gender, guys communicate better through actions than words.
You can’t expect him to come right out and say he likes you to your face. That’s just not how guys are wired. And because he doesn’t want to seem too forward, he tries to act goofy in front of a group of people instead.
Watch him watch you: You can bet he’s paying close attention to how you’re going to react, and if it seems like you’re not interested, then he can quietly back off without exposing his true intentions.
But if you’re laughing at the jokes he’s cracking or seem engaged in his stories, then he might take it as a good sign and work up the courage to get closer to you.
2) He’s trying to impress you
You hear him talking extra loudly (maybe to the point of sounding obnoxious) and daring his buddies to a drinking match. Next thing you know, he’s passed out on the floor, or worse, puking his guts out and you find out from a common friend that he doesn’t even drink so much. Tsk tsk, boys will be boys.
Not all guys can be suave and self-assured like Hugh Jackman in Kate & Leopold, so rather than acting more like himself, your silly guy ends up doing silly things in the hopes of making an impression on you.
Again, this goes back to guys communicating better through actions than words. And unfortunately for him, it takes more than being a drunk “beer king” to charm you.
If he’s acting like a silly mess, ignore him and he’ll think twice before he downs another round of alcohol.
Otherwise, he might think you’re into it and keep acting the way he does.
You wouldn’t want to encourage any ridiculous behavior just to impress you, would you?
3) He wants to make you laugh
Maybe he noticed that you’ve been so serious lately. Or maybe you’ve been so stressed out at work. Or you’re looking extra sad and he wants to cheer you up.
Ever heard of the expression, laughter is the best medicine?
Well, when he’s acting unusually silly around you, it could be his way of making you laugh. He wants to help take away the tension, see you flash that lovely smile, hear your voice, and work overtime to put you in a better mood.
On the other hand, if you’re meeting him for the first time and he’s dropping cheesy pick-up lines and telling you jokes like he’s Jimmy Fallon, think of this way. What he’s trying to do is spark a positive feeling and foster an emotional connection with you.
Now, who wouldn’t want to be around someone who can make you laugh? Give him a chance and you might be in for some awesome, laughter-filled company.
4) He’s trying to show you he’s a man
Is he lifting heavy weights at the gym when you happen to be there at the same time? Trying to flex his not-so-muscular arms subtly? Checking out his invisible abs under his shirt when he knows you’re around?
“Whoops, didn’t see you there!” He says.
He’s acting silly around you because he’s trying to show you how masculine he is. Asserting his manliness is his way of proving he can take good care of you and protect you.
Yup, even in this day and age, guys still resort to acting all macho and think women fall for this manly man act.
You don’t need to entertain someone holding on to an age-old idea of masculinity. Thank you, next!
5) He wants to ask you out
He’s your brother’s best friend and you’ve known him for years. He’s always over at your house and he’s seen you in a ratty shirt and shorts combo. You may or may not have had a bit of a crush growing up… And he’s practically family. You get along really well, but he’s never tried making a move on you.
All these years, you think that he’s only seen you as a little sister type. Or maybe he subscribes to the unspoken bro code that sisters are off-limits.
Regardless of that, lo and beyond, here he is, acting all unusually silly around you. Perhaps he’s finally ready to take your friendship to the next level and ask you out?
If you’re sure that’s what it is (and we highly suggest you do some investigating here before jumping to conclusions), then what are you waiting for?
As Snow Patrol put it, “Just say yes” and go out with him already.
The best relationships always start off as being good friends.
6) He likes you and he doesn’t know how to act around you
He likes you but he’s not yet ready to show his true feelings and doesn’t know how to act around you.
Maybe he’s nervous about how you’d react if he told you how he feels. Even worse, his friends might catch on that he’s into you. So he resorts to acting silly, hoping to cover up anything he does that may be misconstrued as him liking you.
Don’t fret. Just be patient and he’ll let you know how he feels when he’s ready. Otherwise, don’t jump the gun and coerce him or you may risk having him retreat even further away.
He’ll tell you at his own time.
On the other hand, if you don’t feel the same way, then there’s no need to act any differently than how you usually do. If you’re good friends, then you can do him a favor and have a heart-to-heart talk.
If you really are friends, he’ll appreciate your honesty. If he takes it badly, then maybe you weren’t good friends to begin with.
7) He’s intimidated by you
You’re a beautiful and successful woman. How can he not be intimidated by that big and bold personality of yours? You’ve got him acting all silly and loopy around you.
Some guys find strong women super attractive but don’t know how to act around them. Others might not be attracted to you that way but just don’t know how to act around you, period.
By no means should you dull your flame if he likes you but is a little insecure. Heck, he probably doesn’t deserve you anyway if he can’t handle you.
But if you’re also into him, it doesn’t hurt to meet him halfway and try to show him that you’re actually a pretty approachable gal underneath all that. He’d be a fool to let his insecurity get in the way of getting to know you better.
8) He’s flirting with you
In his mind, his silly, little antics are his way of flirting.
Guys flirt in different ways and there are several reasons why he’s flirting with you.
He may not exactly have to have feelings for you, but he may be interested in trying to get to know you better.
On the other hand, he might not be interested at all and he’s just trying to play the game.
Proceed with caution and take the flirting with a grain of salt. You wouldn’t want to be caught making assumptions, especially if the guy is known to be a little (or a lot) flirty.
If you’re into him, there’s no harm in having a little fun and flirting back, but again, be careful if you’re going to play along with him.
You don’t want anyone getting hurt in the end. And chances are, it might end up being you.
9) He’s trying to be friendly
Some guys are just fun-loving and friendly. He may be acting silly around you because he’s trying to break the ice.
Maybe he thinks you’re shy and him acting goofy is his way to make you feel a little more comfortable around him.
It wouldn’t be fair though to assume right away that he has romantic intentions towards you, so keep an eye out on other ways he might act around you and other people. Because maybe he acts the same way with everyone else and there’s no need to look into something more than it actually is.
You wouldn’t want to make it awkward between you two, especially if you make great friends, right?
10) He’s a playful person
Lastly, he acts silly around you because he’s simply just a playful person.
Maybe he calls you a funny nickname. Or he wiggles his bum when his favorite song starts playing. Or he belts his heart out during karaoke night without inhibition, even if he’s a terrible singer.
Consider yourself lucky to have someone in your life who embraces the silly. Being playful does so much good for a relationship. It keeps things fun and light and there’s almost never a dull moment when you’re around someone playful.
Research also suggests that partners who are playful have a closer and more fulfilling relationship with one another.
Now, who wouldn’t want any of that good stuff?
If he’s genuinely trying to make you happy with his goofiness, doesn’t tire filling your life with so much fun and laughter, and is constantly connecting with you through humor, don’t ever let go because you’ve found yourself a keeper.
So there you have it, the 10 reasons why a guy may act silly around you
Any of these reasons sound familiar to you?
The bottom line is, you don’t have to take his silly actions too seriously. At the most, he’s just trying to be playful around you.
If he gets a little carried away with his silliness, bordering on offensive, then, by all means, you can call him out upfront because he may not even realize it if he’s crossed a line.
He may even appreciate it if you step up and tell him honestly how his actions make you feel.
But if he takes it negatively, then that’s definitely his problem, not yours.
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
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