We’ve all been there — that strange pre-flirting stage of a new relationship where you don’t really know how serious a girl might be.
Maybe she’s just playing around with you, or maybe she talks like this with everyone, right?
How do you really know whether she’s ready to take this to the next level, or even if she wants to at all?
It all depends on what you ask her. Here are 22 perfect questions to ask a girl over text to start to see if she really likes you or not.
1) “When are you free?”
The easiest question of them all.
A girl who likes you will be more than happy to get this text from you, because it makes her think that you’re about to finally ask her out, something she’s been waiting for for a while.
If she tells you a specific day or time, or says “Why?”, then she’s possibly into you.
2) “Can I talk to you for a second?”
If she likes you, she’s been waiting for you to approach her.
She knows the idea of asking someone out — breaking the barrier between “just friends” and “something more” — can be nerve wracking, so if you ask her if you can talk to her, she’ll think you have something serious on your mind and she’ll respond positively.
3) “What are you doing this weekend?”
Just an expansion on the first question, if you want to be more direct.
Weekends are prime time for the best dates, so you asking if she’s doing anything this weekend is an obvious sign that you want to do something with her.
If she tells you she has time, then she’s open to the idea of doing something with you.
4) “What’s your ideal date?”
Ask a girl what her ideal date is, and she’ll either think that you’re just being annoying, or she’ll think that you’re planning to ask her out.
If she gives you an elaborate or exhaustive explanation of her ideal date standards, then you can pretty much safely say that she’s hoping you ask the next question — would you like to go on this ideal date with me?
5) “Working on anything exciting lately?”
If she likes you, she’ll love that you’re showing an interest in her passions.
She’ll tell you all about whatever project or hobby she’s been working on, giving you in-depth explanations that she wouldn’t tell to just anyone who popped in to ask.
6) “What’d you have for lunch?”
A basic question, but with potentially interesting results.
It’s an easy way to see if someone wants to talk to you or not, because it’s so innocent.
They’re perfectly in their right to just seen your message, but if they reply and ask you about your lunch, then there might be some interest there.
7) “How are you doing?”
Ask anyone how they’re doing, and they’re more than likely to say something along the lines of, “Just fine.”
But if she answers with a rant, or a detailed description of whatever she’s doing right now, then it shows that she’s emotionally connected to you, and she’s revealing it without even knowing it.
8) “Who do you like?”
If you two are in school together, or you know each other at work, asking the question “Who do you like?” totally makes sense, because you have tons of mutuals.
And if she says that she doesn’t particularly like anyone, then she’s leaving the possibility open that she might like you.
She might even answer something like, “There’s this one guy, but I don’t really know if he’s into me”, and that would be the most obvious sign that it’s you.
9) “What’s your favorite movie?”
It’s rare to find someone who isn’t always ready to talk about their favorite movie to someone they like.
If you ask her this question and she gets excited and giddy, then there is certain to be some level of affection from her to you.
10) “What REALLY excites you?”
Give her the chance to really express herself and talk about what she loves; most people don’t share this kind of stuff, because they don’t expect anyone to care.
But if she really goes into it, then she might not just want to share it, but she wants you specifically to know about her excitement.
11) “What’s your favorite thing about me?”
This is almost a “trap” question, because it gives her a way to tell you something she really likes about you.
If she really likes you, then her answer might be something specific and unexpected, something you don’t even really know about yourself.
She might surprise you with her answer, and only someone who likes you can give that kind of answer.
12) “What’s your biggest pet peeve about me?”
Similar to the previous question, this question can also be considered a trap, but in a less direct manner.
We don’t really have pet peeves over people we don’t really care about, so if she has an answer to this question, then it means she either really does get annoyed by you, or she just thinks about you so often that she eventually found something that bothered her (even if it’s not serious).
13) “Have you been to (a certain store, restaurant, mall, or location) yet?”
If you want to pry into what she does a little bit, this is a great question to ask. It gives you an idea of how adventurous she is and whether or not you’d be a great fit for each other.
If she says yes to your question and follows up with a “do you want to go with me?” you’ll know that she’s interested in learning more about you too.
14) “Are you busy?”
This is pretty self-explanatory. If she’s busy, she’s likely not going to answer and ignore you completely.
If a girl likes you, she’ll carve out some time for you even if she’s particularly preoccupied.
If a girl gives you her time, even just five minutes out of a busy day, you can expect that she’s really interested in you.
15) “Are you going to (a certain bar, party, or event) this weekend?”
This is a great trick question if you already know the answer. You can gauge her interest, or more specifically her disinterest with this question.
If she is going and she lies to you, it’s fair to assume that she’s trying to avoid you.
But if she says yes and even asks if you’re coming, expressing interest in meeting you there and letting you know she’s looking forward to seeing you, then there is some level of attraction coming from her to you.
16) “Why are you still single?”
This question gives her the opportunity to signal her interest towards you more explicitly
. If she takes the bait, you can expect her to be playful and teasing, hinting that she’s been looking for someone like you.
17) “How can I look better?”
Physical attraction isn’t the end-all and be-all of romantic relationships but they certainly aid in forming that foundation.
What’s more, if she’s already physically attracted to you, she’d be happy to talk about it.
Girls tend to enjoy giving compliments so you’ll be sure to receive some affection one way or another.
18) “What annoys you the most about people right now?”
Confiding in a person and being more open with them is one of the ways we tell them we like them without telling them we like them.
This might even be more subconscious than anything else.
If the girl in question openly tells you things without any filters, it’s probably because she’s comfortable around you and trusts your judgment.
19) “What’s your favorite memory with me?”
This question, although unassuming, can be pretty revelatory.
If she enjoys spending time with you, she might mention something about a small but intimate moment that you two shared.
If she likes you, there’s no way she hasn’t gone through her library of memories yet and singled out the one she enjoyed the most with you.
Maybe she might even blurt out something you completely didn’t expect, like that time she saw you smiling across the parking lot or some other private moment she had on her own.
20) “What turns you on?”
Give her the opportunity to flirt and be more explicit with this question. If she’s keen and interested, she’ll twist it into something naughty and suggestive.
Otherwise, she’d play it off as intrusive or inappropriate.
21) “Do you wanna go out with me?”
What better way to know that to ask? This question is pretty hard to misinterpret as anything but a romantic gesture.
If she says yes, then you can already move on to the next level and start thinking about getting to know each other and seeing each other in a different light.
22) “Do you like me?”
Again, when in doubt, just ask. Why skirt around the question when you can just know everything with one question?
Even the tiniest sign of attraction will come through in her answer.
She might shy away, act giddy, or smile embarrassingly. Her reactions are just as telling as her actual response.
Make sure you don’t get friend-zoned
After asking her these questions over a text, you might already be sure that she’s into you.
Still, if you really want a relationship with her, don’t spend too much time in this pre-flirting stage.
Instead, try to focus on using a few simple techniques that’ll change the way you approach her, and women in general – for good. In this way, you can make sure you won’t get friend-zoned.
You can check them out in this free video by Kate Spring.
She’s a relationship expert who shares the most basic but effective, biology-driven techniques for getting through to women on a deep level.
Since learning about her, my dating game is stronger than ever. And the best part?
I actually understand how women work in love and relationships now. No more second-guessing, no more ending up in the friend zone.
There are no strings attached, just pure, valuable advice on upping your game around women.