How to pull away from him to get his attention (+ make him want you)

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Has a guy ignored you without you knowing exactly why? Or have you been trying to get your man to want you more?

If your guy is pulling away and you’re getting crazy about how to handle it, take a deep breath and slow down.

You need to come up with a strategy to get his attention. 

That’s why I’m sharing this secret thing called ‘ignore him and pull away!’

Sounds harsh? Not really, but I promise you that it works. And this will even make him want you more.

Why pull away from a guy to get his attention?

Most women I know who experienced that situation would overreact or make some stupid moves to get the guy’s attention.

We all hate being ignored, right? 

The same goes for those guys.

When you ignore a guy, you’re bruising his ego big time! 

This silent treatment is so awful and painful  – that it can drive men crazy.

And when that happens, they will start to find out what’s happening. They will try to change if they value you and the relationship you have.

This is very effective when you want to get a guy’s full attention. 

So the best way to get a guy’s attention is to stop giving him yours. 

Ignoring a guy works even if you’re in a long-term relationship or just dating. It’s also a powerful tool if you want to bring your ex back.

How to pull away to make him want you: 20 ways 

Now let’s start your mission of ‘pulling away to get his attention.

The key here is to start with yourself, ignore him the right way, then gradually work your way to getting what you want from him.

Go over this exceptional guide so you can quickly achieve such a tricky process of getting your man’s attention back.

1) Don’t be afraid to ignore him and pull away

Sounds easy, right? But it takes guts to take the first step and overcome that fear!

I know it’s difficult to ignore the man you love. You’re taking a risk that could very well backfire, but it’s worth giving it a try.

By making yourself appear less available and distant, there’s a chance he’ll miss and crave your attention again.

He might even think that:

  • You’re probably enjoying yourself without him
  • You’re a woman worth chasing
  • He needs to do something as you’re losing interest
  • He wants to be with you 

2) Try not to be accommodating

Seriously, in the early stages of dating, some men get turned off when a woman becomes desperate.

You might not realize that you’re being too nice and that it might give off a message of being clingy.

There’s nothing wrong when you want to appease him, but compromising at the expense of your happiness may make him less interested in you.

If you’re trying too much to please him, then he’ll lose interest if you don’t treat yourself with respect.

But if you change your behavior towards him,  he could notice that. He’ll sense that you’re starting to pull away – but this will make him want your attention. 

3) Make him feel like a hero

When I understand and learn how to trigger the hero instinct of my man, it makes him feel empowered and more in love than ever. 

This is because if you make your man feel like a hero, you’ll get his attention even if you pull away. 

He’ll miss you like crazy whenever you’re apart and make him want you more. Because you’re giving him something he craves.

The ‘hero instinct’ concept coined by relationship expert James Bauer explains why men fall in love with the women they want. It’s a commitment that a man experiences when he protects or saves a woman he cares for. 

It may sound silly because women today are empowered and don’t need a hero. 

But there’s an ironic truth – 

Men want to be a ‘hero’ in our lives.

But you don’t need to appear weak or be ‘saved’ by a man. You simply have to find ways to trigger his hero instinct.

Don’t worry as it’s easier than you think it is. Just watch this simple and genuine video by James Bauer.

Keep this in mind, 

The more you appreciate him and what he does for you, the more he will fall in love with you.

Check out James Bauer’s free video to learn about a man’s emotional trigger points and the words you can say right away.

Once you grasp how the hero instinct works, there’s no telling what heights your relationship can reach. 

4) Ghost your guy

Ghosting hurts – but he deserves silence from you. 

It’s simply because sometimes, the best response is not to respond at all. 

Cut off all means of communicating with him. Try not to message or call him even if you miss him so badly. 

He never expects that you would do it. And this will leave him so confused. 

Make him think that you’ve disappeared from the earth! 

Maybe that’s when he will see that he did something wrong. 

But since some men are suckers for women who ghost them, this may lead to feelings of an increased desire for you.

He’ll keep wondering where you are – why you’re answering your calls, you’re not commenting on his posts, etc. 

5) Ignore him on social media

Probably, you’ve been commenting on all his posts, viewing his stories, tagging him on your posts, sharing memes with him, or anything else. 

If you’ve always been his number fan and follower on social media, try to avoid engaging with him.

You don’t have to block him or unfriend him, just mute him.

This way he won’t know that you’re not seeing his posts, and he won’t pop in your feed to mess up your mission.

This works to pique his interest and have him begging for your attention!

It sends a strong message that he’s being ignored and you’re pulling away.

If you ignore him on social media, it will drive him crazy. And if you pretend you couldn’t care less about him, he’ll start craving your attention. 

6) Spark his jealous streak

Men are competitive, and nothing bothers them more than the good old green-eyed monster. 

Sometimes all you need is to spark a bit of jealousy to make them get up and go after you.

He might not see what he has right in front of him until you try to pull away. 

Try talking and flirting with other guys to see how he reacts. 

But remember not to don’t overdo this flirting game. Sparking his jealousy is a dangerous tactic that could also drive him away.

You don’t need a massive fire, just make it seem that you’re enjoying your life and there are other guys interested in you.

When he sees that there is a threat that someone else may take it, then that will bring him to his senses.

7) Be friendly with those that matter to him

See, ignoring him alone doesn’t put you at the forefront of his thoughts and make you desirable. That’s why you have to show your worth. 

As you try to pull away from him, strengthen the relationship you have with his family and friends.

Keep connecting with people around him. 

This trick signals that you’re turning cold towards him and not towards others.

It will hit him hard if you do this well enough. 

He’ll start to question why you’re pulling away from him. 

When you pass across a message that you can do without him, it will make him realize that he needs you

8) Grasp his weakness

A man will get vulnerable when he feels that his woman is ignoring him and pulling away from him.

He will get worried and will want to know why your feelings towards him have changed.

When you sense his worries, you can increase the odds of pulling away. By playing into his vulnerability, you can make him want you even more.

When a guy, be it your partner, crush, or date, notices that you aren’t into them, they will notice your absence. 

And that’s when you get their attention and they will try to get back to you. 

9) Follow his lead 

Guys think that they are hunters, but they fail to see that they’re also a pawn in their games.

When he’s been ignoring your messages, don’t blame yourself for his actions. Don’t ask him why.

Instead, do the same – don’t call him, text, or comment on his social media posts. 

Pushing and forcing things to happen is useless.

When you’re too available and when you’re giving him too much attention, he thinks that he always has the upper hand.

He’ll be more interested when he doesn’t hear from you. 

If a guy cares about you, then you should know that your being unavailable would put him in a dilemma.

When it worries him, you’ll get his undivided attention. 

Your silence could prompt him to be receptive to your feelings and understand you better.

10) Get relationship advice no one has told you before

I know how difficult it is when a guy you love has been ignoring you and you have no choice but to pull away. 

Years ago, I experienced a rough time in my relationship – and I desperately wanted tailored advice for my situation.

I was thinking of giving up, but before I did that I took a step I’d never taken before – I reached out to a professional relationship coach. 

I spoke to a coach at Relationship Hero and it was genuinely helpful. This coach quickly broke down the walls I’d built up in my relationship and helped me understand my relationship better.

My coach took apart every single lie I used to tell myself. 

That’s when I got to see how to pull away from a guy the right way – and make him want you more. 

My relationship isn’t perfect, but talking to a relationship coach made it a lot better than it was.

So if you want life-changing advice on how to navigate and repair the issues you’re facing in your relationship, check out Relationship Hero. 

Click here to get started.

11) Play his game

Guys tend to play the ‘hot and cold’ game – and it’s time that you take a shot at this mind game.

Your mission is to ignore him to get his attention.

To achieve this, turn on your most charming behavior, then be ‘an ice queen’ the next day.

He’ll wonder why you’re into him – and all of a sudden, you’re withdrawing out of the blue. 

But balance the way you’re ignoring him and giving him attention. You don’t want to appear desperate or act like a cold narcissist. 

Just give him hints that you have a warm heart underneath.

The key here is to keep him hooked and make him think about you more often.

12) Avoid exaggerated emotional displays

Most women tend to jump to conclusions and overreact.

Sometimes, there are instances wherein nothing is wrong, but women think otherwise. For example, he didn’t text right away or didn’t put a heart emoji on his messages. 

We tend to fall into this trap – and it’s the reason why men pull away at the beginning of a relationship. 

So if you’re exaggerating emotional displays or being too upfront with your emotions, that could be one reason he’s taking a different direction. 

Those constant complaints about little things can push him further. And that’s because he doesn’t want those constant whining for no reason.

So it’s best to choose your battles. Try not to overthink and obsess about every little thing he does and what he doesn’t do.

Be a woman who has a life of your own. 

13) Keep busy

Getting busy is a powerful way to pull from a guy you love but doesn’t treat you well enough.

When you’re doing things you love, it will stop you from thinking about the guy who is driving you crazy. 

The more time you spend doing something else, the less you’ll be bothered by his carefree attitude.

If he’s into you and cares about you, he will find a way to get your attention.

Besides, you will even gain something when you engage in doing things you love.

Perhaps you can:

  • Take a fitness class to enhance your physique
  • Be a volunteer in the community
  • Work on your passions and hobbies
  • Explore places you’ve never been to

Whatever it is, giving time for yourself will make him see how valuable you are.

14) Let him miss you

Yes, you need to pull away to make him miss you and think of you.

And make him wonder when you’ll be back.

Even if you’re going out for dinner with your officemates or driving around the block to do your groceries, make him worry about you.

He needs to think that it’s hard to live without you or how things can be better between the two of you.

When you’re away from him, give yourself all the time you need – without distractions at all.

And when he asks to meet you, make the time you spend together amazing so he wants you around more.

Earlier, I mentioned this fascinating concept: the hero instinct.

When a man’s inner hero is triggered, he’s more likely to pay attention and want you more. 

Just by knowing the right words to say to him, you’ll open a part of him that no woman has ever reached before.

The best way to do so – and make your man truly your is by watching this free video by James Bauer.

And it’s all a matter of making him realize that he wants you and only you.

Here’s the link to the excellent video again.

15) Put the power of silence to work

If you’re working in the same company or living together, this trick works like a bomb!

But it’s important to make him realize that he’s doing things to upset you.

You have to give him time and space to see what he’s missing before trying to reach out to him. 

Let your silence speak volumes! It can even make him miss you. 

Here’s the thing,

Men respond to silence and distance emotionally. When they don’t hear from you, their male instincts get triggered – and push them to find out what you feel. 

When you walk away and make him miss you, he will realize how valuable you are and come crawling back. 

So ignore him, give him the silent treatment – and make him want you more.

16) A little competition helps

Men crave competition and have this urge to win at all costs. 

When a guy notices that you’re ignoring him and you’re pulling away, he’s more likely to do something to keep you with him.

But if you’re always chasing him, you’re only pushing him away.

The moment he senses that you’re not dishing out more than he serves, he will feel that you’re not into him like before. 

You can even casually tell him that you’re becoming interested in a new guy you meet. See how he will react as nothing moves a man more than seeing his woman with someone else.

That’s the time when he will strive hard so as not to lose you in the end.

17) Live your best life

After you’ve pulled away, here comes the best part!

Go out there and enjoy the life you have. And this also means becoming the best version of yourself – mentally, socially, spiritually, and physically.

Be at your full potential and be intentional about the way you choose to live.

There are a million things you can do, such as:

  • Work outside your comfort zone
  • Be thankful for all that you have 
  • Laugh and smile more often
  • Focus on living in the moment 
  • Set goals and take action steps to reach them
  • Go after something you’ve always wanted
  • Read as much as you can
  • Explore new places
  • Build your financial funds

It’s time to live life on your terms, change your mindset, challenge yourself, and take care of yourself.

Keep in mind that you’re not just doing this to make him want you, but more so, for yourself.  

18) Feed his insecurities

This might seem a bit savage, but this trick works powerfully.

Here’s the thing,

Insecurity tends to shape our self-image and influences our behavior. He will feel insecure when he feels that he’ll lose you. 

So how can you make him insecure?

  • Share photos that you’re enjoying life without him
  • Don’t reply immediately to his calls and messages
  • Make sure he has no idea about your plans
  • Don’t tell him where you’re going or who you’re with
  • Look your best when you’re hanging out with friends
  • Laugh at his friend’s jokes
  • Do things without asking for his help
  • Talk about your celebrity crushes 
  • Don’t accept his last-minute plans
  • If he asks, keep things a bit mysterious 

Use that insecurity to get his attention, appreciate and make him want you more.  

And it can bring out the best in your love life.

19) Do something nice for him

Kindness can be a powerful, positive killer! 

Even if you have no choice but to pull away from him, doing something incredibly nice can make a huge difference.

But do things for him only if you want to, without any strings attached. 

You don’t have to call, text, or be available all the time, but be there for him. Listen to what he needs, and show your nurturing and caring side.

Attract him emotionally by being thoughtful and showing him that you care. 

It will leave him confused and guilty for what he’s been doing to you.

20) Focus on what makes you amazing

Live your life outside him. Getting too obsessed with a guy only makes you too desperate.

Know that your happiness doesn’t depend on him at all. 

The best thing you can do when you pull away is to reconnect with yourself

Focus on your personal life, your career, and your loved ones. 

By feeling good and looking your fabulous self, you’ll make him want you more. 

Since you’ve taken time for self-love and self-care, you become more amazing and desirable than ever.

And with your newly-found space, get out and have some exciting times with your friends. 

In no time, he’ll be left wondering what all the fuss was about.

Pulling away is hard, but it works!

In a relationship, there’s always a fine balance between the never-ending cycle of push and pull.

Pulling away and giving a guy space plays a role in how to make him love you more.

This space allows a guy to process his emotions and sort things out. 

And this space gives you time to focus on yourself and do the things you want to do without worrying about what he’s up to.

I know, it’s risky. But you must embrace it rather than fight it, otherwise, you’re throwing away your opportunity to pull him back and make him want you.

The key here is to fill your life with the things you love.

Trust me, he will realize your worth and come running back into your arms.

Wrapping it up

Pulling away matters because it reels him back in if there was ever a chance to reel him back in.

Earlier, I touched on the hero instinct as it’s the perfect solution for what you’re facing right now. 


Because once you trigger a man’s hero instinct, he’ll see you as the only woman for him. He’ll be compelled to commit to you and love you like he’s never loved another woman before. 

So if you’re ready to make him love, commit, and protect you – and take your relationship to new heights, check out relationship expert James Bauer’s valuable advice.

Click here to watch the excellent free video.

Can a relationship coach help you too?

If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.

I know this from personal experience…

A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.

If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.

In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.

I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.

Click here to get started.

The above link will give you $50 off your first session - an exclusive offer for Love Connection readers.

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