Have you ever wondered how you can tell if a man is in love?
Thankfully it’s not a matter of if because a love-struck man will inevitably give himself away. And it becomes even easier to detect if you’re knowledgeable about psychology.
So without further ado, here are 40 fascinating psychological facts about men in love.
1) He loses his appetite
People love talking about love, but something they neglect to say is that it murders their appetite.
When a man is in love, his body produces plenty of a chemical called oxytocin, which just so happens to be an appetite suppressant. The more madly in love, he is, the harder it will become for him to eat his dinner.
The next time you’re together and he can’t finish his meal, he’s probably into you.
2) He says “we” more often
A man who is in love with someone will, unconsciously, imagine thinking of himself and that person as being together whether or not they actually are.
Because of that, he’ll be using a lot more “we” and “our” and less “me” and “mine.” He would say something like “We should go meet up at the park later” instead of “I’d like to meet up with you at the park later.”
These things are subtle and he might even blush when he catches himself saying “we” more often.
3) He’ll try to be useful
A man who’s deeply in love will be willing to be as useful as he could be for the woman his heart beats for. That’s because men have what we call Hero Instinct, their primal desire to make the girl of their dreams happy.
He might take extra hours at work so that you can rest easy, even if it means he won’t be able to spend as much time with you as he should.
4) He just can’t stay mad at you
No relationship is without its problems, and there are bound to be times when he would get mad at the very person he loves most dearly. But the thing is that he just can’t stay mad with you!
Maybe you’d get into a big argument and then overhear him grumbling about how he’s ‘had enough and is determined to hate you… but three days later, he’s back to gushing over you.
5) He finds pain easier to bear when you’re around
Whether it’s a bruised knee, a burn, or a papercut, a man in love will be able to handle pain better than someone who isn’t. Especially so if he’s near the object of his affections!
Love is a natural painkiller, and a study done by Stanford University suggests that love acts almost like a drug in how it tells the brain to ignore pain.
If he stubbed his toe yet he’s totally fine when you’re around, maybe he’s showing off, and maybe he really can’t feel that much pain because you’re there.
6) His judgment is impaired
Another thing that drugs and love have in common is their ability to mess with people’s ability to make rational decisions.
When a man is in love, his brain produces an overabundance of chemicals that keeps him happy and biased towards seeing things in a positive light. Because of this, he might even find enjoyment in things that he would normally shrug off as long as you’re there with him.
He’d become a daredevil in an instant even if he used to be scared of even the smallest things.
7) He seems high on drugs
Some of the chemicals that the brain pumps out like mad when a man’s deeply in love are not too different from the same recreational drugs that are abused and outlawed.
Don’t be too surprised to see a man in love acting like he’s walking on clouds, obsessed, and addicted. He might as well be!
8) He gets possessive
According to evolutionary psychology, jealousy is part of our nature, found in people all over the world. It evolved to motivate “mate guarding” —something that can solve an ancient adaptive problem: infidelity.
If he truly is in love with you, he won’t be able to resist feeling a little bit possessive. It doesn’t matter if you’re a thing already or not—he wants you, and he can’t stand the thought of losing you to another.
And if he ever gets the impression that he might lose you, he’ll try even harder to catch your eye.
9) Sex isn’t everything for him
There’s this idea that guys have nothing inside of their heads but sex, sex, and more sex. But that’s just not the case!
It can’t be denied that guys generally have a strong sex drive, but for a guy who’s madly in love, sex is secondary to being together with you. He might even consider cuddling to be better than sex.
10) He’ll hunger for your touch
A man deeply in love can’t help but desire physical intimacy with you. Being with you especially if your relationship is still new, will kick his sex drive into overdrive, and this is especially jarring if he’s normally the kind who couldn’t care less for sex.
He doesn’t want to have sex with you simply because he wants to have sex. He wants it because it’s with you.
If you just made love, he’ll still want more of that kind of feeling. This is why he wants to be touched, may it be soft kisses, cuddles, or massages.
11) He tries to understand your feelings
A man who is in love is the most curious man in the world. He’ll want to understand you and your feelings, to know what makes you happy and what he can do for you when you’re sad.
Whether or not you’re already a couple, he would be always willing to hear what you have to say and be there to offer you comfort.
12) He wants to protect you
Men are naturally inclined to protect the women they love. He will do his best to make sure you’re safe and will stand up for you at every opportunity he could get.
Men these days might be less eager to play the role of the protector, especially since it can be insulting towards women who want to make their independence known, but that desire will still remain deep inside.
If you spot clear signs that a guy is protective of you, he’s deeply in love with you.
13) He will mimic you
All of us like different things, and sometimes what you like might not be 100% his taste. However, a man who is in love with you will try to want the things you want. It can be a little creepy but he’s really not doing it on purpose.
It’s called mimicry, which is caused by our innate need to be in sync. He will start to like the things you like and he’ll even start to act and sound like you.
14) He’s an open book
Men who are in love will want to do their best to form a connection with you, and if that means opening himself to you, then he will do it, even if not all at once.
If he has been hurt before, he’d be careful about what he shares at first. But he’ll open up sooner or later if he finds you worthy.
15) He’s always around
Call for him and he’ll be there for you. Go on an outing, and he’ll ask if he can come. A guy who’s madly in love can’t resist wanting to be around you all the time.
Your very presence is intoxicating for him, and he’ll crave for this feeling more and more.
16) He respects you
Respect is one of the few things separating obsession and love.
If he follows you around but doesn’t know to respect your wishes, then that’s just obsession. A man who truly loves you would respect you for who you are, so if you were to tell him to stop or if you have an opinion he doesn’t agree with, then he’ll let it be.
17) He prioritizes you (within reason)
When he has to choose between you and another, he’ll always choose you unless there’s a strong reason for him to decide otherwise. If he had to choose between you and a childhood friend to chill on a Friday night, he’d choose you unless the friend visits once in a blue moon.
Just don’t expect him to abandon a funeral just to have a date with you.
18) It happens in a moment
A study suggests that while women can take up to 15 days to fall in love, men fall in love within 8 seconds. This is suggested to be because men are always on the search for a partner and don’t have to face that many consequences, while women are more careful because they face greater risks if they settle for the wrong person.
First impressions are important, but that is especially so when it comes to men and love.
19) He likes how you look
Studies show that men are visual creatures. So while a man who’s already in love with someone will care for more than just her looks—her personality and their compatibility matters a lot, attraction begins with the body. No ifs and buts.
If a guy is in love with you, you have no reason to be insecure with your looks because you already got that one covered. He already adores every inch of you.
20) He’ll notice when you wear red
There is one color that is known to make people more sexually attractive, and that is red. So if you want to leave him breathless, wear a lot of red!
According to a study, red can make women look more attractive to men because they are drawn to the color by instinct.
But of course, he’ll not fall in love with every girl wearing red. He’ll just notice it on you!
21) Love blinds him
Everyone is flawed, but a man in love is incredibly likely to tolerate or even ignore your flaws. He might even tell you that he loves what you have always thought were flaws.
Maybe you’ve got freckles and have always hated them, but to him they’re part of why you’re so beautiful. Or maybe you’ve always had a hot temper, but as far as he’s concerned, you’re simply strong-willed.
22) He becomes a much better man
It’s true what they say being in love can change a person. Love changes a person’s brain chemistry that it becomes easier for a person in love to stop an addiction—whether it be from cigarettes, alcohol, or sex.
This is the reason why many alcoholics do not get “caught” until later in the relationship because it’s so easy for them to quit and “put their best foot forward” in the beginning. As time goes on and their brain’s chemistry goes back to normal, that’s when it gets really hard. But hey, that’s when we can see the power of true love.
23) He’ll get less things done
If a man has an obsessive personality, he will be so caught up thinking about you that he won’t get much done.
He can’t resist checking his phone to see if you’ve sent him a message. In case he manages to resist, he will be so distracted that he can’t focus on his task at hand!
It’s entirely up to you to decide whether this is a good thing or not.
24) He’ll cling to you
A man in love, especially if he’s insecure and has an anxious attachment style, will want to claim the object of their affections and make sure they’ll stay together forever. This means that, every opportunity he gets, he will want to hold your hand, touch you, and stay close to you.
He will need constant reassurance and fast replies. All he cares about is your love until the love chemicals wear off.
25) He’d rather show than tell
While not a hard and fast rule, men tend to be intimidated at the idea of being openly romantic or emotional. Society expects men to be stoic, and being emotional can be uncomfortable for men because they are taught that it’s a sign of weakness.
Pay attention instead to the things he does for your sake—like walking your dog or surprising you with a good meal— because it’s there that he shows his affections.
26) Being in love stresses him out
It’s normal for men who are in love to be a nervous wreck. The reason for this is because being in love fills the brain with the stress hormone cortisol. As far as the body is concerned, there’s no difference between being in love and being stressed.
Because of this, one of the best things you can do to a man who’s in love with you is to reassure him and make him comfortable.
27) He’ll hold on to every compliment he gets
As a rule of thumb, men are incredibly lonely and attention-starved. They will remember even the smallest genuine compliment they get for years and, if that compliment just so happens to have come from someone they love, they will hold it close to their hearts and never forget it.
If you think his hair looks sexy, tell him. He won’t forget it, especially if the compliment is from someone he’s head over heels in love with.
28) Chocolate will make him fall deeper in love
Romance and chocolate go hand in hand, and for good reason. Chocolate contains a hormone that’s associated with feelings of love and romance—and is naturally produced by our bodies whenever we’re in a romantic mood.
While chocolate alone will not make a man fall in love, chocolate will help intensify any romantic feelings he may have towards you at that moment. You might want to have some chocolate on hand all the time for this reason.
#29 He might already know if he wants to marry you
If a guy is over 30 and you’ve been seeing him for quite a while, chances are he already knows that he wants to marry you.
According to a study, it takes around six months for a person to know if they’re dating someone who’s marriage material.
If you’re still together after six months, don’t be surprised if he’ll pop the question anytime, especially if you do these tricks.
30) He might suddenly become guarded
Another unfortunate side effect of society’s ideas for how men should act and the lack of emotional guidance they receive because of that is that they will have absolutely no idea what to do when they feel strong emotions like love.
Many men would suddenly go silent or aloof in response, hiding or running away from their feelings rather than facing it. It’s probably because of his fear of rejection and abandonment. Sadly, there’s little you can do except wait for him to get more comfortable being around you.
31) He’ll fall harder for someone who reminds him of his mom
It’s a weird thing to think about, but guys are more likely to fall in love with people who subconsciously remind them of their parents.
I know I know, guys are weird.
According to John Gottman, we can become psychologically conditioned to being attracted to a distinct parental personality type, with the accompanying need for love, by the time we’re 18 months old.
We get comfort from what’s familiar, even if we promised ourselves we’ll never become like our parents.
32) He’ll be less worried about others’ opinions
We’re all concerned about how other people think of us. But the beautiful thing about love is that the more deeply in love a guy is, the less he is bothered by what others think. Everyone else becomes noise and the only two people that matter in this world are you and him.
But of course, this is all within reason—while you can get a guy to shout out “I love you” at the top of his lungs from the rooftops, it’s less likely that you can convince him to go to work in his underwear.
33) A break-up will devastate him
Some people have this idea that men pick themselves up after a break-up quickly and then jump into a new relationship without a second thought. While this may be true for players who don’t take relationships seriously, a breakup would absolutely crush the heart of a man who’s deeply in love.
In fact, there’s a study that compared to women, men take much longer time to move on if they’re deeply in love.
34) His ideals will slowly match yours
People say that lovers often end up looking like each other if they last long enough. And there’s truth in this—a man who’s in love with you will slowly pick up on your habits, understand the way you think, and even pick up your sense of fashion.
While this is adorable, it’s better if you encourage him to have his own opinions and keep his own personality. After all, you fell in love with that person!
35) He’s empathic
A man who’s in love with you can tell what you’re feeling and he will do his best to make sure you’re happy.
If he realizes that he alone can’t keep you happy, he will introduce you to people and places that will instead of forcing you to be happy with him alone. An example would be that he would introduce you to his friends and encourage you to hang out with them.
A man in love is in tune with your feelings and he feels miserable if you’re blue.
36) He’ll always try to find time
While it’s not quite true that you’re never too busy to spend time with the people you love—responsibilities exist, after all—it is true that a man who’s in love will try to find time in his life, no matter how busy or laid back, to spend time with you and for you.
If a man is in love with you, he can’t stop thinking of you and you can be sure you’re at the top of his priority list.
37) He’s probably holding back
There’s a common perception that men are “less intelligent” than women, or that they’re denser and less perceptive. The reason for this is because men are afraid of being wrong and getting rejected, and getting called a creep for even trying.
He knows he loves you, but he isn’t going to hope that you love him back just because you dropped a few hints here and there. He’ll want to wait until he’s 100% sure, without a doubt, that you love him back before he makes his move.
38) He’ll be willing to go beyond his comfort zone
We all have our boundaries, and we usually don’t appreciate it when people force us to go beyond them. But a man in love will be more than willing to go beyond his comfort zone by himself if it would help him connect to you better.
It’s the high levels of dopamine and other love chemicals that are fuelling his new-found courage.
39) He won’t keep you waiting
A man who’s in love won’t waste any time and respond to your calls or texts as soon as he can. He won’t play games and force you to chase after him, because he’ll be too worried that he’d lose you over it.
If he ever is late in responding, it will be because he’s worried that he’ll come off as a bit too desperate for you. Men are simple creatures. If they truly like you, they will show it and keep showing it until you get tired of them.
40) He will wait for you
When a man has decided that he truly loves you, and you tell him you aren’t quite ready, he will be more than willing to sit back and wait for you for how long it may take.
While some of them will try to find another girl to have a rebound relationship with, most men are willing to wait if they’re really into you.
There are slight differences in how men and women might act when they’re in love.
Some of these differences can be attributed to the gender roles that society assigns either gender, and some can be attributed to the way their brains are wired.
If you can spot many of these traits in the man you’re dating, then he’s clearly in love with you and considers you a keeper. If you’re not yet officially a couple but he’s exhibiting some of these traits, it’s definitely time to make the first move!
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