You like someone, but you have no idea if he feels the same.
Is he into you? Or is he simply being friendly?
Sometimes, it can be hard to tell whether it’s one or the other.
It’s such a confusing period, full of a mixture of feelings. There’s excitement and downright terror all rolled into one as you try and work out what’s going through his head.
Oh, the joys of new relationships!
While it might make sense to come out and ask them — people often lie. We can’t always trust what someone says, especially when they’re put on the spot.
Instead, you want to look for the signs they can’t help. The signs that don’t lie.
Here are 11 physiological signs that he has a crush on you
1) He smiles a lot around you
Smiles don’t lie. It’s one of those natural reflexes that people can’t help when they’re feeling happy.
Only a true feeling of happiness can produce a genuine smile.
Psychologists call this the “Duchenne smile” and most consider it the only indicator of true enjoyment. It’s a nod to the French anatomist Guillaume Duchenne, who studied emotional expression.
So, next time you’re around your guy, pay particular attention to his expressions.
Does his face light up when he sees you?
It’s easy to tell a genuine smile from one that has been put on. Make sure you’re looking for that heartfelt smile.
If this guy genuinely has a crush on you, then he won’t be able to help but smile when you’re around. It’ll be second nature to him.
2) He stares at you — a lot
Have you ever had that feeling that you have eyes on you?
If your crush is around, then it’s very likely that this feeling is a valid one. You look up, catch his eye, then quickly turn around again. Possibly blushing as you go.
What does it mean?
He quite simply can’t take his eyes of you.
Eye contact is extremely important when it comes to dating and working out whether or not someone likes you.
Next time you catch your guy staring at you, take a look at his body language. Don’t break eye contact – let him be the one to shift his gaze and pay close attention to the way he does it.
If he looks to the side, it means he’s likely indifferent (aka, not attracted).
Test it out on your guy and you’ll have an answer about his feelings in no time.
3) They go bright red around you
Another of those body signals we can’t help — and another tell-tale sign your crush is very much into you.
Blushing is an honest response that is triggered through emotions. It causes your glands to release the hormone adrenaline into your body, which causes the capillaries that carry blood to your skin to widen.
As that blood is brought closer to your skin, you blush. So, how does this work when it comes to attraction?
If your guy likes you then he might be feeling a little nervous when he’s around you. This triggers the nervous system’s response and sets off those bright pink cheeks.
Of course, people also blush for other reasons, such as when they’re feeling embarrassed. So, make sure you rule this out first before coming to the conclusion that your crush likes you.
It also helps to see how he is around other women. Does he blush when talking to them as well?
If not, I think you have your answer about how he feels.
4) Their heartbeat is rapid
This isn’t something you can tell just by looking at a person.
But you might notice it when you get up close for a goodbye hug at the end of the night. Make sure you’re paying attention.
According to Dr. Reginald Ho, a cardiac electrophysiologist and associate professor of medicine at Thomas Jefferson University Hospital in Philadelphia, when you catch sight of your beloved and your heart starts racing, that’s because of an adrenaline rush.
How exactly does it work?
The brain sends signals to the adrenal gland, which secretes adrenaline through your body. As they flow through the blood, it causes your heart to beat faster and stronger.
Lean in a little closer he goes into hug you. What’s his heart telling you?
5) He stumbles over his words
This is another one of those nervous signs that a guy likes you.
He’s attracted to you and is worried he might say or do something stupid that will mess it up.
As a result, his words are coming out jumbled!
Be gentle with the guy. He’s simply nervous after all. Don’t rush him and don’t make faces that mock him either. Just be patient and give him time to get his words together and say what he’s trying to.
Remember, kindness is key. It doesn’t matter whether or not you like this guy back, it pays to be kind.
6) His pupil dilate as he talks to you
This one’s definitely a little harder to notice, especially if you don’t know what you’re looking for. It’s a subtle sign but one that carries a lot of meaning with it.
Oxytocin and dopamine are known as the love hormones in your body. And it’s these hormones that have an effect on the size of your pupils.
If your man is romantically interested in you, then he receives a boost in these chemicals. This surge in hormones is what causes his pupils to dilate.
It has actually been suggested that the bigger his eyes, the bigger his desire to reproduce and pass on his genes. So beware, you might get a lot more than you bargained for when looking out for this psychological sign.
Once again, there are also other things that can cause the pupils to dilate, including other emotions such as fear and anger. There are also excessive drug use, changes in light, and eye injuries.
While you can’t rely on just this sign alone, if you’ve noticed it along with some of the others, it’s a pretty reliable indication.
7) He has the shakes
No, they’re not likely to be uncontrollably shaking from head to toe. However, you might notice a little twitch in them when they’re around you. It’s the power of a strong emotion taking over your body.
Once again, we have adrenaline to thank for this one. It triggers the body’s fight or flight response. When you’re around, he might be feeling a little nervous. The adrenaline then kicks in and causes those little shakes you notice.
Next time you see him, pay close attention to his hands and see if you can notice a little shake in them.
If you do, it’s a good sign he’s feeling nervous because he’s into you.
8) He leans in close to you when talking
It’s all about that deep lean.
You know the one we’re talking about. When he tilts his body into you or angles his chair in your direction while talking to you.
He’s doing this because he’s attracted to you. He wants to pay more attention to you than anyone else around you at the moment. The more he leans in, the more attracted he is.
His body language is communicating his interests, without him even needing to utter a word.
On the flip side, if he’s leaning out during the conversation, then he’s looking for an exit. He’s not interested in you or what you have to say, and his body language is once again doing the talking for him.
So, which is it? Is your crush leaning in or out?
9) He’s instinctively protective over you
While you might not be dating (yet), he’s acting like a boyfriend through the fiercely protective signals he’s giving off.
When another guy is making you uncomfortable, he steps in without hesitation.
When you’re walking along the street, he wants to be on the roadside.
When it’s time to head home at the end of the night, he makes sure you’re safe.
This is a phenomenon known as the Hero Instinct.
It’s a psychological instinct within a guy, that is triggered when he has feelings for you.
He wants to protect you and keep you safe.
If you’ve triggered this hero instinct in your man, it says a lot about the way he feels about you. Take it as a great sign that your crush is definitely into you — even if he won’t admit it.
10) He’s flirting through touch
When someone is attracted to you, they have this intense desire to touch you.
No, we’re not just talking about sex (though I’m sure this isn’t far from their mind either). It’s the smaller gestures that could almost go unnoticed at the moment:
- The way he places his hand on your arm when talking to you.
- The touch of the shoulder as he leans in to say goodbye.
- The touch of your hand as he laughs at one of your jokes.
So, why does it have such deep meaning?
According to psychologists, there’s a body map that you can pay attention to. It starts at the hands and then moves up the body. The higher they go, the more intimate the touch is. At least on the front side.
When it comes to your back, it’s the complete opposite. The lower he goes, the more intimate the touch is.
Next time you’re with the guy, pay attention to the way he touches you. It’s a great indicator of what’s going through his head.
11) You just know it
There’s a lot to be said for your own personal intuition. Make sure you trust it. Try listening to your heart for this one.
What’s it telling you?
Perhaps you’ve already picked up a number of these signs, without realizing what they actually meant. Our intuition is great like that.
Intuition is what bridges the gap between the conscious and non-conscious parts of our mind, and between instinct and reason.
So, what’s the best way to trigger your intuition?
It’s through your internal dialogue. Try asking yourself questions about this guy and listen to your answers from your unconscious.
Another way you can pay attention to it is through journaling and finding some time alone to reflect on your thoughts. Sometimes we are so busy, we simply don’t take the time to just be with ourselves.
He has a crush on me, now what?
You’ve paid attention to all the physiological signs outline above and it’s clear, he likes you.
Do you approach him? Do you ask him out on a date? Or do you sit back and wait for him to ask you out?
It’s hard to know exactly what to do in this situation, but at the end of the day, it’s entirely up to you.
If you know he likes you, then there’s no harm in making the first move and asking him out. But, it’s important to note that just because you know he likes you, he may not.
Guys don’t tend to be nearly as in touch with his feelings as girls. So, while he’s giving off all the physiological signs, he hasn’t recognized them himself.
On the other hand, he may genuinely recognize his feelings but simply not ready to take the next step yet. Here are some reasons he might not have asked you out yet to help you decide what to do next:
1) He doesn’t know how you feel
Many guys aren’t going to make a move until they’re sure of how you feel about them. If you want to push the relationship along, start giving off some signs of how you feel.
Use the signs above and mirror them back to him and see if he picks up on them.
Of course, you can also be much more blunt about it and speak up and let him know. The choice is yours!
2) He’s involved with someone else
There might be someone else in his life at the moment holding him back.
In this case, he’s probably trying to ignore the feelings he has for you to try and make it work with the other person. He’s hoping he’ll stop finding you attractive in the process.
You can always ask around to find out if he’s already in a relationship. If he is, it’s best to step back and let him work out his feelings on his own.
3) He’s playing it cool
Some guys are just in no rush to date.
They are happier sitting back and playing it cool. They’re hoping it means they won’t come across as desperate and have more time to work out how you feel as well.
Of course, the problem is, they also risk losing you altogether. After all, we can’t just wait around while they play games.
If you suspect your guy is playing it cool, it might be time to give him a little nudge.
You can either confront him directly or play a little game yourself. Try flirting with some other guys in front of him. This will give him the hint that if he doesn’t act quickly, he may miss out completely.
What could be better motivation than that?
4) He’s scared of rejection
Whether he’s been burned in the past or he simply has this fear that you’re going to turn him down, it’s enough to put him off asking you out in the first place.
Let’s face it, we all know what rejection feels like.
We’ve all no doubt experienced it at some point in our lives. It’s not a feeling that anyone wants to bring upon themselves.
Once again, you have a couple of options here. You can make it extremely obvious that you have feelings for him. Hope that this encourages him to get over his fears and make a move.
Or, you can ask him out yourself. Take all the pressure off him.
5) He’s scared of how he feels
As we mentioned earlier, guys don’t tend to be as in touch with their feelings as us females.
While there’s no doubt that he likes you, he’s worried about what this means and is choosing to ignore his feelings instead. It’s often easier to push them aside and pretend that they don’t exist.
However, at the same time, you can end up missing out on something special.
If you really like the guy, then it might be time to take him aside and have an honest talk about feelings together. You might be able to help him get over some of his fears, so your relationship has a chance.
It helps to offer to take it slowly, so he isn’t plunged into the deep end from the get-go.
6) He’s avoiding commitment
What is it with guys and commitment?
Some of them tend to avoid it like the plague. It could be a matter of all his friends being single, so he doesn’t want to be the only one in a relationship (where’s the fun in that).
Or he’s simply afraid of getting into a serious relationship at the moment.
This time it’s up to you.
You can either sit around and wait until he’s ready to commit or move on and cut your losses. There’s not much you can do to get a guy over his fear of commitment. After all, any pressure you place on him will send him running for these hills.
What if I don’t feel the same?
Then there’s the other side of the equation.
You’ve worked out that this guy has a crush on you, but you don’t feel the same about him.
If he hasn’t spoken up about his feelings, then there’s no need to openly reject him. Instead, you can take some of the signs above and use the reverse to show him you don’t share the same feelings.
So, what exactly does this mean?
- When you’re in a group together, do what you can to avoid being alone with him. If you do end up in a conversation together, remember to face your body outwards to make it less intimate and give off the signal that you’re not interested.
- When you catch him staring at you, remember to quickly glance off to the side. Don’t look down or get embarrassed as this will give off the idea that you’re attracted to him.
- Avoiding touching. Of course, it’s fine to hug hello and goodbye, but beyond that, avoid touching him in conversation. If you find he’s going out of his way to touch you, take a slight step backward, or gently shake him off.
These are all subtle ways you can let him know that you don’t feel the same way about him.
Of course, if he goes a step further and actually asks you out, then you’ll need to let him down gently. Simply let him know you’re not interested and thank him for actually asking you — it takes balls!
At the end of the day, whether he admits it out loud or not, there are plenty of physiological signs you can be on the lookout for to help you determine whether or not a guy has a crush on you.
Once you have your answer, what you do next is completely up to you!
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
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