20 physical signs he is sleeping with someone else

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There are all sorts of strange things that men do when they’re cheating. 

But smart cheaters know how to act normal and pretend nothing’s going on. 

That’s why you’re better off looking at the things that even the smoothest cheaters can’t hide: the physical signs that they’re having sex with someone else.  

20 physical signs he is sleeping with someone else

1) He doesn’t get hard

When a guy is getting a steady supply of sweet loving elsewhere, his equipment tends to take a break at home. 

The main sign of this is that he always says he’s too tired for sex or, when you try, he can’t get hard. 

One thing to keep in mind is that erectile dysfunction occurs for a variety of reasons. It can be rooted in psychological causes or physical. 

But one of the top physical signs he is sleeping with someone else is that your man went from being a randy fellow to a starfish. 

Let me be clear:

Him not getting hard is far from proof or even a strong sign that he’s cheating on you

But when it’s taken together with the other things on this list it can definitely point in that direction. 

While you should not jump to the conclusion that he’s cheating based on his bedroom performance, you shouldn’t rule it out either. 

He can’t get it up, keep it up or even pretend to be interested in sex suddenly?

Sleeping around is definitely one possible explanation. 

2) He dodges your kisses like they’re poison

Another one of the key physical signs he is sleeping with someone else is that he dodges your kisses like they’re poison. 

When you try to give him a kiss he goes for a peck on the cheek or completely dodges, transforming the attempted kiss into a hug

It’s awkward and frankly awful, and it’s a common feature of cheating couples. 

They try to pretend everything is fine, but there’s so much truth in a kiss. 

If he does kiss you, what do you feel? Is there still some of that fire or has it gone cold? 

That can tell you a lot about where his attraction and heart is at right now. 

Your gut instinct is powerful when it comes to love and when it comes to someone you’ve been with for a while then you can tell if something’s on his mind…

And you can also tell if his heart is elsewhere.

3) He never helps you out

Men have deep biological drives that motivate them. 

These drives aren’t their choice, just like attraction is not a choice. 

They come from hundreds of thousands of years of evolution and they rule everything around him. 

If he never helps you out then it’s easy to dismiss as him just being lazy. 

But it can also be one of the biggest physical signs he is sleeping with someone else. 

That’s because he no longer wants to be your hero, he wants to be your hero. 

Let me explain…

There’s a new theory in the relationship world that’s causing quite a stir – it’s called the hero instinct

Coined by relationship expert James Bauer, this fascinating concept finally explains how men really think and feel in relationships. 

And it’s something most women have never even heard of. 

According to James Bauer, men don’t actually need a lot to feel content in their relationships. To most people’s surprise, it has nothing to do with sex. 

You see, men have innate drivers. These are natural responses that they’re not even aware of. But when a woman comes along and triggers them, it causes a powerful response. 

The result is a man who loves harder, commits wholeheartedly, and truly dedicates himself to the relationship. 

So, how can you trigger your man’s hero instinct? 

Well, you certainly don’t need to act like a damsel in distress or buy him a cape. It’s quite simple, actually. 

All you have to do is give your man certain signals that make him feel needed in the relationship. These allow him to step to the plate and feel fulfilled in his role as your partner.

And these signals are revealed in this simple and genuine video by James Bauer

The truth is, once you understand how the hero instinct works, there’s no telling what heights your relationship can reach. 

So if you want to give your man what he truly wants from you, make sure to check out James Bauer’s excellent video. In it, he reveals the exact texts and phrases you can use straight away.

Here’s a link to the free video again.

4) He’s physically shifting and shies away from your touch

Even the smoothest cheater has a hard time faking being into you physically when he’s not. 

For that reason, pay attention to his body language and physical behavior. 

Classic signs that he’s sleeping around and doesn’t want you to know include:

  • Sweating heavily when around you for no apparent reason
  • Avoiding eye contact and avoiding your touch
  • Acting awkward or uncomfortable if you put a hand on him
  • Responding to romantic comments with a laugh or silence

These kinds of things can be very hurtful, clearly. And they tend to show through even on a guy who’s trying not to show his cheating heart. 

As I said, him dodging your kiss is a big sign, and so is him dodging hugs and physical touch in general. 

When he’s cheating on you, sometimes even something as basic as a touch on the arm can be like an electric shock to his guilty conscience. 

If he’s acting really strange and squirming strangely even when you touch him, then you know there’s something odd going on…

So keep an eye out. 

5) He’s super tired from work…all the time

Your man may have had a promotion or be moving up the ranks at work. 

But this busy beaver isn’t just tired on weekdays or evenings… 

He’s tired all the time. Especially when there’s any sort of intimacy or time together as a couple going on. 

He’s yawning and hamming it up about how tired he is, cracking his back and sleeping in longer than usual. 

It could well be all that sex he’s having with someone else…

Then there are the showers: seemingly endless with you wondering if he’s had a slip and fall. 

What’s going on with him? 

Because either he has mononucleosis or an immune disease or he’s ultra-tired for a less justifiable reason.

For a pro-tip, look for signs of his hair being wet and him just having showered when he returns home from work. Of course he can easily say he just went to the gym and showered there…

Which could be true. 

But if that isn’t something he used to do and now he’s coming home a lot with a freshly-showered look, he could have been cleaning himself up at his lover’s place. 

6) He starts looking like a million bucks and changing his appearance

You may be with a very handsome man. 

But if he starts suddenly becoming more handsome and changing his appearance physically, then you have a few things to think about. 

If he’s not changing it for you, and he’s never shown a particular interest in grooming himself before, then why is he suddenly Mr. Style?

The reason is usually very simple:

He’s having sex with another woman..

Or he would very much like to have sex with another woman. 

Code: cracked. 

As Stacey Lloyd puts it:

“When your man suddenly becomes extremely interested in – or even obsessed with – his appearance, such as dying his hair, getting spray tans, whitening his teeth, and even getting plastic surgery, this personality shift out of left field can indicate that your man may be playing the field.”

7) He’s constantly doing extra washes

Smart cheaters take all their extra dirty underwear and sweaty clothes to the laundromat. But most cheaters prefer to just stuff it through at home. 

If he’s pretty confident you don’t know he’ll just jam a bunch of extra boxers and socks into the weekly wash and hope you don’t notice. 

Or he’ll scuttle down to the basement and shove in a few extra loads that have been soiled by his extracurricular acrobatic feats. 

Now maybe he’s just been working out more at the gym, which would also explain the extra exhaustion. 

But maybe he’s also taking his tamale to town for some regular side action and doesn’t want you to know. 

8) You catch him getting naughty a lot around his phone

Porn is everywhere, and your guy might just be taking a break with Brazzers on his phone. 

But if you catch him touching himself a lot around his phone, there’s a good chance it’s a woman he’s sexting with. 

And there’s an even bigger chance she’s also someone he’s slept with in real life as well. 

Men who are cheating are famous for hiding their phones when other people are around, especially their wife or partner. 

If he’s cheating on you by sleeping with someone else, the top signs of it are usually on his phone somewhere and how he acts around his phone. 

If he hovers over it like Gollum and alternately caresses it like he’s seeing the sexiest thing in his life then you can be sure that there’s something going on. 

9) It seems like he’s forgotten how to talk 

One of the other crucial physical signs he is sleeping with someone else is that it seems like he’s forgotten how to talk. 

He stutters, he stumbles over words and he has weird times where he trails off in the middle of a sentence and just stops talking…

Does he have amnesia or is he preoccupied and nervous?

The odds are more on the latter. 

And one of the main reasons why he might be so jumpy and forgetful is that he’s busy having sex with someone else and focused on that. 

10) He’s not turned on by what used to get him going

Another of the top physical signs he is sleeping with someone else is that things which used to turn him on in the bedroom no longer mean anything to him. 

Whether it’s oral, butt stuff or anything else, he went from being really hot on it to not giving a damn. 

You have to ask yourself what’s going on at this point, because a man doesn’t lose interest in his fetishes and turn-ons for no reason. 

Maybe there are other things going on in his life…

But maybe he’s also sleeping with someone else who’s giving him all he needs in the kinky department. 

11) He seems really inexplicably happy 

It’s great if someone is happy and loving their life. 

But if his baseline is more of a “meh” and he’s now over the moon with a spring in his step, you’re not crazy for asking why. 

Sometimes the reason is that he’s just gotten laid…

And he’s looking forward to a lot more of it on a regular basis as he cheats on you

It hurts to know he’s feeling so good while betraying you in such a cheap way, but it’s definitely something you should think about. 

As Sara Shulman writes:

“Does your partner suddenly seem happier just because?

“If you’re noticing a pep in their step and they’re coy as to why, something may be up.”

12) Your friends notice him acting very physically weird

Another one of the most important physical signs he is sleeping with someone else is what your friends and acquaintances tell you. 

If they see him kissing someone one the street or giving lingering hugs…

Darting away when he sees them instead of saying hi…

Checking into motels on the wrong side of town for no apparent reason…

These are all warning signs that he’s having an affair and getting action behind your back. 

13) He’s making strange and unexplained purchases

Another one of the top physical signs he is sleeping with someone else is that you find evidence of it. 

Unexplained condom purchases, restaurant bills that include two glasses of wine, a two-day trip to an exclusive bed and breakfast. 

I understand that no woman wants to reduce herself to going through the trash to uncover signs of infidelity. 

But if you’re looking at the credit card bills and your husband suddenly is buying all sorts of weird stuff and shopping at Victoria’s Secret, there are two main options:

He’s sleeping with someone else…

Or he’s crossdressing…

As Leanne Coffman says:

“Watch for unusual purchases or items that appear in your home, as these may actually be gifts from the other woman. 

“Sift through the trash for receipts and see if he’s dining out or buying drinks at places or times he didn’t tell you about.”

14) Cluster cues start stacking up

Cluster cues are signs of negative and unusual behavior that occur in groups. 

In other words it’s not just that he avoids eye contact or stutters and shifts his body away from you, it’s that he does it all at once. 

When he acts a bit strange that’s one thing that might have any number of explanations…

But when these negative behavioral cues start stacking up all at the same time, he’s clearly uncomfortable around you and trying to hide something.

In some cases he’s trying to hide the fact that he’s sleeping with someone else. 

As Shulman explains:

“Negative cluster cues can be your partner moving away when you try to go near, rubbing their back, scratching their eyes, or crossing their arms.”

15) He uses a second phone and alternate accounts

Another one of the top physical signs he is sleeping with someone else can be found in the phones he keeps around. 

If he has more than one phone or one number, then it’s time to start asking why. 

The typical reason would be that one phone or an alternate number or Whatsapp is for work. Sometimes that’s true. 

But as you can imagine, this is very easily flipped into a place for him to cruise for some side action. 

Extra warning signs include him setting up multiple accounts online and acting really secretive if you notice. 

16) He avoids eye contact with you like the plague

Even the smoothest cheater has certain physical signs that betray him. 

One of the biggest ones is that he acts weird and doesn’t make regular eye contact. 

If he does, he’ll tend to flinch or look away…

That’s because he’s not feeling like a hero around you. 

He’s getting his fix somewhere else, likely with the woman – or women – he’s sleeping with. 

I mentioned this fascinating concept earlier: the hero instinct. When a man’s inner hero is triggered, he’s more likely to get sexually aroused…

Just by knowing the right things to say to him, you’ll open a part of him that no woman has ever reached before.

And the easiest way to do so is by watching this free video by James Bauer. In it, he’ll reveal simple phrases and texts you can use to make your man truly yours. 

Here’s a link to the excellent video again.

17) He starts sleeping in a separate room

You know a relationship is in trouble if he starts sleeping in a separate room. 

These problems in the relationship may have nothing whatsoever to do with him cheating, but sometimes they do. 

When he’s having sex with someone else, there’s a certain emotional and physical distance that gets created. 

In some cases this can lead to him making excuses to sleep apart from you. 

He wants to come and go at his own hours and play around on his own time and schedule. 

The flipside of this is what I’ll discuss next…

18) He’s overly caring toward you in a weird way

As I mentioned earlier, one of the biggest physical signs he is sleeping with someone else is that he loses interest in sex, can’t get hard and doesn’t get turned on by you. 

But on the flip-side, there is another thing which can happen that’s quite strange. 

Instead of being evasive or distant, he comes on overly strong. 

He’s suddenly super into you for no apparent reason and cares about you in a way that just seems…

…Over the top. 

That’s him trying to get rid of his guilt. And there’s a good chance that it’s guilt about sleeping with another woman. 

19) He seems scared to death of PDAs

Public displays of affection (PDAs) are something that some couples like and some couples don’t. 

If you and your guy were never comfortable with them you can disregard this point. 

But if PDAs were once part of your repertoire and now are nowhere to be found, there are some questions that need to be asked. 

Why did he once love to kiss you under the moonlight after a night out and now he can’t get far enough away from you into the bathroom with his phone?

As Shulman writes:

“If you go in for a hug or intimate embrace and instead are met with a friendly gesture that you’d share with a brother or sister, your partner can be hiding something.”

20) He’s really secretive around you and others

If your guy is acting like he’s got something to hide around you and others then it could be because he really does. 

Those wo are having an affair are often wracked by feelings of guilt and a desire not to be caught. 

If he’s very secretive around you and others, keep your eyes open. 

Does he turn his phone away from you when you walk in the room? 

Become vague when you asked how his dinner out with colleagues went? 

Tell you he needs to go away for the weekend but seem unable to provide specifics of why or where?

That’s the kind of secrecy that often thinly disguises an affair. 

When physical and mental combine

As medical science is increasingly discovering, the physical and mental are intrinsically linked. That’s been known since ancient China and Mesopotamia, not to mention ancient Egypt, Greece and Arabia…

What this means is that physical healthiness and activity can have a direct bearing on mental health, and vice versa. 

In terms of cheating, this also means that there are many times that his physical and mental signs combine into one. 

Common examples include:

  • He’s hiding things from you and also acting very fidgety, sweating heavily and breathing shallowly…
  • He’s making excuses about where he was last night and his body language is very odd and uncomfortable…
  • He’s saying he wants to sleep in a separate room because his schedule changes and he doesn’t want to wake you up when he comes in late, but negative cluster cues are popping up the whole time…

And so on…

When his mental anxiety causes him to also have a lot of physical signs, you can be sure something is going on. 

It’s not necessarily cheating, but if other signs are showing up that make you suspicious in terms of some of the other classic signs of cheating, then you need to keep it in mind. 

When the classic signs are combined with physical symptoms like erectile dysfunction, nervousness, negative cluster cues and more, then you know something is up…

These other classic signs include: 

  • Always coming home late from work
  • Getting close with a female colleague or friend
  • Getting angry at you and starting fights for no reason
  • Losing all interest in romantic gestures and taking you out
  • Hiding his social media and internet history

And more. 

When these combine with the physical symptoms I’ve mentioned above, you have a real problem on your hands. 

Why isn’t he into you anymore?

When you’re with someone you care about, and he cheats on you, it’s devastating. 

It’s tempting to figure out why he isn’t into you anymore and find out how this all went so wrong…

But maybe you need to take a different approach to fixing your relationship.

Maybe you need to work on the most important one you’ll ever have, before you can fix the others:

The one you have with yourself. 

And one of the best ways you can do this through meditation. 

It only takes less than 20 minutes to sit down, relax, and reflect about how you can be better. 

In the end, you’ll realize that it doesn’t really matter if he’s not into you anymore — what matters is that you love yourself, and no man can ever take that away from you.

Click here to access the free meditation.

Can a relationship coach help you too?

If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.

I know this from personal experience…

A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.

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I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.

Click here to get started.

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