Dating a partner who needs constant reassurance can be challenging and sometimes a frustrating experience. They may feel insecure and get hurt by the littlest things.
This can be difficult and may even seem like an inconvenience, especially if you’re not like that. But do keep in mind that in any relationship, monogamous or polyamorous, reassurance is necessary.
In cases of romantic relationships, reassurance of love from your partner is a validating factor that eases your worries and fears surrounding your relationship. Reassurance is that tiny but strong voice in your mind that whispers, “I am in a good state in my relationship, and there is nothing to worry about.”
If you’re dating someone who’s constantly seeking reassurance from you, you’re in luck! Because in this article, we’ll discuss different ways how to deal with a partner who needs it constantly.
1) Practice a lot of patience
Patience, patience, patience. As I said earlier, having to constantly reassure your partner can be challenging and get really frustrating from time to time – especially if you’re a busy person. This is why patience is a virtue you must have.
When your partner gets easily anxious about your relationship, one of the best things you can do is try to be as patient as possible and tell them things will be okay.
You can’t simply fight fire with fire and argue with them because that will only lead to the downfall of your supposedly lasting connection.
Now, I know this is easier said than done, but if you truly want to make it work with your partner, you have to have patience. A lot of it.
2) Focus on building trust
Speaking of patience, in dating a partner who constantly needs to be reassured, you must also have the patience to understand them and build trust.
Now, we all know that trust is one of the foundations of a long-lasting relationship. However, despite the love you and your partner have, building it could take a while – especially if your partner is not the trusting type.
So what do you do?
Try not to give your partner a reason to worry more than they already do about your relationship.
If they allow you to go to a party where your ex is present or that company party where you bond with your female workmates, be mindful of your actions and do not ruin your partner’s trust.
Chances are, your partner will realize that there is no need to doubt, and they will trust in you and your relationship.
3) Talk to a relationship coach
While this article will shed light on what you can do when your partner needs constant reassurance, it can be helpful to speak to a relationship coach about your situation.
With a professional relationship coach, you can get advice tailored to your unique situation…
Relationship Hero is a popular site where highly trained relationship coaches help people work through complex relationship issues, like insecurity or trust issues. Their popularity boils down to how skilled their coaches are.
Why am I so confident that they can help you?
Well, after recently experiencing a tough patch in my own relationship, I reached out to them for help. From the moment I got in touch, I was given genuine, helpful advice, and was finally able to see my relationship issues with real clarity.
I was blown away by how kind and empathetic my coach was.
Within minutes, you could be receiving life-changing advice on how to navigate and repair the issues you’re facing in your relationship.
4) Pay them lots of compliments
So let’s say your partner is starting to trust you more. Another thing you can do to earn that trust and make them feel secure is to be vocal.
“You look extra beautiful today,” “Thank you for being the most supportive partner,” and “You are the sweetest person I know” are just some of the simple compliments that you could tell your partner to let their worries and anxiousness melt away.
Don’t be afraid to express your positive thoughts about your partner, including their appearance, personality, how they cook food excellently, and many more.
You may find it too cheesy or cliché, but these simple words could help reassure your partner that you are committed and sincere about your relationship.
5) Offer them sweet, pleasant, and sincere gestures
But, of course, actions speak louder than words. As cliché as it may seem, it’s true. Sometimes words are not enough to reassure your partner.
While having candle-lit dinners, giving expensive jewelry for every occasion, or showering them with a bed full of roses are thoughtful gestures of love, these are not the only measures with which you can reassure your partner.
Sometimes, the simplest things in life are the most romantic gestures that your partner will forever remember.
Holding the door for them as you walk into the mall or shop entrance, putting your phone down as your partner talks to you, and cooking them their favorite food could help your partner become more comfortable and feel secure in the relationship.
What you need to remember in having a constantly worried partner is that they need not always have extravagant and lavish things in life.
Sometimes they only need someone who will hold their hand and give them the assurance that they are loved and a priority.
6) Spend quality time with your partner
So you pay your partner lots of compliments and offer them sweet gestures from time to time. But are you actually spending quality time?
You can give your partner the nicest compliments and take them out on expensive dates occasionally, and they could still not feel secure. Why?
Because as opposed to what most people believe, reassurance is more than just telling them you love them.
It’s more than just sending your partner an expensive gift. Always keep in mind that of all the things you and your partner could give each other, spending quality time is what really matters.
Make the most out of your dates. Don’t just talk, open up. Bond.
7) Address the issues
Now, let’s say you’re spending quality time with your partner. Take it as an opportunity to really talk about the issue – why are they acting this way? What could be the root causes?
Is it something that happened in the past? Did you fail to make them feel safe? Was there ever a time that they questioned their place in your life? Did you do something to break their trust?
Ask your partner what’s wrong and try to really listen. Ask them what they like and what they’re not comfortable with. Make your partner feel heard and understood.
But most importantly, ask them what it is you could do to make them feel secure.
Who knows? It could be easier than you think.
8) Establish boundaries
Finally, in dealing with a partner who needs constant reassurance, you have to keep in mind that setting boundaries is essential.
Now, while it is important to put into consideration the feelings of your partner, you have to set clear and proper boundaries.
When you are with someone who needs constant reassurance, you may often sympathize and feel bad for them because you understand how difficult it must be to become constantly worried in a relationship.
Thus, you indulge them and go beyond your capabilities and out of your comfort zone to make them feel okay to the point that you are draining yourself.
As sweet as it may look, unfortunately, enabling them will only make the relationship worse. You do not tolerate what you think is unhealthy; that is not love.
Thus, it is essential to remind your partner that, at some point, you can only do so much in the relationship because, at the end of the day, they need to help themselves in resolving their own issues.
Yes, reassuring the other person about your love for them is good and helpful, but you should not allow yourself to be manipulated or controlled by your partner.
When relationships are only starting to bud, both individuals go out of their way to shower their partners with compliments, gifts, and nice gestures and reassure them from time to time that they are “the one”.
But when you’re in a relationship for far too long, let’s say five years and more, you become too convinced that your partner already knows how you feel about them.
Thus, the less you think you need to reassure them because you have become too comfortable and familiar with each other.
However, whether you are still in the honeymoon phase or have become too accustomed to your partner, reassuring them is still necessary.
It’s our human nature to have worries and doubts every once in a while, and that does not necessarily mean that everything could automatically go wrong.
Even psychologists acknowledge the term reassurance as a significant factor that could help ease their client’s anxiety or worries.
After all, human beings are never self-sufficient, and we need people we can feel safe sharing our vulnerabilities with, including our need for reassurance.
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.
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I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.
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