So you have an older, married woman in your life; maybe she’s your boss, your supervisor, a professor in school, or just some kind of acquaintance from your social circle or network.
Whoever she is, you can’t shake off the strange feeling that she might be into you.
While she might be exactly your type, the last thing you want to do is assume the wrong thing and wind up in an entirely awkward (and irreversible) mess.
So what are the exact signs that an older, married woman is into you?
Here are 12 signs to look out for:
1. She Constantly Finds Excuses To Be With You
If you find yourself seeing her a little too often than necessary, it could be that she’s going out of her way just to be in your presence.
Signs of attraction and flirtation aren’t always direct; it’s not exclusive to touch or direct flirtation.
Sometimes it’s in the simple, almost unnoticeable things, like hanging out in your vicinity, visiting the same places you frequent, or volunteering for projects that you’re a part of.
Maybe she doesn’t even know that she likes you, only that she enjoys being around you.
If you find her in places you wouldn’t expect her to be in, it could be that she’s trying to get closer to you physically.
2. She Makes An Effort To Be With You
Another thing you could ask yourself is “How far would she go just to be with me?”
Think back to all the carpool offers, the volunteers for late-night meetings, her eagerness to help out at work or even drop by your home when you’re not feeling too good.
There’s a fine line between general kindness and fondness.
People don’t go out of their way just to be with another person unless they really like them.
If it seems like she’s making consistent, conscious choices that will put you and her in the same room, it’s more than likely that she’s doing so out of attraction.
3. Her Behavior Around You Has Changed
Attraction changes the way we interact with people.
If you’ve known this person for a long time, chances are you’ll be able to catch changes in behavior due to attraction. Is she suddenly more caring, more touchy?
Does she care about how she looks around you now? Is she more playful, more open to flirtation?
As a married woman, she knows that you know she’s off the market. She’s acting differently because she wants you to see her in a different light.
More importantly, this married woman wants you to know that she’s very much open to being with you.
4. She’s Curious About Your Life
All of a sudden it feels like her questions aren’t so generic anymore.
Suddenly she’s looking to understand everything about you — from your hobbies to your childhood to your sex life.
She’s not merely interested in you as a friend but is actively curious about many different facets of your life.
At the end of the day, she wants to develop a meaningful connection, and maybe asking questions and learning more about you is the only way she feels that can be satisfied in the moment.
She wants to learn more about you and your experiences, to feel closer to you, in the safest way she knows how.
5. She Talks About Her Marriage A Lot
And not just in general terms either.
If a married woman is interested in you, one of the things she’ll do is make sure you know that she’s actively looking for another arrangement outside the marriage.
One of the things she will likely do is give you stories about her unhappy marriage.
It doesn’t have to be completely negative either; her stories don’t have to be about fights and bad decisions for it to point towards attraction.
She might mention her sex life and “wanting more”.
She might ask you about your opinion on marriage and say that’s closer to what she wants.
Or if she’s really bold, she might even outright say that she feels trapped in her marriage and that she’s looking for something else entirely.
6. You’ve Seen Her Seductive Side
Do her hands linger a little longer on your neck or shoulder?
Does she flash you seductive looks and inviting smiles?
If so, she might be actively flirting with you through gestures.
A married woman who likes you will let you know she wants you without being too forward.
She might not tell you she’s attracted to you but her actions will speak louder than words.
7. She Interacts With You Secretly
An older and married woman doesn’t have the same kind of time or freedom that a younger, single woman might have, so the way she shows her affection will be different — more constrained, more secretive, and more abrupt because she has to find small pockets of time in her schedule to interact with you.
She might also not be upfront about why she calls you in the middle of the night with hushed tones, but you can already guess what her reason might be, with her husband sleeping in the other room.
She’ll act like she just needed to talk to you for some reason, even if it could’ve totally waited for the next day or at a more appropriate time.
8. She’s Jealous and Possessive
You two aren’t in a relationship, but she hates it if you find your ways in the arms of another woman, especially someone who might be more age-appropriate for you.
If you socialize with a female co-worker or classmate and she sees it, she’ll immediately act passive-aggressive or even hostile to that woman, doing things like interrupting conversations or belittling the other woman.
And the most interesting thing?
She won’t even really realize that she’s doing it.
She knows she wants you but she just hasn’t made her move yet, and in her head, it’s not a matter of “if” she’ll move on you, but more a matter of “when”.
So any other woman feels like a threat, one she’s more than ready to confront.
9. She Tends To Turn Conversations Into Flirtation
It might be your superior at work or a professor in class; either way, this older woman who might be into you has a subtle way of turning every serious conversation into one filled with double entendres.
She’ll ask you in a flirty way things about yourself, maybe referring to your sex life (whether or not you currently have a partner), and trying to bring up intimate topics even when it doesn’t make sense.
She will also often ask you to check her out, asking you if you like her dress, her shoes, or if her top looks good on her or not.
10. She Hovers
When the older married woman who likes you is someone at work, it’s really easy to tell whether they have feelings for you or not, because they’ll always be around your area.
If you’re taking a quick break from the desk and find yourself socializing with your colleagues, she will eventually pop up and hover around the conversation, maybe pushing her way in and laughing at any jokes anyone makes.
Why does she always seem to come around to hover?
Because she’s always watching you, especially when you have no idea that she’s doing it.
She has no clear reason to wind up wherever you might be, but she always seems to do it, every single time.
11. She Tries To Isolate You
She knows she’s married, you know she’s married, and everyone else in your sphere knows she’s married.
So being seen with a younger (and attractive) male colleague isn’t exactly in her best interest, especially if she doesn’t know how you feel about her affection.
So she will try to isolate you.
She’ll think of reasons why you two need to be alone together; maybe you need to discuss some reports, or a project, or anything else that requires your focused and undivided attention, without the presence of anyone else.
When she does this, you can be sure that she definitely wants you to herself, and she’s trying to figure out whether you’re fine with the idea of having an affair with a married, older woman.
12. She Can’t Keep Her Hands and Eyes Off You
At the end of the day, we’re all animals, and we’re all triggered by the same base instincts. When we find another person attractive, all we want to do is touch them, look at them, and wrap ourselves around them.
And if you find her touching you and looking at you more often than necessary, then you need to understand: these aren’t things she just does by accident; these are things she does because she wants you to notice.
When you’re not looking, you can feel her gaze on you.
When you two are in each other’s proximity, she will always find a socially-acceptable way to touch you, graze you, or bump into you. She wants you to know how her skin feels, hoping that you’ll want more.
She Likes You: What Now?
Before you even begin to think about playing with fire, consider if this is actually worth it. Sure, it might be fun for a couple weeks, but think about the long-term. If you open this can of worms, there’s no going back.
How will that affect your relationship months from now? What are the repercussions of getting into an affair with a married woman?
Ask yourself these things so you can determine whether it’s more work than it’s worth, and save your neck from any impending chaos in the future.
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If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
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