Have you ever found yourself wondering why no one ever seems to want you? Have you tried everything and still no luck?
I know the feeling of wondering, “why does no one like me?” And I don’t just mean in a romantic sense.
Keep reading! Here are ten top reasons why people may not be attracted to you and how you can change that.
1) You’re not good at conversation
Think about this for a moment:
No one likes talking to someone who is boring and doesn’t know what to say.
It’s important to be able to hold a conversation if you want to meet new people (and even if you don’t). You might have a great personality, but so do plenty of other people.
If you can’t hold conversations or crack jokes easily, such as in social settings, at work, or even in a shop when buying something, then how can anyone be interested in you?
This is where practice comes into play.
What can you do to practice?
In many cases, it’s pretty simple.
For instance, when you’re out with friends at a club or in a pub, try and strike up conversations with people. Put yourself out there and ask questions about yourself. As long as you’re trying to be friendly, engaging, and genuine (and not annoying) others should want to talk to you.
2) You intimidate people with your intelligence, or that you come off as cocky or arrogant
Another reason why no one likes you is that you intimidate people with your intelligence or that you come off as cocky or arrogant.
It’s not good to make people feel bad about themselves or think that they’re stupid.
If someone feels like they’re being made fun of, or overwhelmed by your intelligence, then chances are they’ll just turn back and walk away. They might even believe it themselves, which can lead to them quitting a project if they’ve been working on it for a long time.
It gets worse if you’re “stuck-up” or arrogant.
You won’t be able to make friends that way and you might even scare people away. You may have plenty of friends, but if they don’t enjoy being around you, then it’s not really worth it.
The remedy for this is to come off as confident (or as we like to call it: self-assured), but in the sense that it’s easy to approach you and want to be around you.
You want to appear intelligent, but not take yourself too seriously.
3) You have been too nice
OK, I know what you’re thinking:
You’re probably thinking, “really? But if I’m nice all the time, then people are going to like me.”
You might think that it’s good to be the one who is always in charge, the dominant figure of a relationship, or someone who always wants to help other people. And who knows? It may work out for you sometimes.
This is true in some situations. But if you’re too nice all the time, it can put people off.
Because it can come off as overbearing (in your relationships) or that you’re trying to be someone you’re not. It’s kind of like being on your best behavior 24/7.
That’s not how people are in real life and it’s not how you’re supposed to be either. You need to let loose every now and then and let others take the lead too.
4) You haven’t had enough experience with sexual tension
One of the reasons why you haven’t had a crush on someone is because you’ve never experienced sexual tension (aka sexual tension in a relationship).
You might have been trying to make the relationships work, but if you haven’t yet in your young adult life, then it’s likely that the chances of doing so are slim.
Sex may be something you should consider more as well. It can be an important part of relationships and can lead to more closeness than if you were just friends with someone.
But don’t worry! With a professional relationship coach, you can get advice tailored to your unique situation…
Relationship Hero is a popular site where highly trained relationship coaches help people work through complex relationship issues, like dating and sex. Their popularity boils down to how skilled their coaches are.
Why am I so confident that they can help you?
Well, after recently experiencing a tough patch in my own relationship, I reached out to them for help. From the moment I got in touch, I was given genuine, helpful advice, and was finally able to see my relationship issues with real clarity.
I was blown away by how kind and empathetic my coach was.
Within minutes, you could be receiving life-changing advice on how to navigate and repair the issues you’re facing in your relationship.
5) Your body language gives off the wrong vibes
Body language, tone of voice, and how you present yourself all make up your personal vibe.
This is important because it’s a part of what can attract people to you or not. It’s a part of what makes you attractive or not.
If you’re giving off the wrong vibes, then people will be turned off from being around you. You could be completely alone while also surrounded by plenty of other people.
So, here’s the deal:
– Take notice of your body language and ask others what they think about it. Most of the time, people can tell if you’re being nervous or anxious, if you’re being confident, etc.
– Practice having better posture and making eye contact with others when talking to them.
– Watch out for how you’re saying something or how you come off in person (either online or in real life).
– Dress nicely and appropriately for the occasion.
This will go a long way to help you find out what type of vibe you give off to others. And if it’s not a positive vibe, then it’s definitely something that needs to be worked on.
6) No one can tell if you’re being sarcastic or not
You may think that what you say is funny and people will be laughing or enjoying it, but if they think that you’re being sarcastic or know that you’re joking, then it may not work out well with others.
This is why you make things awkward and no one likes you.
If you’re not sure if you come off as sarcastic, then ask your friends or family members what they think. Do their eyes roll back in their heads and do they give an “ugh” response when you joke around? If that’s the case, then it might be time to tone down the sarcasm and make a real statement.
7) Your personality is one-dimensional and lacks depth
Have you ever found yourself in a conversation where you’re so focused on making sure you sound smart and “cool”, that you forget to give people a chance to get to know the real you?
Have you been with groups of other people that are filled with fascinating, unique individuals, but somehow only focus on the one person who’s good at telling stories or making things funny?
We’ve all done this at some point in our lives.
Granted, you may not be in a crowd of people who are the most famous or rich, but if your conversations are always one-sided and you’re only showing people what you have to offer, then it’s time for a change.
Because really, your personality is about so much more than just being “cool.”
And how can people possibly fall in love with someone they don’t even know? If you don’t give them a glimpse into the real you, then they aren’t going to want to know.
8) You’re unconsciously insecure
I’ve been there:
You constantly worry about how you’re being perceived and whether or not the people you know are really your friends.
So it leads to you being more insecure around other people. Perhaps you can’t even go out with others because you’re so worried they won’t like you. Maybe you never share your opinions with others or discuss things you’re interested in because you think they’ll think less of you.
*This is a thought process that may have been caused by someone who has hurt your feelings in the past, or that could have been just a part of who you are since childhood. And that’s why no one seems to have a crush on you.
I know it’s not easy to let that kind of thing go, but if you can see what your issues are, then it will be a lot easier.
9) You’re too hard on yourself
You’re conversing with someone and he or she seems interested in you at first. However, as the conversation goes on, it becomes apparent that this person is not that interested in you after all. You start to wonder why his or her views about you changed so quickly.
And then, instead of just wondering about it, you start to criticize who you are. You don’t think your hair looks good today or your outfit isn’t that attractive or whatever else you’re focusing on each day.
This is a problem because you are only piling on the reasons why this person might not like you and you’re probably not even giving him or her a chance.
If you take a step back for a moment, do you realize how many things about yourself would never have crossed her mind? So, focus on yourself and the things that really matter.
10) You’re not being yourself
The last reason why you may have no one crushing on you is that you’re not being true to who you are.
Ever notice that people speak differently when they’re being fake compared to when they’re being true to themselves?
I know that it’s not easy to be completely 100% yourself since this may be uncomfortable for you at first. However, if you think about it, it’s a lot easier than trying to put on a mask or a persona and end up forgetting who you really are.
Plus, it means that people won’t have many excuses about why they don’t like you.
So, figure out what your insecurities are and make yourself comfortable with them. Then, the next time you go out with others, just focus on being the real you.
And if no one crushes on you afterward, then it was obviously not meant to be. But hey, at least you’ll know by giving it your all instead of wondering what the problem was.
How to change yourself to make someone fall in love with you
Now that you know the real reasons why you don’t have anyone crushing on you, it’s time to start working on becoming the person someone would want to fall in love with.
Here are some ways to change yourself and make someone fall in love with you:
1) Be true to yourself and show off the best parts of you
As I’ve mentioned above, you should focus on the real you.
The moment someone sees a part of you that conceals who you really are, they will start to wonder what else you’re hiding. And this can lead to suspicion and distrust, which is not going to bring two people closer together.
So, be yourself and if someone doesn’t like you for who you are, then he or she is probably not worth your time anyway.
2) Know your weaknesses and don’t let them stop you
Everyone has weaknesses and even though you might be ashamed of them, you should never let that stop you from trying to change and becoming better.
Yes, when you’re real and show your true self, it may get embarrassing or uncomfortable at times. But I promise that people will eventually warm up to who you are. After all, they probably had a crush on someone similar in the past, right?
So if this does happen to you, just understand that it’s for the best of everyone involved.
The key here is to change without hiding who you are.
3) Make use of the social network features (Twitter, Facebook, etc) to promote yourself
You can use tools such as Twitter and Facebook to share pictures or videos of yourself so people see the real you. This can help you gain popularity and slowly make a connection with others who are interested in you. And after they get to know your true self, they may just start to feel a huge amount of attraction for you.
Okay, this is an unconventional way of showing someone you’re being yourself but it’s worth trying.
But keep in mind that people can’t possibly fall in love with someone they don’t know. So, you will still have to put your best foot forward and try to get better acquainted with one another.
4) Have a style that shows who you are
Trust me, this is one of the most important things you can do to start changing into a person who people might want to fall in love with.
If you have a great style or look that fits you well, then people will have a lot of interest in you. Even though they might not disclose what their exact thoughts are at first, they will eventually give some type of response to your style and perhaps think more about you.
That’s when the attraction starts and eventually leads to feelings for your specific personality.
Here are some tips to help you get a style that fits you so well:
- Find someone who is similar to you in terms of personality and learn what he or she wears.
- Research others in the same industry that you’re trying to get into and find out what they wear.
- Get advice from friends or family members about the type of clothes you should wear.
5) Be aware of your body language
This is one of the most underrated reasons why people don’t have many crushes on them.
Body language is a big part of how you come across to others. And since your body language will help you express who you are and what you like, it’s worth learning a bit about it.
Here are 7 things to focus on when improving your body language:
- Sit up straight with your legs uncrossed. This means that you have a sense of pride while still looking down at others when they talk to you.
- Smile when you make eye contact with other people. It doesn’t matter if you’re nervous or not, always try to look them in the eyes while they are talking.
- Don’t fidget with your hands. This will only make you look annoying and nervous, giving your body language away already.
- Keep a confident gaze at all times by looking straight at the person that you’re talking to. And don’t look down at their chest or eyes or anything else. Just keep your eyes at a level that is somewhat equal to theirs.
- Don’t be afraid to use body language when trying to show off your personality. For instance, if you want people to know that you’re friendly, then put up your palms in front of you and wave them a bit with a soft smile on your face.
- Have an open posture by keeping your arms and legs apart from each other for balance.
- Smile and laugh a lot. This will make you look kinder and more approachable to others.
6) Be proactive – don’t wait for someone to come to you
Don’t be afraid to approach someone you have the hots for. After all, you don’t want to keep staring from afar when you could be showing them how interested you are in them.
You’ll be surprised at how friendly most people are when you approach them.
And who knows?
You just might make a new friend out of it or even get to go on a date with someone you like.
The bottom line is that if you don’t try to make a change, then you’ll never be able to get the kind of attention you want.
It’s as simple as that.
7) Find someone who’s worth talking to, and keep talking
It’s important that you find someone you can connect with on some level, whether it be personality or values, or even just a sense of humor.
The moment you start talking to each other, be sure to listen closely to them and make eye contact when they are talking. This will show that you’re interested in them and what they have to say.
And once they feel comfortable with you, they might just want to talk more and get closer to who the real you is.
8) Try not to show off
Don’t show off too much. This will only make people feel like you’re only into yourself and that you really don’t care about what they have to say.
Write down a few notes about your personality that you can use when talking to others for their interest. Make sure the things you put down are the things you are good at, or the things that matter to who you are as a person.
9) Open yourself up to new experiences
The last tip to get people interested in you is to try new experiences.
You can do things that are fun, or exciting.
If you start to get overwhelmed with everything and you can’t find the right thing to do, then it is best to ask for help from a friend or family member who has experience in the same field as you. They will be able to give you ideas and even help you plan out your next big event with them.
Things take time, but the sooner you start to change for the better, the sooner you will be able to attract new people that you want in your life.
Hopefully, this article has given you some good strategies that you can use to start attracting the people that you want.
If you apply some of these tips, then your odds of attracting someone who is “the one” will improve a lot.
Yes, dating takes work and takes time but with these few tips, it should be a lot easier to change yourself into the person you want people to fall in love with.
If this article has helped you in any way, or you have other tips that you like to share with others, please feel free to leave a comment below with your thoughts.
Thanks again for reading and good luck!
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.
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I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.