What’s the point of having a partner if you’re going to spend your entire relationship complaining about them?
It seems like nobody can find a romantic partner that doesn’t have some kind of flaw.
We all have insecurities about ourselves, and this is normal and healthy. However, there is a fine line between being self-aware and constantly focusing on the things that you believe are negative aspects of your character.
The thing is, we should be attracted to those flaws because they make us grow as individuals; not repulsed by them so much that we cannot bear to be around them anymore.
Here are 10 things you need to do if your girlfriend always finds faults in you.
1) Try to understand where she’s coming from
If you catch yourself getting defensive every time that she complains about something “positive” in your life, then stop and think.
You need to ask yourself why she’s focusing on what is wrong with you – the things that make her insecure about her own life.
She may be comparing you to someone else, or she may even be frustrated with herself for not being able to provide enough inspiration to help you become a better person.
For example, she can criticize you for being insecure about how you look, but that may be because she’s so insecure about her own looks. The insecurity comes from a place of vulnerability.
Try to spot the bigger picture, and don’t get upset when she starts pointing out your flaws. Instead, learn to communicate the things that you love about yourself and work on becoming a better person.
Want to know the best part?
You can use this opportunity to work on the things that you actually do love about yourself. If she points out a negative aspect of your life then it gives you a chance to work on that and potentially become a better version of yourself.
Of course, it is far easier said than done, but if you really want to have that lasting relationship then you need to learn to stop reacting and start thinking about what she’s trying to tell you.
Let the criticism fuel your desire to change for the better!
2) Help her feel beautiful inside and out
As I’ve mentioned above, the reason why she constantly finds fault with your character is that she is insecure about herself.
According to a study published in the Journal of Research in Personality, “people are more inclined to criticize their partners when they feel that their attractiveness is threatened by a rival.”
So how to deal with that?
Well, you need to help her feel confident inside and out. If she is constantly accusing you of having flaws, then you need to show her the things that you love about her.
In order for her to stop feeling threatened by your presence in your relationship, then she needs a positive reason for being around you.
But it isn’t just about making her feel beautiful on the inside (although that is certainly part of it). It’s also about being physically attractive so that everybody wants to be around you.
Try going to the gym together, take up a sport and let her know how much of a turn-on it is for you when she shows off those fit good looks in front of all the other guys in the gym!
Make yourself attractive on all levels – physical, emotional, and mental – because this will help boost your confidence as well as hers.
By keeping each other happy and healthy in this way, there will be no reason for her to worry about what other people are thinking or saying about either of you.
3) Be aware of your insecurities and use them to grow
Maybe some of her criticisms are actually accurate?
If the case is that you do actually have some flaws in your character, then this is a great opportunity for growth!
Rather than getting defensive about it and turning it into a nasty argument, take it as an opportunity to improve yourself. In fact, this can actually bring the two of you closer together because you are growing together.
There is no feeling as good as knowing that your partner wants you to improve along with him/her.
A recent study at the University of Utah examined 25 couples over an 11-month period. The couples were videotaped while discussing a problem they had in their relationship.
When couples were able to focus on their shared goal, they reported higher relationship quality than if they were focusing on their individual goals.
The reason for this is because when two people start with the same goal and work towards it together, rather than starting in different places and running towards each other (or away from each other), they end up meeting somewhere in the middle where they can both be happy and feel accomplished.
So next time she points out a fault that she finds within you, don’t get angry or defensive about it – use it as a way to make her feel better while also making yourself better!
If something isn’t working out well in your relationship, then seeking a relationship coach can help you both work towards a more positive outcome. My relationship was nearly ended because of a similar problem.
Luckily, I found an expert in relationships from Relationship Hero who really helped me in the process and saved my relationship. They not only helped me with my relationship but also helped my wife and I grow into the people we are today.
To find out more about these relationship coaches, click here to get started.
4) Let her know what behaviors are deal breakers
If you feel like her behaviors are completely unacceptable and therefore deal breakers, then you need to let her know what they are.
However, you must do this in a calm and classy manner. Don’t call her out while you’re in the heat of the moment or while she’s in the middle of it!
If you calmly bring it up later when things have cooled down, then she will be less likely to get defensive and more likely to hear what you have to say.
If there are problems popping up on a regular basis then something needs to change for the better, either within yourself or within your partner.
It’s true that a lot of people who get married end up getting divorced because they realize that their spouse isn’t really what they thought they were.
This means that if there is even a small chance that your relationship may not last forever, it’s important that both partners know how each other feels about them, their relationship together, and how long they plan on being with each other before starting marriage plans.
Don’t ever feel like you can leave it unsaid because if either person is unhappy or misunderstood within the relationship then this is just going to build until one day everything just pops out at once in an extremely negative way!
5) Help her feel comfortable in her own skin
You might think that this is not relevant to a relationship, but it is.
This tip also deals with communication as well. If you can make her feel more confident and comfortable with herself, then this will most certainly lead to feelings of love and attraction towards you.
Think about some of the reasons why she might be insecure. Is it because she’s been ridiculed for her weight or her looks before?
Many girls put their worth into the way that others perceive them and if she’s been made to feel less than pretty or beautiful in the past, then she may not see herself as such now either!
You can help give her back that self-worth by telling her how beautiful you think that she is, as well as by trying out a few moves in the bedroom that will make her feel like a goddess!
Here are some tips to turn her criticism into praise:
- Show her that you think she’s beautiful by showing genuine interest in her.
- Help her feel more confident around other people.
- Offer her compliments.
- Listen to her problems without passing any judgment.
Be courteous and polite, not only to your girlfriend but to the people around you as well!
This is a good personality trait that may set you apart from others and make your girlfriend feel like you’re the best boyfriend ever!
6) Have a plan for your own happiness
Have you ever felt like you’re a part of something that’s just not quite right and you have no idea how to escape from it?
Many people are in a relationship because they feel like they have no other option.
The thing is:
The relationship is a two-way street. If you’re in a relationship and you feel like it’s not going anywhere and that there isn’t any real reason to be in it, then you have to come to a decision. Do you want to stay with this girl? Why or why not?
If the answer is no…then why are you with her?
Maybe it’s just because she seems like the best option for all the other girls in your area, or maybe it’s because your parents really want to see you married?
But if she constantly makes you unhappy and there’s no feeling of love or attraction and you’re in a relationship with her simply because you think that she’s the best choice…maybe it’s time to move on.
So in other words, love yourself before you try to love her.
Being happy is more important than being in a relationship and if you’re with a woman who compromises your happiness, then it might be time to rethink your priorities.
7) Don’t hesitate to speak up when necessary
I know that I mentioned this earlier, but trust and communication are key to having a healthy relationship.
If you have a problem with something that your partner has done or said, then you need to bring it up while the issue is still fresh in your mind.
If you let a problem or an issue slide, then the issue will only come back again and again until it is finally resolved. You can’t expect to have trust if you aren’t making any attempts to communicate with your partner.
If you suspect that there’s something wrong between you and your girlfriend, then first of all…don’t be afraid to ask her about it!
There are certain boundaries that she should respect, however. If she said or mocked something that you consider off-limits, then you can’t expect the problem to be resolved if you start blowing up at her or using profanity in your response.
8) See a couples’ therapist together
Here is the truth:
There are some things that people tend to keep to themselves because they don’t want to ‘rock the boat’.
If for example, you felt that your partner constantly criticizes you, and you can’t stand it, but you’re afraid to bring up the subject because you don’t want to be criticized, then this is where couples therapy can help.
If the only reason why you’re having problems in your relationship is due to the fact that you two are keeping information that affects your relationship a secret, then couples’ therapy is definitely going to help you clear things up.
I know that most people would say “just tell him or her”, however, I’d say that putting it off for too long can also have an effect on your relationship. If you’re waiting until your partner has already confronted you with a problem first, then what kind of example are they setting?
So don’t be afraid to talk about your problems with an expert. They can help you learn how to solve the problems that you’re facing and they can also help you understand why your partner is treating you the way they are.
It gets better if you both go to couples therapy, especially if you want your relationship to last.
I’ve mentioned Relationship Coach above, the best part about their advice is that it is tailored to your specific relationship.
They don’t just tell you off the top of their head to ‘be more aggressive’. Instead, they ask you questions about your relationship and they will tailor their advice according to the answers that you give.
Just give it a shot!
9) Learn to celebrate the things you love about each other
Don’t underestimate this tip.
I think that this is one of the most important tips on how to make your relationship work in the long run.
If you want to keep your relationship healthy and happy, then you should also make an effort to learn to celebrate the little things.
Ex: while she’s getting dressed, click a picture of her or a pic of the Internet, and send her a picture of how she looks before leaving for work.
Even if it’s just sending her a text message or making a video saying “I love you so much” will help.
Even if it’s something small like sending a gift card for ice cream for her birthday after she gets home from work can go a long way!
I know that I’ve also mentioned above that most couples really don’t appreciate each other, but telling each other that you love them is crucial! If you’re not doing this ALL the time, then what kind of example are you setting?
You don’t have to be cheesy about it too!
You can send out those texts and videos without saying anything special about them.
If we take for example, “texting her”, then chances are good that she might take a while before answering back.
So instead of waiting around for months before getting an answer back; why not send out some signals today? You two will be much happier in the long run if you do what I’ve mentioned above!
10) Take a break from each other
Maybe you try everything and she keeps finding fault in something that you do.
Then sometimes it’s appropriate for you to take a break from each other for a little while, just to see what happens. Try if you know in your heart that this is the best option for both of you.
If she makes you feel bad or she is constantly criticizing what you do or how you act and you want to stay with her, then this tip isn’t going to work.
It might be difficult at first, but I think it’s worth the effort if it’s going to help your relationship.
You can use the no contact rule during this time to give you a chance to step back and look at the situation from a distance. If you can only think of good things about your girlfriend when you’re apart, then it might be time to get back together.
Also, she can have time to think about what you have to give her, and you can also think about whether or not she’s the one for you.
This tip certainly won’t work every time, but sometimes it really helps especially if your girlfriend has been acting this way ever since she was a child.
It’s not always your fault!
Hopefully, you learned how to deal with a difficult girlfriend from this article!
All women are different, so this doesn’t mean that everything written in this article is applicable to all women. If your girlfriend is a difficult one, then you’ll have to come up with a solution that works just as well for you and her.
Remember, it’s not always your fault.
Do your best to understand her and resolve the situation, even if the situation is beyond your control.
What other tips do you have for dealing with an emotional girlfriend who constantly finds fault in you?
Comment below! I’d love to hear from my readers.
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.
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