Do you feel like your boyfriend is obsessed with you?
While a little infatuation is always a good thing, too much is never a good idea.
However, how can you tell your boyfriend is actually obsessed, and doesn’t just really like you?
Well, here are the signs:
1) He is really clingy
Okay, we’re starting off strong.
When your boyfriend is really clingy, it’s like he can’t get enough of you.
It’s like he needs you in his life every second of every day.
He’ll call and text you all day long, even when he knows you’re busy.
Now: while a little clinginess can be cute at times, it isn’t when it becomes a constant state of being for him.
You see, especially for girls we don’t find it super attractive when a guy is extremely clingy.
After all, that goes to show that he is dependent on you to make him happy.
So, when a guy is clingy, you can tell it’s not all that serious.
When your boyfriend is really obsessed with you, he’ll want to be with you as much as possible.
He’ll want to spend time with you alone and he’ll want to spend time with you in public.
However, when he doesn’t want to let go of you at all times, that’s when it’s starting to get creepy and weird.
Your boyfriend is obsessed if he won’t let go of your hand or if he won’t stop talking about how much he loves you or how much he wants to be with you forever and ever.
This clinginess needs to be put under control if he wants to be with you long-term, otherwise, that will become a problem, trust me.
You could try talking to him about it and letting him know that you love him, but sometimes need a little bit of time to yourself.
2) He acts jealous or possessive towards your friends
Just because your boyfriend acts jealous when you hang out with your friends doesn’t mean that he doesn’t actually like them.
However, when he is jealous of your friends, it can quickly become a problem in a relationship.
Think about it: he is being jealous of your friends, how are you going to be with him for years, or even your whole life?
That’s when it becomes a problem.
If he is jealous of your friends, then what does that mean for you?
Well, it means that he doesn’t trust you and that he thinks you might be cheating on him at any moment.
But sometimes, his jealousy isn’t even a fear of betrayal, it’s more that he just wants you to himself.
Now: if your boyfriend is acting possessive towards your friends, it’s not a good sign.
He might be trying to control you or make sure nothing bad happens to you when you are with them.
It’s something to be aware of because this can quickly become a problem in the relationship if it isn’t stopped right away.
You see, a little possessiveness is cute and even attractive, but when a guy wants you to stop hanging out with all of your friends, that’s a problem.
Don’t let your boyfriend control you by saying that he wants to be with you all the time and then not letting him hang out with your friends at all.
That’s when it starts becoming a problem, trust me.
3) He love-bombs you
You might know this term from when people talk about narcissists, but some guys also do this when they are simply obsessed with their girlfriends.
Love-bombing is when a guy starts showering you with gifts, compliments and affection in order to be taken seriously or to make you feel loved.
It’s something that can be seen in a relationship when the guy starts showing all of his feelings to the girl he is dating.
But what happens if the girl doesn’t want this kind of attention?
Well, then it’s a problem.
You see, when a guy loves-bombs you because he wants you to love him back, that’s not something that is good for any relationship.
When he goes out of his way to show how much he loves you and how happy he is with your relationship, it can start becoming annoying very fast if it isn’t reciprocated in some way or form.
Now: in general, there is absolutely nothing wrong with showing the person you love that you love them by giving them gifts or compliments.
However, love-bombing is not only extremely intense, it is also usually followed by a period of the exact opposite of love: rejection.
Now: rejection is not a good sign, especially if you are in a relationship.
It means that he doesn’t respect your feelings because he doesn’t think that you really want to be with him.
When a guy seems to just swing back and forth between love-bombing and criticizing you or rejecting you, then he is clearly obsessed.
However, this behavior is everything but healthy, so get out of there as quickly as you can!
4) He texts and calls you constantly
Are you out running errands? At school? With your family?
No matter what you do, a guy who is obsessed with you will bombard you with texts and calls.
He might even be so persistent that he starts showing up in places where you are, just to talk to you.
This is a very dangerous and manipulative thing to do because it makes you feel trapped and unable to do anything else but talk to him or go out with him.
If a guy does this, then he’s really obsessed with you and that’s not always a good thing.
You see, if you can’t spend a few hours without him blowing up your phone, that’s when things get problematic.
When he starts to do this and you feel like you can’t get away from him, it’s a sign that he’s too obsessed with you.
What should you do when a guy is obsessed with you?
Well, communication usually goes a long way. Maybe he is in a position where he will be able to work on himself to make things a bit better.
5) He keeps saying you will leave him
The next sign that a guy is obsessed with you is when he starts saying that you will leave him.
This is a classic indicator of obsession because it means that he has absolutely no control over his emotions.
He is completely obsessed with you and nothing else matters to him.
A guy who does this might also have some psychological issues that he just can’t seem to overcome.
Either way, it’s not a good sign when a guy keeps saying you will leave him.
You see, he is fixating on an outcome that he is terrified of, even when you give him no reason whatsoever to believe that.
The problem with that is that this guy will use this victim mentality as a tactic to get you to stay with him.
That’s not a healthy way to go about things.
You see, no healthy relationship should be based on this.
6) He makes you feel like you’re the only one he cares about
The next sign that a guy is obsessed with you is when he makes you feel like the only one he cares about in the world.
This is very dangerous when it comes to relationships because he’ll tell you how much he cares about you and not see any reason why it should stop there.
He will also tell you that no one else can ever be good enough for him, but if they were, they wouldn’t be able to hold his interest for more than 15 minutes.
Now: while all these things are technically quite nice and cute, there is one problem:
This guy will start neglecting everyone else in his life for you.
Friends? Family? None of that matters to him anymore, as long as he’s with you.
While this can be flattering, it also puts a lot of pressure on you – you are his only source of happiness.
This is a very dangerous sign because it means that the guy has no idea what he wants out of life.
He doesn’t know where he’s going, but he thinks that you do.
He doesn’t see any reason why you shouldn’t be his everything and his only priority.
And the worst part?
A guy with zero life of his own or ambitions is usually not very attractive to a woman.
She wants someone who has goals, ambitions, and a life of his own.
7) He makes you feel like his world is falling apart without you
There is one thing that keeps a guy obsessed with you: if he can see his own world spinning out of control without your presence, then he won’t spend all day thinking about you and obsessing about what might happen if you left him.
So when a guy starts saying things like “your leaving would kill me,” or “your leaving would bring my world crashing down,” this should be an immediate red flag for you because it means that he’s not in control of himself anymore and that things are starting to spiral out of control without your presence in his life.
If this happens, then you really need to have a serious conversation.
You see, when you feel like he might do something to himself if you ever ended the relationship, that is a form of emotional manipulation, and it means that he is not in control of himself.
This is a very big red flag that you should give serious consideration to because you need to know whether or not the guy really has his shit together.
If he’s not in control of himself, then things are most likely going to get ugly if you decide to end the relationship.
Think about it: when you are scared of what he might do if you were to end the relationship, you are obviously way less likely to actually end it, right?
This isn’t healthy, you should always feel free to end a relationship whenever things don’t fit anymore.
8) He makes you feel like his only priority in life is getting your attention and keeping you happy
When a guy starts telling you that he doesn’t know what he would do without your presence in his life and how important it is for him to have time with you, this should be a huge red flag for you because it means that he is obsessed with you.
You see, it’s nice being a man’s priority, but when you are his only priority, things become uninteresting and also toxic.
After all, he should have his own ambitions and goals to aspire to apart from just getting your attention.
The irony of it all is that a guy who wants your attention so badly makes himself less attractive than a guy who follows his own mission.
9) He doesn’t give you any privacy
Another sign that your boyfriend is obsessed with you is when he doesn’t give you any privacy.
When a guy who wants to be with you doesn’t want to have anything to do with other girls and doesn’t respect your boundaries, this should be a huge red flag because it means that he is an insecure guy who is afraid of losing you.
If he doesn’t understand the concept of letting someone have their own space, then he’s not going to understand the concept of respecting other people’s boundaries either.
You see, when a person has their own space and does not invade others’ spaces, they become more attractive in the eyes of others.
Now, this might even go so far as to him looking through your phone or not being able to understand why you don’t want him to be around your friends.
10) He’s always trying to control your mind, emotions, and behavior
A person who is in a healthy relationship with someone they like will never try to control them or make them do things that they don’t want to do.
And this is because he knows that it’s not healthy for someone who cares about you to try and make you do things that you don’t want to do because it goes against your values and morals.
The reason why a guy who is obsessed with you will try and control your mind, emotions, and behavior is that he is afraid of losing you if you aren’t under his complete control.
Does that sound healthy to you?
You see, if a person loves you, they want to give you the space to do things that you want to do.
And this is because they know that if they try and control you, it will go against your values and morals.
Now, the reason why he is afraid of losing you if you aren’t under his complete control is that he doesn’t fully trust you, or himself.
This is why when a guy who wants to be with you tries and controls your mind, emotions, and behavior, it’s not healthy for him or for the relationship itself.
11) He is manipulative
Last but not least, a sign that your boyfriend is obsessed with you is when he is manipulative.
This means that he is someone who will do things to make you feel like you need him.
And this is because he has low self-worth and feels that he needs to have a person who loves him in order to feel good about himself.
Now, the reason why a guy who wants to be with you will do things to make you feel like you need him is that he thinks that if he doesn’t have someone, then no one else would want him.
And this is because a person who lacks confidence tends to think that they need someone else in order for them to be complete.
He will try anything in his power to make you dependent on him so that he feels as though he’s in control and you can’t leave him.
If that doesn’t scream toxic, I don’t know what will.
Well, you are in quite a pickle if a lot of these signs apply to your boyfriend.
You see, in that case, I would start by trying to have a conversation with him and letting him know that you need him to be less possessive and obsessed.
Be calm and state your needs.
However, if none of that works, you might be better off ending this relationship, it’s not healthy in the long run.
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
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