Are you dating someone who finds transgender women attractive?
I found myself in that same situation just a few months ago, when my boyfriend dropped the bomb and told me this.
I was confused: what did that mean about our relationship?
After a few months of figuring things out between the two of us, I have learned a lot, and I want to share that knowledge with you.
Here are some things you need to know if your boyfriend is attracted to transgender women:
1) This has nothing to do with you
First and foremost, remember that this attraction has nothing to do with you.
This is not a reflection on you as a person or your relationship.
His attraction to trans women has nothing to do with you as his girlfriend, so don’t take it as a slight on you!
It also doesn’t mean he likes trans people in general, or even trans women in general.
It means he is sexually attracted to transgender women, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you.
Remember that when it comes to your boyfriend’s attraction to trans women, none of these things are wrong or weird. They’re just a part of who he is.
Even though it might not be the same, it is similar as if he was bisexual and attracted to both men and women.
Sure, that might affect him in some ways, but it doesn’t say anything about your relationship or where he stands in regard to you.
My biggest mistake when my boyfriend told me about this was that I felt as if I wasn’t enough for him.
I took it personally and thought that his being attracted to someone else meant that I wasn’t enough for him.
It wasn’t about me, but it still felt like it was. I even thought I was a disappointment to him because of this, and I was very upset.
I wish that I had known how to deal with this in a way that didn’t negatively affect our relationship and my self-esteem.
That’s why I’m telling you: this has nothing to do with you!
2) You’ll need to communicate and be transparent about your feelings
While you shouldn’t blame yourself for your boyfriend being attracted to trans women, you also shouldn’t ignore your feelings.
You need to talk to your boyfriend about how you feel.
You need to tell him how you feel about his attraction to trans women.
You can use this as an opportunity to open up a discussion that has nothing to do with blame, and everything to do with understanding each other better.
Being open and transparent about your feelings in this situation is key.
You don’t want to bottle this up, because as time goes on, it’s only going to get harder to talk about.
Remember that your boyfriend does not want to hurt you.
He does not want to make you feel bad.
He has this attraction, and he doesn’t know how to deal with it.
You are his partner, and your feelings on this matter are important to him.
You see, the mere fact that he was willing to open up about this is already a huge step in the right direction.
This means that he is already making an effort to communicate with you about this.
It also means that he is willing to understand and accept how you feel, which is a huge step.
Trust me, the best way to move forward from this is to really communicate openly and stay on the same page about what this means for you and for your relationship.
I believe that if you do that, there is nothing standing in the way of a happy relationship!
This means that you will need to be very honest with him, though.
You can’t hide your feelings and pretend that it doesn’t affect you.
You will need to be very blunt about how this makes you feel, and why it bothers you so much.
This is the only way he can understand where you stand in all of this and help you with your feelings.
3) He’s not attracted to ALL transwomen, just as he’s not attracted to ALL women
Another thing to remember is that your boyfriend isn’t attracted to all trans women.
This means that, while your boyfriend is attracted to transgender women, he is not attracted to all transgender women.
There are many different types of attraction.
For example, some people are attracted to certain hair colors.
Others are attracted to certain body types.
Your boyfriend is attracted to transgender women, but that doesn’t mean every single transgender woman will be on his radar.
It’s the same as he won’t find every single woman attractive, either!
I know it sounds like a no-brainer, but for me it was really helpful to realize that my boyfriend was not attracted to all transgender women.
It made me feel a lot better about the situation, and it allowed me to view this as nothing else than knowing he was attracted to women.
In the same way I don’t find all women threatening, I didn’t find all transgender women threatening.
It’s really helpful to think about it like that!
For me, I needed some help to come to that conclusion.
I won’t lie to you, I was struggling a lot with my self-esteem and our relationship after my boyfriend told me about his attraction.
That’s when he asked me to go to see a relationship coach.
We used Relationship Hero. It’s an online service with highly trained coaches, which made it really simple and easy.
To be honest, I wasn’t sure what to expect, but our coach was incredible.
He was understanding of our situation and he managed to create an environment where both I and my boyfriend felt seen and heard.
We were able to discuss this issue without it becoming an emotional argument, and after just a few weeks, we felt like we were in a good place with our relationship again.
I can really recommend Relationship hero if you are going through any issues of that sort in your own relationship.
4) Your boyfriend is probably still attracted to you
Your boyfriend is probably still attracted to you, even though he’s also attracted to trans women.
Your boyfriend is not sexually attracted to trans women because he wants to date them.
He’s attracted to trans women because he’s sexually attracted to them, but that’s it. The same way he probably finds Angelina Jolie gorgeous and is attracted to her, he is also attracted to trans women.
But none of that changes his feelings or his attraction to you!
Since he is probably still sexually attracted to you, this means that you’re with someone who wants to be with you.
Someone who desires to be with you.
Someone who wants to be your boyfriend.
You also don’t need to be afraid of losing him to a trans woman.
If you trust your boyfriend, then him being attracted to transwomen doesn’t change the fact that he’s attracted to you.
If he is loyal, he will be loyal regardless of who he is attracted to.
You see, someone can be attracted to every single person in the world, but if they love you and are committed, it doesn’t change a thing!
5) Talk to your boyfriend about what he wants
Now that you’ve talked about what his attraction to trans women means, and how it doesn’t affect your relationship, you need to talk about what he wants.
You need to ask your boyfriend what he wants from this situation.
Ask him what he wants from his attraction to trans women.
You need to remember that your boyfriend is probably as confused about his attraction to trans women as you are.
He might not know what this means or how to deal with it.
You can help him with this. You can ask him what he thinks this means, and what he wants to do with this attraction.
You can help guide him through this situation and help him understand what is happening because you’re his partner.
And because you love him, you’re the right person to do this.
You see, just because he is attracted to transwomen doesn’t mean he wants to follow through on this attraction.
Maybe it’s a simple fact about him, but nothing changes in your relationship.
Or, he actually wants to explore that side of him and start dating transwomen.
In that case, it is best to let him go and move on.
You see, there are countless possibilities of what he might want from this situation, but you need to talk about it in order to find out!
You won’t know until you talk about it.
6) You may need to reexamine your relationship if he wants to see other people
If your boyfriend wants to see other people, you may have to break up with him.
He may not have a choice in the matter, and it’s important to remember that this is not your fault.
This choice is coming from his attraction to trans women, not from you.
You don’t have to stay in a relationship where the other person wants to see other people.
There are many different ways people approach non-monogamy and open relationships.
However, you need to be on the same page. You need to both know what you want and what you want to do about it.
If he wants to see other people, you need to talk about it. You need to reexamine your relationship if he wants to see other people.
The thing is, everybody is different.
Some people are able to thrive in open relationships, while others only want monogamy.
It’s a difficult conversation to have, and we were talking to our relationship coach at Relationship Hero about this when the issue came up.
I knew that monogamy was the only option for me, and our coach really helped us by asking us the right questions that led us to truly discover what we wanted at our cores.
In the end, we decided that we would stay in our monogamous relationship, as that worked for us both.
I’m so grateful to our coach for giving us this clarity and showing us what we truly wanted!
Again, if you are facing this issue, don’t be afraid to get help, it will make things so much easier!
7) Remember: You’re not alone!
If your boyfriend is attracted to trans women, you are not alone.
This is a fairly common situation, and many people find themselves in this situation at one point or another.
There are other people out there in relationships with partners who are attracted to trans people.
There are others like you who have discovered that their partner is attracted to trans women.
You are not the first person to find yourself in this situation.
And you will likely not be the last.
There are many people out there experiencing the same thing as you.
If you’re feeling intimidated by this situation, remember that you’re not alone.
There are people who understand what you’re going through and are willing to help you through it.
Finding support groups online, or simply knowing that you are not the only one in that situation can really help you deal with this.
8) Try to understand that his attraction has nothing to do with your relationship
Remember that his attraction to trans women has nothing to do with your relationship.
It’s important to try to understand that.
This attraction to trans women is not you. It’s not your fault. It’s not something that you need to worry about or take personally.
You can’t control his attraction to trans women or what he wants to do with that.
This attraction to trans women has nothing to do with your relationship.
It has nothing to do with you or anything that you’re doing wrong.
There is absolutely nothing for you to worry about when it comes to this attraction as long as your boyfriend decides to stay committed to this relationship.
The best thing that you can do is try to understand that his attraction to trans women has nothing to do with you.
Don’t take it personally and don’t let it change who you are as a person.
Once you understand that, you will realize that actually, this is not a big deal at all!
9) Nobody is to blame, it is simply an attraction
You and your boyfriend are not to blame for his attraction to trans women.
Nobody is to blame for this. It is simply an attraction, and there is nothing you can do to change it.
You are not responsible for his attraction to transgender women. You can’t control it.
You cannot stop his attraction to trans women. You cannot force him to like cisgender women.
You can only be there for him and support him as he goes through this journey.
The thing is, you don’t have to blame anyone for this. You don’t have to take it personally.
Simply understand that nobody is to blame for this, it’s just a thing that is happening. It’s an attraction that he has, and it has nothing to do with you.
Releasing the need to blame or be angry can really help you move on from this and finally realize that it’s nothing to worry about.
10) There’s no easy way around this situation, you need to talk about it
The only way you can get through this situation is by talking about it.
It’s not something that you can just keep to yourself.
You need to talk about this with your boyfriend, and you need to be willing to listen and hear him out.
You need to make sure that he feels safe and comfortable with talking about this with you.
Don’t try to force him into talking about it or making decisions for him.
Let him know that you are there for him when he needs you, but don’t try to make decisions for him or tell him what he should do.
Just give him some space, some time, and a bit of room for thinking about this himself. He’ll eventually come around when he’s ready.
The thing is, you can’t ignore this – really try to talk things out.
Do you trust him?
Honestly, this is the most important question you need to be asking yourself.
If you trusted your boyfriend before he told you about his attraction, then you can most likely still trust him.
As long as there is trust, nothing else matters.
So what if he’s attracted to transwomen? If he’s committed to you, and he’s willing to be with you, then who cares?
You should be asking yourself if you can trust him, and if you can trust him, then what does it matter if he’s attracted to transwomen or not?
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.
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I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.
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