“My boyfriend broke up with me and I want him back”: 20 things to do

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“My boyfriend broke up with me and I want him back”: 20 things to do

1) Be sure it’s what you want

If your ex-boyfriend broke up with you and you’re ready to get back together with him, be absolutely sure that you want to rekindle the relationship.

Don’t get back together with him just because you feel lonely or because you’re afraid of losing him forever, but because you truly want to be with him.

If you’re not ready for a serious relationship, don’t get back together with him and lead him on. Tell him you want to be his friend, but you’re not ready for a relationship. At least he’ll know you care about him and want to remain friends.

2) Go no contact

If you want to get your ex back, you must resist the urge to talk to him after the breakup.

The “No contact rule” is a period of time – usually one month – during which you abstain from all contact with your ex and their friends and family.

When you go no contact, you take the pressure off the situation. You give yourself the space and time you need to heal from your breakup and allow your ex the chance to do the same.

You also get a chance to focus on yourself and learn what you need to do to get your life back on track.

If you decide to go no contact, don’t give in to the temptation to send a message or two along the way, it’s important to be consistent.

Don’t stalk them on social media or try to talk to their friends. Doing so will only make you look desperate, and you don’t want to do anything to jeopardize your chances of getting back together.

I know that going no contact isn’t easy, but trust me,  it’s necessary if you want to get your ex back.

3) Get tailor-made advice for your situation

While this article will shed light on the main things to do to get your boyfriend back, it can be helpful to speak to a relationship coach about your situation.

With a professional relationship coach, you can get advice tailored to your unique situation…

Relationship Hero is a popular site where highly trained relationship coaches help people work through complex relationship issues, like showing your ex what he’s missing. Their popularity boils down to how skilled their coaches are.

Why am I so confident that they can help you?

Well, after recently experiencing a rough patch in my own relationship, I reached out to them for help. From the moment I got in touch, I was given genuine, helpful advice, and was finally able to see my relationship issues with real clarity.

I was blown away by how kind and empathetic my coach was.

Within minutes, you could be receiving life-changing advice on how to navigate and repair the issues you’re facing in your relationship.

Click here to get started.

4) Ask yourself why the breakup happened

There are many reasons why a relationship might end.

If you want to get your ex back, it’s crucial to understand the real reason behind the breakup. If it was something you did, you need to be honest with yourself by asking yourself why you did it. By doing this, you’ll be able to understand your ex’s side of the story and how to win him back.

If it was something he did, you need to understand why he did it. Perhaps he had doubts or felt he was not ready to commit or perhaps there was something he wanted to tell you but never got the chance to say.

Whatever the reason, it’s important to know so you can avoid making the same mistake down the road.

5) Start exercising and improve your self-confidence

Did you know that exercising boosts your self-confidence and makes you feel better about yourself?

It’s true. It releases endorphins that reduce your anxiety and stress levels and makes you a more confident person overall.

Getting in shape and building your self-confidence can be a challenging process, but it will help you become a stronger, healthier, and more attractive person.

Being in better shape will not only boost your confidence, but it can help you gain the courage to approach your ex again. What’s more, he’ll appreciate the extra effort you’re going through to improve yourself.

6) Reconnect with your friends

When you were in a relationship, it was easy to put your friends on the back burner. You might have become so focused on your romantic relationship that you forgot to nurture your other relationships.

But when you break up, your friends will be there for you. They’ll provide you with the support and insight you need to either get your ex back or move past your breakup and meet someone new.

When you reconnect with your friends, they can help you get your life back on track. They can offer advice and share their own experiences. This can help you avoid getting stuck in the past.

The bottom line is that your friends will be there for you when you need a shoulder to cry on when you’re heartbroken – they will be there for you no matter what – so cherish them.

7) Don’t check his social media accounts

If your ex is constantly looking at your social media, that’s a sign they still care but don’t want to call you or talk to you in person because they know you want nothing to do with them. In other words, if your ex is constantly stalking your social media accounts, they’re not ready to let go of you yet.

Don’t let yourself be lured into checking his social media accounts or sending him frequent emails or texts – remember the no contact rule.

Instead, focus on taking care of yourself and getting your own life back on track. This is a great way to move past your breakup and get your ex out of your head.

8) Rewrite your story

If you want to get back together but this time in a happier, more committed relationship, it’s simple:

Rewrite the story of your relationship.

To do this, you only need to change the emotions he associates with you and makes him picture what a brand new relationship with you would look like.

In his excellent short video, James Bauer gives you a step-by-step method for women who want to change the way their ex feels about them. He reveals the texts you can send and things you can say that will trigger deep feelings inside him.

Because once you paint a new picture of what your life together could be like, you could end up creating the relationship you’ve always dreamt of.

Watch his excellent free video here.

9) Show him you’ve changed

If you want to get your ex back, you need to show them that you’ve changed and matured as a person since you two were together.

You may believe that your ex made a mistake, but it’s important that you show him you’ve changed. This can help you get your ex back because he’ll see the positive changes in you.

When you were in a relationship, it was easy to blame your breakup on external factors. Now it’s time for you to take responsibility for your actions and show your ex that he made a mistake by breaking up with you.

10) Be supportive of his new relationship

Even if you’re sure that you want your ex back, don’t bring up their new relationship and trash talk about their new partner.

Even if you’re confident that you’re the right person for your ex, they may not be ready to get back together again yet. If your ex is in a new relationship, he may not be ready to get back together.

Now, I know that you’re still in love with your ex, but don’t try to talk him out of his new relationship. This will only make him resent you and he may become less likely to get back together with you later on.

You need to be supportive of your ex’s new relationship. If you make snide remarks or say anything negative about her, you’ll only drive him further away. This will make it difficult for you to get back together with him.

Instead, be his friend and be supportive. If he trusts you, he may confide in you about any problems he has in his new relationship. Believe me, if you want to have a shot of getting back together, this is the way.

11) Don’t blame, shame or insult him

When your ex broke up with you, you were probably angry with him.

Now that some time has passed, you may be tempted to blame him or shame him. Resist the urge to do either of these things. Blaming, shaming, and slandering your ex won’t help you get him back.

Think about it:

You want to show him that you’ve changed and you’re a better person. You want him back, right?

12) Make him jealous

If your ex-boyfriend broke up with you, but he’s not ready for a serious relationship, make him jealous by dating other men. Don’t overdo it though, or he’ll think you’re easy.

If he’s not ready for a serious relationship, it doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to be with you; it just means he needs more time. If he’s seeing other girls, don’t let it get to you.

Here’s the thing: If you act jealous – it will be a big turn-off for him. But, If he sees that you’re not jealous, he’ll wonder what’s going on and he’ll want to win you back. 

13) Be patient

If your ex-boyfriend broke up with you, you need to let him take his time to heal and figure out what he wants in life.

If you immediately start trying to get him to take you back, he’s going to think you’re desperate and push you away even more.

Give him time to think about the relationship and his decision to break up with you. You don’t know what he’s going through, so be patient and let him heal. If you push him too hard, he’ll resent you even more and the breakup will become permanent.

That’s why it’s good to remember the no contact rule.

14) Show him that you’re moving on

If your boyfriend left you, then he might not be ready to get back together with you yet.

It’s important that you show him you’re moving on with your life and that he is not the center of it any longer. If you’re constantly trying to get him to take you back, he’ll think you’re desperate and it will turn him off even more.

What should you do?

Go out with your friends, go to parties, focus on your career and make new friends. When he sees that you have your life together and that he’s no longer the center of it, he’ll want to get back with you even more.

15) Don’t beg or act desperate

Never ever beg!

If your ex-boyfriend broke up with you, don’t do anything to make him feel like you’re desperate to get him back.

Don’t constantly text, call, or message him on social media, even if it seems like he’s forgotten about you. You need to play it cool

Don’t ever beg him to take you back. Doing so will only make him think you’re desperate and clingy and he’ll resent you for it.

Here’s the thing: Guys want to be the ones to do the chasing.

If he feels like you’re not interested in him anymore and are moving on with your life – if he feels like he can’t have you – he’ll want you even more. In short: you need to play hard to get if you want him back.

16) Help your ex see what they’re missing

One of the best ways to get your ex-boyfriend back is to show him what he’s missing out on.

  • Be confident and live your best life.
  • Don’t sit at home feeling sad and lonely. Instead, put on your best dress and go out and have fun.
  • Take that trip you’ve been postponing for years.
  • Take up a new hobby.
  • Focus on your career.

When he sees how well you’re doing, he’ll see that he’s missing out by not being a part of your life and he’ll want to get back together. 

17) Remind him of the good old days

If you want him back, then you need him to remember the good times you shared.

For example, when you meet your ex for coffee, bring up some fun memories of the two of you together. Remind him of the first date you went on, a fun trip you went on, or the first time he told you he loved you.

Now, you don’t want to be too obvious. You want to casually bring up the good old days.

Show him that he’s throwing away a great relationship and that he’s making a huge mistake by letting you go. If he loved you once, he can love you again and you can make him realize that.

18) Show him that you’re over it by having fun with friends

If he sees that you’re not pining away for him and constantly thinking about him, he’ll think that you’re over the breakup.

He’ll see that you have no problem with moving on with your life and that you’re not sitting around waiting for him. This will make him regret breaking up with you and want to get back together.

19) Change what you can change in yourself and your behavior

Examine what went wrong in your relationship and how you can improve so that things go better the next time around.

Maybe you broke up because you were unsure about what you wanted or needed. This can create problems in your life and your relationships. Now is the time to reflect on what you want and what went wrong.

Know what you want. Doing so will help you get your ex back.

20) Ask for a second chance

Finally, when the time is right, you should ask for a second chance.

Now, this is a big step and something that you should only do after you’ve thought long and hard about it.

If you’ve gone through the no contact period and you still want to get your ex back, you may have to be the one to initiate getting back together.

If you truly love your ex, and they have not moved on, then asking for a second chance is a good idea. You can do this in a variety of ways:

  • In-person
  • Through mutual friends
  • Over the phone

I would advise doing it in person once you’ve re-established a positive relationship with them. And remember, if you want your ex to give you a second chance, you need to approach them with humility.

How to get your ex back using the “No contact rule”

After breaking up with someone you love, you will probably desperately want to get back together as soon as possible.

But doing something quick and rash might not be the best idea for you at this moment.

Instead, it’s important to put some space between the two of you so that both of you can think clearly about your relationship and figure out what went wrong.

This is where the “No contact rule” comes in. The technique is commonly used by celebrities after a breakup to get their ex back. It’s also known as the “Silent treatment” or “Cold turkey” method.

What is the No contact rule?

It’s a technique that requires you to cut off all communication with your ex for a specific period of time.

During this time, you should not contact them in any way.

This means no phone calls, texts, emails, or social media posts.

You should also avoid seeing them in person because this will make keeping the no contact rule a lot harder.

This period should be at least 21 days long, but it’s generally recommended to wait a month.

The idea behind this is to give you and your ex enough time to cool off from the breakup and gain some perspective.

You should also give your ex time to miss you and think about the relationship so that they can figure out what went wrong and if they want to get back together with you.

The benefits of the No contact rule

There are many benefits to using the “No contact rule” to get back together with your ex.

Here are the most important ones:

  • It gives you time to heal: Breakups can be really difficult and painful. But, they’re a natural part of life. The only way to get past this and move on is by healing. The No contact rule gives you enough time to do this and get your life together before moving forward with your ex again.
  • It gives your ex time to heal: Just like you, your ex will also feel a lot of pain after a breakup. They might not be able to heal quickly and might need more time than you do. The No contact rule gives them the space they need to get over the breakup. If you stay in contact with them, they won’t have a chance to heal properly.
  • It will help you understand what went wrong: If you and your ex broke up for whatever reason, you need to understand why it happened. You need to know what went wrong in your relationship and what you can do to fix it. But, it’s really hard to figure out what went wrong if you’re still in touch with your ex.
  • It proves you are serious about getting back together: It takes courage to break off all contact with your ex. Your ex will likely be confused and hurt by your decision. But, they will notice that you’re serious about getting back together with them.

Why the No contact rule works

After a breakup, your ex might be confused, scared, and questioning their decision to end the relationship.

They might need more time to sort out their feelings about the breakup and decide if they want to get back together with you.

When you keep in touch with them after a breakup, you could be pushing them further away from you and make them feel even more confused and unsure about their decision to break up.

You are probably still reeling from the breakup and eager to get back together with them. But, your ex will see this desperation and it will probably push them further away from you.

It’s important to give yourself enough time to heal and regain your confidence.

When you’ve attained the clarity you need, you can contact your ex again. But, this time, you will be coming from a place of strength and confidence.

It’s likely that your ex will be more drawn to you than before.

How to get your ex back using the No contact rule

Now that you know what the No contact rule is and why it works, it’s time to figure out how to actually get your ex back using this technique.

Here are some tips to help you succeed:

  • Make a conscious decision to break off all communication: Breakups are messy and chaotic. A lot of times, they end up in a broken relationship with little or no communication between the two of you. If you find yourself in this situation after a breakup, you need to make a conscious decision to break off all communication with your ex.
  • Keep your intentions hidden: Your ex will probably try to get in touch with you after a breakup. You might feel like you have to contact them back because you feel guilty about what happened or because you want to apologize for something. But, you should try to keep your intentions hidden from your ex.
  • Be confident: When you contact your ex again after a breakup, you need to come from a place of confidence. You need to be sure of what you want and be able to clearly communicate that to your ex. Your ex will be able to sense your confidence and will be drawn to you even more.


After a breakup, it can be hard to know what steps to take to get back the person you loved.

However, if you follow the 20 tips listed in this article, you can get your ex back and rekindle the flame of love once again.

If your ex-boyfriend is still in love with you, these tips will help him see that being with you is the best decision he’ll ever make.

Now, go out and get him back.

Can a relationship coach help you too?

If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.

I know this from personal experience…

A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.

If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.

In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.

I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.

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