10 powerful tips if your ex comes back during Mercury retrograde

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Did your ex suddenly pop out of nowhere? 

Do you find yourself thinking about your ex lately?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, you might want to check your astrological calendar. Chances are, Mercury retrograde has made its appearance. 

What does this mean for you?

Other than the infamous technological glitches, transportation issues, brain fogs, and misunderstandings, Mercury’s backward movement is also notorious for bringing up your past – and yes, that includes your exes.

During this three-week period (that happens three to four times a year), thinking about your past romantic relationships or reaching out to your old flames is not uncommon. It can also happen the other way around, and you may find your ex suddenly reconnecting with you. 

You’d probably be in a whirlwind of emotions when this happens and be downright confused. But don’t freak out just yet. 

Check out these 10 powerful tips on what to do if an ex comes back during Mercury retrograde:

1) Don’t get attached!

Even if they were the first to text, call or DM you, don’t get ahead of yourself. Remind yourself that it can literally be just a text from an ex – nothing more. 

You agree to catch up over dinner. Again, it could literally be just that – catching up on each other’s lives through a tasty meal.

One thing leads to another, and you end up hooking up. I hate to break it to you, but there’s a reason the phrase “one night stand” was coined. It may be just that – a one-night rendezvous.

When these things happen during a Mercury retrograde, don’t overanalyze it. Do not immediately assume that there’s still something between the two of you. 

For all you know, it’s just a one-off thing. Don’t get attached and save yourself the bigger heartache of finding out they won’t be sticking around.

Don’t get me wrong. It can also be the start of something new for both of you. But do yourself a favor and don’t get attached even for at least the next three weeks until this astrological phase ends.

2) Avoid your ex

Here’s an obvious tip when your ex comes back during Mercury retrograde: 

Stay away from them!

 Beware of the ex that comes armed with apologies and regrets. Pisces would probably struggle the most with this tip, especially as you’re the most forgiving zodiac.

But remember, Mercury retrograde is known for communication issues, including misinterpretations. You may run the risk of mistaking a simple apology for something more. Stand your ground and stay away, at least for now. 

Don’t be fooled by the ex that tries to win you over with over-the-top romantic gestures or a long list of reasons why you should get back together.

To be fair, they may be sincere, but who knows? It may just be the retrograde stirring things up. Avoid reciprocating any of these and disengage. Again, at least for now. 

I hear you. It’s an easy-to-say hard-to-do sort of thing, especially when your ex resurfacing brings back overwhelming emotions. But hey, you’ve done so well for so long without them, so what’s another three weeks of pretending they don’t exist, right? 

Must. Avoid. The. Ex.

Read that again and again until you’re convinced it’s the best step for keeping you sane during this chaos-filled retrograde phase. 

You can do it. You’ve got this!

3) Sit on your feelings

So what do you do while avoiding your ex during the mercury retrograde? Slow down and process your feelings.

Let me show you how:

Start by paying attention to your feelings without judgment. Don’t label whatever you’re feeling as right or wrong or good or bad. Just acknowledge it for what it is.

The next step is to name it. Naming your feelings helps you manage them better. If you know what it is, you have control of it instead of the other way around.

Possible feelings you may have when your ex returns during Mercury retrograde are: Fear, confusion, hope, anger, optimism, frustration, enthusiasm, and so much more. 

Once you’ve named it, allow yourself to feel it. Let your body feel the effects of your emotions. Suppressing your feelings has been linked to increased stress, anxiety, and depression, among others, so just let yourself feel it. But don’t act on it just yet. 

Finally, unpack those feelings. Here are some questions to help you get started:

  • What happened then (or now) that led you to feel this way now that your ex is back? 
  • What has your ex done that led to this emotion?
  • Did you have these feelings before Mercury retrograde, or is it just a new emotion?
  • How is this feeling affecting your life at the moment?
  • How can you manage these emotions healthily?

You have three weeks to sit on your emotions. If they’re gone after the retrograde, then it’s safe to say it’s just mercurial. If they’re not, it’s safe to start contemplating how best to act on them.

4) Give yourself time off

If there’s one good thing about the Mercury retrograde, it’s that it spins our energies inwards, enhancing our ability to talk to ourselves. It’s a good time to access our inner compass. 

While sitting on your feelings, take this as the perfect opportunity to direct your communication inwards rather than outward. Start by reflecting on yourself as a whole. You can do this by journaling.

Here are a couple of prompts to get you started:

  • What do you want in your life right now?
  • Where do you see yourself in the next five years?
  • Where do these tie in with your vision for your future?
  • What makes you happy?
  • What is your definition of an ideal love life

Remember the feelings that you sat on and processed earlier? How do these fit with your answers to the questions above? Write this down in your journal, too.

Apart from journaling, try doing yoga, meditation, a walk by the beach, dining at your favorite restaurant, getting a mani/pedi, soaking a warm bath, getting a facial – the list is endless, but the main focus is to do something that calms you down and makes you feel extra special about yourself.

Indulging in these self-care rituals provides inner peace and clarity and hopefully prevents you from falling into the bring-back-the-past traps of the Mercury retrograde.

5) Add the ex to your block list

I know it sounds extreme, but hear me out: This doesn’t need to be permanent. You’ll only need to keep them off your contacts and socials until the end of the Mercury retrograde.

If your ex starts constantly liking all of your Facebook posts and reacting to each of your Instagram stories, it ends up confusing your mind (and heart) even more. So don’t hesitate and immediately hit that block button. 

What does it mean when your ex texts you during Mercury retrograde? We’re talking about the notorious phase of miscommunications here, so the answer to what these messages really mean is up in the air.

A “how are you doing” message may just be literally a simple text to ask how you’re doing. A smiley emoji with a heart could just be your ex playing around with emojis without any feelings involved.

By the way, Mercury retrograde is also renowned for causing trouble with technology, so that text may not even be for you. For all we know, a twisted technological glitch sent you that sweet message, even if it was meant for someone else.

So if you receive random text messages or cute emojis out of the blue from your ex, the safest move for the moment is to block them off your contact list

Also, because this retrograde loves bringing the past back, you may find yourself asking: “Should I text my ex during Mercury retrograde?”

The short answer is NO! 

I cannot emphasize enough the importance of waiting until the retrograde finishes before acting out on anything said or done by your ex.

6) If you must communicate, do it face to face

Let’s be real, there are instances where you can’t really avoid your ex. Talking to them can also sometimes be unavoidable. So when communication during the Mercury retrograde is necessary, do it face to face.

Like I said, this phase is known for technological glitches and miscommunication, so the best way to say what you mean is to do it personally. 

The rise and fall of our voices can add different meanings to the same sentence, so communicating in person is one way of avoiding the misinterpretations of bland text messages.

Also, sometimes actions speak louder than words, so having face-to-face conversations is a great way of using facial expressions and body language to say what words can’t adequately express. 

The reverse can also work in your favor – seeing your ex’s facial expressions and gestures or hearing their voice can give you a better picture of their sincerity.

If they say something via text and can’t repeat it while looking you in the eye, that’s a major red flag right there. Talking face-to-face is your chance to suss them out.

7) Communicate clearly

The Mercury retrograde is good at making us fail to say what we really mean, which is why it’s always best to save serious conversations after this phase. But again, as we already said, some conversations can’t be avoided. 

The only alternative is to be as clear as possible in your communication. 

Prepare for the conversation with your ex by choosing the right words. It sometimes helps to write down your thoughts and read them repeatedly to see if the language can be improved.

When you’re about to meet with your ex, remember what you’ve read and have a mental script ready.

When you’re in front of them, take it slow and take the time to think about what you’ll say before actually saying it out loud. 

On the flip side, if your ex is talking and you don’t quite get it, don’t assume you know what they mean. Ask them to repeat it if you didn’t hear it or ask for clarification if their words were somewhat vague.

The secret to having a healthy conversation during a Mercury retrograde is ensuring you both walk away from that conversation without any confusion or hanging questions.

8) Set clear boundaries

Mercury retrograde can bring your ex back into your life – but you’re still in control regarding how long they can stay and how far they go.

The key is to set clear and healthy boundaries. Essentially, we’ve already touched on some boundaries in the tips we’ve listed, but here are more concrete examples:

Let’s say your ex keeps messaging or calling you during the Mercury retrograde. You can say one of two things:

  • If you’re unsure you want to keep the communication lines between the two of you, say something like: “Can you please give me more time to think things through? I will message you when I’m ready to talk about us.”
  • But if you’ve moved on from your ex and don’t want to keep receiving their unsolicited messages, try something like: “I’m sorry, but I’ve moved on from our past and don’t want to discuss it anymore.”

Another is when your ex keeps making moves to be physically intimate with you. Again, you can say you’ve moved on and are not interested. Or you can say something like: “I think we’re moving too fast. Let’s take it slow for now and reconnect without taking things physical.”

If you want to reflect, try this: “Please give me some time to work on myself first. If you still feel like reconnecting after a month, then let’s catch up then.”

Setting clear boundaries makes it easier to define the expectations between yourself and your ex and prevent misunderstandings from the oh-so-famous Mercury retrograde.

9) Hold off on commitments and life-changing decisions

In addition to miscommunication and giving you brain fog, Mercury retrograde is also very powerful at clouding your judgement. For this reason, astrologers advise that we don’t sign any important contracts or make any big purchases during this phase. 

So when your ex comes running to you during a Mercury retrograde, don’t be fooled into running away with them to Vegas for one of those world-famous shotgun weddings!

Also, don’t be too quick to break up with your current partner just because your former flame has returned. Once the retrograde has passed, you could regret whatever decisions you made during its reign.

Indecisiveness is also a key feature of the Mercury retrograde, so don’t force yourself to come up with a decision during this time, including decisions regarding your romantic relationships.

In the same context, don’t pressure your ex to make rash decisions concerning you two. If you do, you may get hurt eventually when they have a change of heart as soon as the retrograde passes.

Remember what we said about sitting on your feelings and reflecting on yourself? Whatever the outcome of these is, wait until the Mercury retrograde completes its course before making decisions concerning your romantic life.

10) Agree with your ex to have closure

Let’s quickly recap what you’ve done to manage your ex coming back during a Mercury retrograde:

  • You’ve stayed away from your ex and avoided getting attached to them.
  • You’ve processed your feelings and allowed time for self-reflection.
  • You’ve either blocked all communication with them or communicated face-to-face and set clear boundaries.
  • You’ve held off on any decision-making.

So what’s next? 

The next step is best carried out until after the Mercury retrograde, but I’ve included it in this list nonetheless: 

Have an honest, open conversation with your ex focusing on closure.

What does this mean?

If you’ve realised Mercury retrograde brought your ex back because of unresolved issues, invite your ex for a final conversation. Use it as an opportunity to get answers to any lingering questions you may still have from the past. Allow yourself to express any bottled-up thoughts and emotions. Only when you’ve freed yourself from these can you truly achieve closure. 

On the other hand, if you both decide to give it another shot, there’s still closure needed. Moving forward is best done on a clean slate, so talk about where you both went wrong in the past and how you will do things differently so that this rekindled relationship does better. Once that’s done, close that chapter of your life and agree to never look back.

In short, as you come closer to the end of the retrograde phase, work towards seeking closure between you and your ex –  whether that means findings yourselves back in each other’s arms or not.

Mercury retrograde uses the past to move forward

I’m a firm believer that there are no coincidences and that everything in life happens for a reason. 

An ex coming back into your life during a Mercury retrograde doesn’t always mean that the Universe wants you to get back together. Instead, it could be to allow you to resolve any unfinished business, or it could also be because you both haven’t learned the lessons from that relationship.

Whatever it is, it’s a beautiful time to use your past to heal and move forward

Can a relationship coach help you too?

If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.

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