10 things that make men worship women

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When I think of the word “worship”, I think of deities. I think of gods, goddesses, and devotion. 

But when I think of the word “worship” in the context of love, I think of love in its purest yet most passionate form. The kind that makes artists create beauty.

The kind of adoration that produces poems, songs, and love stories told throughout the ages. I think of that kind of love that many of us wish and yearn for but don’t dare say sometimes.

I guess you wish for this as well, with you being here and all that. I get it. 

And so I hope you have a drink ready, bestie because this one’s going to be one heck of a conversation. 

Get comfortable with some snacks, too, and let’s talk about the 10 Things that Make Men Worship Women:

1) When you respect yourself. 

This is the encompassing theme of this article. Sure, you want your object of affection to worship the ground you walk on but you should have boundaries to achieving that. 

I refuse to hear you say “But what if changing myself will make him like me better?” 

Okay, until when? 

Until when can you sustain wearing a facade so that he continues to like you? 

To be clear, I’m all for doing our best to grow. I’m #TeamProgress any day of the week, but what I’m talking about here is the minimization of ourselves to please our partners.

Respect yourself to not resort to that. 

And this isn’t aimless preaching, besties, I’ve been there. My goodness, when I remember the utter desperation I used to feel to get this boy to like me back… honestly, pass me a drink.

Anyway, the point is, say it with me: “I respect myself enough to not change who I am only for the sake of someone else’s approval. My changes should be rooted in my need to be a better version of myself.”

Wait a minute, does this list even apply to every man? 

Look at you, on your phone, and looking up an article to make your man worship the ground you walk on. 

To this, I bring both good news and bad news. Good news: It’s possible. 

Bad news: It’s only possible with the right men.

There won’t be enough advice in the world that can make an unwilling man worship you. That’ll only stress you out trying to change them.

It’s 2023, we should be done with our “I can change him” eras. 

And you know what? The willing man won’t make this difficult, in fact, he might even be adoring you more than you first thought.

Yes, already. Anyway, going back.

Why respecting yourself will make him worship you: 

It’s a matter of not allowing yourself to be disrespected. How we treat ourselves reflects how we treat others, too.

It also reflects how we want to be treated in return. 

Self-respect should be a matter of course for any person in a relationship, it dictates what we allow, how we interact, and what we value.

The right man will respect your boundaries, will respect your desires, and will understand that he is in your life because you choose him to be. 

And that you are whole as you are (not today, codependency!) but being in each other’s lives adds joy and value to you both. 

2) When you’re cool, calm, collected. 

This shows that you control the situation and you don’t let the situation control you. When you know that you are capable of what may come

When you stay on top of things and don’t let panic consume you. (Well, most of the time. We’re humans after all.)

Why being cool, calm, and collected will make him worship you:

This might seem like I’m just throwing this out of nowhere, but bear with me here and riddle me this, what do you want out of a relationship?

A partnership? 

Or perhaps the better question is, do you just want someone so you can fix them or do you want someone to build or share life with?

Do you want someone who needs you at every turn? Who can’t function without your presence? 

I’m asking *you* this, because if *you* can’t, why would we expect anyone to? (Which is also a recurring theme on this list, btw. This reciprocal energy of give and take.)

Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not talking about the actions we willingly do for our partners. I’m not talking about lightening our partner’s loads out of love. 

Those things are great, but I’m talking about codependency here. That unhealthy way that people crave someone else. 

Do you wish for that kind of worship? (If you are, better click out of this article, bestie. This isn’t what you’re looking for.)

3) When you don’t lose your fire.

Feel free to disagree with me but passionate people are so gosh darn attractive. People who just shine from the fire inside them.

Are you like that, too? Do you have a passion? A burning inside you that propels you forward? 

Dreams? Goals? A need to leave your mark in this world? 

Resilient to the core? The kind who stands up over and over despite being tested by life?

Why not losing your fire will make him worship you:

Your zest for life will make you even more attractive in the eyes of someone who already loves you. 

The way you can go after what you want, the way you give care and attention to them.

The way you take action over the things you have chosen. 

That includes him now, you know? You have carved a place for him to reside in in your heart and if you also take care of him the same way you do your passions, it’ll show.

4) When you’re confident about your body.

Look, I know body positivity and self-love are tough, non-linear journeys for a lot of us but notice that I didn’t mention a certain shape or size for this.

Only the insecure will hound you to be a certain shape, size, and look. If they do comment on your looks, it should come from genuine concern or to hype you up.

Their main priority in this conversation should be how you feel about your body and never to bring you down.

Leave the microaggressions by the door, we’re done with those. 

A note on confidence

But wait, let me say this first, I understand how self-confidence could be a fickle and distant thing to some people. Trust me, I’m still on this journey myself.

But to that I say, fake it ‘til you make it, girl! 

(Of course, faking it until you make it has its reservations, too! It won’t work for everything.)

But start with being kind to yourself. The way we talk to ourselves matters, so focus on positive self-talk as best you can.

Alright, let’s go back to the topic at hand because this self-confidence conversation can be an entirely different article in itself.

Why being confident in your body will make him worship you:

Bear with me for this tangent.

I won’t be the person who will tell you that external validation is wrong on all counts. That won’t be me, nope, nuh-uh.

Because, let’s be honest, a lot of us still need to be told we’re doing well. That we did a good job. That we made the right decisions.

To be affirmed rather than dictated.

What is detrimental in this, and this is tricky, is when we rely on external validation so heavily. To the point that we lose our own voices.

As a “Words of Affirmation as a Love Language” girly, I still navigate these waters. It’s a journey, for sure, so don’t feel bad if what I’m saying doesn’t resonate yet.

Which brings me to the point I’m trying to make. 

If our worth is not rooted solely in other people’s opinions, we will be less likely to “people-please”. 

Our body, our rules.

Instead of spending so much time boxing ourselves up and trying to fit the narrative of what it means to be beautiful. We write those rules.

Damn the standards. We set them for ourselves. 

Remember, our biggest critic is ourselves. And learning how to move past that is a power move.

The right man will see that, and be in awe of the trails you’ve blazed and have yet to. (Although, honestly, this is just a bonus. Do it for yourself, besties!)

5) When you’re assertive and know what you want.

Especially over him. This is the context that we’re talking about being assertive, okay?´

No mind games in this house, bestie. Who has time for mind games, honestly?

If you’re someone who has experienced being played like a fiddle, ghosted, and stuck in a (sometimes cyclical) situationship of your own doing, you know just how emotionally taxing it is.

Why would you subject anyone to that? 

Plus, life’s too short to not tell the people we love that we love them. Life is too fleeting to not tell them we are so in love with who they are.

To not tell them all the wonderful things they do, speak, and become. 

A note on mind games

Just in case you’re new to relationships and you’re not yet honed into recognizing that you’re a contestant in someone’s mind games, here are some red flags.

Trust me, the list is much, much longer than this:

  • You’re in constant confusion over where you stand in the relationship.
  • You’re not sure if you’re even in a relationship.
  • They make you feel like a burden.
  • They never apologize. 
  • They orbit you.
  • They are breadcrumbing.
  • They make you second-guess yourself. 

Feel free to pitch in your most recognized shade of red flag too, folks. We can all learn from each other over this unpleasant territory of uncertainty and emotional manipulation.

But before I throw more angst over this, let’s move on.

Why being assertive and knowing what you want will make him worship you:

Fewer mind games = less doubts, more certainty. 

Don’t you also want someone to be sure of you? To be transparent in wanting you? For someone to not allow you to second guess yourself and where you stand in their lives.

How do you expect someone to love you so passionately and so wholly when you aren’t even sure of them? 

The relationship limbo is so dang exhausting. I wouldn’t wish that on anyone. 

And sure, it might be idealistic to think that love should just be simple but let me argue that love doesn’t need the complications of uncertainty.

Love can just be sure. Love can just be stable. Love can just be your safe space. 

6) When he knows you have his back.

When he knows that you would never knowingly leave him hanging. When you speak his name in a room full of opportunities, even in his absence.

When you hype him up, cheer him on, and support him in his endeavors. And to do this with love and not indifferent obligation. 

Why him knowing that you have his back will make him worship you:

Who doesn’t want someone in their corner? For so long people have boxed men to be these beings that do not require emotional support.

They do! They do! And this is the trend for the next few points as well, mind you.

Be their safest space, the gentlest place they can rest their head against. Treat him how you want to be treated

With kindness, dignity, love, trust, and most importantly, respect. 

Be in each other’s corner. 

7) When you treat him well.

It feels funny to me to even be putting this one on the list when this should already be a given. The barest minimum if you’re in a relationship with him, sis.

He should be treating you well but you also should be treating him well. Reciprocal, give and take. 

Show him the same adoration, meet him eye to eye. I’ve been repeating the reciprocity aspect of this topic over and over because power imbalances don’t make for good relationships.

Why treating him well will make him worship you:

If they’re reciprocal in energy, him treating you how you treat him is a no-brainer.

However, if he’s not the man you think he is, then no amount of treating him well will make him treat you well. 

But also, nuance, don’t treat him well just for show either. Pretenses are never sustainable in the long run. 

8) When you allow him to show his softer side.

Men in love are just the cutest. There, I said it. 

Men in genuinely healthy relationships make you feel like you’re missing out on some good love. Especially if you’ve had a long string of subpar relationships or situationships.

(Because, girl, same.)

Anyhow, my point is this: Allow him to be vulnerable. Allow him the space to show his quirks.

Allow him to be cheesy and in pure love.

But even more than that, make him feel that you are a safe place. Show him kindness, show him that he can express his emotions. 

Show him that he is more than just his anger or his pride—what seems to be the only emotions that society expects men to have—that he is allowed his sadness, his joy, and his fear, too.

That he is allowed his vulnerability. Accompany him in his journey to healing. 

Important: Don’t do the emotional labor though. Let him work through it, offer your support but understand that you can’t do it for him.

And if he’s not even willing to do it, you can’t force him to. 

Why allowing him to show his softer side will make him worship you:

Because he will know you give him space to lay down his armor, you allow him a gentle place to catch his breath.

He can just be who he is. 

9) When you let him spoil you.

“When a man loves a woman

Spend his very last dime

And trying to hold on to what he needs

He’d give up all his comforts

And sleep out in the rain

If she said that’s the way, it ought to be”

– When a Man Loves a Woman, Percy Sledge (1966) & Michael Bolton (1991)

What better way than a love song to illustrate this point? And this song “When a Man Loves a Woman” is so on point with the narrative of a man in love.

To have immortalized the image of a man in love. There are many songs like these, not all of them are good, but most of them prove a point.

A man who loves you will show you. (So yes, that situationship you’ve been holding onto is ruining your skin. Let it go.)

And if you let him, he will spoil you. 

Why letting him spoil you will make him worship you:

Tbh, it’s a pride thing. 

Don’t get it twisted, it’s pride in seeing you happy. Pride in being able to give things to you or make things happen for you.

Pride in doing things for you, in knowing that you can depend on him. 

10) When you completely understand him.

Do you know his love language? Do you try to? 

If you expect to be treated like a queen, are you giving him the same treatment? Btw, if you are, and he’s not giving you that same energy… maybe think to yourself if that’s worth it.

Because, in this day and age, we should not be settling on someone’s bare minimum. Anywho, at the risk of straying way off-course, I digress.

A note on the love languages

A quick refresher on love languages and how you can weave this into your relationship. It’s also worth noting that people can have multiple love languages.

The way they give love might not be the same as how they wish to receive love. Communication is important. 

Words of affirmation

Express your love and adoration in words, whether verbal or written. It doesn’t even have to be poetic either. 

It could just be, but not limited to:

  • Text him randomly if you think of him.
  • Tell him you miss him when you do. 
  • Verbalize your feelings. 
  • “I appreciate you.”
  • “I’m proud of you.”

Acts of service

Actions speak louder than words for these people. And it doesn’t have to be grand romantic gestures either.

It could just be, but not limited to:

  • Running an errand for them without being asked.
  • Helping them with their chores when you can.
  • Planning your date night. 
  • Handling one thing on his to-do list/ helping him with something he’s been worrying over.

Quality time

These are the people who would enjoy spending “boring” nights with you because what’s important is your presence. These are the types of people who find “errand dates” fun. 

When they’re with you, their undivided attention is on you, and they hope for the same, too.

So for this, you could:

  • Be present and in the moment! If you can, turn off your phone or at the very least put it on silent. Don’t check it as much.
  • Show up. It’s as simple as showing up when he plans a day for the two of you. 
  • Pay attention.

Physical touch

People with Physical Touch as their love language feel affirmed in their love through physical gestures. It doesn’t necessarily and automatically mean sex, though! 

Important: Just because someone’s love language is Physical Touch, doesn’t automatically make them okay with all forms of physical touch.

Better ask them what makes them feel the most loved. Consent, always!

So for this, you could:

  • Sit beside him often, lean against him if possible.
  • Hold his hand, run your thumb across his.
  • Cuddles!
  • Tame pecks on the cheeks to full-blown make-out sesh.

Receiving gifts

Thoughtfulness is the name of the game for these people! Their love is reaffirmed when given tangible representations of it. 

It doesn’t need to be expensive or extravagant either!

So for this, you could:

  • Buy him trinkets that remind you of him.
  • Get him a practical item.
  • Get him something that will heal his inner child

Why completely understanding him will make him worship you:

For a lot of us, love is a long journey of failing at it and learning about ourselves. Learning how it is we want to be loved.

For the lucky ones, they might get it right quickly. For a lot of us, it’ll take a few more tries.

But when someone right comes along, bringing all of their love with them…they come equipped and ready to know your soul.

To love all the parts of you others have thrown away before. To love, cherish, and understand who you are, even the parts of you that you run away from.

That feels like salvation. That feels like the kind of love that not all of us get to have.

That’s why.

“But there are too many to do, can I only do 1 or 2?” 

To be clear, this is not a manual. This isn’t a strict step-by-step itemization of all that needs to go right.

This isn’t emotional bingo, and people’s thresholds are different from each other. However, what this should help you with is seeing what’s going right.

And what are the potential red flags in the making. As I said, give and take and respect are the constant themes of this article, the red flags should be glowing bright red if there are any. 

“Can I make him worship me without doing any of these?” or “Will he never leave me if I do all these things?”

Different questions, same answer: It depends on your man. 

I told you, there is nothing in this world that—in good conscience—can make an unwilling man do what you want him to do.

You can love someone so well and they might still cheat. (But that’s not on you, bestie. Let’s save that conversation for another article.)

You can love someone to the best of your abilities and they might still leave. They might still fall out of love.

They might still love you as much today and tomorrow but leave the day after. That is the nature of love. 

You can only try.

You can only learn, you can only grow.

Okay, a tidy summary now before I let you go…

That was a conversation AND A HALF, wasn’t it? It was a lot to get through. Do you still have that drink I asked you to have at the start?

Anyway, here’s a skimmable summary that you can even carry with you in your back pocket. 

The 10 things that make men worship women:

  1. When you respect yourself. 
  2. When you’re cool, calm, collected.
  3. When you don’t lose your fire.
  4. When you’re confident about your body.
  5. When you’re assertive and know what you want.
  6. When he knows you have his back.
  7. When you treat him well.
  8. When you allow him to show his softer side.
  9. When you let him spoil you.
  10. When you completely understand him.

Contexts to remember:

  • Having a man willing to worship you with all this love and devotion is already half the battle won.
  • With that said, an unwilling man will make the road difficult. Perhaps it will never happen.
  • This kind of love should be give and take.
  • With that said, if you give him the best treatment but he doesn’t reciprocate or even gives you the barest minimum, maybe think twice about the situation. 
  • The journey to self-confidence is a rocky one but if done successfully is such a power move. The right man will be attracted to that. 
  • Treat ourselves the way we want to be treated and watch that affect how we are perceived.
  • Men also need emotional support. 
  • Be his safest space. Allow him to be vulnerable in your presence. Accompany him in his journey to healing. 

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