We can’t choose who we fall in love with, and sometimes, that person might be a married man.
Are you currently dating a man who is married?
This can be a tricky situation, especially when he says he likes you but still talks about his wife.
If you are experiencing this scenario, here are 12 tips on what you can do:
1) Be ready for a tough road
If you find yourself in this situation, you may have to prepare yourself for a tough road.
The man you’re dating may not be ready to leave his wife and it could take a while before he’s ready to take that step.
You see, even if he is just as in love with you as you are with him, marriage is a special bond that is not always easy to break.
You may have to wait for him to decide to leave his wife, or you may have to choose that your relationship doesn’t work out.
In both cases, it’s good to know the situation before you get into the relationship.
The thing is, even if he wants to leave his wife, divorce can be a long and strenuous road, and you might have to keep your relationship hidden for a long time due to legal reasons.
Apart from all that, you will obviously have to live with the fact that you broke up a marriage, which is tough, to begin with.
This is why the first tip for you is to just prepare yourself for a tough road ahead, no matter what happens.
2) Don’t be blindsided
One of the most important things to do is make sure you’re not blindsided.
If you find out about his marriage after he’s been with you for a while, you shouldn’t take that lightly.
You see, even if you are “the other woman” if he didn’t tell you about his marriage right away, he lied to you.
Think about that before you make any further decisions with this man.
Is he gonna lie about other things, as well?
If you’re still considering this man as a potential boyfriend, or even a future husband, make sure you know everything about him before you go any further.
3) Bring out his inner hero
Okay, this tip is for when you are absolutely sure you want to be with this man and you want to give him the final nudge to leave his wife: bring out his inner hero.
You see, there’s a new theory in the relationship world that’s causing quite a stir – it’s called the hero instinct.
Coined by relationship expert James Bauer, this fascinating concept finally explains how men really think and feel in relationships.
And it’s something most women have never even heard of.
According to James Bauer, men don’t actually need a lot to feel content in their relationships. In fact, what they need has nothing to do with sex.
Men have certain innate drivers. And when a woman comes along and triggers them, it causes a powerful response.
The result is a man who loves harder, commits wholeheartedly, and truly dedicates himself to the relationship.
So, how can you trigger your man’s hero instinct?
The easiest thing to do is to watch this simple and genuine video by James Bauer.
The truth is, once you understand how the hero instinct works, there’s no telling what heights your relationship can reach.
So if you want to give your man what he truly wants from you, make sure to check out James Bauer’s excellent video.
In it, he reveals the exact texts and phrases you can use straight away.
4) Keep an open mind
One of the most important things to remember is that you can’t change what he does.
Even if you tell him how you feel, the situation may not change. However, it’s important to keep an open mind and understand that he might be going through a tough time right now.
If you truly love him, then don’t give up on him too easily. You see, if what he says is truthful, then he will do anything to make the relationship work.
Keeping an open mind during this transitory period will be important if you want any chance for this relationship to work.
However, as much as I say to keep an open mind, you might want to rethink the relationship if he has no plans of telling his wife about you or getting a divorce.
From woman to woman, we are better than that. You don’t want to contribute to another woman’s pain, do you?
I mean really if he will be honest with his wife and give her the chance to leave and find someone who respects her, perfect.
If not – you have to choose whether you want to live with that.
5) Communicate, even if you are feeling hurt
Communication is key to any relationship, but it’s even more important in this situation.
It doesn’t matter how you feel about what he’s saying, you should still communicate with him.
I know, you might feel like your feelings don’t matter as much because you’re not the one in a marriage, but your emotions are just as important as his!
If you are feeling hurt, you need to talk to him about that, because if you can’t do that, what good is the relationship, anyway?
You see, in order for this to work, he will have to make a decision between you or his wife, and you need to talk to him about that.
Being afraid of that conversation is normal, but for both your sake and his wife’s, it’s important.
If you’re unhappy with the current situation and talking to him about it isn’t enough, ask for time to process what’s going on.
6) Set clear expectations and boundaries
You should set boundaries early on and make sure it is clear that you are not his wife and that you need him to end things if he wants to pursue a relationship with you.
Communication is key in this situation.
Setting boundaries early on can avoid any miscommunication. It is also important to establish boundaries like how much time you spend together and the type of relationship you want with him.
For example, does he want to stay married to his wife? That would make you the side chick, which, I mean ultimately it’s your decision, but do you really want to do that to his wife?
These conversations can help avoid complications later on in the relationship.
7) Voice your emotions
If you are feeling hurt and unappreciated, it’s important to communicate with him and express your feelings.
If you don’t, you’ll have a bad relationship with him on top of the fact that he is cheating on his wife.
You need to be honest and open about what’s going on in your relationship so that both parties can make the best decision for everyone involved.
If you’re not honest, it will be hard for him to know how you feel.
You see, the fact that he’s still with his wife could also be based on him not knowing whether you see this relationship with him as serious.
Why would he leave his wife for someone who might not even want a relationship with him?
Unless he knows how serious you are about him and the relationship, he might not be ready to leave his wife.
I mentioned this fascinating concept earlier: the hero instinct. When a man’s inner hero is triggered, he’s more likely to commit to you and leave his wife.
Just by knowing the right things to say to him, you’ll open a part of him that no woman has ever reached before.
And the best way to do so is by watching this free video by James Bauer. In it, he’ll reveal simple phrases and texts you can use to make your man truly yours.
8) Let him know what you need in a relationship
When you’re with a married man, you need to be clear about what you need in the relationship.
First of all, you’ll need to make it clear whether or not you want him to leave his wife. After all, you don’t want to just be the woman he cheats on his wife with, right?
Then, you need to tell him that once he leaves his wife, you want an exclusive relationship (if that’s what you want).
If he doesn’t feel ready to leave his wife, then that’s not the right guy for you and it’s time to move on.
You see, you deserve to be someone’s top choice, and a married man is already a problematic partner, and that relationship only works when he is 100% committed to being with you and leaving his wife.
If he isn’t ready to leave his wife, then don’t give him a reason to stay.
You see, you need to be clear about what you want and what you’re willing to do for the relationship and he needs to know that too.
9) Don’t rush the process
If you know that the guy you’re seeing is married and you’re not in a rush to get into a relationship, give him and yourself some time.
The best thing you can do right now is to learn as much about this man’s history before you make any hasty decisions.
He needs to figure out what he wants before anything else happens with you two.
You want to make sure that he knows that if he’s going to leave his wife for your sake, it won’t be an easy road.
There will be plenty of challenges ahead, and he needs to know that and weigh out the pros and cons before making any decisions.
Plus, you should also consider whether this is something you are ready to do.
I mean, being the woman someone cheats on their wife with is not a great situation to be in in the first place, but are you ready for him to leave his wife for you?
That’s a pretty serious commitment!
After all, you don’t want to break up a marriage just to then break up with him a few months later, right?
I repeat: do not rush this process.
This is something you need to take your time and think about, and you don’t want to be the reason why he ends up leaving his wife.
You’ll also need to make sure that you are prepared for him to leave his wife for you.
If a married man is going to leave his wife for you, then he’s going to want some things from you that you might not be prepared for.
Take your time before making any haste decisions.
10) Take care of yourself
The most important thing you should do is take care of yourself.
This means getting adequate sleep, exercise, and good nutrition. It also means spending time with friends, family, and maybe even seeing a therapist.
This can help you feel in control again and give you the chance to put your own needs first for a change.
You see, being in this situation is everything but easy, also for you!
So in order to not lose yourself in the process, you should make sure to take good care of yourself on all levels, physically, mentally, and spiritually.
Plus, talking to friends or family about your problems will help you gain some perspective on the situation and maybe help you make the right decision.
If you are currently in a relationship with a married man, it is important to consider your own happiness.
You should not sacrifice yourself for the sake of another person.
11) Figure out what you really want
You may be in a situation where you are dating a married man because you want to see if you can make it work.
If this is the case, figure out whether or not you want to go through with it.
Think about how much time you are willing to put into this relationship and how serious you are about your feelings for him.
I mean think about it: when he leaves his wife for you, that’s a heavyweight to carry and a lot of pressure to make this relationship between you two work.
If that’s not really what you want, you have to consider whether you really want to be the side chick.
Wouldn’t it be better to move on to someone you really care about and who only has eyes for you?
Now, the other thing you might figure out is that you really want to commit to this man.
Now: if he says he doesn’t want to leave his wife, then it’s likely that he does not want to get a divorce.
In that case, it’s best that you cut off communication with him and move on in life.
He will always be married and will never be yours if he can’t choose you.
12) Move on instead of being the other girl
As a single woman, you don’t want to be the “other woman.”
You want to be the one who is loved and respected. You want to be the one who gets all of his attention.
If you will always be the other girl in his eyes because he doesn’t want to get a divorce, I would seriously urge you to move on.
How do you know he is serious about you?
You might be wondering how you can tell that he is serious about you and will prioritize you over his wife.
Here are a few signs:
He makes an effort for you
When he makes an effort for you and tries to make you happy, that is a good first sign that he will actually commit to you and leave his wife.
He tells you he loves you
If he tells you that he loves you and that you mean a lot to him, that’s a sign that he might be willing to leave his wife.
But be careful with this one, though, people often say things without meaning them.
He shows his love in more than just words
When he shows his love in more than just words, it’s a good sign that he might be serious about you.
He makes active plans to end things with his wife
Okay, this one is the most important one, without this, the other signs don’t really mean anything!
If he makes active plans to end things with his wife, then it’s most likely that he is serious about you and that he is willing to leave his wife.
Without seeing him actively take steps towards divorce, he is just all talk and nothing behind it.
Make sure that you respect yourself enough to walk away if he doesn’t do anything about his situation.
Stay true to yourself
My biggest tip for all of this?
Stay true to yourself, girl. Do you really want to be the other woman?
If this man is not planning on leaving his wife, or you don’t want to commit to him fully, then what are you doing with him?
In reality, you are just hurting another woman who is fully trusting her husband.
You see, make sure that you know exactly what you want and that you are okay with the consequences of your decisions.
And if you really want to commit to this man?
I touched on the hero instinct earlier – it’s the perfect remedy for the situation you’re facing.
Because once a man’s hero instinct is triggered, he’ll only have eyes for you. You’ll reach a part of him that no woman has ever managed to reach before.
And in return, he’ll be compelled to commit to you and love you like he’s never loved another woman.
So if you’re ready to take that plunge and reach new heights in your relationship, make sure to check out relationship expert James Bauer’s invaluable advice.
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.
I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.