The internet has opened up international communication to a new level with the introduction of online dating and social media.
As technology continues to evolve, it becomes harder than ever for couples living far apart to maintain a relationship.
This post will cover 14 easy steps that you can take to break up your long-distance relationship painlessly so you’ll never have any regrets! Let’s get started:
14 easy steps to break up your long-distance relationship
1) Express your feelings
The first thing you need to do is to express your feelings in a way that the other person can understand. This means doing it in a way that isn’t threatening, aggressive, or disrespectful.
Expressing your frustrations without getting angry will help you both understand each other better and work things out.
Here’s the step-by-step process to express your feelings:
- Think about how you want to approach the subject of breaking up your long-distance relationship. Consider using a tone that is kind and respectful, but firm. Don’t threaten, intimidate, or behave aggressively towards your partner as this will only create more friction between you.
- Tell your partner that you’ve been feeling stressed out recently due to having to deal with long-distance issues and that it’s gotten in the way of enjoying your time together.
- Explain that the distance between you is what’s stopping you and your partner from having the healthy, fulfilling relationship that you both deserve.
- Be honest about your feelings. If it’s impossible for you to be with this person at this time, then tell them so. Tell them how much time it will take for them to move near you or for you to relocate to their area if that’s an option for you both.
- Acknowledge that you still care about your partner, but that the distance between you is preventing you from being able to move forward with the relationship.
- If the other person starts to argue, just repeat yourself over and over until they see reason or until they break down in tears.
- Make sure your partner understands what it’s like for you to be apart so they can empathize with how hard it’s been on you.
2) Create boundaries and rules
The next step is to create boundaries and rules to avoid unnecessary arguments and misunderstandings.
Boundaries are the things that you will not tolerate when in a relationship. They’re the guiding principles of the relationship. Your boundaries should make sense for you, so make sure they work with your values and lifestyle.
In order to establish clear boundaries, you need to clearly communicate what those boundaries are with your partner. This will help both of you understand where each other stands, which can help protect against future problems and arguments.
The key is to communicate in an assertive way that can’t be misinterpreted.
If you have any past experience with setting boundaries, you might have found a lot of resistance, confusion, and even anger and “storming out of the room.”
If this happens to you, don’t worry! It’s probably due to the fact that your boundaries aren’t being communicated assertively.
3) Communicate with mutual friends about your relationship
I know breaking up with someone is hard and you don’t want to hurt their feelings.
In order to make the process of breaking up your long-distance relationship as painless as possible, you need to be honest with them from the very beginning. Think about who your “people” are in your life.
Your mutual friends and family are in a unique position to understand what’s going on between you both and how hard it can be for you two to communicate properly due to distance.
So what you need to do is tell them exactly how your relationship is going and ask them to voice some concerns.
Tell them you want their help in creating a break-up plan that won’t cause problems for either of you.
Also, this is a chance to clear up any misunderstandings you might have about your relationship, including:
- What’s the real reason you are breaking up?
- Has your partner been cheating?
- Will you see each other again in the future?
4) Resist the temptation to “hear” their voice on the phone
Trust me, getting that phone call from your long-distance partner saying, “I miss you and I am on my way over” is absolutely wonderful. However, these types of calls can create a false sense of security between you two.
To break up your long-distance relationship, you must avoid this as much as possible, as it can prevent you from moving forward.
Want to know the best tip to avoid this trap?
Just get tailor-made advice for your situation! It can be helpful to speak to a relationship coach about your situation.
Relationship Hero is a popular site where highly trained relationship coaches help people work through complex relationship issues, like breaking up your long-distance relationship. Their popularity boils down to how skilled their coaches are.
Why am I so confident that they can help you?
Well, after recently experiencing a tough patch in my own relationship, I reached out to them for help. From the moment I got in touch, I was given genuine, helpful advice, and was finally able to see my relationship issues with real clarity.
I was blown away by how kind and empathetic my coach was.
Within minutes, you could be receiving life-changing advice on how to navigate and repair the issues you’re facing in your relationship.
5) Use time zones to your advantage
This might sound a bit ridiculous, but it’s important to keep in mind that the time zone differences between you both might make your long-distance relationship easier to break.
This is because you can use them to your advantage by keeping a safe distance between you both.
For example, if you live in a zone where the time is 12 hours ahead, then you can actually use the distance between you both to your advantage by avoiding each other for 12 hours of the day. This will prevent any temptations, disagreements or arguments from breaking out.
This might not be possible for everyone, but it’s worth looking into if you are feeling overwhelmed with the current level of contact in your relationship.
6) Give your relationship time to adjust to the change in circumstances
The next step in breaking up a long-distance relationship is understanding that there will be some adjustments to make.
As time passes, you might find yourself becoming more and more desensitized to each other as time goes on, which is completely normal.
Don’t worry though!
You shouldn’t have any problem dealing with the changes because they’re not permanent, they’re just a part of life. Not only that but it’s important to understand that most people who embark on new relationships are in the same boat.
But the bottom line is this:
There will be an adjustment period.
Don’t allow this period to last too long – it’s important to keep things fresh and interesting in your relationship by increasing the amount of time you spend together in person.
7) Maintain a strong sense of independence
You’re having a long-distance relationship and you realize your feeling is not the same as it once was.
You can’t help but notice how your relationship is slowly fading away as you spend more and more time apart.
You reach out to your partner, but they always seem so busy that they perhaps don’t have time for you.
Why is this important?
This way, you can keep your own life interesting and interesting to others. Making more of a conscious effort to maintain personal interests and hobbies will help you break up your long-distance relationship.
By building up a strong sense of personal independence, you won’t feel so desperate to be with each other as much.
8) Hide the evidence of how you feel
You might think that hiding your feelings is a bad idea. But if you want to break up your long-distance relationship, then it’s something that you should consider.
It’s because when you don’t hide your feelings as a result, you’re forced to put more effort into repairing the issues between you both.
This can be problematic for two reasons:
Firstly, forcing yourself to put in more effort can make the process of ending your relationship even harder than it needs to be.
Secondly, it can cause you to do things you don’t want to do. Like act really strangely or say things you don’t mean.
So as silly as it sounds, it can be important to try and hide your feelings so that all problems aren’t made worse. Don’t allow the issues between you two to get in the way of your relationship. Just remember that there are ups and downs and if these emotions are causing problems then use them as a motivation to continue on in a positive direction.
9) Apologize for things you did wrong
Of course, we all make mistakes.
And if you’re going to break up your long-distance relationship, then these mistakes can cause problems between you and your partner.
But that’s not to say that making them is a bad thing.
These mistakes are a great way for you to understand how each other works and what needs to change in order for you two to manage the distance in your relationship.
Don’t be afraid to apologize for the mistakes you made. You can use this to help your long-distance relationship take a positive turn.
Want to know the best part?
Your partner will be able to stop blaming themselves.
By apologizing for your mistakes and making a conscious effort to move on from them, you not only help yourself but you can also help your partner feel better about their own part in the relationship.
This will help you break up your long-distance relationship with less pressure on both of you.
10) Embrace the tough times
This is a very important point that you shouldn’t miss out on!
Long-distance relationships are tough.
We all know this – it’s not something to be taken lightly.
And it’s even hard to find a way to break up a long-distance relationship that isn’t too harsh. Sometimes the best solutions are the harshest.
This is why you need to embrace the tough times in your relationship.
Because if you let these tough times get to you, it can make things even harder for you both.
So don’t allow yourself to fall into a trap of getting mad and becoming resentful.
Let these tough times pass and take one step at a time. Life might get really hard, but remember that there are many positive aspects to long-distance relationships.
Sometimes the best way to deal with problems is not by ignoring them… but by dealing with them head-on and tackling them immediately!
11) Avoid contact
As we’ve discussed above, avoiding contact can be quite a difficult thing to do for those in long-distance relationships.
But this is exactly what you can use to your advantage!
By avoiding contact with your partner, you can help them get use to their new life as a single person. And by doing this, you’ll be able to create more distance between the two of you so that it’s easier for you both to break up.
But here’s the deal:
If you’re having a hard time doing this, don’t worry! There are lots of things you can do to help you out. The best way to avoid contact is to use technology to make it easier for you.
Instead of interacting with your partner through social media, try using apps like Instagram or Whatsapp Messenger and sharing pictures and videos of your own life rather than looking through your significant other’s adventures.
This will help them get used to being apart from you and they won’t feel like they’re missing out on too much information.
12) Ignore social media
Not only does this help you to avoid contact, but it can also make the breakup process easier for you both.
By doing this, you’ll be able to increase the distance between you two and keep yourself from looking at your partner’s every move on social media.
This will give them less of an opportunity to get in touch with you and engage with your relationship when they no longer have to.
13) Focus on getting back into old hobbies
I bet you’re tired of reading tips that involve breaking your long-distance relationship, but I’m going to tell you anyway because I think it’s important!
And the reason for this is because, as much as breaking up with someone can be difficult and awkward, doing so can also be an awesome opportunity for you to create new hobbies and interests.
If you find yourself in a really tough time doing this, then remember that you could always use the break-up as a motivation to make new friends or get back into old hobbies.
This is a good way for you to get back into a healthy, positive relationship with no bad feelings or regrets.
And all it takes is using this time to start thinking about things that you really enjoy doing… like volunteering at a pet shelter or joining a dance school.
Hey, if this doesn’t work then I don’t know what will!
14) Build a new foundation for your life that doesn’t include them
It often takes time for everyone to be able to accept the fact that a long-distance relationship has ended, but once you do get over it, you’ll realize that it was for the best.
And if you’re still having issues with breaking up your long-distance relationship and want to try something new, then here’s some advice:
You can always try your hand at something new.
Maybe it’s joining a new sports league or finding a new hobby.
No matter what you do, just remember that there are always things that you can try to do to keep yourself on the straight and narrow of life.
Consider what this could mean for you and your long-distance relationship. And if you’re still having trouble doing this, then keep looking for things that you like to do and try making them work.
Though I’d suggest trying to find a way to meet someone new and moving on from your long-distance relationship with them.
Saying goodbye can be hard and people usually don’t understand that it takes time for people to get over emotional connections like these.
We’ve covered just about everything a person can do to make breaking up their long-distance relationship a bit easier for themselves.
Just remember that it might take some time, but it’s completely possible.
The best thing to do is to try to see your long-distance relationship as a learning experience that you’ll learn from throughout your life.
There’s no guarantee that you’ll be able to have the same sort of relationship again, but with a little work and thought, you can set yourself up for a better relationship the next time around.
And you’ll be able to enjoy all of your adventures while they’re still there looking back at you!
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.
I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.