“It’s been 3 months and he still hasn’t asked me to be his girlfriend” – 14 tips if this is you

We sometimes include products we think are useful for our readers. If you buy through links on this page, we may earn a small commission. Read our affiliate disclosure.

So, you like someone. They’re cute, smart, funny, and super sweet. They’re also the kind of person who makes butterflies appear in your stomach when you see them. 

But the problem is that this person doesn’t like you back. And it’s been more than 3 months now! 

What should you do? Give up? Will I end this relationship as an unrequited love forever? Or try to crack it? Let us take a look at – 14 tips if he hasn’t asked you to be his girlfriend after 3 months.

1) Ask yourself why he’s not making a move

Let’s start with the first step of understanding why he still hasn’t asked you to be his girlfriend.

Yes, I get that it’s already been 3 months since you’ve been together and now you’re wondering if he is interested in you or not.

But before you conclude anything, ask yourself: Why is he taking so much time?

Is it because he just wants to be friends? Or does he want to give you some space and time? Or maybe he’s not ready for a relationship yet? Or, maybe he’s waiting for something from you.

But what if he doesn’t think that three months is enough?

Let’s be honest.

Sometimes a few months isn’t enough time to fully get to know someone.

Maybe you two are not ready for a relationship yet. Or maybe there’s something wrong with the way you approach him and he’s just not responding to you.

So, before you jump to any conclusion, ask yourself, why is he taking so much time? What are his intentions?

This is the million-dollar question.

After all, if you know the reason, you can be better prepared to tackle it.

While we can only go by what we know about this person, you should ask yourself if you have been giving him any signs that you are interested in him.

If you have, are you showing too much interest too soon?

Maybe he’s the shy type and can’t bring himself to tell you that he likes you.

Be sure that there’s a reason behind why your boyfriend hasn’t asked you to be his girlfriend yet. And the best way to answer this question is to look for answers for yourself.

So, here’s what you should do: ask yourself why he hasn’t made a move.

Do you know? Can you figure it out? I mean, what’s stopping him from asking for your hand in a relationship?

  • Do you have any mutual friends or colleagues who can tell you more about him?
  • Try to find out if he has anyone special in his life right now. Or is he still single and available?
  • Maybe he’s waiting for something concrete. A sign that you like him back. If this is the case, then show him that you like him back! Give him a sign! A subtle one though, don’t scare him away!
  • Do ask yourself if any other girls are competing with you for his attention. If there are, then that could be one of the reasons why he hasn’t asked you to be his girlfriend yet. So try to see if there are any

That way, you’ll understand what’s stopping him from asking you to be his girlfriend. And then you can take the next step of figuring out what to do about it.

2) Stop waiting and make the first move

Are you aware that it’s a common stereotype in our society that men should be the first to ask women out on a date?

I mean, we are used to seeing men doing the asking, right? So it’s only natural that you’re waiting for him to do the asking.

But here’s something you should know: even if being a guy makes him more likely to make the first move, he may not be aware of this. It could be his personal preference that he doesn’t want to ask you out just yet.

So what do you do then? Do you sit back and wait for him to ask you out? Or do you take matters into your own hands and make your move?

If he’s not showing any signs of wanting to go on a date with you, then maybe it’s time for you to make the first move. It could be as simple as inviting him out for coffee or lunch. Just casually mention it when talking with him over chat or text.

Do note that if it’s already been three months since you’ve met, then the next time you hang out don’t invite him to a coffee shop. Ask him out for dinner instead.

Do something that will allow you to spend more time with him. And then go from there…

Why am I saying this?

Well, he may have liked you for a long time, but if you keep making him do all the work and chase you and he can’t gather the courage to ask you out, it will never work out.

Maybe you’ve been waiting for him to make the first move, but he just can’t. Maybe he’s trying so hard to get the courage to talk to you, but in the meantime, you keep missing out on great guys because you keep waiting and hoping.

But if you like him, why not make the first move?

Ask him out.

If he says no, at least you know where you stand and you can move on. If he says yes, you’ve just earned yourself a new boyfriend!

And if he turns you down, at least you know where you stand and that he’s not interested.

3) Don’t make him scared of commitment

Now let me ask you a question.

Are you making him scared of commitment?

Just admit it. Sometimes our actions make men feel like we need them to commit to us before we’re ready to commit ourselves to them.

But if you want a guy who’s going to stick around, you can’t make him scared of commitment.

If you want a guy who sticks around for the long haul, then it’s time to turn things around and start acting like an independent woman who knows what she wants.


Well, the reason is simple:

Commitment is scary. And no matter what we say about it, it is scary!

But if there’s one thing that scares men more than commitment, then it’s having their heart broken by a woman they love.

I mean, who doesn’t want to avoid getting hurt? Who wants to feel pain? No one does, right? 

But here’s something that most people don’t realize: when men decide not to commit because they’re scared of getting hurt, they’re not doing it to be manipulative.

They’re doing it because they have a fear of rejection.

And guess what?

This might be the reason why it’s been 3 months and he still hasn’t asked you to be his girlfriend yet.

In simple words, men don’t want to be rejected. And when you make a man feel like he’s going to get rejected if he commits, he’ll do anything to avoid that feeling. 

That means that when he asks you what your plans are, tell him that you have plans. In fact, tell him that you have plans with other friends as well.

And then let him know that it would be great if he could join in on these plans sometimes too!

This will make him feel like he has an equal opportunity with everyone else – and not just a chance at something exclusive with you.

It will also make him feel good about himself because he will see that his value is not tied up in the fact that he has a relationship with you.

And this might make him think about finally asking you to be his girlfriend.

4) Watch out for red flags if you can

Now, I know what you might be thinking: “But you said that there are no signs that he’s not ready to commit, so how can there be red flags?”

Well, here’s the truth: if you’ve already been together for three months but you can’t notice any sign of commitment, it might really mean that he doesn’t perceive you seriously.

So, what if he really doesn’t see you as a potential girlfriend?

Well, then it’s time to re-evaluate the relationship and your role in it. And for this, you need to watch out for red flags!

So, what are these red flags?

Well, here’s a list of the most common ones:

  • He still doesn’t introduce you to his friends or family.
  • He doesn’t talk about his future with you.
  • He doesn’t tell you about his past.
  • He doesn’t invite you to places with him and other friends.
  • He has no long-term plans for the two of you (no plans for a vacation, no plans for the future at all).

The truth is that when you’ve been together for three months, there shouldn’t be any doubts about your feelings for each other.

If you’re wondering whether or not he might actually want to be with you, then take a moment to think about where he fits into your life.

In other words: does he fit into your life? Or is he just a passing guy? If he’s just a passing guy, then the sooner you realize this the better.  

Because if that’s the case, then there’s no need to be with him at all!

So, if you can see red flags, don’t ignore them. If you think he’s the type to break up and date a different girl every week, then he’s not the one for you no matter how much you like him.

Cut him off before you get too caught up in him. Move on and find someone else.

5) Don’t constantly bring up the idea of being together

Did you know that one of the most common reasons why men don’t hurry to think about serious relationships is women’s tendency to act pushy?

Well, here’s the thing:  guys don’t like it when you act pushy. But if you’re being too clingy,  too needy, too desperate, and too pushy, then he’ll start to feel uncomfortable around you.

And if you do that on a regular basis, he might end up breaking up with you!

You see? This might be the reason why he hasn’t made any plans for the two of you although it’s been 3 months.

So, if you’re constantly bringing up the idea of being together and he’s not doing anything about it, then he might really see you as a friend.

But if that’s the case, then there’s no reason to push him into something that he doesn’t want.

If that’s what you’re doing, then you need to stop it right away!  Because if you don’t, things might get worse and worse and worse…

So, what should you do? Well, first of all: stop trying to rush things. And second of all: start spending time with him as a friend.

And maybe in time, things will change! But only if he wants them to change!

So, what should you do? Well, here are some tips:

  • Don’t pressure him into talking about the future. 
  • Don’t ask him to make plans for the two of you.
  • Don’t check in on him all the time.

6) Stop hoping and start moving on

Let’s be honest.

Hope is a cruel mistress. She keeps you waiting and hoping for the impossible.

When you keep hoping that he’ll change his mind, you let yourself get trapped in a state of unrequited love that is not good for your mental health.

But what can you do instead of sit and hoping that he’ll someday ask you to be his girlfriend?

Move on! Find someone new and exciting. There are plenty of guys out there who will be more than happy to be with you.

Here’s the thing: if you’re hoping that he’ll make some plans with you, then this is not helping your cause. Because hope never helps!

Now, I know that you probably think that hope is something good. But it’s not! Because when you hope for something, you end up getting disappointed most of the time. And if this happens over and over again, then it will start to affect your self-esteem.

And if that happens, then things might get even worse and worse and worse… Instead of moving forward with your life, you will end up stuck in the past and constantly thinking about him.

7) Consider the possibility that you may be wrong about him

Now let’s talk honestly once again.

Are you so sure that he likes you? Is he sending you any signals that he likes you? Are you reading too much into the situation?

Maybe you’re taking things way too fast and are being too hasty. Maybe you’ve misread the situation and are thinking that he likes you when in fact, he’s not interested in you at all.

Does this sound familiar to you?

I’m guessing that it does because this is one of the most common mistakes women make when they get involved in unrequited love.

Unfortunately, they tend to think that he likes them when in reality, he doesn’t even know who they are.

But you don’t want to end up being one of these women, do you? So why not reconsider your feelings for him and take a step back?

After all, the possibility that you’re wrong about him is always there. And if you’re not careful, you might end up getting hurt.

So why not try to figure out whether he likes you or not by using the signs of interest I mentioned above?

If he doesn’t show any signs of interest, then it’s time to move on. Because if he doesn’t like you, it’s better to find out now than later when things get even more complicated and messy.

8) Don’t overthink and don’t give up

Do you notice that whenever you think about him, you get all worked up and anxious?

I know I’ve been there before. Whenever I fall in love with someone, my mind starts racing and I start thinking about the situation over and over again.

But here’s what I’ve learned: it’s much better to keep your cool and not overthink things. Otherwise, you might end up going crazy!

What do I mean when I say overthinking?

Well, when you overthink things, you tend to look at the situation from every angle and draw all sorts of conclusions.

You start wondering whether he likes you or not, and whether he’ll ever like you or not. You wonder what it is about you that doesn’t attract him. You wonder why he doesn’t approach you when in reality, it has nothing to do with you.

And I know what it feels like to overthink things because I used to do it as well. But after a while, I learned that it wasn’t helping me in any way, shape, or form. And that if anything, overthinking was just making me feel worse and worse about myself.

So here’s what I started doing: whenever my thoughts got out of control, I would take a step back and focus on the present moment instead of worrying about the future.

This helped me deal with the problem of my overthinking in a much better way.

Although this may seem like a bad idea, it is still better than giving up and taking no action at all.

So, don’t sit and obsess over the relationship. Don’t put yourself in a box where you constantly analyze every single moment of your relationship.

That will only make you crazy. Instead, take a break from him and put some distance between the two of you. If he likes you, he will let you know. If he doesn’t, he will also let you know.

9) Take some time to figure out if this is who you want to be with

Are you absolutely sure that this is the person you want to be with?

There’s no point in developing feelings for someone who is not good enough for you. And it’s better to figure out your true feelings before you get hurt.

Don’t let your emotions trick you into thinking that he is the one. Because if he really was, then it would be a lot easier for him to show you his interest, right?

Let me explain.

If you really like this guy, then consider taking it slow and taking your time to figure out if you want to be with him or not.

Don’t give in and don’t rush into anything just because you feel pressured to be with someone.

Take your time and see if he’s really the one you want to be with.


Because you don’t want to end up with a guy who doesn’t treat you right, right? That’s why you should never settle for anything less than you deserve.

So,  if he’s not good enough for you, then you need to move on and find someone who is.

You only have one life to live. Don’t waste your time on people who are not worth it.

10) Have an honest chat with him

Have you ever thought about asking him directly what’s going on?

If he is not interested in you, then why not just come out and ask him?

This is the best way to find out if he likes you or not. It’s better to know that he doesn’t like you than to waste your time on someone who doesn’t care about you at all.

It may be hard for you to do this because it means facing your fears and finding out the truth. But believe me, it is worth it in the long run.

So, if you really like him, then there’s no harm in being honest about how you feel.

Just ask him straight out if he likes you or not. If he does, then great! You can take things further with him. If not, then there’s no point in torturing yourself over someone who doesn’t even know that you exist.

11) Look at your relationship objectively

Do you want to get another important tip to make him want you to be his girlfriend?

Then listen to me:

You need to look at your relationship objectively, without getting caught up in the emotions.

And you also need to see whether or not this is a healthy relationship or not!

If it is healthy, then it will grow into love, and you will be his girlfriend. But if it is unhealthy, then it won’t work out.

What do I mean by this?

Well,  if you want to make him want you to be his girlfriend, you need to stop living in a fantasy world and start looking at things the way they really are.

Don’t think about how much he likes you or how cute he is when he does something for you.

Just look at the facts.

  • How often does he call or text you?
  • What does he say when he texts or calls?
  • How much time does he spend with you?
  • Does he do anything that makes you feel special?

If so, then great! If not, then ask yourself if this is the kind of relationship that you want to continue with or not.

It may be time for a change if things aren’t going well already. But what can I do if things are already bad between us? Then it’s time to end it.

12) Know when to walk away

If you want to know how to get him to be your boyfriend, then you need to know when it’s time for you to walk away.  

For example, there are times when it’s best if you end the relationship before he does.

And for you to make him want you, then some things must happen:  You need to be able to walk away because if not, your relationship will never improve and he will never ask you out on a date or ask you out on a second date.  

So in order for him to ask you out, again and again, he must have the impression that he can lose you at any moment.  

So remember this:  Don’t wait until he cheats on you or breaks up with you before deciding that it’s time for you two to part ways! You may have heard of “ghosting”, which is where you stop all communication with him, and he never hears from you again.

This is an extreme way of doing things, but it does work, so don’t be afraid to do it if you need to.  

If you want to know how to get him to be your boyfriend, then this is a very important step and one that you must take seriously.  If not, then he will never ask you out on another date!

13) Be chill. Don’t constantly show your affection and care

Another important thing that you need to remember is to not be so clingy and needy.  If you want to know how to get him to be your boyfriend, then you need to give him space.

Yes, it’s been 3 months and you have the right to open up with him but still:

Don’t constantly show your affection or care for him all the time.  He will start to feel smothered and that he can’t live without you, which is what every guy wants, but doesn’t want to admit it!

So give him some space and let him miss you.  When he does contact you again, don’t make it seem like the end of the world if he hasn’t been in contact with you for a day or so!  

Don’t worry about it too much! Just laugh it off and tell him that everything is fine.

14) Confidence is key

And finally, if you want to know how to get him to be your boyfriend, focus on your confidence. If you have confidence, then everything else will fall into place.

The simple truth is that confidence shows in everything that you do, from the way that you speak to the way that you walk.  Confidence is key because it will make him want to spend more time with you and he will feel comfortable around you.

If you’re not confident in yourself and your relationship, then he will never ask you out again.  Don’t try too hard and don’t make him feel like he needs to impress you.  Be confident in the fact that he already has!

It’s easy for us girls to forget that we are the prize and not the other way around!

If a guy is interested in a girl, then she knows it.  She doesn’t need to know it by constantly being told how beautiful she is or how much of a catch she would be for any other guy!

So remember: don’t be afraid of being confident!  Confidence will help you get him quicker than anything else will!

Final thoughts

It’s been three months and he still hasn’t asked you to be his girlfriend.

While there are many things you can try to get him to do just that, they won’t work overnight.

But I know something that does.

It’s called the Hero Instinct and if you trigger it in this guy, he’ll not only ask you to be his girlfriend, but he’ll also commit to you wholeheartedly.

This is something that relationship guru James Bauer discovered while researching relationships. He found that if you trigger a man’s Hero Instinct, then he’ll not only be all in, but he’ll also feel like a hero in your life.

So, how do you trigger this thing? Watch James Bauer’s free video and find out.

In it, he reveals the exact texts and phrases to say so that the guy thinks about you all the time, asks you to be his girlfriend, and commits to you wholeheartedly.

He’ll share everything you need to know about a man’s innate drives so that you can start right away and enjoy the results.

Click here to watch the excellent free video.

Did you like our article? Like me on Facebook to see more articles like this in your feed.