Is she interested or just being nice? 10 signs to look out for

“How can I tell if she likes me or not?”

“Why are women so complicated?”

I can’t count the number of times men have asked me this question. My answer? We are often misunderstood. Also, you can’t box all women to fit your standards!

But yes, at the same time, I sympathize with anyone who has ever had the pleasure of trying to decode a woman.

Differentiating between “friendly” and “flirty” can be very tricky. So how do you know when a woman is interested in you or just being nice?

Here are the ten tell-tale signs that you must look out for, or else, you’ll risk missing your chance!

1) Eye contact – and a lot of it

They say the eyes are the windows to the soul – and with good reason.

In a person’s eyes, you can sense either authenticity or deceit. You can break down their façade with nothing more than a glimpse.

When you’re having a conversation, it’s pretty normal to look into the eyes of the other person as a sign of respect. Maybe she’s really interested in what you have to say. She might look another way, get distracted, and then refocus.

But making definite eye contact that’s only locked onto you? That’s not just for everyone.

If a woman simply smiles and listens to what you’re saying, she’s just being nice. But if she maintains prolonged eye contact and seems very focused on you, then it’s you that she’s interested in!

It doesn’t matter if a guy is reading poetry or an instruction manual, if a girl is smitten with you, she will not be afraid to stare!

2) She invites you to hang out with friends

But even with stolen or deliberate glances, best believe that if she likes you, she wants to know more about you.

When it comes to “hanging out,” traditional men usually ask to spend time with women they’re interested in.  

As a woman who dated a lot in her younger years, most of the time, I could easily tell whether a guy was asking me to hang out as one of the boys or as his potential girl whom he wants to introduce to his pack.

Men have many giveaway signs – they’re not good at being discreet. You can see it in their smirks and their blatant teasing.

For women, though, it’s more complicated. If there’s a counterpart to a poker face when we’re around the guy we like, then we’ve mastered it.

If she invites you to hang out with friends, pay attention to how often she does it and how her friends behave around you. If she can’t tell you outright, then her friends might give a hint or two!

Does she casually invite you to places or only on special occasions? If a woman wants you to hang out constantly with other people around, and her friend group doesn’t pay more attention to you than necessary, then she’s probably just being nice and wants you to feel part of the squad.

However, if she only does so on special occasions, like a birthday or a celebration, then she might see something in you that makes her put a little boundary between friendship and a possible relationship. Her friends would be all over you, too!

After all, if it’s a special day, then she’s going to show up looking extra pampered and made up. She wants you to see her looking her best.

3) She treats you ‘a little extra’

When you’re done analyzing how her friends behave around you, you can now attempt to decode how she treats you.

Generally, women are known to be naturally affectionate and caring, which can be confusing, especially when you like her.

Does she treat you the same way she does other people, or does she pay extra attention when it comes to you?

One of the hints that I tried to show my boyfriend when we were starting out was to make extra sure that he’d be more than comfortable in the things we do together.

For example, whenever I’m with friends at the cinema, I would usually take the lead and tell them what we will watch. I’m the designated movie expert. My friends know it’s my turf.

But with him, I would try and ask him first and see what he prefers to see, a role that I don’t just delegate to anybody!

A girl makes sure that a guy truly enjoys his time around her because she wants to be associated with good and positive memories – always!

4) She asks you about your relationship status

Maybe after a movie or two, she starts to ask you the big questions.

We might beat around the bush initially, but if we’re interested, we’ll ask you about your relationship status, impliedly or directly.

Pay attention to the type of questions she asks and how she asks them.

Does she seem to really care who you’re into, or is she just asking you about it because you asked her first? If she’s simply returning the questions, then most probably, she’s just being nice.

If she seems to be asking many questions about the “other girl” you say you’re into, there might be a reason for her curiosity.

Be careful, though. Whether you’re single or not, her curiosity may or may not be for her sake. She could be asking you those questions for someone she’s planning on setting you up with, so don’t always take her curiosity to mean what you want it to mean!

So how can you deal with decoding mixed signals in a practical way?

I know just the thing – the free Love and Intimacy video by the world-renowned shaman Rudá Iandê. 

While watching it, I felt like someone understood my struggles to find love (and keep it) for the first time – and finally offered an actual solution to trying to figure out if somebody likes me or not.

But it all starts with your inner relationship. Once you learn how to love yourself, giving, receiving and recognizing love becomes a whole lot easier!

If you’re ready to take that journey, click here to watch the incredible free video.

5) She takes great interest in what you do

After asking about your relationship status and if she likes what she hears, women typically engage in FBI behavior.

What do you like to do in your free time?

We’re not always curious about everyone. We can hardly keep track of the things going on in our lives. So, if she asks you questions about the things that preoccupy you the most, then she’s definitely interested.

6) She uses superlatives to describe you

Aside from the usual questions, a nice girl will not hold back with her compliments when warranted.

But a girl who’s into you would put you on a pedestal and say things like:

• “I think you’re the sweetest.”
• “Aren’t you just the cutest?”
• “You’re the funniest!”
• “You’re the best!”

If you heard two or more superlatives from her, she might actually like you.

7) She pays attention to what you like

If you consider someone “one of your favorite persons,” you aim to please. Such is true across all gender identities.

And a girl who’s smitten with you would not just ask what you like, she will remember it, too! Even the smallest details cannot escape our hawk-like attention.

We’re also going to let you know about it!

“I remembered that’s how you like your coffee,” was one of the first few hints I gave my boyfriend to let him know that I was in it to win it.

8) She knows your favorite food

But before she goes over the list of things you like, this is the first question she wants to figure out about a potential partner.

I would even go so far as to say this is one of the top signs to look out for – trust me, women are very much aware of the saying, “the quickest way to a man’s heart is through his stomach!”

If you’re about to go on dates with this woman, she will want to know which restaurant you’ll be taking her to, or vice versa!

But the surest sign? She cooks your favorite food for you.

9) She always finds an excuse to talk to you

If we’re not debating which one’s better, pizza or burgers, trust that we’ll talk to you about everything else!

And sometimes, it could just be about random things we saw that reminded us of you.

For example, she texts you with:

“Hey, I was at the cinema earlier and saw the movie you wanted to watch…”

Watch out for emojis. If there’s a wink or a heart nestled in there, then you’d better reply with,

“Cool! Do you want to see it with me?”

10) She asks you about your long-term plans

Serious questions about the future aren’t usually asked at the start of a budding romance.

When it’s new, all we want is to enjoy each other’s company, whether watching movies, hanging out, or grabbing a bite!

But although such is the case, women still want a view of the compass every now and then.

In other words, even at the start, we would like to check if at least we’re heading in the same direction!

• “Do you see yourself settling any time soon?”
• “What are your views on marriage?”
• “Do you have any non-negotiables in a relationship?”
• “Do you want kids or not?”

Of course, we’re not going to keep you locked in a room and interrogate you with these prying questions! But these are the main things that would come up in a conversation when you least expect them, so best be prepared. And remember, we will appreciate your honesty more than telling us what you think you want us to hear.

Why? We’d like to know if we’re truly on the same page before we invest our time and effort in you.

And if, even after all these signs, you’re still not sure… 

Maybe it’s time to finally check out this free video on love and intimacy so you can have a solid guide! Good luck!