Is it weird to be single at 37?

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As you edge past your mid-thirties, you’ve probably watched many of your friends get married, buy a home, settle into domestic life, and have children. 

If you are still single, you might start to wonder, “I am normal?” or “Did I miss out on something?” 

Don’t worry, we’ve all been there. 

For those of us who stayed out of a marriage and long-term romantic relationships, it can feel strange to be single.

But, not only is it normal, I would argue that it’s rather brilliant. 

Getting married can be dangerous and unknowingly reckless if we mismatched with our partner or enter into a legal agreement with unrealistic expectations. 

Very quickly, even the most harmonious bliss can degrade into a hellish battle of division filled with greed and power.  

Being single at 37 is rather courageous and advantageous in many ways. 

I’ll take you through the top reasons why you can celebrate the fact that you are still single. 

1) You have many life experiences to share

It’s perfectly normal to question if we are a little strange for being single in our middle age. 

As you might start to wonder, “Is there something wrong with me?”, your dates might ponder the same idea. Especially when you are an intriguing, talented, and vibrant being. 

If you are like me, you may have chosen to stay single because you love the life you have. 

Many of us stay single for a multitude of positive reasons. 

We choose to travel, to pursue our careers, and enjoy living on our own and the novelty, independence, and ease of single life. 

Being single has many advantages. 

It encourages us to make friends and social connections in a way that we wouldn’t as a couple. 

For example, when you travel solo, it typically forces you to be more adventurous and active and explore new cultures, lifestyles, and even languages so that you can interact and communicate to get where you need to go. 

Because you are alone and will have moments when you are absolutely clueless, you have to ask others for information and help. 

And when you are alone, you are more incentivized to seek the companionship of others. 

Also, being in a couple can make you seem less approachable because you tend to create an impenetrable universe for yourselves and don’t have the same need or urgency to connect with others around you when you are in a new environment. 

So staying single helps us to gain new life experiences. When we travel solo, we learn how to navigate life well and adapt to unexpected situations quickly, and find the people, connections, and resources that we need to thrive. 

2) You have the freedom and mobility to explore

When you are single, and in your mid-thirties, you are not anchored down by anyone. You have all the freedom to explore what interests and captivates you. 

You can make plans, take on extra projects, manage your time, stay up as late as you like, wake up as early as you like, socialize with friends, hit the gym, and go for long rides at your whim and not feel guilty about having to include or spend time away from your significant other. 

You are free to go out whenever, wherever, with whomever you like. 

All of which brings a lot of freedom, fun, and excitement into life. 

You don’t have someone that you have to account for besides yourself. 

You are more likely to ask yourself, “What do I want to do?” rather than, “What does my partner want to do?”. Being selfish with your time and spare moments isn’t a negative matter. It means that when you choose to be around others to do something, you are doing it on your own accord.  

You can make the most of your life, indulge in some inspiring personal adventures, and pursue your dreams with ease and without having to explain yourself to someone else. 

By being single, you get to test your limits and grow in more ways. 

You learn how to be independent and seek out new opportunities. 

You learn how to navigate the world with confidence. 

You gain a sense of purpose and independence and can challenge yourself to grow in ways that are spontaneous and also well-intentioned. 

Having the freedom to be alone doesn’t mean that you have to feel lonely. 

When you want to be around people you can. And the best part about being single is that you have the space to be by yourself when you prefer. 

3) You can explore more sexually

When you are single and in your mid-thirties, you probably clearly know what you like in your sexual adventures and have the chance and means to explore aspects that you are curious about. 

By this age, we tend to have a good sense of what we like and enjoy and have the confidence to try out new scenarios with different partners. 

You can explore a diverse range of sexual experiences more easily than when you are in a long-term monogamous relationship. 

This freedom can make you more willing to be playful with sex and experiment with different expressions of it. 

You are more likely relationship because we are not concerned about the effects it may have on our significant other. You might get into in specific holding pattern with them and even lose some of the novelty and excitement that sex with a new partner brings. 

Being single means that you can enjoy a vast range of intrigues, and even go deep into levels of intimacy because you are more able to dare to try different encounters. You can avoid many of the issues in a coupledom that can mentally hold you back, and steer clear of feelings of stagnation or boredom that can arise when you are in a long-term committed relationship

4) Your circle of friends tends to be larger

When you are single, you tend to make friends with a diverse range of people and bond with them more closely than when you have a significant other. 

When you are independent and are less reliant on your partners for socialization, you tend to put yourself more out there and speak with people that you might not notice when you are in a couple. 

You meet different people and share experiences with them. 

You might be more willing to attend work events, and community outings, and to speak with that person you paired up with in a HIIT class. 

When you are in a couple, you can be pulled in two directions by each other’s needs and ideas, making your relationships feel more tenuous. 

You might also have an element of possessiveness and jealousy that holds you back from forming intimate relationships with other people. 

Being single can widen your social circle and it can help you dive into deeper discussions and interactions with the people around you. 

Have you ever felt like you struggle in these interactions? 

There’s usually a deeper reason why you don’t find fulfillment in relationships. 

Sometimes we fall into relationships because we look to someone else to make us happy. And we forget how to build this sense in ourselves. 

When you build your confidence on your own, you can learn to trust yourself more readily and access the incredible amount of personal power that you possess. 

We all have an outstanding amount of potential that is usually overlooked and buried away in our relationships and daily distractions. 

We’re all capable of achieving more than we can ever dream or imagine. 

I learned this from the insightful shaman, Rudá Iandê. 

He uses a unique approach that combines ancient techniques with a grounded, modern-day approach to help people restore balance, discover personal power, and infuse passion into their lives. 

In his excellent free video, Rudá takes you through how you can build the life and relationships you’ve always desired. And to feel more confident and empowered by feeling optimized and free in your mid-thirties. There is so much opportunity before you. 

5) Your finances weren’t ruined by a wedding or divorce

The average person will not only have married by their mid-thirties but probably have already gone through their first divorce

We don’t usually openly discuss the financial repercussions of our decisions, but very easily a marriage, living the suburban dream, and a divorce can be devasting to our bank accounts and drop us into an ocean of debt. 

By staying single, you probably have more financial resources available for your personal use than when you are in a couple. You can more easily manage your finances and have to make sure that you keep assets that allow you to be independently sufficient. Losing half of your finances in a divorce settlement is enough to make someone bitter about future relationships. 

And having to tell intimate details of your love life and relationship to a judge for a divorce can be downright humiliating. 

By staying single, oddly enough, you are more likely to keep a free and open spirit towards relationships and commitment, without having the burden of tying your finances into the hands of another person. 

Enjoy your vibrant life

There are enormous benefits to being single in your mid-thirties. 

Adopting an independent mindset and enjoying a solo lifestyle can help you to find more balance, meaning, and connection in your life. 

The way I see it is that you have two options. 

If you are generally wanting to change your status from single to committed in a long-term romantic relationship then you simply need to switch gears and refocus on dating and finding deeper connections with your partners who share a similar interest. 

Otherwise, if you are enjoying your single life but feel odd or out of place for that, then it’s a matter of focusing on the expectation behind that feeling. 

Do you honestly feel like there is something wrong with you for being single at this point? 

What fuels that story? 

When you look around at your friends in relationships, do you feel that they have a stronger sense of happiness or purpose in life? 

Most of the time when we feel like we should be doing something other than what we are doing, it comes from a place of lack. It can point out that something is missing from your life or your feel uncomfortable with elements in your life. 

So the real issue is how to deal with that feeling of inadequacy. 

This is why watching Rudá Iandê’s free video on developing personal power is a great place to start. The more you can tap into the strengths and sense of power that you hold within, the easier it is to account for the decisions you are making. It’s all a matter of mindset. 

So if you are conscious shift that will bring more love and inspiration into your life, try exploring this idea of what personal power means to you. Not only will you start to feel better about your decisions and status, but you will start to build up a charismatic aura of confidence that can actually pull people closer to you. Nothing is sexier than self-confidence and a sense of purpose. So the more vibrant you feel, the less the issue of being single, committed, married, divorced, or in whatever type of labeling that you can place on your interactions because life will feel much more meaningful far beyond these labels and words. 

What would it look like to have a completely free and open attitude towards dating and relationships? 

The answer to this can only be resolved within. 

Can a relationship coach help you too?

If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.

I know this from personal experience…

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