Today more than ever, people are coupling up and staying coupled. For those who opt to stay single, this can feel like an increasingly alienating experience.
When you’re single in your mid-30s, it can be hard to meet new people and make friends.
But is it weird to be single at 34? Let’s get to the bottom of this question:
1) Why does it feel weird to be single at 34?
Let’s start by looking at why you might feel weird to be single at 34:
The first reason it might feel weird to be single as you age is that you begin to feel like you’re missing out.
You might find that your married friends are talking about their new babies, or that your dating friends are now in serious relationships.
You might hear about weddings and engagements happening around you, but you might feel left out because you’re not in the same position.
You might feel like you’ve missed out on something, and you’re the only one who feels that way.
This is a form of social comparison, and it’s something we all do.
One way to get yourself out of this spiral is to be mindful of the fact that you don’t know what other people are going through.
You don’t know what’s going on in anyone else’s life, so there’s no point in comparing yourself to anyone else.
Once you’ve addressed this form of feeling weird about being single, you can move on to other reasons it might feel weird.
Trust me with one thing, the grass is always greener on the other side.
You feel weird for being single at 34 while your married and pregnant friend envies your independence and freedom.
Rather than feeling weird about it, try to see if there’s anything that you can learn from your married friends’ experiences.
Maybe they know things about relationships that will help you adjust your own expectations and most importantly, seeing that they envy you can help you feel less weird!
2) What is it like to be single in your mid-30s?
It depends on why you’re single.
If you like being single and you don’t want to be in a relationship, then it can be a very rewarding experience.
There are tons of advantages to staying single that you might not have considered before.
For instance, you can spend as much time as you want with whomever you want.
You can plan your social calendar around your work schedule or the season of your favorite sport.
When you’re in a relationship, there is always a compromise.
You might have to say no to a social invite because your partner has plans.
Or you might have to break your workout schedule because your partner is sick.
But when you’re single, you don’t have to make those sacrifices.
You can do whatever you want whenever you want.
You might feel like you have more time on your hands, too, because you don’t have to account for a significant other in your life.
You can spend your free time doing the things that you love, and you don’t have to worry about whether or not your partner likes them.
And the best part?
You can pursue your passions, travel, and try new things without having to consult someone else first.
And if you’ve been single for a long time, it can feel good to remind yourself that you’re capable of taking care of yourself.
People who aren’t in a relationship might feel more confident, too, because they know they’re capable of attracting a partner whenever they want one.
But being single in your mid-30s doesn’t have to be amazing.
If you’ve been single for a long time and you’re not sure why it can be really hard to feel satisfied with your life.
You might feel like you’re missing out on something, or you might feel like you’re somehow defective.
If you’ve been single for a long time, it can feel like everyone else has figured out how to do dating while you’re still struggling.
You might feel like you’re the only one who isn’t getting what they want, and that can make you feel really isolated.
Now: I know you might feel like you’re the only one who isn’t dating or in a relationship, but that’s not true.
Dating is hard for everyone, and most people have experienced a long dry spell at one point in their lives.
You’re not alone. Single people make up a whopping one-third of the population, so odds are you’ll find someone who understands what you’re going through.
3) What would a relationship coach say?
While this article will shed light on the fact that you might feel weird being single at 34, it can be helpful to speak to a relationship coach about your situation.
With a professional relationship coach, you can get advice tailored to your unique situation…
Relationship Hero is a popular site where highly trained relationship coaches help people work through complex relationship issues, like not finding a partner for a while.
Their popularity boils down to how skilled their coaches are.
Why am I so confident that they can help you?
Well, after recently experiencing a tough patch in my own life, I reached out to them for help.
From the moment I got in touch, I was given genuine, helpful advice, and was finally able to see my relationship issues with real clarity.
I was blown away by how kind and empathetic my coach was.
Within minutes, you could be receiving life-changing advice on how to navigate and repair the issues you’re facing in your relationship.
4) The benefits of being single in your 30’s
If you’re enjoying the experience of being single, there are some benefits to being single in your 30s.
You’ve had some time to figure out who you are and what you want.
You’re more confident with yourself and with your dating skills, and you know what you want from a relationship.
If you want to be in a relationship, you’ve had time to meet people who are in the same place as you are.
You’re not settling for someone who is only interested in a serious relationship.
And if you’re not interested in dating right now, you have the gift of time.
You have a chance to really focus on yourself and your career, and not be distracted by a significant other.
You can really explore your passions and interests and be the best version of yourself.
And as we’ve already discussed, you’re more likely to meet other people who are single and interested in dating when you’re out and about.
There are more people around to meet and date, so you’re not limiting your options.
The best part of it all?
You will not just settle for anyone who comes around. When you are single in your 30s, you know what you want and you have certain boundaries that will be hard to cross.
5) Why you might not want to be single in your 30’s
This is the perfect time to be single if you’re not into relationships.
You might want to take the time to focus on yourself and really explore your passions and interests without the pressure of a significant other in your life.
You might want to take some time to be single and enjoy the freedom that comes with it.
But if you’re being single because you haven’t met anyone new in a while, it might be good to open yourself up to new experiences.
You might want to try new things and meet new people to help you meet someone new.
Maybe you want to consider online dating to expand your dating pool and meet new people who you might not meet any other way.
You see, in your 30s you might not want to be single because the dating pool is getting smaller and people seem to be getting harder and harder to meet.
However, all in all, there is no rush.
The one for you is still out there, and you will find them sooner or later, believe me!
6) How to enjoy being single at 34
If you’re single and you want to stay that way, there are steps you can take to enjoy being single at 34.
The first step is to start working on yourself.
You’ve been on the dating scene for a while at this point, so you might want to work on your confidence and self-esteem.
You’ll want to be confident in your own skin and not let anyone make you feel bad about yourself if they reject you.
And you’ll want to develop a strong sense of self-worth that will help you stand up for yourself if someone rejects you.
You will also want to focus on your career so that you can feel good about what you do, how you do it, and who you are as a person.
If your career is going well, then you won’t have to settle for anyone just because of their money.
Your personality will also start shining through more in your interactions with others because it’s what makes up who you are as a person.
Lastly, just find the perks of being single!
Think about it, when else will you get to flirt and sleep with whoever you like? Most of your friends don’t have that luxury anymore, so try to enjoy it while you can!
Sooner rather than later you will be in a relationship and probably thinking about the wild times you’ve had in the past, so better go and make some memories now!
You’re not weird
The takeaway here is – you’re not weird! Being single at 34 is totally normal and nothing to be ashamed of.
It’s a time in your life when you should be enjoying yourself and living life to the fullest.
And there are tons of things that you can do to make the most out of being single at 34.
You can date, go out and have fun with friends, go on vacation, and meet new people.
There are lots of things that you can do to make this time in your life as positive as possible!
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.
I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.
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