10 reasons it’s bad to love someone too much

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Ah, love! That sweet rush of feeling that has us all googly-eyed, walking around in a haze, and professing our undying love for one another. Well, at least that’s how I used to think about it, until I learned that loving someone too much can actually be a bad thing. 

And trust me, as a woman who has fallen head over heels for the wrong guy, I know what I’m talking about.

So, let me take you on a journey of self-discovery, laughter, and life lessons, as I share with you the 10 reasons why loving someone too much is a bad idea. I’ll also show you how to strike the right balance. 

Let’s dive in!

1) Losing your sense of identity

I remember the time I loved a guy so much that I started adopting his habits, his interests, and even his dislikes. 

Suddenly, I found myself binge-watching obscure Norwegian detective shows and munching on vegan hotdogs. Who was I? Where did I go? The search for my true identity became a quest worthy of a Tolkien novel.

When you love someone too much, you tend to lose yourself in the process. You might start morphing into your partner at an alarming rate. Soon, you’ll find yourself dressing like them, talking like them, and possibly even adopting their snoring habits. 

While imitation might be the sincerest form of flattery, it’s essential to remember that you’re a fabulous individual – and you don’t need to become a carbon copy of your partner to be loved.

2) The never-ending quest for perfection

As the self-appointed queen of this sinking ship, I can assure you that trying to be the perfect partner will have you trying harder than a gym rat on January 1st. 

In my pursuit of perfection, I became the epitome of a Stepford Wife, always coiffed and dressed perfectly, always eager to please.  

Don’t make the same mistake I did! Embrace your flaws, because if your partner truly loves you, they’ll want to see the real you. 

3) The green-eyed monster

Ah, jealousy. That green-eyed monster that can turn a rational, mature woman into a paranoid, insecure mess. Loving someone too much can make you feel like you need to guard your partner like a hawk, lest someone else swoops in and steals them away. 

Listen, jealousy is never a good look. You’ll just be filled with awful, negative emotions like anxiety, insecurity, and fear. That’s no way to live!

4) Too much love can stifle growth

When you’re so enamored with someone that they become the center of your universe, personal growth can take a backseat. 

I once neglected my career, hobbies, and friendships, all in the name of love. 

The result? I ended up feeling stunted, like a plant that never got enough sunlight. Don’t be like me – remember to cultivate your own interests and passions, too.

5) The unhealthy need for approval

When you love someone too much, their opinion of you becomes disproportionately important. 

I remember spending hours agonizing over a simple text message, wondering if my choice of emoji would garner his approval. 

This need for constant validation is not only exhausting but also terribly unhealthy. Let me tell you – you don’t need anyone’s approval but your own!

6) Setting unrealistic expectations

Loving someone too much can lead to some pretty lofty expectations – for both you and your partner. 

I once expected my guy to read my mind, anticipate my needs, and be my knight in shining armor, all while maintaining a perfectly chiseled six-pack. 

Let’s just say that disappointment was an understatement. Save yourself the heartache and remember that your partner is human, just like you.

7) Putting your happiness in someone else’s hands

If you’re relying on your partner for your happiness, you’re setting yourself up for disaster. Trust me, I’ve been there. 

When he couldn’t live up to my unrealistic expectations, my world came crashing down. It’s important to remember that happiness is an inside job, and no one else is responsible for it but you. 

So, take control of your own joy, and don’t let anyone else hold the key.

8) The dreaded co-dependency

There’s nothing like loving someone too much to create a co-dependent relationship that would make any therapist cringe. 

I once found myself unable to make the simplest decisions without consulting my partner, from choosing a restaurant to picking out socks. It was not only annoying for both of us, but it also severely impacted my sense of self-worth. 

I totally became overly reliant on him, forgetting that I am a strong, capable person who can handle life’s challenges on her own.

So, remember to maintain your independence and make decisions on your own – even if it’s just deciding which Netflix show to binge next.

9) Forgetting about your friends and family

Remember those lovely humans you used to hang out with before you fell head-over-heels in love? They’re called friends, and they miss you! 

When you’re head over heels in love, it’s easy to let your other relationships slide. I’m guilty of canceling plans with friends, missing family gatherings, and generally becoming a hermit in the name of love. 

Don’t be like me – your friends and family are your support system, and they deserve your time and attention just as much as your partner does.

10) Losing sight of reality

Finally, when you love someone too much, you might find yourself ignoring red flags and rationalizing bad behavior. 

I once made excuses for a guy who was clearly not treating me right, all because I was blinded by my love for him. 

It took a wake-up call from my best friend to make me see the light. So, remember to keep your eyes wide open and recognize when it’s time to walk away.

How to keep that love in check

Now that we’ve delved into the pitfalls of loving someone too much, it’s time to look at the other side of the coin – how to keep your love life balanced, healthy, and fulfilling. 

Trust me, as someone who has navigated the choppy waters of romance, I’ve learned a thing or two about striking the right balance. So, let me share these tips on how to make sure you don’t love someone too much.

Cultivate your interests and passions

You know what they say, “Variety is the spice of life!” 

Keep your hobbies alive, whether it’s competitive dog grooming or extreme origami. Because let’s face it, no one wants to date a human echo chamber who’s lost their zest for life.

Plus, having something to talk about other than your partner’s latest haircut will do wonders for your conversations.

Maintain your friendships

Your friends were there before your partner came into your life, and they’ll be there after (if things don’t work out). 

So, cherish those friendships and make time for them. Regularly schedule girls’ nights, brunches, or whatever you enjoy doing with them. 

Your friends will not only keep you sane, but they’ll also provide a much-needed reality check when you’re at risk of loving someone too much.

Set boundaries and stick to them

Setting boundaries is like creating a personalized rulebook for your relationship – and who doesn’t love a bit of customization?

Communicate your needs and limits with your partner, and don’t be afraid to assert yourself. Remember, it’s okay to say “no” sometimes, and it’s important to ensure that your emotional well-being is taken care of. 

Plus, a little bit of mystery and space can actually make the heart grow fonder.

Prioritize self-care

As the age-old saying goes, “You can’t pour from an empty cup.” To avoid loving someone too much, make sure to take care of yourself – physically, emotionally, and mentally. 

Self-care is like the secret sauce that keeps your life flavorful and satisfying. Regular pampering sessions, indulging in your favorite treats, and getting enough rest are essential to keeping your love life balanced and healthy. 

Plus, when you’re feeling your best, you’ll be better equipped to handle any relationship hurdles that come your way – like deciding whose turn it is to do the dishes.

Embrace your independence

Remember, you were a strong, independent person before you met your partner, and you still are! So don’t be afraid to let your independence shine! 

No need to be clingy – you’re a strong, capable individual who can make decisions and handle challenges on your own. Nobody should take that away from you, not even the person you love!

By maintaining your independence, you’ll not only feel more confident but also avoid falling into the trap of loving someone too much.

Keep your expectations realistic

We’re all human, and it’s crucial to remember that your partner is, too. They’re bound to make mistakes, have off days, and maybe even forget your anniversary. 

Instead of expecting perfection, practice forgiveness, empathy, and understanding. This way, you’ll avoid the disappointment that comes with unrealistic expectations.

And when you stop expecting your partner to be a superhero, you’ll appreciate them even more for the lovable, imperfect human they are.

Love yourself first

As cliché as it may sound, loving yourself is the key to not loving someone too much. When you appreciate and value yourself, you’re less likely to seek validation from others. 

Strut your self-love like it’s the latest fashion trend, because, baby, you’re worth it! When you’re head over heels for yourself, it’s harder to topple into the trap of loving someone too much.

Trust your intuition

Your gut instincts are there for a reason – they are like your own personal Yoda, guiding you through the galaxy of love. 

So, listen to the Force within, and you’ll never go wrong. If something feels off or you sense that you’re slipping into the territory of loving someone too much, take a step back and reassess. 

You’ll be better equipped to navigate the complexities of your relationship, ensuring that you’re always headed in the right direction – even if it means taking a few detours along the way. 

Seek balance in your life

A balanced life is like a perfectly choreographed dance – each step is deliberate, graceful, and in harmony with the others. 

Make sure your life is balanced, with plenty of time for work, play, and everything in between. 

Distribute your time and energy across all aspects of your life, including work, hobbies, family, and friends.  This way, you’ll avoid becoming a love-obsessed shadow of your former fabulous self.

Communication is key

Finally, chat with your partner like you’re long-lost BFFs at a slumber party – open, honest, and maybe even in your pajamas. 

Open communication is like the secret handshake of a successful relationship – it’s a vital tool for building trust, understanding, and, of course, love. 

By talking openly and honestly with your partner about your thoughts, feelings, and concerns, you’ll be able to tackle any challenges that come your way.


And there you have it – the 10 reasons why loving someone too much is a bad idea and how you can avoid them. 

While it’s important to give your all to a relationship, it’s just as important to maintain your sense of self and prioritize your own well-being. Learn from my mistakes, laugh at my misadventures, and remember that a healthy love is one where both partners can grow and thrive together. 

Now go forth and love wisely, my friends!

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