Is he losing interest or just stressed? 15 ways to tell (the only guide you’ll need)

We sometimes include products we think are useful for our readers. If you buy through links on this page, we may earn a small commission. Read our affiliate disclosure.


Dating can be a challenging, emotional roller coaster and there are always questions.

The most common question is “is he losing interest?” or even “is he about to break up with me?”

Sadly the answer isn’t simple. If you are looking for a complete step-by-step guide on how to read his mind, this post is for you.

Here are 15 ways to tell if he is losing interest or just stressed.

No matter what, you’ll know where you stand.

So, let’s get down to business.

Signs that he is losing interest

1) You are doing all the work in the relationship

If you are doing too much, it is probably time to reconsider the relationship.  

Think about it.

If he isn’t making time for you and always finding an excuse for not meeting up, it is possible he is losing interest.

If he isn’t interested, why should he make an effort? Does that make sense?

This is a no-brainer. If he isn’t interested, he definitely won’t make an effort.

If he really likes you and wants to be with you, a little thing like making time is not going to get in his way.

2) He is no longer interested in your day-to-day life and events

This is actually my favorite way to tell someone is losing interest.

It is almost a universal rule that when someone is losing interest, he will be less interested in your everyday life.

Here’s the thing.

The person who used to be so intrigued by every detail of your day-to-day life will become less and less interested, to the point where he doesn’t want to hear about your mundane day-to-day problems.

It is certainly a bummer, but it makes sense. In the early phases of a relationship, what you have on your plate is new and fresh, and interesting.

But as time passes, you start to settle into a routine and the exciting, distracting newness of your life fades away.

3) He is not trying as hard

I have another rule about relationships: people make an effort for as long as they are interested.Let me explain.

If I am interested in someone, I will try hard to make them happy. But if I am losing interest in someone, I won’t try very hard because they are no longer worth my while.

Make sense?

If you want to know whether or not he is losing interest in you, look for a lack of effort.

He doesn’t seem to be interested in putting in the same effort that he used to.

There’s a new theory in the relationship world that’s causing quite a stir – it’s called the hero instinct.

Coined by relationship expert James Bauer, this fascinating concept finally explains how men really think and feel in relationships.

And it’s something most women have never even heard of.

According to James Bauer, men don’t actually need a lot to feel content in their relationships. In fact, what they need has nothing to do with sex.

Men have certain innate drivers. And when a woman comes along and triggers them, it causes a powerful response. The result is a man who loves harder, commits wholeheartedly, and truly dedicates himself to the relationship.

So, how can you trigger your man’s hero instinct?

The easiest thing to do is to watch this simple and genuine video by James Bauer.

The truth is, once you understand how the hero instinct works, there’s no telling what heights your relationship can reach.

So if you want to give your man what he truly wants from you, make sure to check out James Bauer’s excellent video. In it, he reveals the exact texts and phrases you can use straight away.

Here’s a link to the free video again.

4) He is not as attracted to you physically or romantically anymore

I’m sure this is obvious and probably has been true way before dating sites were invented, but it bears repeating. If he’s not attracted to you anymore, you are doomed.

Remember, attraction isn’t something that just happens. It’s not chemistry or magical coincidences or feeling the right vibes.

It takes work and it takes effort and even if you are in the early stages of dating, it takes a little bit of effort every day.

If he stops making that effort, take notice.

5) He excuses behavior that isn’t excusable

This is an easy one.

Even if you are only in the early stages of dating, you might be able to tell if he is losing interest by his inability to help more than he can help.

If you can’t get his help on something that would have been important to you, it is safe to assume he’s lost interest.

6) He is not as compatible with you anymore

I have written before that compatibility is the key to relationships and if you’re hopelessly incompatible, it doesn’t matter how in love you are, the relationship won’t work.

If he is not as compatible with you as he used to be and you are trying to figure out why he’s losing interest, consider this possibility.

7) His allure has faded

Our allure is like the new car smell. It’s intoxicating and exciting, but once you’ve been in the relationship for a while, it loses some of its charms.

If your guy used to be as exciting and charming as he could possibly be, but now he’s blasé about everything, it’s easy to guess that his interest in you is waning.

He is not as interested in making an effort for you anymore.

I mentioned this fascinating concept earlier: the hero instinct. When a man’s inner hero is triggered, he’s more likely to love you.

Just by knowing the right things to say to him, you’ll open a part of him that no woman has ever reached before.

And the best way to do so is by watching this free video by James Bauer. In it, he’ll reveal simple phrases and texts you can use to make your man truly yours.

Here’s a link to the excellent video again.

8) He is no longer interested in your looks

Women always eat themselves up to make themselves look good to men.

It is true, we do and it makes sense because many women are proud of their physical appearances and if a man is interested in you, he is going to notice.

But if he doesn’t notice your sexy looks anymore and you are no longer proud of yourself for looking good, then I think it is safe to assume that he doesn’t see you as attractive anymore.

9) He doesn’t seem to relate to your problems anymore

If you are in a relationship, it is always nice to feel like you can talk about your problems with your partner and he will be so inspired by your story that he will want to help.

But if he doesn’t relate to what you are experiencing or the way you are going about handling it, it’s probably because he’s lost interest in talking about anything other than himself.

10) He waits for you to initiate physical contact

This is another common relationship tip and it’s a rule that many girls should follow.

If he waits for you to initiate everything, he’s losing interest in you and this is a bummer because he should at least have the decency to call your phone and make plans without you having to beg him.

11) He is no longer interested in starting a family with you

This is one of the most important factors.

If he is not willing to commit to your relationship or even get married or want kids, you should seriously consider whether or not this is a long-term relationship.

What does it mean?

If he is losing interest in you and the relationship, it means he won’t be willing to stick around for very long.

12) He is angry and he is not sorry

This is an unfortunate warning sign that most people can relate to.

If you are wondering whether or not your man lost interest in you, but you don’t want to ask him, this is the most effective way of finding out.

You can judge his sincerity, by the way, that he feels about the situation. If he is just plain upset with you and doesn’t really seem all that interested in fixing things, then it might be time to rethink your relationship.

13) He doesn’t want to take trips with you anymore

If he used to want to spend time with you, but now he’s hesitant to go anywhere and he is not even offering an excuse to you about why then it is possible that he doesn’t want to be around you anymore.

This is another sign that someone is losing interest in you.

If you’re in a situation where this happens often, I think it’s important to call it as it is and figure out if your guy lost interest in you or if there’s something else going on.

14) He has a new buddy

If your boyfriend is working with someone new or going out with someone new all of the sudden, it might be that he is losing interest but doesn’t want to tell you directly.

This way, he can tell himself that it’s not his fault that things just didn’t work out between the two of you.

If he’s spending a lot of time with someone else, he might be trying to tell himself that he doesn’t need you.

15) He cancels dates or reschedules them

If you two were seeing each other a while ago and now he is busy with his own life, it might just be that he doesn’t have time for you anymore.

Maybe he’s got other priorities: work, friends, family or hobbies and you are not his prioritiy.

If he doesn’t want to see you anymore, it is a clear sign that he is losing interest in you.

Signs he is just stressed

Ladies, sometimes the reason you are finding it harder than ever to get a guy to commit is not that he is lost interest, but because he is just really stressed out.

Below are some signs he is just stressed.

1) Is he tired all the time?

If your man is always tired, then chances are he is stressed out. Or he might have a medical condition that causes fatigue.

He might be going through a personal crisis or may feel vulnerable and insecure, which makes him feel exhausted.

A person can get overwhelmed when facing uncertainty, and this anxiety can cause them to feel more tired than usual.

Or it could be psychological. Stress can really drain our energy and make us feel more tired than usual.

However, if you notice that he doesn’t get to sleep until after midnight and sleeps in on weekends, then you should be concerned.

If this pattern continues for a period of time, talk to him about it.

2) Is he tired on the weekends?

If your man is tired after a few days of work then there’s a good chance that he is having a rough week at work or is going through a personal crisis.

Check this out!

If you notice him being tired on the weekends as well, and he would rather stay alone but not with anyone, then he probably is just stressed.

3) Is he actually getting decent sleep?

One of the best ways to tell if a person is stressed out is by observing their sleep patterns.

If your man doesn’t get adequate sleep, he may seem tired and irritable throughout the day.

Also, if you notice a decrease in his quality of sleep, it could be a sign that something is stressing him out and possibly draining his energy.

And if so, it is nothing to deal with you.

4) Is he grumpy?

If he is being grumpy, then there is probably a good reason he is just stressed. Especially if your man is a pessimist.

The mental and physical effects of stress can affect one’s attitude, energy levels, and overall outlook on life.

5) Does he have a lot to lose?

If your man has worked hard for something, he will want to achieve his goals

This often requires a high level of dedication that may cause him to feel anxious about not reaching his goals. 

His anxiety may cause him to become irritable, moody, and exhausted.

And if his job is a source of his stress, he may not want to talk about it and pretend that everything is fine. And that is the reason why he seems distant to you.

6) Does he have a lot of pressure?

If your man has already reached the top of his field and has no more to learn, then there is less chance that he will feel stressed out.

On the other hand, if he is still learning new things, however, then it’s more likely that he is struggling to make ends meet as a result of a lack of experience.

7) Is he unhappy?

If your man is unhappy with his job, spending money, or even with the way you look, then there is a good chance that he’s stressed out but not losing interest in you.

What’s more, if your man has a difficult time expressing his feelings and feelings aren’t their own, it can cause tremendous stress.

Are they really your soulmate?

Is he losing interest or just stressed?

Whatever the reason, you might want to first figure out if is he the one.

But how can you know for sure you have met your soulmate?

The truth is:

We can waste a lot of time and emotions with people who ultimately we’re not compatible with. Finding your soulmate is no easy task.

But what if there was a way to get absolute confirmation?

I have just stumbled upon a way to do this…  a professional psychic artist who can draw a sketch of what your soulmate looks like.

Even though I wasn’t convinced at first, my friend convinced me to try it out a few weeks ago.

Now I know exactly what my soulmate looks like. The crazy thing is that I recognized them straight away.

If you are ready to find out what your soulmate looks like, get your own sketch drawn here.

What to do when he loses interest?

Here are few things you should start doing if he loses interest.

  • Let him know that you want and need him in the relationship.
  • Don’t make him feel like he’s done anything wrong, but try to make him feel like he is the one who is supposed to take care of you.
  • Try to change your routine to something he will enjoy.
  • Find activities you both enjoy doing together and try to do them more often, such as watching a movie or trying yoga together.
  • Support each other and encourage each other in what you are doing, whether it be exercising or sticking with the new job when things get tough out there in the real world!
  • If you are feeling insecure, talk to him about your feelings. Remember, it is normal for you to have feelings of insecurity when there have been big changes in your life. He may not know how to handle them for fear that you will reject him if he acknowledges them.
  • If you think he is just shy and it is really hard for him to show affection, don’t be afraid to set the pace and be the one who reaches out and holds his hand or kisses him first.
  • Try not to focus on his lack of interest, but rather on the good in your life together, and know that he loves you very much!
  • Don’t spend too much time on social media, let him know you’re not interested in other guys either by socializing with fewer men or spending less time on social media.
  • Try to create the feeling of exclusivity by giving him all your attention and not talking to other guys.
  • Try to be sweet and caring without making it seem like he’s the reason for your sweetness and care.
  • Let him know that you like him and love being with him and you’re not going anywhere.
  • Don’t ask why he is losing interest so soon; instead of asking, say things like “I am excited about the future”.

If none of the above things work and he continually loses interest, then you should take some time to really assess your relationship and how it is going for you.

If you feel that the relationship is lacking love and passion, you may want to begin working on your own self-esteem by reading some books, taking online workshops or reaching out to a therapist.

Final words

Dating is tricky.

There are a lot of things to consider and I know that it is annoying to have to second-guess yourself all the time, but if you keep these signs in mind and familiarize yourself with them, you will be able to notice when your man loses interest or is just stressed.

Wanna know more?

I touched on the hero instinct earlier – it’s the perfect remedy for the situation you’re facing.


Because once a man’s hero instinct is triggered, he’ll only have eyes for you. You’ll reach a part of him that no woman has ever managed to reach before.

And in return, he’ll be compelled to commit to you and love you like he’s never loved another woman.

So if you’re ready to take that plunge and reach new heights in your relationship, make sure to check out relationship expert James Bauer’s invaluable advice.

Click here to watch the excellent free video.

Can a relationship coach help you too?

If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.

I know this from personal experience…

A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.

If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.

In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.

I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.

Click here to get started.