We can never make a conscious choice about who exactly we’re going to be attracted to next. It just happens.
You may have just experienced this phenomenon too. They’re a friend of a friend, or someone you met at a formal get-together.
At first, you thought they were just someone in the crowd — until you catch yourself thinking about them on your way home.
You don’t understand why; there can be a variety of reasons for it.
But you know that you couldn’t forget them if you tried.
To help you understand, here are 14 possible reasons why you’ve got growing intense feelings for someone — even if they’re complete strangers.
1. They Remind You of Someone You Like
You can’t exactly place your finger on it, but there’s something about them that feels familiar to you.
It could be that the way they laugh sounds just like how your high school crush used to.
Or maybe their eyes give them a stark resemblance to your favorite actor.
It could also be something about their personality or mannerisms, like how serious they tend to get, or how often they say, “Ahhh” after sipping coffee.
These are familiar features to us that evoke memories and thoughts that we wouldn’t have otherwise.
If they remind you of someone, it might say more about what you think about the person they remind you of, not the stranger themselves.
2. They Have Mystique
Every sunset, you see them walking past your home on their daily walk.
At first you might not have really taken notice of them.
But as the days went on, you started noticing the pattern: they always walk in an interesting way, with their back straight and their arms bent like they’re ready to run.
They might have earphones on and they have bright colored shoes.
The more you see them, the more questions come up in your mind: what do they do all day? What are they listening to? Why are their shoes so bright?
Mysteries naturally keep us hooked.
This is why you can’t help but look out the window every 4:30 PM to see them on their daily walk, a constant enigma.
3. You Get Along Really Well
Your friend might have just introduced you to them. In no time, you both got along swimmingly.
It’s as if you don’t feel judged by them. You have an instant connection.
Your conversations flow so naturally that you forget that you literally just met this person just a few minutes ago.
Since you don’t know them, you aren’t sure if they’re always like this.
We may tend to believe that it’s because you have something special between the two of you, but we’ll never really know for sure unless we spend more time with them.
This may just get you interested in them enough to ask them out.
4. You Like the Idea of Them
Maybe they’re an athlete or a musician. There’s something about the dedication to their work that you admire so much.
You’re amazed at how focused they get when they’re in “the zone” or how great they look when they’re performing in public.
You’ve always wondered what it would be like to date an athlete or an artist.
And that just might be it.
You might not actually be interested in them as a person.
You’re interested in the idea of dating an athlete or artist; it might make for a nice story to tell others.
We all have fantasies of dating interesting people: this might be one of yours.
5. You’re Getting Tired of Being Single
You’ve been single for a few years now.
It’s been so long since your last relationship that you’ve almost forgotten what it feels like to hold someone’s hand or trust someone with your entire heart.
So then you find your mind and eyes wandering, staring at someone that looks seemingly like your ex, and imagining what it would be like to be in a relationship again.
You might suddenly have intense feelings about this random person because you’re just getting tired of being single.
Your life has been a monotonous string of days and you’re just looking for something to spice it up a bit – which could be this stranger.
6. They Might Be Your Soulmate
Another reason you might be experiencing intense emotions for someone you barely know is that they are your soulmate.
Soulmates ignite powerful feelings within us. It’s a once-in-a-lifetime connection.
Even if it is only your first encounter with your soulmate, you likely won’t be able to shake the feeling that you’ve known them before. It’s like you’re destined to be together.
But how can you know for sure you’ve met your soulmate??
The truth is:
We can waste a lot of time and emotions with people who ultimately we’re not compatible with. Finding your soulmate is no easy task.
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7. They Help You Keep Your Mind Off Things
When they walk into the room, you unintentionally stop what you’re doing. And this happens all the time.
There’s something about their face or their outfit that makes you curious about who they are.
If you’re busy working when this happens, it might just be because your mind has been crunching through problems all day, and they might just be an interesting character to distract you from your work.
8. You Have Shared Values
You’ve gotten the chance to get to know them more and you realize that they’re one of the only people that share your opinion on certain things.
You’d both rather watch documentaries than fairytale movies; you enjoy volunteering on the weekends; and you think that a certain rock band was better before they replaced their lead singer.
Since you don’t come across these types of people often, it’s natural that they stand out.
It’s the contrast that they bring from the people that you’ve known.
They’re like the black sheep in your friends list – of course they’re going to be significant in your mind.
9. You Have Similar Goals in Life
When you get to know them more, you learn that they also want to work for a specific sector in the UN. Or that you both have dreams of creating your own production company.
Having similar goals with people will definitely make them stand out to you.
If you get along well, possibilities of collaboration might even start flowing in your mind.
You could be business partners or teammates; you could pair up to create things that, up until now, you thought you had to do on your own.
10. They’re Really Nice to You
You might be at your local cafe ordering your usual drink.
When you get to the counter, the cashier greets you with your name – but you don’t even remember telling them that.
They remembered it. They also remember your exact order. This was unexpected for you, and you felt flattered.
Then when they hand you your order, it looks like their smile is more natural to you than with the other customers.
You might start thinking to yourself, “Do they like me? Or are they just being nice?”
In most cases, they might just be nice.
You might be so used to people not being so nice that when someone does something kind to you, you immediately think they’re flirting – which isn’t always true.
11. You Have a Spiritual Connection
If you’re close with your own spirituality, this is a possible reason why you have such intense feelings for them.
Your spirits might have recognized each other without you having to introduce yourself to them.
Maybe in a previous life, your souls shared an intimate relationship.
As mentioned before, it’s also possible that they are your twin flame.
A twin flame is said to be someone with the exact same soul as you; you’re essentially two people sharing one soul.
These relationships tend to be intense emotionally and mentally.
If you complete each other’s sentences, share the same childhood traumas, have the exact same insecurities and opinions, it’s very possible that they are your twin flame.
12. They Inspire You
Maybe you saw their work ethic, how careful they were with everything they wrote, how thoughtful they were to the elderly, or how driven they were to see a project through.
These are the attributes that you aspire to have but couldn’t bring yourself to build.
Then when you confront a situation, you might start asking yourself, “What would they do in a situation like this?”
Inspiration can be a powerful and attractive force.
You might be thinking about them because they motivate you to do better – which could be a healthy attraction.
13. It’s an Anxious Attachment
There are 4 types of attachment styles: secure, avoidant, disorganized, or anxious.
Signs of an anxious attachment might be feeling sad when that person isn’t there; having difficulty trusting others and building connections; and being really sensitive to what they say to you.
This type of attachment style is usually cultivated in your early childhood.
If you notice your mood and emotions fluctuate uncontrollably when they’re there, it might be best to reflect on your past experiences with people.
It could also help you to seek a professional to help you understand how to navigate through your complex emotions.
14. Getting Their Attention
If you’re really interested in this person and want to get to know them more, then it wouldn’t hurt to take the initiative to talk to them.
Introduce yourself and try to get to know them more.
If you really want to spend more time talking to them, you could ask them for lunch together.
You never know, you might just make a new best friend or even romantic partner.
If you want to make them your romantic partner, then you need to try this
There’s a new theory in the relationship world that’s causing quite a stir – it’s called the hero instinct.
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And it’s something most women have never even heard of.
According to James Bauer, men don’t actually need a lot to feel content in their relationships. In fact, what they need has nothing to do with sex.
Men have certain innate drivers. And when a woman comes along and triggers them, it causes a powerful response. The result is a man who loves harder, commits wholeheartedly, and truly dedicates himself to the relationship.
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Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
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