By 
Have you ever watched someone speak with so much confidence that it feels effortless? The way they capture attention, express their thoughts clearly, and leave a lasting impression?
It’s inspiring—and you can do it too! But here’s the thing: becoming a confident speaker isn’t just about what you say or how you say it.
Often, it’s about what you stop doing. There are certain habits that quietly chip away at your confidence and hold you back from being your best. If you’re ready to speak with boldness and clarity, it’s time to leave these 10 habits behind.
Let’s get started.
1) Filling the silence
The public speaking stage can often feel like an intimidating space. And that fear can drive us to fill every silence, every pause, with words – any words.
But confident speakers know the power of a well-placed pause. They understand that silence isn’t a void to be filled, but a tool to emphasize points and create anticipation.
Silence gives your audience time to digest your words. It emphasizes the importance of what you’ve just said and builds anticipation for what’s coming next.
If you want to become a confident speaker, it’s time to say goodbye to the habit of filling every silence with words. Embrace the power of pause and let your words breathe.
Confident speaking isn’t about saying everything; it’s about making everything you say count. And sometimes, that means not saying anything at all.
2) Apologizing unnecessarily
This is a habit I struggled with for a long time. I used to apologize for the smallest things during my speeches – if I paused for too long, if I thought a joke fell flat, even if I thought I was speaking too fast.
But then I realized, each time I apologized, I was undermining my own authority as a speaker. I was signaling to my audience that even I didn’t fully believe in what I was saying.
Apologizing when it’s necessary is respectful and shows humility. But unnecessary apologies can make you come across as unsure and unconfident.
If you’re like how I used to be, constantly saying “sorry” during your speeches, it’s time to kick that habit. Believe in your words, stand by them, and let go of the need to apologize for every little thing. Your confidence – and your audience – will thank you for it.
3) Using weak language
The words you choose can make or break your speech. Consider this: a study conducted by Quantified Communications found that speakers who used strong, assertive language were perceived as 1.5 times more confident than those who used weak, tentative language.
Think about phrases like “I think,” “I guess,” “I might,” or “maybe.” These words suggest uncertainty and doubt, not exactly the qualities you want to project as a confident speaker.
Make the conscious effort to choose strong, assertive language in your speeches. Swap out “I guess” with “I believe,” or “maybe” with “definitely.” Small changes like these can transform your speeches from uncertain propositions to powerful statements. Say goodbye to weak language, and say hello to a more confident you.
4) Speeding through your speech
When we’re nervous, our heart rate increases and so does our speech rate. It’s a natural response to stress, but it can make your audience feel rushed and result in your message getting lost.
Confident speakers understand the importance of pacing. They speak slowly and clearly, making sure their audience has time to absorb each point before moving on to the next.
Don’t let your nerves control your speed. Practice taking deep breaths and speaking at a comfortable, relaxed pace. Not only will this make you appear more confident, but it will also improve the clarity of your message.
Speaking is not a race. Take your time, and let your words sink in.
5) Neglecting body language
Did you know that a significant part of our communication is non-verbal? Your body language speaks volumes about your confidence level, sometimes even more than your words.
Confident speakers use their body language to their advantage. They maintain eye contact, use hand gestures for emphasis, and stand tall with their shoulders back.
On the other hand, closed-off body language like crossed arms or hunched shoulders can signal nervousness and lack of confidence.
Pay attention to what your body is saying. Practice open, confident postures and movements. It might feel a bit awkward at first, but with time, it will become second nature. Saying goodbye to poor body language is a key step towards becoming a confident speaker.
6) Comparing yourself to others
In a world filled with TED Talks and charismatic orators, it’s easy to fall into the trap of comparison. You may watch them and think, “I can never be as good as that.”
But here’s the thing – confidence doesn’t come from being like someone else; it comes from being the best version of yourself.
Each speaker has their own unique style and strengths. What works for one person might not work for you, and that’s completely okay. Your goal isn’t to become a clone of another speaker, but to find your own voice and let it shine.
Stop comparing yourself to others. Instead, focus on improving your own skills at your own pace. This is your journey to becoming a confident speaker, and it’s meant to be unique just like you.
7) Avoiding difficult topics
I used to steer clear of difficult topics during my speeches. I thought sticking to safe, universally accepted points would make me a better speaker. But I was wrong.
Instead of making me more relatable, it made me blend into the background. My speeches were forgettable because they lacked depth and authenticity.
Only when I started tackling challenging and sensitive topics did I truly connect with my audience. Yes, it was uncomfortable at first, but it was also liberating. It allowed me to speak from the heart and make a real impact.
Don’t shy away from difficult topics in your speeches. Address them head-on with sensitivity and respect. It will make you a more authentic and therefore more confident speaker.
8) Trying to be perfect
You might think that the best speakers are the ones who deliver flawless speeches, but that’s not always the case.
In fact, striving for perfection can hold you back. It can make you overly self-conscious and less spontaneous, taking away from the authenticity of your speech.
Confident speakers understand that it’s okay to make mistakes. A slip-up or a forgotten line doesn’t define your entire speech, but how you recover from it does.
Let go of the pressure to be perfect. Embrace your imperfections and turn them into strengths. After all, it’s our quirks and individuality that make us relatable and human.
9) Ignoring your audience
Public speaking is not a monologue, it’s a dialogue. Even though you’re the one on stage, your audience plays a vital role in your speech.
Confident speakers understand this dynamic. They engage their audience, invite them in, and make them feel like part of the conversation.
So, don’t ignore your audience. Look for ways to interact with them – ask questions, invite feedback, or simply acknowledge their presence with eye contact.
Your audience is not just a passive listener but an active participant in your speech. Recognize that, and you’ll be one step closer to being a confident speaker.
10) Not believing in yourself
At the heart of confident speaking lies self-belief. If you don’t believe in your ability to deliver a great speech, why should your audience?
Confident speakers have faith in themselves. They know they have something valuable to share and they trust in their ability to share it effectively.
Start believing in yourself. Trust your voice, your ideas, and your ability to express them. It’s the most crucial step towards becoming a confident speaker. It’s not just about the words you speak, it’s about the belief behind those words. And that belief starts with you.
The heart of the matter: Confidence comes from within
In the realm of public speaking, confidence is more than just a desirable trait – it’s a game-changer.
And while we’ve discussed habits to let go of, it’s important to remember that true confidence isn’t about perfect speeches or flawless delivery. It’s about embracing your unique voice and having the courage to share it with the world.
The late author and speaker, Wayne Dyer, once said, “You cannot be lonely if you like the person you are alone with.” This sentiment holds true for public speaking as well. If you genuinely appreciate and believe in your own thoughts and ideas, it becomes easier to share them confidently with others.
So as you step forward on your journey to becoming a confident speaker, remember this: Confidence isn’t something you acquire from external sources. It’s something you cultivate from within.
Say goodbye to these 10 habits, but more importantly, say hello to believing in yourself. Let your authenticity shine through your words and let your passion resonate with your audience. In doing so, you’ll not only become a more confident speaker – you’ll become a more confident you.
