Sensitive and creative individuals have a tendency to doubt themselves.
As one myself, I can promise you that it’s not always an easy ride: this is particularly true in the romance department.
That’s why it’s so important to understand what someone who really wants you will act like.
There are so many fakes out there and one-night Romeos.
Here’s what a real man will do when he truly wants you in his life and isn’t just after a fling.
If a man wants you in his life, he’ll do these 20 things
1) He’ll go out of his way to make you laugh and brighten your day
If a man wants you in his life, he’ll try to make your life and ensure you have a brighter day than you otherwise would have.
Even if he’s not a natural comedian, he’ll do his level best to send you a funny text or at least get a smile out of you when he sees you.
He’ll have a sixth sense about how to touch your heart and warm you up even on the coldest day.
A man who really wants you in his life isn’t trying to impress you or win you over: he truly cares about you and really wants to make your life better.
The fact that he really cares about you beyond his self-interest will shine through in his actions, jokes and behavior.
“When a guy loves you, he’ll want to make you laugh. And if you’re being honest with yourself, this is one of the most important things for you to have in a guy.
“The reason women find a good sense of humor so important is that it demonstrates both intelligence and flexibility in a man.
“That kind of perception in a guy is priceless to a woman’s happiness,” explains Carlos Cavallo.
2) He makes an effort to hang out with you
If a man wants you in his life, he’ll actually put aside the time and energy to be with you.
No matter how busy he is, he’ll find those blocks of time and attention when he can really focus on you.
You’ll be able to clearly see that you have his full attention when you speak and spend time together.
When a man just wants a fling or sex he’ll usually use you as a backup option.
But when he wants you in his life in a real and lasting way, he’ll make an effort to hang out with you and be with you.
This won’t always be dramatic, but it will always be noticeable.
3) He finds reasons to talk to you even if it seems random
It can be difficult to think of what to talk to all the time, even with someone you care about.
But if a man wants you in his life, he’ll make the effort to talk to you even if it seems random.
He’ll want to maintain the connection
“If he randomly messages you on social media or texts you with something that seems completely random, you can be pretty confident that he’s got a crush on you.
“It’s pretty cute, actually, right?”
4) He’ll remember what you tell him – even the small details
Men aren’t always the best listeners, but when they want to pay attention to what you’re saying and remember they will do exactly that.
If a man wants you in his life, he’ll remember everything you tell him, even the smaller details and unusual things you say.
This might seem obvious, but it’s important to emphasize:
When somebody cares about you, they care about what you say.
It really is that simple.
5) He’s caring and generous in bed and it clearly means something to him
Every woman has experienced a man who’s selfish in bed and rolls over like a log as soon as he’s finished.
A man who really wants you in his life won’t be this way.
He’ll pay attention to your pleasure and enjoy conversation and cuddling as well as making love.
When he’s just in it for a quick bang then you can bet he’s not serious about you; but when it means more to him than that then you can be sure he’s interested in more.
“If the man you are dating has no emotional bond with you in bed, this is a clear sign he is there for sex. He does not take his time with you after sex, and all you might get is a kiss on the forehead.
“He might leave without saying goodbye or even a kiss on the forehead.”
6) He doesn’t judge and shame you for your flaws
None of us are perfect, and a man who really wants you in his life will accept that and nurture you.
He will love you for who you are.
And if you aren’t yet in a relationship, you will be soon.
While he may encourage you to improve aspects of yourself and be honest about the parts of your lifestyle he doesn’t like, he will never shame or belittle you for your challenges.
This is one of the most important ways to tell if a man wants you in his life.
Because when he does want you in his life you’ll have no doubt that he values you and won’t reject or disrespect you for your flaws.
7) He puts you first and makes it clear you matter to him
There are a lot of decisions in life about what to make your priority.
If a man wants you in his life he will make you his priority.
I’m not saying he’ll quit his job or leave during an emergency to come be with you:
But on an ongoing and consistent basis, he will demonstrate that you matter more to him than “just another girl.”
He will make it crystal clear through his actions – not just his words – that you matter a lot to him and that he’s willing to go out of his way to help you and be there for you.
“He doesn’t make you feel that you come second or last, he makes you feel like you come first because you do.
“He consults you about the decisions he makes and he takes your goals in life into consideration,” writes Farah Ayaad.
8) He’ll open up to you about his dark side and the worst parts of his past
A man who wants to get in your pants for a few nights or have a one-sided relationship will only present his good side.
You’ll think he’s practically an angel by the time you’ve gotten to know him for a week or two.
It seems too good to be true! (because it is).
If a man wants you in his life he won’t shy away from showing you his dark side.
Now I’m not saying he’s going to open up about how he used to torture kittens as a kid on your second date (and let’s hope he never did).
But gradually and surely, he’ll admit to you that he’s not a perfect guy.
He’ll be honest about where he disagrees with you.
Because the truth is that you can’t really be in a relationship without being honest and opening up.
9) He’s really there for you when the chips are down
There’s a thing that happens with a good guy which can be really deceptive.
What happens is that he’s always there for you and is such a wonderful man.
You start falling in love and thinking of him as your rock.
Then you have a crisis and suddenly he’s nowhere to be found!
The issue is that if a man wants you in his life he won’t only be your fairweather friend. He’ll be there for you when the shit really hits the fan too.
And he’ll be your biggest fan and supporter through all of life’s ups and downs.
“He reminds you of your worth, your talent and your abilities when you tend to forget.
“He stands-up for you when someone is trying to put you down. He takes care of you when you’re tired and he appreciates how hard you work.”
10) He likes your posts and comments on social media
If a man wants you in his life he will also want to be in your online social life.
He’ll like your posts, comment on what you say and interact with you on a regular basis.
This isn’t to say he’ll be a simp who worships at your feet and sprinkles fire emoticons under everything you post.
But it will be obvious to you that he’s paying attention to your social media presence and cares about it.
11) Your views and beliefs matter a lot to him and he wants to know more
If a man wants you in his life he will be extremely interested in what you believe and why.
It’s not that he’ll necessarily agree.
But he’ll certainly want to know, and if he’s a confident man who is worth your time then he will also be honest about where he differs from you.
A weak man who doesn’t value himself will pretend to agree with everything you say to get your approval.
A man who’s worth your time and really wants something serious with you will tell the truth about who he is and want to know who you really are, because he wants something real, not just something on the surface.
12) He’ll want to commit and be open to the idea even if the timing is tricky
Not everything man is looking for commitment, I get that.
But if a man wants you in his life he’ll at the very least be open to talking about the subject of commitment with you.
He may have his own issues with it, but the subject won’t make him run.
When he really loves you he’s not automatically petrified by the idea of getting more serious with or settling down.
“If you want a man to commit to a label, it’s not that hard to do if he’s already in love with you.
“Actually, he’ll probably start clamoring to call you his girlfriend and incorporate you in his future plans.
“Some will also agree to marry or get engaged fairly quickly, too,” observes Ossiana Tepfenhart.
13) He introduces you to close friends and family
This is an extremely important part of how to tell if a man wants you in his life.
When he does want something more serious he will introduce you to close friends and family.
He will do this because you’re special to him and he wants you to know those who are also close to him and care about him.
14) He goes out of his way to make sure you’re OK and care for you
A man who wants you to be part of his life will go out of his way to make sure you’re OK and care for you.
If you’re out and you feel sick he will take you home and cancel the rest of the plans for the evening.
If you tell him a concern you have he will truly listen and consider what you’re saying.
15) He sees you as his ‘one and only’ and doesn’t want anyone else
If a man wants you in his life he will want you to know that you’re enough for him.
This isn’t about him convincing you he’s a good guy or winning you over.
It’s about how he really feels.
Because when he really feels you’re the one he’ll be clear that he’s not interested in anyone else.
“On the other hand, if a man sees you as ‘the one’, then everything works in your favor and he ends up chasing you.
“Instead of seeing you as a woman who is trying to ‘lock him down’ and trap him, he sees you as his other half.”
16) He’ll let you know he’s thinking of you during the day
When a man truly likes you he’ll let you know about it.
Even if he doesn’t directly say it, he’ll send you messages and let you know he’s thinking of you sometimes.
This is a nice gesture and will make you feel the kind of appreciation and attention you deserve.
This is something Bastion also writes about here.
17) He’ll broaden his skills for you, including in the kitchen
If a man wants you in his life he will take steps to be more than he currently is.
He will be inspired by you and by his desire to be with you.
This includes him trying out new hobbies and skills that he can get into.
For example, he may start taking up yoga or decide that he wants to gain some chef skills.
“Even men who aren’t that good in the kitchen will make an effort to cook for the woman they love,” writes Patrick Western.
18) He puts you first even in situations where it takes extra energy
Like I said, a man who wants to get serious with you won’t put you on a back burner.
He’ll put you first even when it’s not easy.
He’ll go out of his way to defend you and make sure that you’re protected and happy whenever he’s around you.
And if you’re dealing with a guy who’s pulled away in the past, you can be sure that chasing him isn’t going to bring him back.
“The worst thing you can do is to try to convince a guy to come back to you after he made the decision to pull away. His brain is in the pull away mindset so if you try to tell him no, it’s going to create tension and that’s the last thing you want.
“You need to let him go to get him back and act as if you don’t give a shit. You will have a lot more success that way.”
19) He’ll pull out all the stops to win your attraction and respect
If a man wants you in his life, he’ll do his best to prove to you that he’s worth it.
Women these days have a wide choice when it comes to mates.
So he’ll be very aware that if he wants you to truly take an interest in him he’s going to have to clearly demonstrate value.
I’m not talking about money or social status.
I’m talking about who he is deep down and the actions that he takes in life.
20) He’ll want to help you and protect you
When a man really cares about you and wants you to be part of his future, he’ll want to help and protect you.
Women are increasingly independent, and that may not strike you as what you’re looking for.
But the truth is that triggering his hero instinct is the most surefire way to get him to want to commit and make you his woman.
“Men like to be needed.
“They want to feel helpful.
“If they are offering to help you with something, they are over the top into you.”
Building a life together…
There’s a reason why you don’t find fulfillment in relationships – you’re reliant on your partner for happiness and not yourself.
But when you learn to trust yourself and tap into the incredible pool of power within you, you’ll find what you’ve been searching for all along.
You see, we all have an amazing amount of potential. We’re all capable of achieving more than we realize. Happiness is in reach, we just look for it in all the wrong places.
And this has a knock-on effect on everything else in our lives, including our relationships.
I learned this from the shaman Rudá Iandê. He’s helped thousands of people restore balance to their lives, discover their personal power, and live life with passion at the heart of everything they do.
He uses a unique approach that combines ancient shamanic techniques with an effective modern-day twist.
In his excellent free video, Rudá explains how you can build the life and relationships you’ve always wanted, simply by following a few of his techniques.
So if you’re ready to take the plunge and live the life you know you deserve, check out his genuine advice below.
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.
I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.
The above link will give you $50 off your first session - an exclusive offer for Love Connection readers.