I wasn’t ready for a relationship and I lost her: 13 tips to win her back

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When you fall in love with someone, you imagine a long and happy future together. Unfortunately, things don’t always work out the way we plan them. 

Maybe you weren’t ready for a relationship or something came up suddenly that made it difficult to see each other. Whatever the case may be, if you recently lost your girlfriend, then this article is for you. 

In this article, we’ll give you some tips and advice on how to win her back – now go ahead and read on!

1) Show you’ve changed

I know you’re feeling bad right now and you have every right to. But try not to wallow in self-pity. 

The fact is, you weren’t ready for a relationship at that time. However, now you are ready to try and repair things. 

The first step to winning her back is to be different from when you lost her. It’s very important that you act differently now and show her how much you’ve changed. And the best way to do this is with actions, not words. 

For example, if you used to keep her waiting for a long time for your calls, now you make them on time. If you used to ask her out every day and she never accepted, then now you try and ask her out daily.

Just be different from the way you used to act and show her that you’ve changed. 

2) Use social media to show you care

The second tip is to use social media to show you still care about her. 

If you still have your girlfriend’s contact details, then the best way to keep in contact is through social media. Try and find her on Facebook or another website and send her a message saying how much you miss her or something else that will let her know that you care. 

Moreover, on these websites, you can follow her activities such as what she’s up to and what she likes doing.

It gets better if you can post something on her wall or do some other social media gesture to let her know that you still care and that you would like to stay in the relationship. 

But remember:

Don’t overdo it because she might find it annoying and will only get her to want you out of her life for good.

3) Get tailor-made advice for your situation

I know what you’re going through with losing your girlfriend and it’s not easy, because last year my relationship was seemingly reaching a dead end too.

I’m talking do-not-resuscitate. Over and out. 

I was ready to walk away, but before I did that I took a step I’d never taken before. I reached out to a professional relationship coach. 

I had low expectations, but even my highest hopes were exceeded. The coach I spoke to at Relationship Hero quickly broke down the walls I’d built up in my relationship and helped me understand the root cause and do something about it. 

This coach was tough but fair and genuinely helpful.

My coach took apart every single lie I was telling myself and helped me understand how to truly resolve the issues that we’d been fighting about. 

My relationship isn’t perfect now, but it’s so much better than what it was. Most importantly, I’m hugely optimistic about the future again. 

Click here to check out Relationship Hero and see if they can help you too.

4) Help her feel safe again so that she can re-evaluate her feelings

Think about this for a moment:

If you were her, would you still like to date or be back with someone who keeps disappearing or puts you on hold till he’s ready? 

When she gives you a call if you let her wait, would that make her feel safe about wanting to be with you again? 

No and no. Obviously not. 

If she’s really into you and wants to get back together, then this is one of the reasons why she’ll need some time to take a step back from the relationship.

In the meantime, you have to show her that you’re still there for her and that you’re going to help her feel safe again. 

If she’s worried about losing you altogether, she’ll need support to get over it and feel comfortable in your presence again. 

I know it’s not easy to do this, but here are some steps to help her feel safe again so that she can re-evaluate her feelings:

– Help her focus on herself: You have to help her focus on herself and let her know that the relationship is just between you two. Just having a casual chat with each other will make her feel more comfortable about you being there for her again.

– Let her see that you’re reliable: If she’s kept waiting for your call or has asked you out and you didn’t show up, then do the opposite to let her know that the relationship is getting stronger again.

– Show her that she’s your first priority: You should be there for her every time she needs you.

– And most importantly, don’t break her trust: If she feels like she’s your girlfriend or you’re treating her badly, then it’s probably because she’s letting you off the leash.

– Build up your time together again: Once she feels like things are back on track, the two of you should start building more time together.

5) Make her feel special


Another way to win her back is to make her think how special you think she is and to make her feel that she’s the one for you. 

The key here is to get her to feel that you still love her and that you need her. 

All you have to do is to show her how much she means and that she’s still important in your life. You can do this by bringing up the relationship and making her feel good about it by complimenting her on something she’s done or by showing how much you care. 

This could be as simple as asking her if there’s anything specific she would like to see happen between the two of you again in your relationship. Even a small conversation like that can move things in the right direction and help her see that you still care.

But again, don’t overdo it because she might feel like it’s too much and will get her to want you out of her life for good.

6) Learn to communicate better

There are many reasons that make you feel you weren’t ready to have a relationship with her. 

Maybe it was about how you were feeling about the relationship itself and how you weren’t sure if it was going to work. 

Or maybe it was that you were afraid of her thinking that she has to change for you if things don’t work out. 

Whatever the reason, it doesn’t matter anymore because now you’re willing to win her back. This is the time to start learning to communicate better and see if you can get past the problems that you had been having for weeks or months now. 

So how to communicate better? 

Don’t be afraid to ask her about the problems you were having in a way that will show her you’re serious about fixing them. Also, ask her how she felt about what you were doing before, and whether she’d find it okay or be willing to try it again. 

The key here is to stay positive and not get caught up in your own sorrow or anger. It’s understandable that no matter how hard you try, some things might be hard to forget and forgive, but don’t let that stop you from communicating your feelings. 

Communicate them anyway, and then see if she can relate to the issues you’re going through.

7) Focus on the good times ahead

Now that you’re willing to improve your relationship, I’m sure you’d want it to work again. 

What might work for you is a positive mindset and some positive thinking. 

You can start by creating a brand new vision for your relationship. 

Imagine a time when you’re going to be alone with her and you’re going to do fun things together. Take her mind off the problems that you went through and bring up the good times that you can have together in the future. 

Then, just like that, new thoughts will pop up in her mind about being with you again.

For example, bring her to a new restaurant instead of the place where you two used to hang out. Or take her to a new movie or go for a walk in the park. 

You can do that because the best solutions to problems are the ones you don’t see coming. The amazing thing is that she’ll be trying to figure out why you’re doing this, which will make her feel like there’s more to the relationship than what she thought it was.

8) Remind her of your qualities that she loved in the first place, with a little more depth this time around

The truth is:

If you’re going to win her back, it’ll be necessary for her to feel that she’s getting even more of the qualities that she loved about you in the first place.

You can do this by really paying attention to what she used to say about you and being sure that you’re delivering on what those things are. This time around, make it more meaningful and do more than just show them to her.

Try to dig deeper and show her that you really care about her and want to make the relationship work.

If she’s always telling you how good of a guy you are, then don’t stop there. Show her that you’re more than just a good person, but also someone she can see herself spending the rest of her life with. 

You can do this by showing your compassionate side or by letting her feel like she can count on you when things get rough.

Want to know the best part?

Your girlfriend might still love you if you’re willing to change, but the most important thing is to prove it to her. You don’t have to do everything in one day or even one week, but there’s no time limit for your efforts. 

Just know that you have everything it takes to win her back and that you’re never alone in this.

9) Ask yourself what was missing from your relationship and make note of what she wanted from you 

It’s time to turn your attention to yourself and see what you’re missing from your relationship. 

You’ll have plenty of time for that because you’re not going to be feeling guilty about it anymore. It’s time for you to look at the things that have been bothering her and figure out what the problem was between the two of you.

The key here is to make note of the issues, but don’t worry about figuring out why they happened or how they worked their way in there. You’re just going to be glad that you’ve noticed them now, so you can deal with them in the future. 

You can do this by keeping a journal. That way you’re capturing everything that you notice as soon as it happens and giving it an amount of space so that it won’t lose its meaning over time.

10) Catch up on the things she enjoyed doing

I bet the way you turned down your relationship with her made her feel like there was no way she could get you to change your mind. 

The same thing is going to happen if you wait too long, so don’t try to put it off. 

Instead of just ignoring the fact that you weren’t ready for a relationship, it’s time for you to give yourself a chance to start over and work on a relationship with your girlfriend. 

To do this, you’ll have to focus on the things that she enjoyed doing and see if there’s anything you can do to be able to spend more time with her. 

For example, if all of your time together was spent on homework or video games; then it might be a good idea for you to ask her what she would like to do instead next time. 

All of these are small changes that will give you an opportunity to build trust and intimacy in your relationship.

11) Accept responsibility

If you’re going to be able to get her back, the most important thing is for you to accept your part in the troubles between the two of you. 

It means accepting that you had a problem in your relationship, which is the most important step because that means you’re willing to take responsibility for what happened. 

Accepting your part will greatly help you to make things better and feel a sense of control over your situation. 

You can do this by being honest with yourself about how things were–and are–going and admitting that you were wrong about certain issues. 

This will make you appear humble in the eyes of your girlfriend, which is going to help bring her back into your life.

Also, you can tell her the reasons why you weren’t ready for a relationship and tell her how you’ve started changing your mind.

12) Talk to her friends and family 

This is a big one.

If you’re not ready to tell your girlfriend that you want her back, then it might be a good idea to ask the people who know her best what they think of the situation.

Ask them if they think she’d be able to forgive you if you gave it another try and keep a record of their advice for later.

It can help you decide how to approach your girlfriend about getting back together and how to convince her that you’ve changed in the right ways.

Not only that, but it will give you a chance to let her friends and family get to know you better so that they don’t think you’re just trying to fool your girlfriend.

13) Be patient and give her time to think

Last but not least, it’s time you learned how to take things slow. 

This is the last thing that you want to do because you’re sure that if she doesn’t forgive you then it’s all over, but it’s not. Everything will be okay if you have the patience and give her plenty of time to think about the situation. 

Don’t do anything to pressure her into saying yes or give her a reason to say no–just let the process take place naturally and let her handle it in her own way.

Just put yourself in her shoes, you get the feeling that she needs time to think about her feelings for you, so do the same.

If you’re patient enough, she’ll come around and say yes to your second chance at love–and that’s all that you can really hope for.

Final thoughts

Hopefully, this list of tips will help you to find the courage you need to ask your girlfriend for a second chance. 

Remember, it’s not going to be easy and it’s definitely not going to happen overnight, but there’s no reason for you to lose faith in your relationship just because things didn’t work out the first time.

It’s important that now you’re ready for a relationship with your girlfriend and that you’re willing to do anything it takes to get the one that you want. 

Good luck and have faith, you’re going to be able to get your girlfriend back.


Can a relationship coach help you too?

If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.

I know this from personal experience…

A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.

If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.

In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.

I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.

Click here to get started.