10 reasons you miss your ex and you don’t want him back (and what to do next)

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When you got your heart broken, how did you deal with it?

Were you able to move on? If the answer is yes, then lucky you.

However, woe to those who are still in pain and are trying to move on.

The thing is, sometimes, you can’t get over a breakup.

You might miss your ex, even if he was not the perfect guy for you.

And while it might seem like all hope is lost and that there’s no chance of getting him back, it turns out it’s easy to get over him.

If this sounds at all like you or someone you know, keep reading for 10 reasons why we miss our exes and how to get over them with minimal pain.

1) You still think of him.

Whether or not you miss your ex as a person, you might still think of him simply because you can’t take him off your mind.

So why is it so hard to forget an ex-boyfriend?

Let’s say your ex was the love of your life. You thought he was the one for you. You shared good memories with him and he made you happy.

These are things that would take time to forget.

There’s no way for you to stop thinking about him once in a while, especially if he was the reason you had so much hope in love.  

But you just have to end it.

Maybe his lack of commitment scared you, or you discovered you weren’t compatible in the long run.

Either way, for whatever reason, you might be thinking about him sometimes and miss him deeply.

Regardless of what happened, it’s pretty hard to move on from the memories you shared with him.

It’s not the same as falling in love with him all over again, but it does happen more often than you’d think.

If this is happening to you, try to find a way to take your mind off of him for an hour or so every day.

You can spend time with your friends or family to get his memory out of your head for that one moment.

2) You have unanswered questions.

If your breakup with your ex occurred for a reason or no reason at all, you might have some unanswered questions.

Maybe he did something wrong, or maybe he really loved you but just couldn’t cope.

You might even think something must have happened on purpose, like they were trying to get away with something or that he may have cheated or he just doesn’t want to be in a relationship with you.

Regardless of what happened, things just didn’t work out and now all you’re left with is a feeling of sadness and lack of closure.

When something like this happens, don’t we all want answers?

You might want to stop thinking about him so much, but you feel like there’s no way to move on unless we know the reason why the relationship failed.

 Is it because of you? Were you not enough? These questions will keep on bugging you.

Now, listen to me.

If you always allow yourself to think about what went wrong, it follows that you will also think about your ex constantly and it’ll be impossible for you to stop.

Your thinking will consume you and make it difficult for you to move forward.

So what should you do?

Try to find the answers by asking him, if you can.

If there are no answers, then maybe you should stop thinking about him.

It should be easier than asking yourself why things didn’t work out with him, right?

 If there are answers, you’ll know that this isn’t something that has to keep on haunting you and that’s a step forward in your recovery.

Your mental and emotional peace matter more.

3) You feel sad.

Now, you might be someone who feels the occasional sadness throughout your days.

You might not cry, but the sadness that you felt when you first got over him has taken its place. The sadness might be severe or not so severe, but it will still affect you.

This happens because the feelings that he used to make you feel when he touched your heart are now gone.

When he used to love you and would do anything to be with you, these were what drove you forward.

These are gone, and now there’s only the sadness that was in their place.

This is very normal.

This is a stage that you will have to go through to heal completely.

It might be weeks, or even months before the sadness subsides. But most importantly, it will fade away.

You might cry, you might feel numbness and emptiness. You might miss him for so many reasons.

But if these things happen at the beginning of your breakup, there’s something positive about them: you’re healing!

The sadness means you’re not over him yet, which is why they are bound to fade away.

Feeling these things means you’re recovering, which is a good thing.

You might think that this pain will last forever, but trust me when I tell you that it won’t and it’ll be okay after a little while. 

You’ll feel better in no time.

4) You wish things were different between you two.

If you miss your ex, it might be because you wish things were different between you two.

Maybe things were fine at first, but then it all went downhill one day.

Maybe he turned out to be a creep, or maybe he didn’t turn out to be the person you thought he was.

He might have changed over time and no longer seems like the person that used to make your heart flutter.

You might wish that you could rewind the clock and bring the first few months back.

They were so beautiful. He loved you so much and you thought he was perfect.

Then something happened and your relationship went sour.

If that’s what happened, it might be hard for you to enjoy these good memories again as a great thing that happened.

You might feel like you can never be with him again or that you don’t deserve to be happy.

So maybe you wish things were different between the two of you so you will be able to move on peacefully and forget about these bad memories that remind you of him.

I understand that wanting different things is normal.

But if you stay stuck in this memory, you won’t be able to move on.

So you should stop thinking about him and think about what’s next for you.

5) You want him back.

If you feel like talking about your ex a lot, you might want the two of you to get back together.

You might still want to be with him even though there are so many reasons why you shouldn’t.

 If this is what’s going on in your mind and your heart, it doesn’t mean that you’re over him.

When some people think about their ex, they feel more love for them than ever before.

I’m sure you know what I mean.

This is the second stage of grief, which is when you’re in denial!

Of course, you don’t want him back because getting back with him is a bad idea!

If you didn’t feel that way before and now it’s different, then there’s something wrong.

You can’t control your thoughts and feelings. You can’t choose how you want to be feeling at this moment in time.

But you can choose how you want to live your life.

If this is the case, I strongly encourage you to move on because it’s unhealthy to be stuck in the past like that.

So, what must you do?

I’m gonna let you in on a secret.

No relationships have a one-size-fits-all solution. I know that from personal experience.

My own experience is that most relationship advice from friends and family just ends up backfiring.

But my struggle with missing an ex last year led me to try something new.

I spoke to a spiritual advisor at Psychic Source about the reasons why I miss my ex even if I don’t want him back.

It was a great decision, which I didn’t expect!

Because the psychic I spoke to was intelligent, compassionate, and down-to-earth. They approached my challenge of missing my ex and truly helped me tackle it effectively.

I finally felt like I had a roadmap forward for my love life, for the first time in years.

Click here to try out Psychic Source for yourself.

They know a lot about the reasons why you miss your ex, and how to optimize your love life and bust down the barriers holding you back.

Give it a try!

6) You’re depressed.

If you feel sad and angry about things, it’s probably because you think about him a lot even if you don’t want to.

Maybe you’re sad because he broke up with you or because he didn’t call when he said he would or because he didn’t mean it when he said those things to make you feel bad.

Whatever the reason is, it doesn’t matter.

The fact is that you miss him and you wish things could be different.

Of course, it is hard to move on when you have invested so much of your time and feelings.

And no matter what you think, this won’t magically change.

You’ll always miss him for a reason or a feeling and wishing that he’s back doesn’t change that.

This could only mean that you’re vulnerable to him.

But wait, you can do something about this.

You can learn how to protect yourself from being hurt again.

It’s important to take care of yourself so you can heal your heart greatly and not feel like a victim.

It’s a good idea to take eat healthy foods and go for walks, etc. This could take your mind off things and him

7) You think he’s coming back eventually.

If you think that your ex will eventually come back to you, then I have to ask: are you crazy?

You might feel like it’s normal to think this way because he broke up with you, but do you want him back?

Of course, it is normal for him to miss somebody. If it happened to me, I would miss him, too.

But I wouldn’t think that he’d call me back. I know that he’s over me and doesn’t want to be with me anymore.

You might notice that you’re still thinking about things that did happen in the past. And you might think that you can’t move on until he makes a comeback.

You might be in denial about the situation. But, look past it.

It’s important to look at everything objectively because it’s not your ex’s fault for breaking up with you if he doesn’t want to be with you anymore.

I know this is hard because you feel hurt and betrayed.

But if he doesn’t want to be with you, there is nothing you can do about it.

Just move on and live your life without him. I know it’s hard, but that’s what you have to do if he’s not coming back to you.

Love can be beautiful, but it can also be really painful.

During a recent struggle over missing my ex, I did something unorthodox.

As I mentioned, I reached out to the spiritual advisors at Psychic Source.

They really helped me grapple with coping with what I am feeling and gave me answers that helped.

They can help you in text chat, a call, or a video call and it costs much less than you might think.

Click here to get your personalized love reading.

8) You’re not ready to move on.

Now, this.

If you’re not ready to move on, then you’re probably missing him a lot and wishing that he’s back.

You would probably just be trying to hold onto or rekindle the relationship anyway.

But you probably don’t want to do that.

You’re reading this because you’re not ready to move on yet and you don’t know what to do.

I’ve been there and I know that it’s no fun, but you need to get past this.

So the question is: how will you move on?

You need to start coping with things and learning how to live with him being gone first before moving on and meeting someone else.

So what should you do?

I’d start by changing your perspective on the situation.

Realize that whatever happened, you’re going to be OK without him.

Of course, you miss him and you wish he was still around, but you will be fine without him.

You just need to learn how to enjoy the little things in life you can do by yourself.

So, how do you do that?

Get to know yourself and your needs better. Becoming more secure in yourself will make it harder for you to get caught up in things with him.

You can do this!

9) You’re in denial about what happened.

You may have created a reality for yourself where he’s still your boyfriend and you’re still in a relationship with him.

To be honest, I don’t know if this is a good or a bad thing. It could be both.

Maybe you think that he’s coming back at any minute and you’re going to see him again soon.

Perhaps you’re in denial about the situation and you think that what happened was a fluke.

Maybe you think that it’s not over between you two and he’ll be back to his normal self again soon.

But, look at things objectively.

I know that it is difficult to accept your reality, but as long as you realize that things will be better in the future, you will be OK eventually.

Just understand that things are not going to magically change and fall back into your lap. You can work on yourself now and start improving the situation soon.

And lastly.

10) You’re stuck in the past.

You might be missing your ex because you’re stuck in the past and can’t move on to the present.

I know how you feel. It’s easy to get lost in memories and wish things could be different.

But there’s no use in that because you need to accept what happened and go on with your life.

Something good to remember is that love is really important.

You have to feel good about yourself and love what you have to be happy again.

Of course, you need to understand that you will be fine without your ex.

So what should you do?

Start making a change for yourself by taking some time for yourself and listening to calming music or doing yoga.

Just make a mental note to improve yourself and move on.

You’ll be back on your feet in no time!

And that’s it!

I hope that this helped. I’ve suffered through a situation like this and I know how hard it can be.

For those of you who are going through something similar, I hope this helps as well.

I know that missing your ex can be a challenge, and I want to encourage you to never give up.

I mentioned Psychic Source earlier and my positive experience with them.

Their spiritual advisors understand an enormous amount about how to deal with missing your ex and how to address it.

Click here to get your own love reading.

Can a relationship coach help you too?

If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.

I know this from personal experience…

A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.

If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.

In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.

I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.

Click here to get started.