“I messed up with a guy I really like”: 10 ways to fix it

We sometimes include products we think are useful for our readers. If you buy through links on this page, we may earn a small commission. Read our affiliate disclosure.

 

‍Making mistakes isn’t the end of the world. In fact, it’s how you learn and grow as a person.

But when you mess up with a guy you really like, it can feel like you messed up the perfect relationship before it even starts.

How can you fix that? Well, here are 10 things you can try:

1) Be transparent and honest

First things first, be transparent and honest.

If you are not sure how your partner feels about you, you can find out if you ask.

If you have doubts about your partner, you can discuss it with them.

You see, if you don’t want to hurt your partner, don’t keep secrets.

Trust and transparency are two key elements in any healthy relationship.

Your partner has to know you well enough to know what you are feeling and thinking.

Otherwise, how can they know how to help you? If you are not yet at a place where you feel comfortable sharing what you’re feeling, that’s fine too.

You don’t have to rush into anything you don’t feel ready for.

But keep in mind that relationships are all about sharing, so you really have to put yourself out there. Just be careful not to overshare.

I know, you might think that it’s better to not tell him you messed up because you’re afraid that he will end the relationship before it even properly starts, but would you rather have a whole relationship built on a lie?

Trust me, it will end anyway, and you will regret it.

If you tell him now, you are giving him the chance to evaluate the situation himself and figure out how he feels about it all.

If he decides that he wants to stay with you, that will give you an amazing opportunity to get to know each other even better and build a strong bond.

And the best part?

He will know that he can trust you to be honest with him.

2) Be gracious and kind

Before you even begin to explain what went wrong or apologize, you should be gracious and kind to your partner.

This means you should apologize, but you should also be kind in your apology.

If your partner brought up something you did wrong, don’t get defensive.

Accept their criticism graciously and thank them for it.

Then, apologize for your mistake and explain how you will fix it.

While doing all of this, remember that it’s not about you; it’s about the relationship you have with your partner.

You see, you have to remember that whatever you did might trigger the guy when you tell him, and you need to prepare yourself for any reaction he may have.

Your best bet is to stay gracious and kind, even if, at first, he lets off some steam by blaming you or lashing out.

When you can’t respond in the same way, it will be very hard for him to hear what you have to say.

Now: also make sure that you stay safe, of course.

How he reacts in this situation will teach you how he will react in the future if things don’t go well, and that is something important to know!

What would a relationship coach say?

While this article will shed light on the main things you can do to fix a mistake you made, it can be helpful to speak to a relationship coach about your situation.

With a professional relationship coach, you can get advice tailored to your unique situation…

Relationship Hero is a popular site where highly trained relationship coaches help people work through complex relationship issues, like fixing a mistake.

Their popularity boils down to how skilled their coaches are.

Why am I so confident that they can help you?

Well, after recently experiencing a tough patch in my own relationship, I reached out to them for help.

From the moment I got in touch, I was given genuine, helpful advice, and was finally able to see my relationship issues with real clarity.

I was blown away by how kind and empathetic my coach was.

Within minutes, you could be receiving life-changing advice on how to navigate and repair the issues you’re facing in your relationship.

Click here to get started.

3) Practice self-care

If you bring up a mistake you made in the past and your partner gets defensive and angry, you may have a backup plan: self-care.

When you make a mistake, it’s easy to get caught up in the drama and stress that follows it.

You may start to feel guilty and like you’re under a ton of pressure to fix your mistake.

This can make you feel anxious and stressed, so it’s important to remember to take care of yourself during this time.

You can do this by taking a break from the situation.

Remove yourself from it and do something that makes you happy and helps you de-stress.

Self-care can be anything from watching your favorite TV show to going for a walk in nature. The important thing is that it helps you relax and forget about the drama for a bit.

Sure, it might have technically been your fault, but at the same time, you deserve to feel okay, too.

The drama of working out your mistake can be overwhelming, so don’t forget about yourself in the meantime!

4) Offer an apology with a solution

If you made a mistake that affected your relationship and your partner brought it up, you can apologize for it, but you should also offer a solution.

If your partner brought up a mistake you made, they want you to know that you did wrong and apologize for it.

But they also want to know that it won’t happen again.

If your partner brings up a mistake you made, don’t just apologize; offer a solution so they know that you are taking responsibility for it.

If your partner doesn’t bring up your mistake, you can bring it up yourself and apologize for it.

Just make sure you offer a solution so they know you won’t make that same mistake again.

You see, people like to believe actions, not words.

Your apology won’t mean a lot if you can’t show him that you are sure it won’t happen again.

Think about it: how else could he trust you?

So, when you apologize, make sure that you think of a way or two in which you can present a solution so that he knows you are actively working on preventing this mistake in the future.

This will also show him that you are determined to make things work with him, even if it means changing your ways.

5) Don’t overthink things too much

Many people, especially in a new relationship, tend to overthink things and assume the worst in their partner.

If your partner does something that makes you think they don’t like you as much as they used to, don’t overthink it.

If your partner doesn’t text you back as quickly as they usually do, don’t assume they don’t care about you anymore.

They might have been busy or have something else going on in their life.

They might not have had time to send a text. They might also have been waiting for the right moment to send a text.

Don’t assume the worst; give your partner the benefit of the doubt. You might be surprised at what you find out.

Also, keep in mind that in a new relationship, things are still new and exciting. One person might be busy while the other might be waiting for the right moment to send a text.

Now: when you talk about the mistake you made, don’t overthink every single reaction the guy has.

You see, everyone is different, and if he doesn’t reply to you for a bit, it doesn’t mean he is ghosting you, he might just need some time to think things over.

Also with the conversations you have with him, don’t overthink them too much, okay?

You see, it’s really important that you understand that when you overthink something too much, you will get into a habit of thinking negatively about everything, and this is something that will not only affect your relationships but your whole life as well.

So try to be more positive and think only of the good things in your relationship.

6) Don’t make the same mistake twice!

If you made a mistake and your partner brought it up, apologize for it and vow not to make that mistake again.

That’s great, but if you make the same mistake again, you might be in trouble.

If your partner brings up a mistake you made, apologize for it and vow not to make that mistake again.

If you make the same mistake again, that’s a problem. If your partner brought up a mistake you made, they might give you a pass on it.

They might be happy you apologized for it, but if you make the same mistake again, they might feel like you’re not taking their criticism seriously.

You see, whenever people apologize for something, it’s essentially just an empty promise until they follow up their words with action.

Now: if you make another mistake, you are showing your partner that you don’t really take him seriously and don’t really care about his feelings.

Making one mistake can sometimes be forgiven, and you’re lucky if the guy you like wants to give you another chance, but now you really don’t want to mess up again.

I can guarantee that if you make that same mistake again, that will probably be it.

7) Take some time to evaluate what went wrong

If your partner brings up a mistake you made, they might be waiting for you to take some time to evaluate what went wrong so that you can come up with a solution.

If your partner brought up a mistake you made, they might be waiting for you to take some time to figure out why it happened so you can avoid it in the future.

If your partner brings up a mistake you made and you don’t know how to fix it, ask them to give you some time to work on it so you can come up with a solution.

You see, if you made a mistake and you don’t know why it happened, ask them to give you some time to figure out what went wrong so you can avoid making it again.

The thing is, no matter what we do, there is always a reason for it.

Sometimes, we are aware of it, and sometimes, we do things subconsciously.

For example, if you kiss someone else while being with a guy, there are a thousand reasons for it.

Some are conscious, such as simply not caring enough about the other guy, while others might be subconscious, such as being afraid of committing fully because you don’t want to allow yourself to be in a healthy and happy relationship, so you sabotage it.

You see, you will need to dig deep and figure out what caused you to make that mistake so that you can avoid it in the future.

If you don’t do that and it was a subconscious decision, there is no way of knowing you won’t do it again someday.

Want advice specific to your situation?

I know what you’re going through with the mistake you made because last year my relationship was seemingly reaching a dead end too.

I’m talking do-not-resuscitate. Over and out.

I was ready to walk away, but before I did that I took a step I’d never taken before. I reached out to a professional relationship coach.

I had low expectations, but even my highest hopes were exceeded. The coach I spoke to at Relationship Hero quickly broke down the walls I’d built up in my relationship and helped me understand why I made that mistake in the first place.

This coach was tough but fair and genuinely helpful.

My coach took apart every single lie I was telling myself and helped me understand how to truly resolve the mistake I made and reconcile.

My relationship isn’t perfect now, but it’s so much better than what it was. Most importantly, I’m hugely optimistic about the future again.

Click here to check out Relationship Hero and see if they can help you too.

8) Tell the guy how much you like him and how much you regret your mistake

If your partner brought up a mistake you made and you want to fix it, start off your apology with how much you like them and how much you regret your mistake.

You can use phrases like, “I’m sorry I’ve been so busy lately, but I really like you and I regret not having time for us.”

The thing is, a lot of the time when you haven’t been seeing a guy for very long but then you make a mistake, he might think you just don’t care about him or the relationship.

But that’s not true, is it?

If you want a chance of fixing things, you need to make it very clear to him that he is important to you and that you do like him.

If you don’t do this, he might think you really don’t care about him and just want to get rid of him.

Trust me, even if it hurts your pride, tell him that you like him a lot and that you really regret hurting him.

This is your best bet at getting him to give you another chance and actually working through this mistake you made.

9) Communicate with the guy you like more

If your partner brought up a mistake you made and you want to fix it, you can communicate with them more.

You can send them a text to ask how their day was or to see what they are up to.

You can also suggest hanging out with them. If your partner brought up a mistake you made, you can communicate with them more.

You can apologize for your mistake and ask them if they have any suggestions on how to fix it.

If your partner brought up a mistake you made, you can communicate with them more. You can thank them for bringing it up and letting you know where you went wrong.

But communicating doesn’t just mean hanging out more or texting.

It means talking about the important things.

If you really like this guy and he’s important to you, don’t be afraid to dig deep with him.

Talk about why you made the mistake, talk about how you really feel about him, and talk about what you want from the relationship.

Communicating with your partner is really important, especially if you want to fix things and get back together.

If you want a healthy and strong relationship, communication is key.

10) Give him space if he needs it

If your partner brought up a mistake you made and they need space, give them space.

Don’t try to force them to talk to you about it or be around you until they feel comfortable doing so.

You are the one who made a mistake and now the ball is in his court. He gets to decide when he’s ready to talk about what happened.

So give him that space and let him come back when he’s ready.

You see, just because he needs space doesn’t mean he doesn’t like you or wants to end things with you.

Some guys just need space in order to think things over and figure out if they want to forgive you or not.

If he’s worth it to you, put in the work

If you made a mistake with a guy you like, you need to fix it.

The best way to do this is by following the tips above.

If the guy is worth it to you, then you need to put in the work.

Trust me, there is nothing worse than letting him go just to regret it years later when you feel like he might have been the one.

If you suspect that he might be the right guy for you, put in the effort to fix your mistake!

Can a relationship coach help you too?

If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.

I know this from personal experience…

A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.

If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.

In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.

I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.

Click here to get started.