He rejected you. Now what?
First, let me assure you that you’re not alone in this. It happens to the best of us, and it isn’t anyone’s fault.
Second, I want you to know that although he rejected you, his answer doesn’t have to be final. There are things you can do to win him over.
How do I know this? Because I was rejected by the man of my dreams and I got him back by following these 10 steps.
1) Give him less attention, but don’t ignore him
If he just rejected you, you might want to run and hide. I get it.
Dealing with rejection is hard to do. You might feel embarrassed. You might ruminate about what you did wrong.
But that’s the exact opposite of what you should do.
You don’t want to give him the wrong impression, do you?
Making him believe that he genuinely hurt you with his rejection is not what you want. Even if that’s true, he doesn’t have to see it.
Instead, you could take it down a notch. Maybe give him less attention, but don’t make it awkward by ignoring him.
For example, if he’s someone from school or a coworker or someone you inevitably see almost every day, you shouldn’t avoid him altogether.
At a minimum, you could still greet him once in a while and ask him about his day.
Here’s Selma June’s advice, a relationship expert:
“Make a balance between ignoring him and giving him some attention. You don’t want to act as a cold narcissist but you also don’t want to come off as needy.”
So, if he’s just rejected you, refrain from avoiding him completely.
2) Take some time to process your feelings
To win over a guy who rejected you, you need to think clearly.
When he rejected you, your feelings were probably pretty raw. And it’s hard to process that stuff overnight.
You might not feel too confident either.
So, before you roll up your sleeves and work on winning him over, it’s a good idea to focus on your own feelings for a while.
Hannah Jeon, an editorial assistant at GH, agrees:
“After you’ve taken some time to calm down and get grounded, it’s important to pay attention to what you’re feeling – and a great way to do this is to write it all down in a journal.”
If you’re not much of a writer, simply listing your emotions also works.
Because seeing them written down will help you gain some perspective. Rejection, after all, is a pretty big deal.
When you’re able to gain some perspective on things, you’re in the right mindset to decide what you want to do next.
This process of evaluating your feelings and thinking about your options may also give you new ideas about how to win him over.
3) Pretend you’re not interested in him anymore
This one works really well, depending on how good of an actress you are.
If he thinks that you’re not interested in him anymore, then he’ll be more likely to chase after you, right?
That’s just how men work.
Well, the truth is, not all men work like that. And, if you really want to win this guy over, even after he rejected you, you might need professional advice.
I’ve mentioned before that I was rejected by the man of my dreams and then I got him back. But what I didn’t tell you is that I didn’t find all the answers on my own. Instead, I sought professional help.
That’s when I discovered Relationship Hero, a popular site where highly trained relationship coaches help people work through complex relationship issues, like winning over a guy after being rejected by him.
The coach I worked with evaluated the situation and gave me advice on what I should do.
And guess what? It worked really well.
I got him to chase after me. It took a while, but it was worth it because he eventually did.
If you want to pursue this course of action, see if Relationship Hero is a good fit for you.
4) Try to impress him without talking to him
The next way to win over a guy who rejected you is to impress him without talking to him, at least not right away.
Luckily, there are numerous ways to do just that, such as…
…by paying attention to your looks – maybe by wearing a new outfit, doing your hair differently, or applying a little bit of makeup.
…by smiling and looking happy when he’s around – he’ll want to know the reason why you’re so cheerful.
…by being nice, yet unavailable to him – he’ll wonder why you’re not interested in him anymore.
…by being confident – he’ll be intrigued by how well you carry yourself.
…by always smelling great – he’ll love that he can smell you from a distance.
…by working hard to succeed in everything you do – he’ll admire you for your hustle.
…by deciding to learn more about one of his hobbies – he’ll be flattered that you took the time to learn more about him.
The bottom line is that the best way to win over a guy who rejected you is to impress him in more than one way, without being obvious about it.
5) Making him a little jealous won’t hurt either
Listen, I know you may not want to play dirty. But he rejected you. So why not make him a little jealous?
Callisto Adams, a dating and relationship expert, shares his opinion on this:
“Using a little bit of jealousy will work to get a guy’s attention and reflect on his feelings.”
In other words, if you want to win him over, you should make him feel a little jealous.
Callisto Adams suggests the following ways:
Be confident and work on yourself
Be that mysterious woman
Treat him the same as others
Be at the center of attention
Praise your male best friend
As you can see, you don’t have to date another guy and deceive him just to make the guy who rejected you jealous. There are other ways, more subtle, to get his attention and make him feel a little jealous, too.
For example, if he’s a party boy, then don’t hesitate to post lots of pictures of yourself and your friends when you’re out partying. This could make him realize what he’s missing out on.
See what I’m getting at? There are more ways for you to subtly work on winning him over than just going out with someone else.
6) Patience and consistency will get you there
I realize that these are difficult things to do. But if you really want to win a guy who rejected you, this is what you need to do.
First of all, it’s important to be patient. Winning him over won’t happen overnight.
It could take weeks or months to win him over, depending on the circumstances and how badly you want him. So don’t give up just because it’s not happening quickly.
Also, you need to be consistent. This means that you can’t play hard to get one day and then the next to pour out your soul to him. It’s all or nothing.
This is where I used to mess up. I couldn’t be consistent because I wasn’t in control of my emotions. So I’d go back and forth between being nice to him and ignoring him. That obviously didn’t work.
When you’re able to combine patience and consistency, you’ll be able to win your guy over without saying a word – or at least without being obvious about it.
7) Find out what really makes him tick
If you want to win a guy over after he rejected you, you need to learn more about him and figure out what really makes him tick.
Thanks to social media, you can now find out a lot about him. If he’s on social media like Facebook and Instagram, then you’ll be able to find out what he likes and what his interests are just by checking out the pictures he posts and the status updates he writes.
But, while that will definitely help, it won’t be enough to figure out what makes him tick for real.
How do I know?
On my journey to find out what really makes a guy tick, I came across relationship expert James Bauer’s excellent free video.
In it, he talks about how men really think and feel in relationships. According to Bauer men don’t actually need a lot to feel content in their relationships. In fact, what they need has nothing to do with sex.
Men have certain innate drivers. And when a woman comes along and triggers them, it causes a powerful response.
A man who will only have eyes for you. A man who will reconsider his answer to you. A man who will want to commit to you wholeheartedly.
If that’s what you want, all you need is to learn how to trigger this instinct in him – the Hero Instinct.
You can learn exactly what to do by watching this free video by James Bauer.
8) Show him a side of you he never knew existed
Want to know another thing you can do to win him over?
It’s simple: you have to show him a side of you he never knew existed.
Maybe he rejected you because he had the wrong impression of you. Maybe you only showed him a side of yourself when you were trying to get his attention. But it’s time to show him the real you.
The only question is: what do you want to show him? What will make him fall for you and want to commit? How can you make him feel as if he’s not just another guy?
According to Holly Riordan, a science fiction writer, here are some ways to make someone change their opinion about you:
Try to find out what he doesn’t like about you
Prove to him that you’re actually not like that
Find ways to spend more time with him
By doing so, you can show him that you’re different than he thought, and you’ll also find out more about him. This will help you get to know him better, which is one of the most important things in a relationship.
9) Do things for your own well-being
Done this one yet? You’ve got to. It has a direct effect on everything else you’re doing to win him over.
Because when you don’t do things for your own well-being, it shows. Because you won’t be happy. Because you won’t be at your best.
And when you’re not at your best, then how can he fall for you and want to commit?
Here are some things you can do to take care of yourself, according to John Adams and the Wellbeing Project:
Get enough sleep
Eat a balanced diet
Deal with stress
Stay physically active
Learn to live in the present
Spend time with friends and family
These tips are more important than you think. You see, when I was rejected by the man of my dreams, I stopped getting out of the house and started eating junk food.
Do you know what that did to my physical and mental well-being? It made me gain a lot of weight and feel depressed. And I’m sure you know that being in love and depressed isn’t a good combo.
So don’t forget to take care of yourself first and make yourself happy. That way, you’ll win him over.
10) Don’t put pressure on him to change his mind
This is the last thing you need to remember when trying to win over a guy who rejected you.
Don’t put pressure on him or make him feel bad about his decision. All you’re doing by doing this is making him feel like he made the right decision. After all, no one likes to be pressured.
“Dating can be tough no matter how great you are, but you should never have to convince, beg, or pressure a guy into a relationship,” says author Kelsey Dykstra.
So what should you do instead?
If there’s anything that I’ve learned from my experience, is that you need to play it cool. I’m sure you’re aware that no one likes drama either.
So, you need to show him that you’re okay with what happened and that you’re not giving up. If you can do that, then you’ll have a much better chance of winning him over.
There you go – 10 tips on how to win over a guy who rejected you.
Apply these tips, and you’ll notice that he’ll be more open to the idea of being with you. He might even ask you out!
But if he doesn’t, then you can still win him over. You might not be able to do it alone, though.
If that’s the case, don’t hesitate to ask for professional advice. After all, your love life is worth it!
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.
I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.
The above link will give you $50 off your first session - an exclusive offer for Love Connection readers.