We all know how hard it can be to let someone know that we like them.
It often feels like we’re walking on eggshells, unsure of how they might react.
Unfortunately, telling someone you like them can sometimes feel like a gamble. What if they don’t like you back? What if the feeling isn’t mutual?
These are all valid fears and real concerns, but the risk is worth taking.
With these 27 tips, you’ll learn how to tell someone you like them without scaring them away.
1) Flirt a little
Drop some hints that you like them, but don’t overdo it. What you want is to flirt with them without being too obvious.
You see, flirting is a fun way to catch someone’s attention and show them that you like them.
Flirt in a way that shows them that you’re confident and comfortable. If you’re feeling shy, just be yourself. Don’t worry too much about how they might respond.
2) Listen to their stories
Give them your full attention. Listen to their stories, laugh at their jokes.
By doing this you’ll show them that you’re interested in what they have to say and that you respect their opinions.
This will not only make them feel good but will show them how much they matter to you which can be a powerful way of showing them you care, without making them feel uncomfortable.
3) Give them your number
If you’ve met someone that you like, give them your phone number and see how they respond.
If they give you their number back, it means that they like you too!
If they don’t, maybe they’re already seeing someone or not ready for a relationship yet.
In any case, it’s worth the shot. You know what they say, “nothing ventured, nothing gained”.
4) Make eye contact
Look straight into their eyes and smile.
They say the eyes are the window to the soul.
The eyes really can reveal a lot of our feelings and by looking into their eyes, you’re letting them know that you’re interested in them.
This is also a good way to start conversations with people who may be shy or nervous about talking to strangers.
5) Touch their arm gently
Touching their arm or hand gently will let them know that you’re interested in them and you think they’re attractive.
A good time to do this is when they’re telling you a story or a joke, you can close in and touch their arm as you listen carefully or laugh at the punchline.
In my experience, this is a subtle yet sure way of letting them know how you feel.
6) Ask about their relationship status
One way to show someone that you like them is to ask them about their boyfriend or girlfriend. This may seem like an innocent question but is a clear sign that someone is interested.
Turns out that casually inquiring about their partner is a good way to show someone that you’re attracted to them and want to get to know them better, without scaring them off. For example, you could ask, “and what does your girlfriend think about you traveling so much?”
If they say they’re not seeing anyone, it shows that they like you too and want to get to know you better.
On the other hand, if they mention a significant other, either they’re already in a relationship, or, they’re not that into you but want to let you off gently.
7) Compliment their appearance
Complimenting someone on their appearance is a good way to let them know that you like them.
It shows that you are paying close attention and that you like what you see.
You can compliment anything from the color of their eyes to their style choices. Don’t be afraid to look at the little things that maybe aren’t all that obvious. For example:
- Perhaps he’s wearing an old, antique-looking watch. Could it be an old family heirloom?
- What cool earrings, did she know that their color complements her eyes?
- What a cool t-shirt! You love that band and went to their concert a couple of years back!
By complementing their appearance and style, you’re letting them know that you see and appreciate them. You’re also showing that you have a good sense of style yourself and that you recognize it in them.
8) Ask what they do for fun
One way to show someone that you like them is to ask what they do for fun.
This is a great ice-breaker and a good way to get to know someone better because it gives you insight into their life and tells you what kind of stuff they’re into.
You could ask, “what do you like to do when you’re not working or hanging out with your friends?” or, “what’s your favorite hobby?”
This shows not only interest in the person but also a willingness to learn more about who they are and how they enjoy their free time.
9) Ask them about their plans
One way to show someone that you like them is to ask them about their plans for the weekend or upcoming holidays. This is one sneaky yet subtle move because it hints to the person that you want to spend some time with them without being too obvious!
Or you could casually suggest, if they’re not busy, going to see “the new Leonardo DiCaprio movie that everyone is talking about” together.
This shows your interest without seeming too pushy.
10) Ask about their day at work
If you want to hint to someone that you like them, then take an interest in their lives.
For example, if the person is a co-worker or friend and they mention something about work at lunchtime, ask them more questions about it so that your conversation can turn into a long-lasting one.
Follow up on something they mentioned last time you spoke, like a big project or upcoming promotion.
Think about it:
You’re showing them that you care about what goes on in their lives and want to know them better.
11) Show a real interest
Asking people questions about their lives is a good way to get to know them and to show them that you like them.
It’s normal to make conversation so it won’t scare them away.
For example, ask about:
- their hobbies
- their pets
- their travel plans
- whether they’ve read anything good recently
- what their favorite restaurant is
- what type of music they like
Remember not to get too personal or serious. Stick to light, happy topics.
When you have something in common, be sure to point it out.
The key here is to know how to phrase the questions properly and not come off as being nosy.
12) Be genuine
The most important thing to do when trying to impress the person that you like is to be genuine and not fake.
That means that you should be yourself and never pretend to be someone else to appeal to them more.
This can be challenging if you’re shy or nervous, but if you take the time to get to know someone that you like, then you’ll find that there is nothing more rewarding than a relationship with someone that means the world to you.
You want to show them that you like them, but you also want them to like you back, the real you.
13) Be honest and direct
Sometimes people keep their feelings to themselves because they don’t want to embarrass themselves.
This makes it difficult to know how the other person feels about you.
So if you like someone, the best thing is to be honest about your feelings.
Your honesty will show your sincerity and they will respect you for it.
Just be yourself and don’t try to hide behind a mask.
14) Make plans together
Let them know you like them by planning fun stuff to do together.
Find some fun activities that you both like, for example:
- going to the theatre
- getting ice cream
- going antiquing
- taking a photography class together
- or even just going for a walk in the park
Don’t just plan things that you like doing.
Take an interest in what they like. Even if it’s not something you’ve done before or something you think that you’re into, be open-minded.
You want to show them that you are flexible and open to new experiences.
Trying something new for their sake will show them how much they mean to you.
Not only will you show them how cool you are, but you’ll also get them to see you in a new light, as more than just a friend.
15) Send them flirty texts
Text them from time to time to let them know that you’re thinking about them. Texting is a good way to show someone that you like them without coming off as intimidating or annoying.
Stay fun and flirty.
Don’t overdo it though! If you keep texting them too often, they might think that you’re desperate.
It’s also a good idea to wait a while before texting them back, you don’t want them to think that you don’t have anything better to do. Wait for at least an hour before replying to a text.
16) Make them laugh
Did you know laughter releases hormones that make you feel great? It can also make people feel attracted to you!
Many people think that being funny is the easiest thing in the world. However, an actual “funny” person is much rarer than a person who is just charming and confident.
Simply put, don’t be afraid to be funny! Don’t take yourself too seriously, just make sure not to let it get out of hand.
What’s more, people are naturally drawn to happy people. Moods are infectious, so being around someone positive improves everyone’s mood.
So smile, laugh, and tell jokes. They won’t be able to resist your charms.
17) Use body language
We’re constantly sending signals out with our bodies, so pay attention, this is something you can use to your advantage.
- To show confidence you need to stand up straight, pull your shoulders back, and hold your chin up. Don’t be afraid to make eye contact. If you slouch and avoid meeting the other person’s gaze, it shows that you are shy, introverted, and not interested in interacting.
- To show attraction, you need to face the person you like with open arms. Don’t cross your arms or clench your fists because that will cause the opposite effect.
Body language can be a great tool to show someone that you like them.
18) Ask them out on a date
It may seem obvious but asking someone out on a date is one of the most effective and natural ways to let them know you’re into them.
If you’re feeling nervous or you’re worried that you might get rejected, picture a scenario where they say yes.
The law of attraction states that if we want something to happen, we must imagine it and think about it in great detail. It provides us with a vivid picture of the outcome of our desired action; which raises our likelihood of that particular outcome.
So just be positive and you’ll be going out on a date soon!
19) Be friends before asking them out
It’s much better to be friends with the person first before asking them out than just asking them out right off the bat.
If you already know their interests, what they like doing, and have mutual friends, you’re more likely to make a connection.
Being friends with them will also give them a chance to get to know how wonderful you are.
Building a friendship builds trust. They’re more likely to say yes to a date to someone they know and trust.
So, take your time, get to know them, and let them get to know you.
20) Be yourself
Be yourself, you know? Don’t act like someone else. Be authentic and true to yourself and where you’re coming from.
- Don’t pretend to like the things you dislike.
- Don’t force a smile when you’re feeling down.
- Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not.
- And never lie to someone you like.
If you want to show someone that you like them and you’re hoping that they like you back, be yourself and let them be themselves.
Always be true to who you are and what you feel and never try to force anything.
21) Tell them that you like them in person
It’s always a good idea to tell someone that you like them in person.
Dress to kill. Wear a seductive perfume. Walk in with confidence.
It’s true that if you do that, half the battle is won.
Telling them face-to-face is more personal. You get to look into their eyes as you tell them. They’ll know that you really mean it.
Be genuine and you’ll get noticed.
22) Text them
Okay, so maybe you’re shy and there’s no way that you express your feelings in person.
You can let them know how you feel in a text.
The advantage of a text message is that it gives you a lot of time to carefully think about what you want to say.
You could simply tell them how much you enjoy their company and that you really want to get to know them better.
If they like you back, they’ll text you back and let you know. If they don’t, well, the good part of doing all of this over text messages is that it saves you both the embarrassment you’d probably feel in person.
23) Put their needs first
When you care about someone it’s only natural that you worry about them and want what’s best for them. This is true for your family, friends, and your love interest.
Putting them and their needs before your own is a sign of true affection.
So if you put the needs of the person you like before your own, they’ll see how you really feel.
Hopefully, your feelings will be reciprocated and they’ll also work hard to put your first and make you happy.
24) Be there for them
Be there for them if they need help or support.
A sure way to show someone that you like them without coming off too strong is simply to be there for them.
It’s especially important if they’re going through a hard time.
They’ll know that you really care about them and that they can count on you.
At the same time, they’ll be glad to know that they can help you out the same way.
25) Don’t judge
When you like someone you don’t judge them. You respect them and accept them for who they are.
There’s no doubt there’s always something to improve, but that’s not your concern.
Your job is simply to love and accept the person no matter what they’re like or how they act.
If you judge them, then you’re making it clear that you’re not interested in getting close to them and getting to know the real person behind their outer appearance.
26) Avoid telling them too early
Sometimes it’s a good idea to wait to get to know the person you’re dating before blurting out your feelings.
First of all, you don’t want to scare them off with “feelings” before they are ready.
Second, you might be too nervous or scared to tell the person who you really like that you like them.
This is understandable. That’s why if you wait until you get to know them better, then it will be easier to communicate with them in the future.
If they don’t feel the same way about you at first, there’s a chance their feelings will change with time.
27) Don’t pressure them in saying it back
When you tell the person you like how you feel, don’t pressure them into saying it back to you. Give them some space and time to think about what you’ve said.
If they’re not as excited or just aren’t interested in sharing their feelings right away, that’s okay. Everyone’s different and some people have a harder time admitting that they like someone.
Maybe they’re afraid of being hurt or making a mistake.
Hopefully, if you play it cool, once they are ready they’ll be just as excited to tell you how they feel in return.
And finally, if after giving them all the time and space in the world they still ignore what was said, then maybe it wasn’t meant to be?
How to deal with rejection?
1) Understand that it says nothing about you
It’s important to realize that being rejected romantically doesn’t say anything about you as a person. It doesn’t mean that you’re bad or that there’s something wrong with you.
In fact, chances are it has more to do with the person who’s rejecting you than it does with you.
- Maybe they’ve had a bad experience with love and aren’t ready to open up again.
- Maybe they’re just not interested in dating right now.
Who knows? It could be anything.
That’s why you shouldn’t take it too personally and blame yourself for their rejection of your feelings.
At the end of the day, all that matters is that you’re both happy and that you get over them as quickly.
At least now you know where you stand. Time to find love somewhere else.
2) Take a break from the person who rejected you
You need to take a break from the person that rejected you.
If they’re a friend, they’ll understand that you need some space and will be there when you are ready to resume your friendship.
If it’s someone you’re just getting to know, don’t stick around hoping that they’ll change their mind.
It’s best to move on and find someone who wants to be involved with you romantically.
3) Look at it from their perspective
It’s easier said than done but try to put yourself in their shoes and understand that it might be just as uncomfortable for them as it is for you.
Imagine if they told you they liked you and you didn’t feel the same way. Wouldn’t you feel bad?
Haven’t you ever been told by someone that they like you without feeling the same way?
Maybe you really value them as a friend but didn’t feel the same way in a romantic sense. You wouldn’t want them to hurt and feel bad.
4) Understand that they just don’t feel the same way
There are a myriad of reasons that someone doesn’t want to go out with you.
Maybe they value your friendship and don’t want to ruin it. Maybe they just don’t see you that way.
Or maybe they’ve been hurt and are not ready for a relationship.
If they don’t feel the same way about you, there’s really no point in trying to get them to change their mind. Just accept it and move on.
5) Figure out what went wrong in your relationship with them
Although there’s nothing you can do about being rejected, maybe you could learn something from the situation.
Try to figure out what went wrong in the relationship so that it won’t happen again with someone else!
If there is something you can work on or change, all the more reason to find out.
6) Think about all the people who like you
Think about all the great people in your life who think you are amazing. They love and appreciate you, otherwise, they wouldn’t be in your life.
Just because this one person doesn’t like you, doesn’t mean that nobody loves you or that you’ll always be alone.
Do you like everyone who likes you? Of course not!
It just means that you and this person were not the right fit.
Who knows, maybe this was a sign from the universe because you are about to meet your true twin flame!
7) Find a distraction
Think about something other than the rejection. Get out and do stuff.
- Why not start planning a trip? When’s the last time you went on an adventure?
- Go out clubbing and have fun with your friends.
- Meet new people.
- Make new memories.
- Take up a new hobby.
Find time for the stuff you’ve been postponing.
Do something that will remind you just how fun life can be.
8) Don’t dwell on the past, look to the future and keep moving forward
Don’t dwell on your past relationships too much when you’ve been rejected by someone who isn’t in touch with themselves or wants to talk about their feelings.
Just be thankful that you got to have whatever relationship with them that you did have and
They had their reasons and maybe one day they’ll share those reasons with you. For the time being though, just be grateful for the relationship you two did have even if it wasn’t a romantic one or perhaps didn’t last as long as you had hoped.
If they were truly good friends before, then maybe you will remain friends.
9) Focus on your own life, goals, and aspirations
This might be a good time to take stock of your life. Where do you stand in terms of your studies, career, and other goals you had set for yourself?
Remember your dreams and plans?
Believe me, I know it’s tough when you’re emotionally invested in someone else but don’t forget to think about your own needs.
It’s easy to get lost in caring for another person but you need to get back to living your life and following your dreams.
Life has so much to offer, there’s no time to dwell on a failed relationship.
10) Don’t force anything
If they don’t like you for who you are, they don’t deserve to be with you.
The most important thing is to be happy with yourself. If they can’t see how great you are, why would you want to be with them?
If the person you like doesn’t like you back, there is someone else out there who does, so don’t force things. It’s just not meant to be.
It’s better to find love at the right time, with the right person than with the wrong person at the wrong time.
11) Accept the fact that some relationships are not meant to be
Some people just aren’t right for each other. There’s no point in forcing something if it is not meant to be.
If you haven’t found love yet, know that someday the right person will come along, you just have to be patient and keep searching.
Rejection is an unavoidable part of life and the sooner you accept that the easier it will be for you to move on.
12) Put yourself out there
One of the best ways to get over rejection is to fall in love again.
So don’t take too long before putting yourself out there again.
Just because it didn’t work out with this person doesn’t mean that it won’t with someone else.
If you’re open to love, you will find it.
13) Focus on other relationships
A good way to get over rejection is to focus on all the other relationships in your life.
Remember all the amazing people who love you for who you are. Your family. Your friends. Even your co-workers.
When’s the last time you hung out with our bestie?
Instead of feeling bad about being rejected, put all that energy into nurturing the important relationships in your life.
Never lose sight of the people that mean the most to you and who actually care about you. They will always be there for you.
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.
I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.