You can feel it – he wants to break up with you.
But certainly, you don’t want to call quits. You may have tried to appeal to him, but you’re about to run out of more-constructive tries.
Don’t despair! We’ve put together a list of 15 ways that might help persuade him from breaking up with you – and keep your relationship alive.
1) Give him what he wants
This is the time to compromise.
If there’s something you’ve been disagreeing with him on, give in and give him what he wants.
This will help the two of you resolve your fight and make him realize that you can be generous when it comes to compromising.
You see, once a man sets his mind about something, there’s no stopping him. That is why before it’s too late, you want to change his mind about breaking up.
If he wants you to spend more time with him, let him have it. If he wants you to change your nagging habits, give in and do it. If he wants you to give up on something, do it. If he wants you to let him have time to himself, let him that space.
This won’t totally drain you of your identity, but it will help make him see that you’re willing to meet his needs – a quality every man wants in a woman.
Give up anything that will make him realize you are someone whose word cannot be trusted. Show him that you are willing to do the necessary things just to stop him from walking out of your life.
2) Talk about why he’s breaking up with you
If he has been giving you subtle hints about the reasons why he wants to break up, confront him on it.
Instead of making excuses and dodging the issue, ask him directly what your shortcomings are as a girlfriend and how you can improve on them so that he won’t have any reason to leave you down the road.
What men want in a relationship is someone who can make them comfortable. As much as they want you to be the perfect girlfriend and want your love, they also want you to shoulder the responsibility of being their best friend and companion.
If they feel like you’re not doing that, they are bound to abandon you.
Talk with him about how he feels and why he wants to break up with you. Make sure he knows that there is something missing in your relationship so that he can understand why you are so desperate for him not to leave.
If you cannot discuss why you are so eager in wanting him to stay, you can tell him that there’s something wrong with the relationship and ask if he can help you fix it.
Keep in mind that communication is key when it comes to resolving issues, especially when the two of you still have love for each other.
3) Show him the reasons why you love him so much
All men crave for is reassurance that they’re loved and needed in their woman’s life.
Do you know that once a man feels his woman is dependent on him and needs him, he becomes the most confident guy in the world?
He feels “manly” and needed.
However, if he feels that his worth is being doubted, he starts getting insecure.
This insecurity will lead him to think you don’t love him enough or that you’re not committed to the relationship.
Let me back it up: there’s a new theory in the relationship world that’s causing quite a stir – it’s called the hero instinct.
Coined by relationship expert James Bauer, this fascinating concept finally explains how men really think and feel in relationships.
And it’s something most women have never even heard of.
According to James Bauer, men don’t actually need a lot to feel content in their relationships. In fact, what they need has nothing to do with sex.
Men have certain innate drivers. And when a woman comes along and triggers them, it causes a powerful response. The result is a man who loves harder, commits wholeheartedly, and truly dedicates himself to the relationship.
So, how can you trigger your man’s hero instinct?
The easiest thing to do is to watch this simple and genuine video by James Bauer.
The truth is, once you understand how the hero instinct works, there’s no telling what heights your relationship can reach.
So if you want to give your man what he truly wants from you, make sure to check out James Bauer’s excellent video. In it, he reveals the exact texts and phrases you can use straight away.
4) Make an effort to put yourself in his shoes
Is there any reason why he may want to break up with you?
It could be that he’s just not ready to commit (to a relationship, not just you).
If that’s the case, you need to make a conscious effort to stop pressuring him into making a commitment; let him have time and space alone.
If, on the other hand, it’s something else (such as work or family issues), talk it out with him and try your best to help resolve the matter.
See things from his perspective – and find out why he’s so determined not to be in a relationship right now.
If you can understand why he’s not in a relationship right now, then at least you’ll know how to make him feel wanted and loved. Then you can help him realize that there is something wrong with his decision about breaking up with you – and the two of you can work together to fix it.
To be honest, your understanding of what he is going through right now is what will save the relationship.
The biggest mistake you can make at this point is to act all helpless and pitiful.
Why is that?
That will only make him feel like he’s doing you a huge favor by staying with you – which isn’t going to motivate him to stay.
Instead, show him that you are a strong woman who is willing to fight for her relationship and show him that he’s making a huge mistake by breaking up with you.
5) Don’t let your pride get the best of you
If you start thinking that you are too good for him, certainly, things will not end well.
Relationships are all about give and take. If you put down his efforts at pleasing you, he will feel as though his efforts aren’t worth it to keep the relationship alive.
A man may not be a mind reader, but he’ll certainly have an idea if you don’t appreciate or respect him as your partner. If you’re already thinking that he doesn’t deserve you, all this will do is go against everything you just said.
On the other hand, if you want him to know that he can count on your love and devotion, surely you need to make sure to stop putting all the blame to him.
Remind him of your commitment to the relationship and make it clear that you’re willing to work through any issues together and that there’s no need for a break-up.
Pride is such a killer.
It makes people think that they are too good for each other. And when you’re in a relationship, you should never forget that it takes two people to keep it alive and to make the relationship work.
6) Let him be himself around you
Another key way to stop your boyfriend from breaking up with you is to let him be himself – even if you don’t agree with a lot of his decisions.
After all, if you want to know what he’s going through and why he thinks a break-up is necessary, you need to let your boyfriend be himself.
If you want him to trust you, prove it by trusting him as well. Find out what he is going through; sometimes it’s not just about the relationship. It could be about something else.
If you’re always telling him what to do and what not to do, you’re going to end up pushing him away.
Every man needs his freedom, especially when it comes to making his own decisions.
If your boyfriend is too shy and is afraid that opening up to you will scare you away, it is time to make an effort and help him open up and talk about his feelings on his own terms.
At the same time, if he’s been behaving in a way that has always bothered you or something that makes him different from every other guy, appreciate the fact that he is being himself and not like anyone else.
7) Change for the better
Another thing you can do to prevent a breakup is to change for the better.
Ultimately, that’s what will make him attracted to you again, because when he sees that you’re making changes for the better, he’ll see how much value he has in your life.
And how else can you change for the better other than to work on yourself?
Personally, I was able to do this by following Ruda Iande’s lessons in his Love and Intimacy Masterclass.
A world-renowned shaman and love expert, Ruda taught me that in order to be a better person, I need to learn to love myself first they way I love others.
So I took myself out on dates, gave myself gifts, and basically dated myself, like he advised. Over time, I realized that I was starting to get better as a person.
My original goal was to get my boyfriend to take me back, and even though he did in the end, I still found myself getting better for my sake, not just for his.
So if you want to get started on your self-love journey, maybe Ruda’s teachings can help you, too.
And who knows? Maybe you’ll stop him from breaking up with you before he even thinks about it when he sees how much better you’ve become.
8) Improve your communication with him
If you want your boyfriend to know you are committed to the relationship, it’s necessary that you’re willing to take the bull by the horns.
And here’s how:
- Talk about everything – and not just about the relationship content. Everyone goes through challenging times and life happens (that’s what we call “life” after all).
Not only that, but just because your boyfriend is going through a difficult time doesn’t mean you should shy away from discussing his problems with him.
- Be understanding of his problems. Your boyfriend seems distant and wants space, but that doesn’t mean he’s being insensitive or unfriendly towards you. He’s simply going through a difficult time, and you need to understand that.
- Don’t keep trying to solve the problem by yourselves. There is no such thing as a relationship guru who can solve ALL your problems.
It’s better to have open communication and have a complete understanding of what’s happening between the two of you and what he needs from you.
There might be misunderstandings before which were caused by communication problems between the two of you – now’s the perfect time to address the existing and prevent future misunderstandings.
Be patient and build up a trusting relationship with your boyfriend so that you’re willing to give him time to process his feelings – it will go a long way when all you have to do is listen, understand and accept.
9) Or try the no-contact rule
What you can try as well is the no-contact rule.
If you have absolutely no contact with him – no messages, no phone calls, no Snapchat, nothing – he’ll probably start to wonder why he hasn’t heard from you yet.
What makes this tactic work best is that if your boyfriend tries to reach out yet there’s no response from your end, then at some point he’ll just give up and come knocking on your door and he’ll guess something went wrong.
Be careful with this tactic though, you don’t want to cut off all contact with him for a long, long time. According to studies, the no-contact rule with a current boyfriend should only last for about 5 days.
Although it might be difficult for you to do, avoid any and all contact with your boyfriend for 5 days straight. If he sees you’re suddenly going out of his life then he’ll start wondering what’s going on.
Good or bad, give no explanations and simply say nothing – he’ll have to deal with this unspoken assumption that the relationship is over and break up with you if it’s what he decides to do.
While you’re at it, you can use the time being apart from him to make improvements and see things clearly on your own.
Give yourself some time to look at the relationship from a distance and start building up trust in yourself again, it’ll be easier for you to start speaking to him again once you’re back in touch.
10) Keep the spark alive
Keeping the spark alive in a relationship is actually a very important thing to do.
Think about it, how many relationships have you experienced where things were going well for a long time until one day something happened and things went downhill from there? Do you know why this happens?
Because couples stop taking care of their relationships. When the spark disappears, fights happen when they’re not supposed to happen, and arguments are not resolved the way that they should.
Does that sound familiar to you? Basically, people drown their relationship in routine after a certain period of time and this is how couples lose the love for each other and break up.
Tip: The next time you’re about to go to bed, drop a note at the pillow.
Just a simple message like “I love you, have a great day tomorrow” or something similar as little will keep the spark alive.
The whole point of keeping the spark alive is that it’s always important to keep things interesting in your relationship. If both of you are able to do this by keeping it fresh then there will always be some exciting moments you can look forward to with your boyfriend.
Another tip: Spice up things in the bed.
Try different things and make it more interesting for you both, even if it’s something new or unusual. Fulfill his fantasies – you might be surprised by how your boyfriend reacts to such a thing.
Finding a way to make something new and interesting is all it takes to keep the spark alive.
11) Tell him how much he means to you
If your boyfriend is contemplating a breakup because there’s no feeling anymore, don’t be afraid to tell him how much he means to you.
Let him know how much you love him and want the best for him. You can also give some reasons why your relationship is important for both of you and why it should continue.
Not only those.
If you want him to stay with you then this is a good way of telling him. Because it will let him know that you’re still committed to each other and that what’s happening isn’t an easy decision for either of you.
Your actions should also align with what you say – if you tell him how important he is in your life, it’s important that you do the same.
You can also give some reasons why your relationship is important for both of you and why it should continue. If the two of you share the same goals in life this will ensure that, once things are resolved, everything will fall back into place like it used to be before too long.
12) Be proactive and find solutions together with your boyfriend
When we’re starting new things in life, it’s easy for us to think “I should do this” and then just neglect it completely. Maybe you’re starting a new job and you’ve never been so busy before in your life.
But, for sure, you don’t want to let your boyfriend down – do you?
Being proactive means being prepared for the new challenges and tasks that come with it. You start feeling confident as well because when you’re proactive at work, there’s also a positive effect on other areas of your life.
The same is true for being proactive in your relationship. If you can work as a team with your boyfriend and find solutions together, trust me, it’ll be easier for you to tackle problems together.
The goal is to keep communication open and problem solving as one unit. If things are about to get too serious for you, take the initiative and put the relationship on hold temporarily until you both feel better.
When it comes to relationship issues, there’s no need to panic – if things are already bad, wait a little bit before trying something drastic.
Fight for your love, for this relationship – he might be the one destined for you.
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
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