When you’re interested in someone, your natural instinct is to pursue them at every opportunity.
However, sometimes things don’t go as smoothly as we might hope.
But why does this keep happening?
Why do we invest so much of our time, energy, and emotions in people who don’t want us back?
How can we stop making such fools of ourselves?
If you find yourself asking these same questions again and again, read on for practical tips on how to stop chasing someone who doesn’t want you.
1) Don’t sacrifice your own happiness.
Sometimes, people put their own happiness on the line in an effort to win someone over.
This is a big mistake.
You can’t control someone else’s feelings, and you shouldn’t pretend to be someone you’re not just to get a relationship off the ground.
Chasing after someone who isn’t interested in you just makes things harder for yourself in the long run.
When you chase someone who doesn’t want you, you end up feeling rejected and lonely.
Instead, focus on being happy with yourself and wait for the right person to come along.
You might be surprised by how much more fulfilled your life will be when you do that.
2) Acknowledge your feelings.
Expressing your feelings is better than holding them back and letting them explode one day.
It will help you accept that you are going through a difficult time.
When you begin to experience feelings of loss or disappointment, you will feel a little uncomfortable, and that is normal.
Don’t blame yourself or try to ignore the feelings and hope they will go away on their own.
Feel free to express them freely and honestly.
Cry if you want.
Crying is also a form of therapy.
It will reduce feelings of anxiety and anger, in addition, it also helps your body reduce stress.
If you want, you can take a paper box and cry freely, just give it a try.
Avoid violent actions such as shouting, hitting, or breaking things.
You may feel better at first, but scientific studies show that using violence to express anger will only make your anger increase.
Reflecting and analyzing why you feel that way is much healthier and more beneficial.
3) Recognize your partner’s flaws.
When you love someone very much, you will often idealize that person. Reflecting on reality – not being angry or judgmental – will help you overcome feelings of pain because of unrequited love.
Think about the traits that are likely to cause disharmony in the person’s relationship.
For example, maybe because they are afraid of socializing, they won’t be able to acknowledge your relationship when you need it.
Studies show that recognizing the other person’s bad points will help you get over the pain of emotional rejection faster.
However, don’t get caught up in talking bad about the person to feel better about yourself.
Later on, this kind of thinking will make you feel even more bitter and angry than it will help you to calm down.
Believe it or not, being rejected emotionally will temporarily make you a little less intelligent.
If you find it difficult to rationally explain your feelings, accept that you need some time to get back to “normal.”
4) Don’t believe in untrue love stories in movies.
These movies show unrealistic love stories which can make viewers think that true love exists.
However, there is a chance that things don’t work out with your true love and being in a relationship with someone who doesn’t want you can be emotionally draining.
There are plenty of other great people out there who are looking for meaningful relationships and those people deserve to find them.
One of the biggest reasons why people get into relationships that don’t work out is because they’re too desperate to find “the one.”
But, the thing is… that person doesn’t exist.
If you believe in a perfect love story, you are setting yourself up for disappointment.
And, the sooner you stop believing in those untrue love stories that are portrayed in movies, the sooner you can start finding someone who actually wants to be with you.
So, stop believing in these untrue love stories and start focusing on finding someone who actually wants to be with you.
5) Distract yourself.
It’s impossible to think about nothing at all, but you can redirect your thoughts to something else every time you find yourself in a rut.
As memories come to mind, distract yourself with another thought, activity, or project.
- Call a friend.
- Read a good book.
- Watch a funny movie.
- Create something.
Find something that engages you long enough to let go of the other person for a while.
The more you get used to stopping thinking about the other person, the easier it will be to get over them.
6) Make a conscious decision to stop chasing.
If you’ve been chasing someone for a long time, it’s time to accept that they are not the right one so stop chasing them.
For many people, this is an emotional decision.
If you have been rejected or hurt by someone who you thought was your soulmate, it can be hard to let go.
You may even blame yourself for being “unlucky” in love.
Instead, take a step back and look at things objectively.
Maybe the person you were chasing wasn’t actually right for you.
You could end up getting hurt in the process and feeling devastated. In the long run, it will only make things worse.
Try not to stress out about this too much, and just accept that they are not the right one and stop chasing them.
It’s understandable why we don’t want to stop chasing someone, not because we love them too much, but because of our ego to conquer.
Make up your own mind about this. Are you genuinely wishing that person well, or are you fantasizing about having him as your own?
Loving someone and wanting them to be content is distinct from desiring to possess and get what we want.
If you realize that continuously pursuing that person is just a desire to achieve a goal and makes you feel fatigued, you should quit before things get too far.
7) Avoid contacting or meeting them.
If someone tells you that they don’t want to date you, it is best to respect their wishes and stop contacting them as well as avoid meeting them.
Another thing you should avoid doing is bothering people who don’t want you to bother them.
In those cases, you are interfering with their lives, and this has a negative effect on both of you.
This isn’t about being rude or inconsiderate.
It’s about respecting other people’s boundaries and treating them with kindness, compassion, and respect at all times.
8) Recognize the signs.
When a person is interested in you, they will display signs of interest.
They may send you messages, ask to hang out, or meet up with you.
If they aren’t showing these signs, it could be a sign that they don’t want to be in a relationship.
Trying to force your crush into wanting more from you isn’t going to work, so stop trying.
Keep an eye out for signs that he/she isn’t interested and respect his/her boundaries.
Don’t continue to chase them. If you do, it could make them uncomfortable.
9) Allow yourself to suffer.
There’s nothing wrong with feeling miserable, as long as you don’t stick with it forever.
In fact, it’s better for you if you let yourself be sad instead of trying to suppress your emotions.
Neglecting or suppressing emotions in the long run will only make the situation worse.
If possible, take the time to nibble on the sadness.
This will give you time to heal.
For example, when you realize that the other person doesn’t have feelings for you, you should find a place to be alone for a while, even if it’s just a 15-minute commute.
However, you should not wallow in suffering.
Sadness is normal, but if you don’t try to return to normal life, you will forever be immersed in thoughts and feelings for that person.
10) Talk to someone.
It’s best to let go of your emotions.
If you hold onto those feelings, you will find it much harder to express them later.
Find someone to talk about every mood and what you’re going through.
Find someone you can trust.
Maybe it’s someone who isn’t trying to force you to calm down.
It could also be a family member you can call every time you feel down.
It could be a psychiatrist, especially if you’re really having trouble getting over a relationship, or it’s related to other issues.
Talking to someone who has been through something similar can also help. You can ask about their experience and how they overcame this.
People who have been through the same thing will understand other people’s problems. You will have to explain less to them and they will understand you more.
Finding someone to confide in can be difficult, especially if you’re experiencing an emotional episode.
In the past, I’ve relied on expert advice to help me deal with my relationship issues.
At that time, I only expected some wise advice about stopping chasing the one that didn’t want me and courage to move on.
I was surprised to receive very specific, in-depth, and practical advice about addressing the issues in my relationship. I got real suggestions for addressing issues that I had been struggling with for years.
Relationship Hero is where I found this special coach who helped turn things around for me. They are perfectly placed to help you with finding the right way to stop chasing that person too.
Within minutes, you could be receiving life-changing advice on how to navigate and repair the issues you’re facing in your relationship.
11) Focus on people and things that matter.
It’s easy to feel like you’re chasing someone who doesn’t want you.
You’ve been out pursuing them for a while now, and they always seem to be one step ahead.
It can be frustrating because you want to get closer, but the other person isn’t making it easy.
This can make you feel like you’re doing everything wrong.
There are some ways to get around this problem.
One way is to focus on people and things that matter to you.
When you focus on things that matter, it is much easier for you not to get caught up in the other person or their issues.
This helps keep your head clear and allows you to be able to focus on what is important in your life.
Maybe it’s your job or school – or maybe it’s something more local like volunteering at a homeless shelter.
Whatever it is, find something that matters to you and make sure that it comes first in your life.
When you do that, you’ll start to shift your priorities away from chasing someone who doesn’t want you and toward getting what matters most to you in life.
12) Get busy.
If someone is not interested in you, there is no need to chase that person.
Chasing after someone who doesn’t want to be with you will only make you look needy, desperate and insecure.
Instead, take the initiative to do something that you enjoy doing to get yourself out of your head and start getting some fresh air, exercise or taking a long walk.
Being active can help clear your mind and put things in perspective.
It’s important to stay busy so that you don’t end up feeling bored and start thinking about all of the things you wish could change about yourself.
13) Do something you love.
For some people, finding love means chasing after a person they believe is their soulmate.
And while this may seem romantic, it’s not the best way to find someone who is right for you.
The best way to find your soulmate is to do something that you love.
If you’re into cooking, volunteer at a local food bank.
If you love to dance, start a weekly dance class.
The point is to do something that you’re passionate about and that you enjoy doing.
As you do this, you’ll be building up your skills and experience so that when you meet someone who shares your interests, things will flow naturally between the two of you.
When you focus your energy on doing things that you like, then it will give you a sense of accomplishment and fulfillment.
This will also motivate you to keep going and not give up when things get tough.
14) Take care of yourself.
It’s incredibly tempting to try and make another person fall in love with you.
But the reality is, people seldom change their minds about someone they already have feelings for.
So, if you want to stop chasing after someone who doesn’t want you, take care of yourself first.
Get plenty of sleep, eat healthy foods, exercise regularly, and keep yourself in good spirits.
Taking care of yourself can help you feel better and keep you from making bad decisions.
If you don’t take care of yourself, then it is easy for people to take advantage of you because they can see that you are not doing anything to maintain yourself.
It is also important to surround yourself with people who believe in your dreams and support those dreams with their actions and words.
These things will make you more attractive and give your date the impression that you are worth investing in.
Besides, there is something that I’ve tried to do to practice self-love.
When I was struggling the most in life, I was introduced to an incredible free breathwork video created by the shaman, Rudá Iandê.
With a focus on dissolving stress and boosting inner peace, it was hard to resist giving it a go.
Why do I recommend this?
Well, simply because it has changed me a lot, and I felt that I needed to share it with you because you came to read this article.
Rudá created these unique flows using a combination of ancient shamanic techniques and healing breathwork sequences.
He’s spent years developing them to help people find their inner peace.
So, if you feel a disconnect with yourself when chasing someone who doesn’t want you, I’d recommend checking out this free breathwork video.
I promise this will change you like it did to me.
Here’s a link to the free video again.
15) Spend time with friends or family.
Spending time with friends and family is one of the best ways to get over a difficult time.
This will help you get out of your head and enjoy the time you spend together.
You can also try doing something physical, like going for a walk or running in place.
These things can help build up your energy levels, which will make you feel more confident and ready to approach someone.
Spending time with friends and family can help you get perspective on your life, and reconnect with the people who care about you.
Plus, spending time with friends and family is good for your mental health, so it’s important not to isolate yourself after rejection.
One thing that can help you through it is to spend time with positive people.
Positive people are people who have a positive outlook on life; they’re happy and smiley most of the time.
Spending time with positive people can be very therapeutic because they’ll remind you that there are good things in the world.
The tips above can help you move on and put this failed relationship behind you once and for all so that you don’t keep making the same mistake over and over again.
I know you’re going through a hard time right now.
But always remember that I believe in you.
So, don’t give up on finding love – just be open to new possibilities!
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
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